Chapter 68 Hollow Horror—Brilliant Revisited

——Interpretation of "Rural Teacher" Rural Old Teachers—Conscience of Art, Artistic Self of the Descriptor The describer (businessman) - the medium between art and reality, the writer in reality, the incarnation of some kind of shame, some kind of self-criticism, the loser who tries to describe the indescribable ultimate truth; duality of description Scholar - reason, principle The public - the everyday self The village - the place where artists stay Cities – reality; places where communication takes place Accompanying the Mouse——The highest artistic conception, the ultimate truth

The profound misgivings that arise during the description process are determined by the nature of art itself. The old rural teacher has devoted his whole life to insisting on an illusory truth that only exists in legends.That truth has been almost forgotten, but it has not disappeared; it is recorded in pamphlets written by teachers.The old teacher was so convinced of the correctness of his record that he would tolerate no interpretation that departed from his point of view; sometimes it seemed as if he did not want his record to be defended by anyone (which it did not).But deep inside he had a contradiction: he wanted to prove the real existence of the Drum Rat, and to persuade everyone not to have any doubts about it, and he had never seen the Drum Rat himself.Due to the lack of credible basis for his records and the indifference and disapproval of the general public, the old teacher retired to a remote corner of the backcountry and lived a lonely and desolate life.The teacher is a very stubborn guy, he waits in that isolated place every day.Just come across someone who is interested in his pamphlets.Such as this describer who has been dazzled by enthusiasm), he will jump out to re-state his beliefs and criticize others' disloyal and incomplete descriptions.In this regard, he is always surprisingly sensitive, full of insight, and can hit the opponent's vitals.His pain lies only in the fact that he himself has not seen the monster, so the spear of criticism is often turned on himself again, and in the end he is powerless again.With such a deep inner conflict, did the old rural teacher give up teaching others?No, he still stays beside the describer as a kind of disgusting existence, seeming to lure him to continue describing, but actually setting up obstacles everywhere, making it difficult to carry out the work of describing.And deep down, he hoped that the describer would continue his work.What is he going to do?To achieve what purpose?No one can guess his complicated psychology.

The describer "I" was tempted to participate in the old teacher's description, and wrote his own booklet - the description of the description.In the process of his description, the old village teacher kept beating him out of inner anger and dissatisfaction, mocking him, and making his description worthless.And the describer, who realized the hint of truth from the teacher's words, tried hard to modify his work attitude to cater to the teacher and reduce the pressure of his own work.Sometimes, he also points out the teacher's fatal contradiction, but this does not prove his own wisdom, because the teacher's contradiction is also his contradiction.How should his description be correct?The old rural teachers themselves couldn't tell.He only knew that the describer's description did not directly confirm the big field mouse, but only indirectly defended the existence of the big drum mouse in the form of defending the country teacher; Career loyalty, etc., want to use this as evidence, which makes the old teacher very angry.But the old teacher had never seen a rolling mouse!Because of this unchangeable premise, the describer's description immediately reveals superficial, superficial, and even hypocritical factors; these factors make the old rural teacher even more desperate and distressed.He constantly accused the describer, saying that his description was not good at all, but a bad thing; he said that he attracted the public's attention again, but did not make them feel trustworthy; Described in order to snatch his honor.The describer carried a heavy burden, and unconsciously, he turned from defending the old teacher to expressing himself.Once the lengthy confession begins, he finds it impossible to describe his motives as pure. The purity he tries to achieve is just a dream; Things that cannot be cleared up.Under the old teacher's penetrating eyes, he could only continue to defend himself, and those defenses could never convince the old teacher.

The relationship between the describer and the old teacher is the embodiment of the contradictions contained in art itself.Since the object of description is the indescribable, the description loses its credibility in the worldly sense.However dissatisfied the old village teacher may be with the describer, he will never be able to point him to a correct and direct path; and his own description is only a symbol, an abstract belief that loses its connection with the concrete. basis.In this sense, he is also impure, and he should not have the idea of ​​describing it in the first place if he wants to be pure.Yet the behavior described took place through both of them after all, and will continue through the professor's students and others.This combination of purity and impurity is going on against the will of the old village teacher.But who can be sure?Perhaps this is the secret wish of the old teacher?Wasn't he the one who described something unproven in the first place, and hoped to convince everyone with it?He had dreamed of being supported by people!Even if he quickly dispelled that dream, it does not show that he is completely pure.The describer also knows all this, he admires the old teacher's acuity, and always relies on his acuity to adjust his description direction; but the existence of the old teacher disgusts him, because his existence is a kind of negation of his work .The problem is that without the old teacher, he can't continue to describe; his impulse, the object of his defense, don't they all come from the old teacher?So he had no choice but to live in peace with this person who disgusted him, and continue to do the unsure work.Sometimes the describer also thought about verifying his own work; at this time, he thought of asking the professor to send a student to review the investigation report written by the old teacher and him, and then write another report.Of course, the student's report itself is difficult to verify, but it can reassure the describer to a certain extent.This reminds us of the essence of art and how people use one art to evaluate another art.

Why Descriptors Defend Rural Old Teachers The motive of the describer's defense is not from the outset, but from a certain passion, indignation, and ideal.In other words, the image of an old rural teacher moved him, making him want to call for him as his lifelong career.It was a lonely path, not only not understood, but not approved by the old teacher himself.The old teacher was skeptical or even negative about his defense; he believed that the description's defense did not bring him close to the truth at all, but instead made him fall into the predicament of being misunderstood by everyone. His original intention was wrong from the beginning.It's not that the describer doesn't understand all this, but he can only do so, otherwise what else?He had never seen a drum-rat, and he could think of no better defense than to defend it indirectly by defending the old teacher.Knowing that it is a matter with no hope of progress and no effect, the describer still wants to continue, and expects this matter to attract the attention of other people, so as to expand its influence. This is by no means out of ignorance, but out of brain It is exceptionally clear, and it is a deliberate and expedient measure that has thought through all aspects of the relationship.Because this describer has a natural admiration and yearning for eternal things and miracles.Ever since he heard about the old teacher, he felt that his destiny and career were inseparable from him, and he voluntarily got involved in the conflicting spiritual realm of the old teacher.He tried to use his pen to realize the old teacher's unrealizable wish. From his point of view, the result was of course a failure.

The cause of defense, by its very nature, can only wander around the periphery of the core; the light emanating from the core is so strong that no one can enter.It is precisely because no one can enter that there are people who make a career out of description. The old teacher's dissatisfaction with the describer is dissatisfaction with himself.This dissatisfaction infects the describer, on the one hand, it makes him have the urge to get rid of him, and on the other hand, it makes him want to integrate more closely with him, so that he can devote himself more thoroughly to the cause of description.The accusation of the old teacher will only intensify with the deepening of the description, and the accusation often becomes a stimulus and a driving force for a new round of defense.Of course, this defense is fundamentally untenable, it is only supported by the passion of life.The describer is passionate, full of sense of justice and lofty dreams, he chooses a desperate career, he knows very well that there will be no day of relief.It may well be surmised that his retreat under such circumstances was only temporary, and was due to the extreme anguish of his heart.The annoying old man who sat in his house had always been, and would always be, the closest thing to him; and their two-in-one union must last to the end.Because he was the only one among all living beings, this daring guy, who dared to stand up and speak for the old teacher, and published what he said (although the old teacher was not satisfied), this is by no means a coincidence.From his description of the fate of the old teacher (as well as himself), we can see that he has long had that deep pessimistic understanding, seeing the end from the beginning of the matter; he is convinced that thorough communication is impossible , the reality barrier is insurmountable, everything is in vain.So why bother with this annoying old teacher?It seems that his character has a natural inclination towards a saint. He always regards sacrifice as a kind of satisfaction, and is willing to use his own flesh and blood to pave the way to eternity.

For the describer, the old rural teacher is his spiritual father; without him, all his descriptions would be impossible.This old man who lived in a remote village provided him with a standard by which to measure his own description; the unattainable standard of that standard often made him extremely discouraged and gave him the idea of ​​​​giving up entirely.At the same time, the existence of the old man reminded him that it is impossible to give up, and that only following to the end is the only way out.Therefore, all the describer can do is to constantly criticize himself. After the criticism, he constantly finds new reasons for defense, constantly comprehends the old man's intentions from the fragmented reasons, and immerses with the old man in the endless understanding of the giant. In the distant imagination.

June 16, 1998, Yingcai Garden