Chapter 55 The castle of the soul - the landscape when the vitality explodes
After K arrived in the village, he wanted to connect with the castle, but everyone rejected his idea. The peasants harassed him, and two assistants irritated him. The answer he got was: "Not tomorrow, not anytime." ” Angrily, K snatched the microphone and talked to the castle in person while surrounded by the crowd, so this happened:
From the receiver came a hum that K had never heard before on the phone.It sounded like out of a great commotion of children--but the hum was not really a hum, it was singing from far away, from far, far away--like It was from this hum that magically and inconceivably evolved a single, high-pitched forte that slammed into his eardrums, as if it were urging to penetrate deep into the body rather than just touch it. Like a poor auditory organ.
What a strong suggestion this is, not through words, but through a physiological response.Under this irresistible force, K's body boiled, and he felt that the people around him were unbearable, so he couldn't help but shouted "Go away!" The strong voice of life immediately When it reached the castle, someone answered the phone right away.The speaker was stern and haughty, arousing K with a more aggressive manner.Then K. turned his countryman's brains to the clever trick of lying, pretending to be the land surveyor's assistant.His resistance worked, and the other party verbally acknowledged his identity.But when he wanted to get more things, the other party rejected his request again.It is also a rejection, but the former one is quite different from the latter one.The castle not only wanted to test him, but also squeezed him with force, "penetrating deeply into the human body", but his performance did not disappoint the castle.So after going through this, the farmers were satisfied with the result of the conversation and gradually backed away from him.The ugly explorer moved forward, and the castle sent a messenger Barnabas to contact him.
Barnabas was full of the atmosphere of the castle, and the blood in K's body flowed faster, as if the gate of the castle was right in front of him.After a picturesque journey with the young man, K regretted that he had been deceived. Has K been deceived?It should be said that K has been lying to himself, and the temptation of Barnabas was a good enlightenment for K. After he let K experience the kind of purposeless freedom, he brought K to his home and brought him to the human world. The root of life, let him see the truth.He was a personable initiate.Of course, while doing this, he also angered K, and this anger is also part of his writing. After being furious, K betrayed him without hesitation, and threw himself into Frida's embrace. So far, Barnabas' mission has been temporarily completed.What happened to K later, the passionate love between him and Frieda, also had something to do with Barnabas.Behold the love spectacle of this repressed outburst: …
Her thin body was as hot as a ball of fire under the touch of K's hands. They were intoxicated in the carnival of love and rolled on the ground unconsciously. K kept struggling, trying to get out of this intoxicated state. Freed, but completely in vain... But during this period of time, K has always had a strange feeling, feeling that he has lost his way and wandered around, or that he has come to a remote corner of the world that has not been visited before him. It is also very different from my hometown. If you stay here, you will be suffocated due to the unfamiliarity of the earth. In the face of its various absurd and absurd temptations, you have no choice but to keep walking and keep going astray.
What K's love achieves is the highest level of pure experience. It reaches the end of life and is directly connected with death; The light of God blinds man, who has no choice but to obey.Of course, people can only experience this artistic conception for a short time, and no one can be a frequent visitor to heaven, because people live in the world.Is it the revelation of the strong voice that "penetrates deeply into the human body", or Barnabas's induction of enlightenment, or the stimulation of the skulls of the peasants who have been flattened by reality, brought K to (forced) this kind of artistic conception?It should be said that it is the combined effect of all these.External influences lead to unceasing impulses in K's body, which explode into such a scene.Even the calm castle will have a surprised expression, of course, that expression is also invisible to K, because it is covered by heavy clouds and fog.It can be said that Kram's promise to K in the letter was quickly realized. After experiencing such a love that is almost like a fairyland, what is there for K to be dissatisfied with?So Kramm said: "To satisfy my subordinates is really what I look forward to.".But don't think that love is the purpose of the castle, it's not at all, love is just a means to take K on the road. After K fell in love with Frieda, he thought he was one step closer to the castle, but he didn't expect it to be farther.He got nothing, everything had to be started all over again, even more difficult than starting all over again, this is the fruit of his hopeless love.But this view is only a secular point of view from K's side.In the place of the castle, there is no absolute standard of judgment. A good thing is a bad thing, and a bad thing is also a good thing.The only thing that the castle cares about is whether K is walking on the "right way". That kind of care and consideration permeates the air K breathes, and strong hints are everywhere, and K can comprehend it without thinking at all.
Frieda and her two assistants immediately became the new oppressors in K's life, and they made things difficult for him at every turn.Frieda also teamed up with the proprietress to laugh at K's plan, but the proprietress compared K to a grass snake crawling around the ground, Klamm to an eagle, and said that K's desire to see Klamm was nothing but a daydream. In a fit of exasperation, K said things like "A newborn calf is not afraid of a tiger" and "An ignorant person seems to be able to do anything", and ran to the village chief's house. Ask him to cancel all plans, and treat him as a prisoner who is serving outside the prison.He went back to the proprietress, and the proprietress gave him some education on the living situation based on her own experience. K finally realized something, he stopped being reckless, and in a reluctant mood, Frieda encouraged him to accept the job of school handyman.This is by no means to say that he changed his original intention, he just became more flexible, and the temporary compromise is to better advance towards the goal.Once a loophole is found, this is what happens:
"Do you know where I'm going now?" asked K. "Yes," Frieda said. "So you don't stop me anymore?" asked K. "You will encounter many obstacles, what's the use of my words?"
K embarked on the journey alone.
What a few glorious hours it was! K. the "newborn calf" jumped into the warm sleigh of the castle master and stole the master's brandy to drink! There is nothing he can't do. His rebellion (brandy when the master arrives) still tick-tocking on the pedal.) Making it even more impossible for him to see Klamm, the master said firmly to him: "You're going to miss him anyway, it's the same as walking. "K still didn't leave, and he stood up for a while, making his experience of freedom even higher. The young master left, the horse was harnessed and led back to the stable, and finally the coachman locked himself in the stable, After turning off all the lights, no one will know that there is still a dazed K standing in the snow in the dark yard. K should try his best to experience it, and he can be as free as he wants. But this kind of freedom does not exist. People can bear it for a long time, so he moved his steps again soon. Not long after he left his post, Kram also set off to leave, just in response to the master's words. It seems that K's performance during this period is very satisfactory to Kramm, and everything is in order. The castle was running normally, so he wrote the Th letter to K.
"...I am very satisfied with the land surveying work you have done so far. Don't slack off, sir! And please start and finish all the work, I will be very unhappy if I stop working. Also, please rest assured that the payment problem is coming soon I will continue to monitor your situation."
Klamm, a great philosopher with profound thoughts, sincerely appreciates K's personality displayed again and again, because K's actions are a living proof of his philosophy, and everything K does makes him feel true. It hurts too much!But he is a ruthless old man, he will never relax the pressure because of this, he wants to touch the iron ring in his hand even tighter, torturing K is his pleasure, and the constant squeezing will make K explode better.Are not the relations thus far between him and K. two aspects of the greatest human enterprise?It is his thoughts and K's actions that jointly constitute this cause, and the two are indispensable, so they must be closely related to make the cause develop towards glory.This letter H is both an encouragement and a spur to K, and he also expected that K would accept his urging in his own unique way, so as to create unprecedented prospects together with him. How did K react to the letter? "It was a misunderstanding," said K. He was in a dark mood. K can only react in this way, because he is not a philosopher and can only see parts.This reaction is exactly the kind of reaction Klamm needs. K must continue to conflict with the environment in the "misunderstanding", and the "misunderstanding" will continue to provide opportunities for conflict to this outsider.The letter also mentioned the issue of remuneration, saying that "it will be resolved soon."What is K's reward, but is it not the new hope that arises from his self-reliance after each conflict?Don't worry about K. Although K, who lights his own path, is blind, behind him stands the great Klamm.
Kramm's letter really became an opportunity for K's next round of conflict. K. dictates a long letter to Barnabas, speaking of the "truth" of his situation, of the urgency of meeting Klamm, since a fatal misunderstanding must be cleared up. "At the moment, he is looking forward to the decision of the chief with great fear and anxiety."The messenger Barnabas promised to bring him the message, but K was worried about him, so he asked Barnabas to make a request of him, so as to restrain this absent-minded guy.Barnabas did not make a request, but mentioned his two sisters, implying their relationship with the castle, and K was immediately attracted to him, thinking about how to use the three of them.At this time, he wanted to go to Barnabas' house as soon as possible to wait for news, but the situation in his own house was not optimistic.First, he was fired from the school, and then he fired two assistants on his own initiative in a fit of anger, which completely offended Frieda.The whole incident looked like a collective conspiracy, and only K himself was everyone's prey.We see K obediently slipping into the net, and he himself thinks that he is breaking out (perhaps he is breaking out?).The little boy Hans who appeared later was even more of a conspiracy participant with a ulterior motive, and it was he who made Frieda find an excuse for a complete break with K.Although the family situation was a mess, K's hands and feet could not be tied, of course, he was so suffocated that he would go crazy, even if he betrayed Frieda, no one could stop him.At last he took a chance and ran to Barnabas's house, where he threw open the door and yelled.He resolved to wait here for a message from Klamm.What is he waiting for?What he was waiting for was Olga's long, incisive and moving analysis of "truth", which was the knowledge he really needed to master. Of course, this knowledge K could only accept passively and unconsciously.In any case, Olga's tear-jerking enlightenment report is bound to "drill deeply" into K's body, just like the buzzing and straightest voice K heard from the phone when he first entered the castle.If K thought that Olga's inspirational report was to tell him to give up struggling, then he was very wrong. Of course K would not make such a childish mistake, his instinct would never deceive him.The core of Olga's report is not to give up, that is, don't give up no matter how dangerous the situation is, even if you deceive, argue, deceive, even if you do all kinds of bad things, and don't give up even if you offend everyone around you .The dumbfounded K instinctively understood what Olga had taught him, and he stated that although the letter from Barnabas was not his only hope, he never wanted to give up this little hope. Acting on this information without forgetting Olga, because it could be said that Olga herself, her courage, her thoughtfulness, her intelligence, her sacrifice for the family, meant more to him than those letters. These selfish and a little exaggerated words are still K's sincere words. His description of Olga is actually a description of himself, but he does not realize it.The fact that he was able to say these words still shows that he has already sensed all this in his subconscious mind.From now on, he will be as indomitable as Olga, "Fa Meng, go to cheat" and "do all the bad things". The cause he faces requires a brave and fearless spirit. Sure enough, soon, Ba Nabas was about to bring him the great news—a direct meeting with the castle officials. What would happen then? Would K, who had gone through so many trials, panic?
Intuition and instinct are always above all else.In the labyrinth-like hotel rooms, all rational judgments and analyzes have lost their reference. If people don't want to return to despair, they can only rush forward by instinct.K, who has performed outstandingly many times, is no exception this time, not to mention the suggestive urging of Secretary Moms: "Go forward! Go forward!" With everything lost, he broke into the room of official Biggle in a state of exhaustion.It was already midnight at this time, K's energy was almost exhausted, he was about to die of sleepiness, but the time to finally test him had come.Didn't he keep seeing officials?Now it's hand to hand!This strange interview was not only a contest of will, but also a cooperation that proved logic with actions. The foreigner chosen by the castle fulfilled all expectations, and human vitality created a magnificent landscape in which all the impossible became reality. Undeniable existence, great success in the cause of saving souls.More importantly, K is not dead, everything happened in his living experience.Klamm, Klamm, you old fox who has lived for thousands of years, how did you foresee all this in advance!With what self-confidence did you lure this outlander to the castle village, and make him dance vigorously in your tight network!Your mind is all-encompassing, your body is lifeless and rigid, but your disability doesn't hinder your plans.Is everything you can think of, and foreigners can realize it for you?
K won a brilliant victory, how was the victory achieved?Listen to Biggle's words:
"You don't have to apologize to me for your sleepiness. Why do you have to apologize? Human physical strength has a certain limit; but it is precisely this limit that can play a very important role at any time. Who can control this? No No one can do anything about it. This is how the world keeps adjusting and correcting itself to maintain balance. This is indeed a very ingenious arrangement that is so ingenious that it is unimaginable again and again, although it is a bit sad from another perspective. "
Indeed, how wonderful is the Creator's arrangement.Man cannot get rid of reason, but he can overcome it and surpass it, especially in the middle of the night when reason is powerless and "sleepy", when man's physical strength is at the limit.At that time, the explosion of human beings was the highest explosion. Humans kept breaking free from the gravity of the earth and flying freely in the air. No one could stop this absurd flying, this kind of showing off in the clouds.The astonishing act of the demon-possessed K pushes the spiritual exploration to the edge of the cliff, and the unprecedented scenery is presented before our eyes.But why is it all a little sad?Sadness is the flaw of life itself.No matter what kind of flight K takes, he can't finally get rid of the gravity of the earth; no matter how he struggles, the essence of K's situation remains the same; no matter how he collides, the gate of the castle is still closed to K.There is also a sad thing: people under the control of sober reason can never play freely, and only when people enter the half-asleep obsessed state can they start the fatal flight; so when people deliberately experience , what I experience can only be suffering and sinking.All the experiences of freedom are old memories, people didn't know it at the time, at least not fully aware of it, this is the artist's eternal sorrow. Did K win? K is victorious.He broke into the forbidden area and joined the emissary from the castle.At the same time he failed completely.He misses the opportunity to live on with Frieda and to strengthen his connection to the Castle through her;This time the adventure did not bring him any gains, and the castle's refusal was more cruel and decisive.The temporary family no longer exists, and he can only go to the maid's basement for temporary shelter, and he can't be found.This is what happens to strugglers.But who can say for sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing?In the face of unpredictable fate, K has long learned not to jump to conclusions, and everything has to wait and see.
The young maid who accepted K, Peibi, told the truth of what happened to K with her own more unfortunate experience than K, that is, the feet of people who want to go to heaven will always be stuck in the mud .Her sympathy with K. does not prevent her wise optimism, she is a quick cat who can see what she wants to see in the dark.With a very seductive voice, she kept urging the desperate K: "Come on, hey, go, come to us!" oK himself is more desperate than when he first entered the castle, or is he the same as before? ?Did what he learned from his opponents endow him with the worldliness of a castle subject?Of course we have already seen that he is still the same K. He can never learn the sophistication of the castle subjects; voluntary suffering is not in line with his nature, he loves to enjoy life too much, this is from his love with Frieda, from He went to steal wine and drink in the sleigh, which was fully reflected in his vulgar taste for women.But something has changed in him, how quickly he forgets his frustrations, how quickly he takes a new interest in women!Chubby, curly-haired Pebby and another proprietress in a peculiar dress are both attractive to him, not to mention they are full of castle mysteries.Why be depressed?It doesn't make sense at all, it should be said that life is too short!Of course, when thinking this way, one should not have unrealistic hopes, but one should always think about what Pebby said:
"Our winter is very long here, the old ones are long, and it's very monotonous and boring. But we never complain when we stay down there, it's safe there, and winter can't do anything to us. Besides, spring and summer always come, and They may not pass quickly; but in our memory, looking back now, spring and summer seem to be very short, as if the two seasons add up to only a little more than two days, and it is only two or three days Time, even on the sunniest day, it still snows sometimes."
This is exactly what every struggler feels in his heart, and this is also the best summary of K's experience in Castle Village.There is no satisfaction, only longing, which is an inevitable process for an artist.
An artist's journey consists of a succession of bursts.Of course, the outbreak did not happen for no reason, but was triggered by strong suppression. If you think about it carefully, isn't the suppression based on his own, the castle's settings?The poet is doomed to survive in depression, and the way to survive is to burst out again and again.The dark clouds on the castle hill can never restrain people's impulse, because it is just a bluff, the original intention of the castle and K have always been the same.It is K's own desire to manifest in such a twists and turns that the castle and its complex design come into being.This is the defect of human beings, and people should be sad about it, and they should also marvel at it: how transparent and agile is the spiritual building that has never been revealed!It seems to come from inhuman hands, but it is obviously built with earthly bricks; every baptism it experiences is the eruption of the inner volcano experienced by the poet.
April 18, 1998, Yingcai Garden