Chapter 27 We, the army of thousands in the trap

In 1970, a 17-year-old male, an educated youth from a certain regiment of a farm in H Province When I woke up the next day, I was completely dumbfounded--"Long live the spirit of the little scythe!"--stir garlic and shoe polish together and ask her to eat it--Ho Chi Minh Trail--A very beautiful girl like a flower like a jade--Suspicion arises-- - A popular song "Educated Youth Song" at that time--We are the heroes of the country! On May 17, 1970, we excitedly boarded the train at the M city railway station and headed for the distant Great Northern Wilderness.There was a lot of crying and screaming at the station, and the educated youth stretched out his hand from the window, tightly grasping the arms of those relatives standing on the platform who were seeing off the station, and did not let go until the wheels started. It was only after they opened their hands that it was like parting from life to death!Among them, I was the only one who looked different. I was very excited, beating gongs and drums vigorously, and shouting slogans desperately.At that time, I was just sixteen years old, and I was full of the enthusiasm inspired by the Red Guard Movement. In my head, I only had the words "to achieve a lot in the vast world", without any other specific things, just a mass of fiery , swelling, sparkling sensation.Coupled with the silly desire to run away from home when you were a teenager.I was very happy along the way, beating, beating, shouting and shouting. The train went for two days and two nights, and my throat was silent before it arrived at the station.

The train arrived at the farm station late at night.When the door was opened, it was pitch black, it was raining, and it was extremely cold.We are from the hot city of M, and we are still wearing shirts!Quickly stretch out the military coat from the luggage bag and put it on.After getting out of the car, in the dim light of the platform, I saw everyone was green and all put on cotton clothes.The cold rain rustled on the cotton coat. We are going to the farm for the big trucks.The farm seemed so large that it seemed to have no edges.They follow the way of the army, one company and one place.Every time our truck reaches a company, some people get off.I got off at Company X, and there were about sixty educated youths who came to this company.We were led to sleep in a big cold and dark room.As it was dark, I saw nothing, only felt that the ground was muddy.I was so tired that I fell asleep immediately without dreaming.When I woke up the next day, I was stupid!We are all stupid!

where is the houseIt turned out to be a huge old-fashioned tent, which was patched and patched, leaking air, and the inside of the tent was also full of mud, and long weeds grew from under the bed.This is our permanent residence.To eat, I have to walk more than 100 meters through the mud to the kitchen. Only then did I understand why the school repeatedly asked us to prepare high boots when we arrived.Seeing this situation, several young students cried and turned to go back.But how is it possible to go back?There are two big tents, each housing 30 people, and they are 50 meters apart.That night, everyone lay down, no one spoke, and gradually there was crying.First the female educated youth cried, then the male educated youth cried too, and finally the cries of the two tents joined together.In this desolate wilderness, the cry is the same as the sound of wind and water, who cares about you?We were only sixteen or seventeen years old then.

Most of us were assigned to do farm work in the "agricultural company".Farm work here is not easy.There is no drainage system, and when it comes to harvesting, when it rains heavily, the field becomes a vast ocean, and the machine cannot go down, so you have to use a "small scythe" to solve the problem when harvesting wheat.The work is also carried out in a surprise manner. When the dew dries up at dawn, we immediately go down to cut, because the wheat is not easy to cut when it is covered with dew;After a day of work, people are almost scattered.It was even more difficult when harvesting soybeans. It was September, the ground was full of water, and it was frozen at night.Therefore, felt socks, leather boots, and fleece pants must all be worn.But when I was working, the sun was shining, and it was so hot that I wore a single coat.When it's hot and cool, it's not worth mentioning the discomfort.Later, many educated youths got arthritis, nephritis, and rheumatism like this.But then no one flinched.Public opinion is strong, lazy people are shameful!Our slogan is "Long live the small sickle!" "Break the bones and connect the tendons!" Sometimes you can use the machine, but you don't want to use it, because you can "return the particles to the warehouse" with the "small sickle". The spirit is really amazing. Especially girls are not easy.Most of the old workers on the farm are demobilized soldiers and heavy laborers from Shandong and Sichuan, who don't know how to take care of the girls at all.The female educated youths had their menstruation, but they were ashamed to say that they stuck their legs in the biting ice water and worked silently.Thinking about them now makes me feel sorry for them.

As for the hardship of life, you can't imagine it at all. Let me give you an example.Educated youths are only eligible to enjoy a "sick meal" when they are sick.This "sick rice" is just a pot of soybean oil, green onion and large salt particles, and then poured in boiling water to cook a bowl of noodle soup.Once, there was only one bowl of "sick rice" left, and two educated youths fought for the bowl of noodles, and one educated youth spat into the noodles. Take a sip, and say: "I don't dislike you, let's have half of each!" This bowl of broken noodle soup is just to make the stomach feel better.

The food there is always rough.A steamed bun weighs half a catty, a steamed bun weighs three liang, and pork is eaten once a month or two; on the day of eating pork—I didn’t have a camera at that time, I should really ask you to see the happy faces of those children!That face is beautiful!What if there is no meat to eat?Cat meat, rabbit meat, bird meat, mouse meat... Once our drag machine crushed a snake, everyone cut the snake into pieces with a knife.I found a broken can on the ground, put some water in it, lit the branches, and boiled the snake meat piece by piece. It tasted really delicious.When I went back and told my friends, everyone swallowed their mouths.

The natural environment here is not bad.There is a primeval forest on the mountain, and "Shui Pao Zi" on the ground. The water and grass are lush, a thousand miles away, very open, and there is absolutely no pollution.If you take a look as a tourist, it is of course very good.If you were asked to live like me for eight years, I'm afraid—don't say bad words—I'm afraid you would have run back long ago! Just talk about the weather!When the winter is the coldest, the ears and nose are "bang hard" from the cold.Sometimes the old workers play a prank by picking up the foreign pickaxe and saying to the educated youth: "Why is the blade of this pickaxe a bit sweet? You can lick it!"Pull again, and a piece of tongue will fall off.At this time, you must go to the house as soon as possible, ask others to breathe out, and help "ha" to drive.When encountering "blowing smoke bubbles" - the kind of strong wind after snow, it often raises the snow to a height of more than three meters at the place where the wind blows, which disturbs the surrounding sky and makes people lose their way.The result of getting lost is mostly freezing to death.

When I say hardship, don't think that we will call our father and mother, complaining about suffering.Once we came back from work in the mountains, the car broke down and we walked more than 100 miles on foot.When I was thirsty on the road, everyone chewed on the leaves. I suddenly saw some rainwater accumulated in the ruts on the ground, so I lay down, waved away a layer of small flying insects on the water surface, and went to drink the rainwater.My invention was unanimously praised by everyone, and everyone drank it like this.With his throat moistened, he sang, shouted slogans, and read quotations, and returned to the farm in a bang, still feeling very high.

It can be said that from the early days of the Cultural Revolution to this time, I have not had the slightest sense of introspection. At the beginning of the Cultural Revolution, we criticized an old teacher.She used to be an old principal, but was classified as a rightist during the anti-rightist movement, and worked as a cleaner in the school.When forcing her to explain the problem, some naughty classmates told her to eat garlic without stopping. She said she couldn't bear it, so she asked her to mix it with shoe polish and stuffed grape leaves dipped in mud into her mouth.At that time, we would never think that we were persecuting people. On the contrary, we felt that we were heroes, righteous, and steadfast.This is how the students felt about themselves at the time.

Before I came to the branch, I also participated in mobilizing others to join the branch.I remember we went to work in the home of a "nail household" who refused to let their children go.The method used is "boiling the eagles", that is, mobilizing day and night, making soft words and insisting that they are not allowed to sleep until they are overwhelmed, nodding in agreement, and immediately going through the registration transfer procedures for them. Wicked!I remember that the one who should leave this family is a girl, and the mother and daughter live in a bungalow.Seven or eight of us were crowded in their house, and there were people sitting by the water tank. You talked to me until late at night, but the mother and daughter just didn't talk. When I wake up and take a look, hi!The mobilized and the mobilized were all asleep, stumbling around, snoring, and everyone collapsed.Of course, in the end they were conquered by us.But where do I think about it, since Chairman Mao's call is so great, why use such coercive means?

Sometimes there is no pain without thought. So I have always been happy and high-spirited. At that time, our spare time was mainly a criticism meeting, which was also the only cultural way.After working for a day, they were gathered by the company headquarters at night to criticize them.For us, writing big-character posters is practicing calligraphy, writing critical manuscripts is writing essays, singing "Dongfanghong" and "Sailing the Seas Rely on the Helmsman" is singing songs; No personal verses.Although this kind of cultural life is full of politics, people can also give full play to their talents, and they can do it with sound and power.We are absolutely not allowed to read any books other than those written by Marxism-Leninism and Chairman Mao.Occasionally, someone secretly borrowed a novel from another company, and everyone rushed to read it, but the company leader must not know.I remember there was a foreign novel "Junyou", written by Maupassant, it was passed to me during dinner, I stared until it was two o'clock in the night, and another educated youth got up to continue reading at half past two.The utilization rate of books is extremely high. When it comes to watching movies, it's our festival!A film was borrowed from the division headquarters, and it was passed around to the regiment headquarters for screening.Mostly they went to a concentrated place, and the educated youths from all the companies came, like a big party.Meet old friends and meet new ones.I remember once hearing that the Hong Kong film "Acrobatic Heroes" was going to be screened.The educated youth gathered in the square early and waited from dark until three o'clock at night.As soon as the film was delivered, the square cheered thunderously, and the sound shook the mountains and the ground. I don't know whether it expresses a kind of satisfaction or a kind of hunger and thirst.Another time I watched a North Korean movie. It snowed heavily in the movie, and it also snowed heavily in the square, but no one left.In the movie, people entered the house, but we stood in the heavy snow.This feeling is really strange and wonderful. We have big chunks of blank time, lonely and alone, and love emerges.The company commander is like a housekeeper in the feudal era, often going to bridges and crossings at night to block those men and women who go out for a walk.Sometimes they hid in the back of a Jiefang truck and monitored our every move.But we have a secret path leading from the back of the tent to the forest, which is a quiet path for educated youths to fall in love.Educated youths love to call it "Ho Chi Minh Trail".This path winds through a flowering meadow, and there are many small birch trees covering it. It is beautiful, quiet and mysterious. Many educated youths have left their footprints on the path accompanied by trembling hearts. I can't get over this detail, it's important - looking out over the company's large yard, there's a maple tree.It grows on a flat meadow, without any other trees around, it is the only one, maybe because of its good terrain, it survived alone.It is short and big, and because it is too far away, it usually looks blurry; but in autumn, it is very red, like a bunch of torches, very attractive.Sometimes when I feel lonely, looking at it seems to make me feel better.It seems to be a kind of sustenance, a kind of expectation.Some people feel distressed in their hearts, so they go to the tree to stay for a while, to be quiet for a while, to cry for a while, and then they will feel better.So people always say that it can relieve pain and is very effective.me?I -- I don't particularly like to talk about myself today.I just want to say that it is very strange these days that I often think of this tree in a trance.I might go back one day just for this tree!What?You said my eye circles are a little red?I went to bed late again last night. The major change in our educated youth life was a sudden accident.An old employee had an ambiguous relationship with a female educated youth. He couldn't control it at night, so he got into the female educated youth's tent and was caught on the spot.Although this matter caused a lot of trouble in the company, it was by no means so simple. When he held a study class for this old worker, he beat and forced him to confess his romantic history, and there were actually many women!There are female workers and other female educated youths.At this time, people put suspicion on my girlfriend.My girlfriend is the vice monitor.It was very cold in the tent at that time, and a gasoline barrel burning "halfs" (a tree trunk standing up and split in four) would not work at all.My friend lived in this old worker's house and stayed with his daughter just to keep warm.The Chinese are both interested and imaginative in this regard, so they put a question mark on my friend: Could it be that he will not be tempted by a big girl with beautiful eyebrows and eyes in front of him? You ask my friend?She is a very good girl, and I have been classmates with her since we were young, and we have a good impression of each other, but I was deeply educated in traditional culture at that time, and the relationship between men and women was very feudal, and the expression was very cryptic.Once I was soaked in chlorine gas, when she came to see me, she immediately gave me the coat and gloves she was wearing, which was much stronger than a casual kiss from young people nowadays.But once this incident happened, both the blow to me and the pressure of public opinion would be too great... I'd better not talk about my own affairs for now! After this incident, another similar incident happened.The company department saw that the problem was not small, and stepped up their efforts to expose and report. The educated youths exposed the educated youths, and the old employees also exposed each other. Dozens of people were actually involved!Most of the educated youth involved are girls.The company department locked up and beat those men who had trouble.It is said to be "the dictatorship of the masses", but it is actually "forced, confessed, and believed".In this way, whether it is an honest confession or a torture, the more people are exposed, the more people are exposed.We were surprised, incest it!Isn't this a den of hooligans?Especially those girls are the least sympathetic, they are embarrassing for the educated youth!At that time, we still had a strong sense of collective dignity and honor, and we still had an ideal spirit for the movement to go to the mountains and go to the countryside! There is a girl from City B.She is also afraid of the cold--.You are here, you can't even imagine what it's like to be cold there!By going to the stable to buy milk, she stayed in the stable for a while to keep warm.The old milkman was courteous, gave her hot milk, comforted her with kind words, small favors, and resorted to tricks, and finally got her, and the girl was pregnant.Everyone scolded her, but no one thought about it. This girl was tall and slender, as beautiful as a flower, and very beautiful; the old worker was short and ugly, with one eye.How could this girl fall in love with that old guy?No one sympathized with her, they all thought she was shameless and an embarrassment to the educated youth!When she went to the division hospital to beat the children, the hospital would not let her stay; on the way back to the company from the hospital, the long-distance bus would not let her take her.Because the nurses in the hospital and the ticket sellers on the bus are all educated youths, no one takes pity on this "humble" woman.Once, the girl quarreled with another educated youth, and immediately many people rushed up and tore her blouse to pieces, revealing the inside.To humiliate her, of course.From then on, the girl became decadent, following several of them one after another.In the end, the group leader saw that she was very good-looking, so he took it for himself.What a spoiled girl! From this, my eyes were covered with a layer of black mist. When things like this happen, they will happen endlessly in the future.The head of the hostel, the chief of staff, and the head of a regiment transferred many female educated youths, saying that they would give them good jobs, not do farm work, and have food and drink. In fact, the three of them took turns to do it.More than a hundred girls asked them to play.Among them, one of the high-level cadres reported to the central government, and those guys were executed. Since this incident happened, we have expressed sympathy for those innocent female educated youths.They are far away from home, helpless, lonely and miserable, with no way out and full of despair, so they are bullied and persecuted by people using small favors and power in their hands.There are also those who want to go to college and want to leave here, so they have to make a compromise. How can the responsibility be placed on these poor helpless weak women? As sympathy arises, doubt also arises. During this period, social injustice spread everywhere, and it also hit the company.When I came back from visiting relatives in M ​​City, I gave the company commander an almanac. Actually, I had no other intentions, but it is rare to see such an almanac in this remote place.For this reason, the company commander actually transferred me to the farm primary school as a teacher.An almanac didn't disintegrate him, it disintegrated me; the sacred was gone, the disgust came.I just started to cool down.I'm also really stupid. I was even more stupid because I didn't return to City M until 1978.I was almost the last to leave the company headquarters.The locals jokingly called me a "precious animal". From 1975 onwards, educated youths could choose to go to university and return to the city after treatment of illness.The movement of going to the mountains and going to the countryside is falling apart.At that time, "Song of the Educated Youth" was popular.At first, I just sang secretly, but gradually the company commander didn’t care when he heard it, and I can’t remember all the lyrics. Anyway, there are a few lines: Farewell to my mother, goodbye to my hometown, and the golden student days, as long as youth enters the annals of history, everything will never return; Farewell to my mother, goodbye to my hometown, we are going to repair the earth heavily, that is our sacred duty, O my poor fate! The lyrics are rough, but spread widely.The song is very melancholy, which is very suitable for our low mood, so everyone is always singing.The leaders are very smart, and there is something ominous in this song.The central government began to organize condolence groups from all over the country to visit us.I still remember that the Harbin condolence group brought "anti-inflammatory tablets", and the Tianjin condolence group gave each educated youth a fleece jacket. I have forgotten what the Shanghai condolence group gave as a gift.But we intentionally showed them the dirtiest, most dilapidated houses with the worst conditions. We also showed them our toilets. The toilets here are made of wood and grass as walls. It is too much, it is frozen into an ice mound, and the top is a frozen dung tip. You must bring a stick to the toilet. First break the dung tip, otherwise it will bend your thighs... They were amazed.But at most it's just a few nice words to persuade.Everyone knows that they come to appease, not comfort.The eye in everyone's heart opened and became brighter and brighter. R and I were two people in the tent, undressed, looking for each other's illness.I suddenly found that his arm was a little bent. He wrote to his family and found out that he had broken it since he was a child.He used this "reason" to return to the city.I sent him away and stopped in the wilderness before I really felt a sense of abandonment.In fact, we were abandoned as early as 1970, but we were a bunch of fools at that time! The last days on the farm were absolutely unbearable for the average person. When we first arrived, the clotheslines were full of clothes to dry, but now there are only a few scattered ones; in the past, there were long queues for lunch, and in the end there were only a few left, like a few unbroken buttons on old clothes.In a big tent, people are often invisible if you don't look carefully. The road from the highway to the company was just a thin path.In eight years, our heavy footsteps stepped on a three-meter-wide avenue, but people walked one by one, and the road narrowed again. The "Ho Chi Minh Trail" has been buried by weeds.Whenever I feel lonely and lonely, I run to sit under the maple tree, but this maple tree is no longer effective, no matter how much I cry, it is difficult to get rid of the depression in my heart... People with backgrounds, contacts, and methods have all left.In the end, after being instructed by others, I bought the laboratory technician of the hospital with four sticks of dried noodles, changed the laboratory test form, and then returned to M City.You see, I have only paid the same price for four sticks of dried noodles in the past eight years.Yes, it was December 30th, 1978, and it seemed to be 1979.When my 60-year-old mother saw me coming back, she was so happy that she jumped up with her feet off the ground like a child.But who ever asked me where I lived for eight years, what did we leave behind? Our company's educated youths are pretty neat, and all sixty are alive.A girl in the company next to her suddenly collapsed when she was out of the kiln to pick bricks, and she was crushed to death inside.It was already burnt to dryness when people got it out, and she didn't dare to ask her family to come to see it, so she hurriedly buried it in the wasteland.The worst thing was a forest fire, and the group leader ordered the educated youth to put out the fire.A forest fire, although it is full of smoke during the day, looks like a sky lantern at night. It is full of fire, with a high temperature of several hundred degrees, and people will be burned as soon as they enter.Absolutely no fire can be thrown there, only a fire escape can be made outside.But the head of the regiment was reckless, and more than forty educated youths were burned to death in the end.There is a fire in the forest, and the fire is chasing people, which is more violent than tigers; men run fast, and most of the people burned to death are girls.But... who ever bowed to these innocent children who died in vain? If these girls knew that the educated youths would eventually return to their parents, wouldn't they be even more consciously sad?If they had spirits in the underworld, they would definitely cry out in misery and anger! In the days when I was about to leave the farm.The educated youths were already furious.In a regiment headquarters, an educated youth burned down the house of the head of labor and management.Because there are rumors everywhere that the chief of the section piled up a mountain of gifts from the educated youths.Later, when the educated youth returned to the city, they no longer needed a hospital certificate, nor did they need a reason! As soon as the educated youth left, another tragedy occurred.That is, some educated youths have girlfriends in the local area.As soon as he left, he handed over the fruit of suffering to his girlfriend.This is very similar to the song "Xiaofang".So someone commits suicide.A local girl wrote in her suicide note: "I advise local youths not to love the educated youths in the city!"Misery is an infectious disease.Who knows the extent of the legacy of the Cultural Revolution? You asked me what I think of this special experience of my educated youth.To be honest, I am very contradictory, I have always been contradictory, and I don't want to solve it in this life.I think if you ask any educated youth, he will give you the same answer. From a pessimistic point of view, the eight years of hard work are still secondary.We were driven to the frontier in our teens, and we are now in our forties.There are many shadows in my heart and many injuries on my body.Many people's health breaks down early, such as kidney disease, stomach disease, back disease, rheumatism, and it is impossible to get rid of it for the rest of their lives, and this is the second.The most important thing is that we have lost the opportunity to learn. Many educated youths are talented, but lack knowledge and no academic qualifications. Although they are still in their prime, they cannot compete with college students and graduate students.Yes, we were spoiled. From an optimistic point of view, the eight-year predicament has tempered us, and we have endured everything; the coldest weather, the hardest life, and the most tiring work.What else do we pay?We have a strong ability to adapt, do not worry about difficulties, have strong tolerance, and can cope with various problems.When I first returned to the city, the Electric Power Bureau recruited people, and a hundred people went there, most of whom were educated youths.At that time, the Electric Power Bureau wanted to build a few one-story houses in the yard for office work, but there was a shortage of carpenters. Immediately, more than a dozen people said that we are all carpenters.Ask again, they are all educated youths.All the educated youth are good.They have all been practiced in the "Laojun Furnace" of the Cultural Revolution, aren't they supernatural?However, what makes me most proud is that every educated youth has already understood what they have undertaken for the country-- In fact, after the Red Guard Movement, that is, in 1970, the national economy was completely ruined.The country no longer has the power to arrange jobs for 20 million educated youths, and it is not safe to put them in the city, and they are afraid of trouble, so they came up with the grandiose slogan of "doing a lot in the vast world" and exiled us everywhere.As a result, our army of thousands of horses and horses who had charged forward for them and were utterly loyal fell into the trap that was arranged.Despite our grievances, despite our sufferings, the burden that even the country cannot carry has been carried on the thin shoulders of our teenage children.It was we who held up this leaning column that prevented the collapse of the national building.You said, aren't we great, heroes, and genuine national pillars?Although all of this is only after the fact we understand. However, I sometimes wonder, who can recognize our self-proclaimed heroes.As I said before, who is going to bow to the place where the forty girls were burned to death? What I said is about the same, now it's your turn to say something! History has been fully remembered, and it depends on whether people forget it.