Chapter 24 after one night

that ghost knows very well After reading these words, I have a little dream.I have an awkward feeling about G and his story.I can't seem to find a language in my life, and I can't find a basis in the middle of common sense, a foothold for thinking habits and emotions. What can I say?It's not even clear what happened between Li and his borrower, the engraved sweetheart (the Yinger whom he thinks is his wife). Life is full of surprises, but this incident is a bit counterintuitive. "He's kind of crazy," people would say, but I did meet G, and had so many lunches and dinners with him. , except for his special hat and wayward behavior, his mind is indeed normal.He can talk about natural philosophy in class, evaluate poetry, and answer all kinds of hidden sharp questions, and he is even a leader in this respect.It's hard for me to imagine a person with such a witty, humorous, and weird taste, containing such an absolute idea.

He is not fit to be a human being!I think so. He's a well-disguised lunatic.His fantasies and energy to realize them reached irreconcilable levels.He wants to exclude everything outside; all men, all masculine world, society; even reproduction and nature, including himself.He confronts the world with coy disguises and with death, to break all conventions.This combination of understanding and madness terrifies me.A person who can understand his own madness and absurdity, and at the same time all rationality serves this madness, pushing his life to the limit step by step, is not just madness.He is the devil!

I think this because I have the feeling of the devil in my heart. How are you living?he asked softly.These words made my whole life precarious. All the routines in the world are established for the continuation of human life and his social life.Losing the premise of living, we can live or die, this freedom is terrible, but without this, we are just the last maintainers of life and life, we can only live or die!What kind of freedom is this?It's just a group of captives being escorted and unable to leave the road.Apart from life, what purpose does man have? I turned on the water and poured cold water over my head. I knew that this was really a temptation of the devil. His purpose was so clear, to filter out the clearest dew from our turbid human nature.

"They came from heaven." He hates all reproductive, social production, ethics; he does not admit it, he hates all positive logic, and thinks the whole is a conspiracy of the world; He does not want to be a scholar, not even a man; all growth and development frightens him; he fantasizes about a life that will never be realized.A girl's day of cleanliness, which was missed at his birth.He's been countering his gender, his desires, everything that's been asked of him, and he's not just antisocial.And it's against nature.He rebelled against all inherent existence.He cannot express his love, because the girl he loves cannot love a man; nor can he continue his love, because this love makes him a father, and this extreme, contradictory emotion keeps him away from society, to approach his only fantasy life.

"There are many flowers, there are two" There is only one time when he is silent, that is when he sees the girls together, he wildly imagines their life together, the life that never existed, "beauty is between flowers", when he When he came down from the mountain, he saw the girl who loved him sleeping peacefully together, so he went out and stood under the clear sky.This is his heaven, the only possibility for him to realize his dream, he expects them to fall in love, or just seeing them together is enough. This is his lifelong desire, to live and love like a girl is also his fatal point, because the woman who is with him is together because of him.

His own responsibility, it seems, consists solely in keeping women out of the dangerous masculine world. "They are the dustless flowers of heaven." The life he conceived is not only contradictory but also beyond the possibility of human nature.What he could bear was not what any man could bear; and it was strange that fate allowed him to achieve it for a moment.There really were women like that who followed him and got along well with each other.Maybe he caught a glimpse of some natural harmony in his daughter's sexuality. "These flowers don't need soil, let them leave the soil"

G said: The most important thing about art is to get rid of life.At the time I didn't know what he was talking about.He said: "You can pick roses, but you can't pick the fragrance of roses. Only when you are with spring can you always have flowers on your hands." What is G talking about?This is the secret of G, he uses a language that everyone can accept to say the thing that everyone is dumbfounded.He is a lunatic and a devil, but he cleverly found a poet's clothes in the world.He mingled among us, quietly doing his work; He is as honest as a sheep and writes poems about angels.If it weren't for this incident to cut him apart, no one would know what he wanted! , G, that G with a broad forehead, haggard complexion, sharp and childish brows wearing a hat, so attentively asked my wife about metallography, looking at the erosion tissue and particle structure under the electron microscope; What are you thinking!He poured the tea into the bowl with the stir-fried vegetables so unintentionally. He is a playful person. I remember the person who takes off his shoes as soon as he enters the door. Are they the same person? "I just can't believe this.

Only c can see him at the same time. He is quietly waiting for his doomsday.People in the world are waiting for the future, but who is waiting for their own cross? I have seen him collapsed, he stood in the middle of the big house, picked up something and gave it to someone, just like the kind of person who is going abroad, everything has nothing to do with him.From then on he didn't talk about the future, his island, his plans.Occasionally, he still jokes with us, and when he looks at us, he always says: You, you.From his expression, I felt an ominous omen, but I didn't expect that it was at that time; he began to prepare for his own destruction bit by bit.It's amazing how long he can calmly prepare to die, because he is an impulsive person, and it can be seen from these words how he restrained his madness.

Nothing can stop him.This is what he is destined for and what he desires; no change of fortune can change him. In terms of life, he can almost be said to be lucky, his works have brought him fame, he has a complete family; C is a wife who can understand all his eccentricities, house, land; but nothing can stop He, "for he is destroyed at the root".The kingdom he had prepared since he was a child and prayed to heaven was destroyed.This destruction cuts off all possibility of his existence. He is one of the rare monsters who lives purposefully. He grows outside life, but a section of root is exposed inside life.When it was severed, he looked at us strangely, almost in amazement.

"What do you live for?" I seem to be able to see his last expression through the air, his slightly changing expression is shining with novelty, as if the madness that dissolves everything has begun to crystallize; this is a cave shining with cold crystals of all kinds, a pure world, he beyond life. At this moment, I couldn't help but tremble from my heart.I seem to have seen the pseudo-ruthless storm that melts and casts life, only it can do this, only it can do this.Let the flame from the abyss intrude on us, let the invisible hand play us, and change our inner emotions every day; it imagines us as being, and treats us as nothing!It injects a life with devil-like enthusiasm, and gives him the vision of heaven, and a clear mind of human beings, and makes them meet; it has done this!

G knows clearly.He admitted, so he, as always, has no regrets or doubts. That's what he's going to tell us.He is the devil, and the blade that flutters in the devil's wind.