Chapter 2 dead bird

People in Tianjin Wei are very joking, so many people have nicknames.Some people's nicknames are called face to face, while others' nicknames can only be said behind their backs, it depends on how the nickname came about.Where there is a nickname, there must be a funny story; but stories are different, some stories can be told casually as jokes, and some stories cannot be told indiscriminately; for example, the various nicknames of He Daotai—Dead Bird. He Daotai looks ordinary, like a piglet.But the real person doesn't show his face, so he can hide in secret.He has two abilities, one is to serve the boss, the other is to serve the birds.

Serving your boss is a special feat.Follow the boss's ass all day long, slow and fast will not work.If you follow too slowly, you won’t be able to make progress when things happen, and your boss will be anxious; if you follow too closely, you may step on the boss’s heel, which will annoy your boss instead.And it's not enough to just follow behind like a Saitiao puppy.You also have to be good at observing words and emotions, knowing the boss's temper, knowing when to say it, and when not to say it; bow your head and ears when being scolded, and nod your head when you are scolded.Boss swearing, it may not be your fault, sometimes it's just the boss showing off his power and comforting himself.If you can't bear your temper, frowning and curling your lips, showing trouble, then ask your boss to remember.From then on, Guan'er did not grow bigger and bigger, but became smaller and smaller——this kind of work that is not done by humans, but He Daotai did it with ease and naturalness.People say that He Daotai's all these abilities come from his nature, that he was born to be the boss's pissing basket, a donkey who can't kick a fart with three legs, right?

After talking about serving the boss, let's talk about serving the birds. Serving the birds is another achievement.Don't think that if you put a bird in a cage, put some rice, give some worms, and add some water, it will be able to jump and jump.A bird has a habit of closing its eyes and flapping its feathers, and drooping its wings; a bird has a bird's temperament, which does not sing or sing or move without following it. It is almost as dead as alive.People say that He Daotai must have been a bird in his life.He knows everything about birds, no matter what kind of bird, after being manipulated by his chubby hands, the feathers are bright and lively, and the voice of each of them is better than that of the singing bird in the Tianfu tea garden.

On the second day of the beginning of summer during Chinese New Year, Mr. Lin, who works in Changguan, came back from his hometown in Changzhou, Jiangsu for vacation, and brought him a starling.This starling has a round belly, thick legs and hard claws, a black body, and a golden mouth; when he screams, he can hear it clearly even standing on the street.He Daotai said happily in his heart: "The voice of the rooster is not as loud as it." Mr. Lin said with a smile: "It's almost like imitating people's speech. It's always hard to learn. No matter how you teach it, you can't teach it well, but sometimes if you don't pay attention, you will learn it for him. However, once it is in your hands, it will definitely be successful. .”

He Daotai also laughed.Said: "After three months, I'll make it able to speak fast-track books." However, this starling is like a strong horse, which is extremely difficult to tame for a while.He Daotai tried his best, but it couldn't learn it.He Daotai scolded it: "Stupid bird." The next day it called "Stupid Bird".Tell it to stop talking, but it doesn't stop.I could hear clearly in the front yard and the back yard, and I couldn't sleep in the afternoon nap.He Daotai covered the cage tightly with a cover for a long time before it stopped barking.In the evening, the wife was afraid of suffocating it, so she asked the maid to take off the cover. As soon as it showed up, it said to the wife, "Madam has a prickly heat?" which shocked the wife.Thinking again, isn't this what the master said to her a few days ago, and she learned it by accident.It made my wife giggle for a long time.When He Daotai came back, he told the master.Before she could call mynah to say it again, mynah said by himself: "My wife has prickly heat!"

He Daotai grinned amusedly, and said, "This thing even imitates my voice." The wife said: "I didn't expect this bad thing to be so smart." Since then, He Daotai has taken special care of it.After a long time, it has learned a few words such as "Greetings to the adults", "Please take a seat", "You are gone", and so on, but it is not easy to say.However, it took a cold breath to say a few words like "get prickly heat" that the old lady usually said, which made the guests laugh out loud, and they were rocking back and forth with laughter.

The magistrate said: "Master He, you can tell how smart you are from it." He Daotai was proud of the bird, and even more proud of himself.Let's not mention this for now. On the ninth day of September, the Yuhuang Pavilion outside the east city is called "Zanjiu", and the people of Jinmen go to climb the pavilion as usual, commonly known as Jiujiu Climbing High.At this time, the sky is high and the air is refreshing. When you climb up and look at it, you feel comfortable and there are no barriers.Yulu, the governor of Zhili, also came to the Yuhuang Pavilion that day, and he was very interested. He climbed up the narrow and steep stairs to the Qingxu Pavilion on the top.All the civil and military officials who came with him ran back and forth to cheer him up.He Dao Terrace is naturally among them.He pointed to the shadows of sails coming and going at the mouth of the Sancha River, and said some interesting words, which made Mr. Yulu's heart blossom.Coming down from the pavilion, He Daotai said that his home is not far away, and he hoped that your lord would show favor and come to his house for a sit down.Master Yu would never condescend to visit his subordinates' homes on weekdays.But today I was so excited that I agreed.The sedan chair of He Daotai cleared the way in front, and the other officials followed around, riding a dragon and a tiger.

The starling cage of He Dao Terrace is hung in front of the living room window, and as soon as Master Yu enters the door, it calls out, "Greetings, Your Excellency." The voice is loud and clear, and it reaches Yu Lu's ears. Master Yu became more and more elated, and said, "This thing is actually smarter than a human being." He Daotai responded and said: "It's not because the adults are here. No matter how you call it, it won't say it." When the tea was served, myna suddenly called out again: "This tea is Mingqian tea." Master Yu was startled, turned to the starling in the cage and said, "It's your fault. What time is it now? How can there be Mingqian tea?"

The boss jokes, and the subordinate laughs.Laughter filled the living room, and they all laughed at the starling for being a fool. He Daotai said: "My lord really hit the point. In fact, I didn't teach this sentence. This thing always pops up a sentence from time to time. I don't know where it came from." The magistrate smiled and said: "It's not that the speaker has no intentions and the listener has intentions. I think Mr. He always drinks good tea, and he has memorized all the names of the tea!" Yu Lu smiled and said, "If you have any good tea, please ask Yu Lu to taste it."

Everyone laughed again.But the starling heard the word "Yulu", suddenly his wings fluttered, and he got up with his black hair all over his body. He was so angry that he shouted loudly and loudly, "You bastard Yulu!" Everyone in the hall was stunned.In fact, everyone heard this sentence, and at a moment of shock, the starling said it again: "Yu Lu, that bastard!" He said it clearly and simply.Yu Lu suddenly flicked his hand, knocked all the tea bowls on the table to the ground, and shouted angrily: "It's too presumptuous!" He Daotai hurriedly lay down on the ground, his voice trembling so hard that he could hardly hear it: "I didn't teach it——" The words got stuck here.It occurred to him that the words of the starling were exactly what he said every time he came back after being embarrassed by Yulu.How did it remember it?Isn't this killing him?He was cold all over.

When he understood, Yulu and all the officials had already left.He was alone lying on the floor of the living room, but he suddenly jumped up and rushed towards the starling, yelling, "You ruined me! I tore you up, you dead bird!" He grabbed the cage with both hands and pulled it, the force was too great, the cage was torn apart, the bird flew out, and he didn't catch it.The starling flew out of the window and landed on the tree.He actually learned what He Daotai said just now, and shouted at him: "Dead bird!" He Daotai asked the servants to beat them with poles, chop them with bricks, and climb up the tree to grab them. Mynah jumped back and forth on the top of the tree for a while, and kept calling: "Dead bird! Dead bird! Dead bird!" Finally, he flapped his wings and took off. Go, and soon disappear without a trace. Since then, He Daotai has been nicknamed "Dead Bird".And when people pass on this nickname, they always have this story attached.