Chapter 33 the curtain

curtain one Ray, that deepest mystical joy, you don't know.Girls have a tacit understanding and a curtain. They know each other, but they don't know it.Just like Xiaonan said.When Yinger fell asleep, she put her hands and feet on her body.What Xiaonan said was: "The hands and feet of Yinger." "Those" made me laugh.I said, "It's not a crab." This was the only smile and association I had when I met Xiaonan later. She has always played the role of a little girl in Xiaonan.When she cried occasionally, Xiaonan came to coax her.In fact, there has always been a subtle expansion force between them.There was only one time when it was broken, that was when Yinger gave the clay pot. Yinger cried, and Xiaonan suddenly felt it, and stopped treating her like a child.

"What kind of book is this?" The first time she was at our house, she grabbed the book in Xiaonan's hand and asked. "Lady Chatterley" "It's doing just fine. Twenty bucks a piece." "Ying'er can't read this book." Xiaonan pointed at her, "It will take some time before we can marry her off. It's not suitable for children." "Come on!" She crawled on the bed and flipped through the book, very dissatisfied with him and said. Sometimes Yinger likes to be presumptuous, and she doesn't dare to be in front of you, because there is always a part of your nature that she can't grasp, unlike Xiaonan.She knows what sound a key makes when touched. In fact, she has tried it subtly.A few times when I messed with her over there, she just called you straight up and asked you to come and save her.These are all jokes, she always scares me and says I'm going to bark.I said let's call, and she called out "Lei" in a low voice.She is always like this, as if you are a barrier, the only place where you can't act coquettishly.She always asked: Are you afraid?She really said to me once: Do you dare to hold me over?I said: dare.He picked her up horizontally, she was not wearing the main gown, she was naked.

"If you dare, I will. I don't care." She looked at me defiantly. "I dare not." I put her down again. "Are you afraid of thunder?" I glanced at her and smiled.Really presumptuousness depends on the target, and we all know where to stop. Once she suddenly pushed away the entanglement, and fled to you with a smile.I can't make mistakes, so I have to spend a restless night alone in her bed. I woke up very early in the morning, and I walked over to see you.The door opened little by little, a little timidly, I saw you sleeping with your back on your back, Yinger facing you, you all stopped in a dream.I don't know why, but when you're together it makes me cringe.I know it's definitely not because of Ying'er.

But during the day, Yinger is always on your side. She feels that she is very proud when she is with you, and she is always avenging your grievances. I can marry someone like you. "Don't keep thinking about going to middle school. Middle school? If you were in school, no one would think of you like this," she said. "Are you the monitor at that time? I asked her. "Hmph," she breathed out through her nose, "you can't even score, you deserve to be unlucky..." "It's useless, I just want to marry the monitor." "You're like this?... You really married a monitor." Ying'er seemed to be dumbfounded, "Why is the monitor so unlucky?"

Several times she specifically wanted to imitate your smile, and even tried it in front of me, thinking about it and laughing out of her heart.But she has a mole around her mouth, which makes her smile have a bitter taste, even a bit obviously mocking... I know that Yinger has been guessing about you.But I can't say it, it's what she feels.I could say everything to her, but not this.Sometimes she complained to me and said: You only dare to bully me.Then he asked tentatively: What would happen to Lei?I imitated your gesture and pointed to the next door, and she smiled.I was with her several times afterwards.She pointed to the next door just like you did.

I don't think that's what she really wants to know. She has an obsession with the good looks of other girls, which arouses her self-pity and pride.Once she joked: If you form a beauty party, Ray can be the chairman.She even said that she would write a dissertation on who is not as good-looking as Lei, because when she was in Beijing, people kept saying that she looked like so-and-so, and this fact always stuck in her mind. From the first time she came to me, he wanted to know about you.She's been guessing about you so quietly that she doesn't even want to admit it to herself.

When you were on the island, you always went out together.You teach her how to drive, introduce friends on the island, and go to a caveman theater night.You walk around casually, talking about yourself and talking about other people.Slowly, you let her know your invisible boundary.You know it from the start but you don't know it, as if it's someone else's business, or just another thing in the family, which keeps her from interpreting; But I don't know why the observers are watching so naturally.She seemed to have lost her self-confidence for the first time, which also aroused her curiosity, always wanting to know what you are for.

We search for each other. I can only know her from her sensitive desires, from her faintly revealed stories.I wondered if there was something hidden in her deepest curiosity, anticipation, if she was just joking. "I'm a vulgar person, my husband has to be a man." She seemed to know me and beat me with mean little jokes.She keenly felt another unspeakable desire in my heart. "It's always a girl's house, a girl's house, it's so annoying, what's so strange." When she said this, she always showed a very impatient expression.Sometimes when I look in the mirror and see that I look happy, I am so interested in telling me about girls. "

"You don't paint your lips red." She licked her lips.Sometimes, she is really like Haitang, "When I was in school, the teacher always said that I was not thinking well, and I found out later that she thought I was wearing lipstick. I can't help it." She is always so close to the mirror look at yourself.He said vaguely, "Ray is so good-looking, and married a fool." She quietly asked me what foreign girls are like. "Is she white?" She always asked this question when she was lying naked on the bed for me to massage "You want to ask this." I stroked her lower part, feeling that her curiosity always won over her shyness.she said yes.She wondered if they had body hair like this too.

"Do you have hair too?" She asked me so bluntly, with a pure and innocent look, just like a little girl who wanted to go to a forest.I can't explain the most secret part of this matter, I just remembered it suddenly.she told me.When I was in Beijing, I watched foreign pornographic videos.Maybe sometimes it's just for me. "Are they all half-hearted?" She would ask casually." "You don't know yet?" "How could I know. I'm not a man. If you don't tell me, I won't tell you in the future." How many times have we woke up together, sat on the edge of the bed, and looked at ourselves in the mirror.

In the morning, Ying'er is usually in good spirits, her face is flushed, and she looks good.She likes herself that way.She wrapped her arms around me and talked, and then looked at the mirror, as if watching a TV, her expression was dim.Sometimes she would say, "What are you looking at? It's all packed." "Focus" is a Beijing dialect, which sounds like it has been swollen. Yinger always flickers on and off like this, and I'm used to it.But what I remember is always her eyes are black and bright, and they look big. We just look at ourselves in the mirror, and those places. She wore red pajamas, slept warmly, and was not afraid of the cold when she got out of the quilt, so she pulled me to the bedside.Suddenly he lifted up his clothes and said, "You idiot, you know how to take off other girls' clothes." I couldn't help hugging her, her body was so warm, she pushed me away and pointed at myself in the mirror and said, "Look how beautiful that one is over there, you should marry her." As she spoke, she turned me into the mirror push. I struggled as if I was afraid of falling into the water, "I didn't expect the girl in Chenggen to be so crazy." "Then you marry someone from the village. She put down her clothes, sat beside me, like a carriage, and said with a small mouth: "The village chief made an introduction, and you can't go wrong with someone.Who do people choose? "She suddenly changed her tune and hugged me tightly to look at the mirror, "It's all pretty, let her come over too?" " "Who?" "The person in the mirror. Look!" She pushed back her clothes again. "Hey, don't bite." I like her, but I don't like her habit, maybe because she used to it when she was at home. "My father will let me bite." Her voice was low and so natural. Sometimes a person wakes up and sees it the same way. playing card two With her eyes closed when her body least needs concealment, her emotionally secret need is exposed.She would join my imagination without hesitation, she never knew what it was like to be a man.I like her distaste. She would say: "If she is like that, I need a hundred girls." This sentence was originally said by Chen Lan. I like when her imagination overlaps with mine, talking about how those little girls stand in the spring, how their secretive little bodies gradually become full and bright.She said that foreign girls are very good-looking when they are eleven or twelve years old, their bodies are full of vitality, and the curves of their chests are beautiful and slightly raised.She always has an inescapable admiration for fair skin.She said that little Chinese girls are so big and ugly, like ugly ducklings. When she was looking for my wish, she would also say: "It's scary, why is it like this. No matter how good a girl is, she will be fine. Girls are not afraid of girls. I only know it now. It doesn't matter. Only you are dangerous. You have to lock up your nerves, or..." She thought of a simple idea, and felt scary again, shaking her hand again and again. It is indeed a deep mystery, and everything you feel, she cannot understand.And what she saw, I knew nothing about. We truly seem to be living in two worlds.She will suddenly be silent, immersed in her own confusion. "Do you only think about girls when you want to do bad things, or do you think about girls when you want to do bad things?" She deliberately said something conceptual. "Both." She disliked such general answers the most.What she wants to know is that feeling she can't get, the violent desire and need, and the vision of a woman that can only be seen in that lust. She didn't know what to do, so she retaliated and said to me: "No one like you can bear it. You have to go to the red-light district. I will pay for it. Go." At other times she seemed to have no interest in anything, and she no longer made small inquiries.When she lost interest in herself, she took a straightforward and natural attitude.She would go to the city, buy a pack of playing cards with nude women on them, and put them on the bedside one by one, as if they were really gifts for me. you. bath three She did feel this while she was in the bath.She said Xiaonan was tall, like a foreign woman.She has always thought this way, all in vain, as if it made her dark and eclipsed, such a subtle and sharp contrast. "Why are you always acting like a little girl?" In the middle of the vigorous water vapor, her burly aunt said so to her, so that she often felt ashamed.Eyes covered by soap.This is a kind of little girl's worry and comfort, just like a small tree, not knowing what kind of big tree it will grow into, afraid that it will grow too big, but also afraid that it will not grow up, she seems to be here A kind of hesitation. In this same wood, there is nothing to hide.The bright hot water splashed light on their bodies like spring light.The woman was bathing calmly, and the girl was chirping.High windows cast shadows.There is no temptation or danger here, only the ordinary and fresh body seen clearly and unintentionally.Her legs are very long, Ying'er would think so, she knows that her waist is beautiful, but she still tries to think of some shortcomings.And among all of these, there is nothing she pays more attention to and longs for than Bai.This is an ordinary thing, but it is an inescapable wish for her. She told me in detail about the appearance and expression of the girl she liked.Fingers, skin and round waist, body hair changes slightly every spring.She seemed to be trying to arouse my desire, and laughed at me.Make their world, through my curious desire, become like a song and a dream in my imagination.She gently lifted away the layers of dresses of the waves, the spots of the sun, and the dark shadows of the trees in the valley.She let me watch spring after spring.She carried me like a shadow, and gently asked me to admit that our desires are different, like bees in the air, and the sigh of a big tree. She noticed my slight pulse, quickened breathing, and the sound of every image; as if passing through a white winding corridor, in the middle of repeated mirrors, making things familiar to her strange ;she seemed to be waiting for the waves returning from the shore, and once again swirled among the hidden seaweed and jellyfish; she seemed to be driving a boat, and she wanted to listen to the sound of the sea through the plank; The line that knows no bounds.She can reflect that reflection, but cannot blow it; she stirs my desire with subtlety and directness, and leaves my imagination between the colors of the iridescent: she laughs at my hesitation and prevents my choice.This makes desire burst out like lightning, destroying her, and taking her into an irreversible flood; sometimes she likes this kind of careful playful process, let her use small mirror-like waves to play and show off, she wants to Let them arouse different desires, and see them through desire.She was delighted by this slight difference; she longed to lift the bead curtain modestly to show off her jewels; Know my wishes, day by day, room after room, absurd dream. "Is it different?" She knew that in those small grids, the most mysterious thing was not their physical dreams, but their respective thoughts.That if there is no difference in fragrance. black cat four "She looks pretty" I thought of her when I saw the photo.Gentle as she entered, she is now standing in a well-manicured orchard in South America, looking reassuring. "Do you want her? Do you want her?" Ying'er tortured me at night, she whispered in my ear, "She lived with you, did you want her?" "No." "Do you want to? I know you do." (She walks around and fixes her hair on her way out in the morning.) "Ok." "Then why don't you want her, are you up?" (It's raining, I'm too sleepy to go back, and a flash of lightning shines on the poplar.) "Let's get up and eat canned peaches together. Lei is too big." (When the light is turned on, the light will dim. It was very happy to talk at that time.) Then you want me like you want her.Do you think so? Ying'er's voice became faster and faster, and the sound of water rang in my ears. High and low water columns swirled and rolled in the bath, and the hot water pipes were white. What did she see in the mirror covered by water mist? ? Yinger was standing on the other side of the room, without clothes, she was standing behind the table, on a stool, the reflection was shining on her plump legs, and there was a little black between the leg lines.She looked at me presumptuously, dodged my pursuit, and stood there, leaning on the square pillars, facing me. "If you don't let me wear clothes, I won't wear them, and I won't wear them again. When Lei comes back, I will say, take off my clothes." "You see the girl coming out of the bathroom, remember her naked?" "You close your eyes." "You've never seen a girl like this, have you?" "When did you know?" I asked. "After college." "I didn't know what to think before?" "I don't know what to think, but I know that something is terrible. You guys have done bad things, and you don't know what happened. I also asked a big girl in our hospital. At that time, I thought she was quite big, "What is it? What's going on? , she said: 'Sleep. ''sleep? 'I don't understand at all.She took one look at me and went into the house. " (Narrow and long footprints appeared on the beach, one after another in deserted places, stretched over collapsed rivers and cross rocks, and the footprints came from the sea. He was an eight-year-old boy with sand on his naked penis.He was looking for his shoes, one in his hand.Apart from him, there was only this line of footprints on the beach. He seemed to see the shoe, shaking in the air, and he didn't know why the shoe left him, left the ground, and floated in an invisible tide. He walked forward over the rocks and over the stream. The sea water blocked by sand dunes is as cool as a mirror, and the algae filaments inside are light green, and the transparent shrimps are only revealed when they swim on the algae filaments.The knots on the sand are growing crazy. After a long time, she heard a small choked cry.It was a pale cicada molting on a willow tree, repeating her song.She walked over, but the boy was gone, and there was a small tree growing in the only shoe. ) Yinger has already decided to write some stories with me, and the title of the book is also called "Fifteen Years Old".Write about her experience of a girl's state of mind, the beginning of lust, and my absurd fantasy.We are going to overlap and simply fulfill each other's wishes in this book.Surprised by my first insurmountable excitement, she went to my dream after dream to experience such danger.She made me walk behind her like a black cat, or approach her laundry when no one was around. In the middle of the night, because of the light beside her bed, I climbed up a big tree with lush branches and a chimney; she let me walk silently on the roof, or draw pictures in a dilapidated house. Fifteen years old, she likes this number and her beautiful appearance, she wants to know the closest moment we are in life; our fate is like a conspiracy.At the age of seventeen, she imagined that I was sawing a log brutally on the street, while she was carrying a schoolbag and wearing a floral skirt, walking by the side of the street without a sound. "Too young." She said, "I met you back then, too young, you were a madman." She knew the street where I saw wood.It is two or three stops away from her school. "Too small." When she knew my desire, she said, "How would I know that you are like this?" This is a book that never began.