Chapter 13 Chapter 12 The Scream of the Bed

It is said that the sound that people hear is actually an illusion, and there is no absolute connection between the thing that produces the sound and the thing that hears the sound.If there is no heart, no desire to fantasize, then all the ears in the world are blank. In fact, it is our own skin that screams, and that voice recedes back into ourselves, disappearing within us. The last summer vacation of my middle school period can be said to be the two months with the most major events and the most dense life in my entire school days. The summer of this year was the rainy July. For a long time, the endless exams like this unstoppable rain made my patience reach the limit.I demanded that I fight to the death, and in a bewilderment, like a nightmare, I passed the college entrance examination and was admitted to a liberal arts university in Beijing.

I remember that every time I finished a subject, I tore up the textbooks of this subject, which I recited like scriptures and memorized them backwards, and threw them into the cesspit of the toilet in the examination room, flushed away with the stool, and never brought them home again. .By the end of the whole exam, I was as light as a beggar, and I didn't even have the extra weight of a typeface on my body. The next thing was that my parents agreed to a divorce in the most concealed and "civilized" way.My father displayed extraordinary manliness in this pivotal family history event, leaving the battlefield like a first-class combat hero (except that this is a special battlefield where there is no winner or loser), in a torrential rain. In the early morning, he pulled up his trousers, put on his glasses, picked up his briefcase, and left home, very tragic.

His complete departure finally made me stand like a grown woman on the ruins of this civilized battlefield. it's here.I don't want to tell the story of this family's ruin because it doesn't matter.The important thing is that everyone who struggled to climb out of the ruins of this family, their belief in the family has completely collapsed.Both my mother and I became skeptics of married life—the wonderful way most people would agree. In China in the early 1980s, it was indeed difficult to find people like me who longed for their biological parents to get rid of their unhappy marriages, but I never felt guilty or uneasy about it.On the contrary, I always thought of myself as a staunch supporter and promoter of my father's "freedom and liberation movement".At the same time, I never attribute all my doubts and denials about the world to the quagmire of this ruined family like some outmoded ideas.

I never believed that the family alone could endow an individual with such a powerful ability to deny. Not long after my father left home, the demolition order for the houses in our area was officially issued.We got two new houses in a residential area in the west of the city. Fortunately, He also moved to the same building as my house, living downstairs with me.It's simply fate. The Ge family man in the front yard has disappeared since his wife was killed, and their house was taken over by his daughter's family, who also moved to our building. On that day, my mother and He came to see our new house. The whole building had just been completed, and the empty gray building stood up in front of the dirty construction site. The naked men were exposed in broad daylight, listless and evasive, so that we turned left and right, and finally found the passage leading to the gate.

Before the elevator started, we walked up the narrow and gentle stairs. After walking countless spiral steps, my mother and I finally stood in front of a three-bedroom house at the end of the eleventh-floor corridor. What a hopelessly empty gray door this is!We stopped and breathed, and there was a swaying light on the left side of the door. The light came from a patio-like ventilation hole at the top corner, and there was an iron fence separating it from the outside.At this time, I seemed to hear a strange sound from the crack of the door, maybe it was the dry cry from the airflow in the water pipe or the heating pipe, the sound was like continuous coughing, coming out of the underworld.I put my ear against the doorknob and listened carefully, but the sound disappeared again.

This is my mother's room, and my own room is at the other end of the corridor.From the very beginning, there was a cold and ominous premonition that came out from the crack of my mother's door and climbed up my face. From the gray door that made me daunted, I vaguely felt something similar to it. Death related stuff.This unreasonable premonition made me hesitate to open the iron door for my mother, as if once the door was opened, it would open a catastrophe. Sure enough, this premonition came true a few years later. This is a hot and long summer, and the daytime is like a dead-faced steamed bun, which is so long that it needs to be steamed in a steamer for a long time.I opened all the windows in the room, and it was very noisy outside, and the diagonally opposite sides of the building where my house was was being constructed again, and new residential buildings were being built.Looking out of my window, I could see the scaffolding on the construction site, as unreal as toy blocks.I stood leaning against the window, thinking that before long, the building diagonally opposite would also be filled with crowds. The crowds were placed in different squares divided by the walls, living unreal lives.

I turned around and looked at my room. The light blue at the bottom of the wall looked back at me like a peaceful gaze. The hall, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom all told me that this is a home where I can rest in peace. Gone forever, the relationship between furniture and furniture, walls and walls in the room will no longer be tense and confused because of the characters shuttling between them. I have always longed for a separate house, because this is the premise for a person to be able to carry out inner growth. My mother is in the room at the other end of the corridor, repairing the invisible "wound" left by her nearly twenty years of married life, and He lives downstairs, lying on her tender bed. Resting on the big bed, I-knock on the drain pipe in my room, and she can hear it and communicate with me.Even our unique silent conversation can permeate and pass between us through the limestone slabs between floors.My family and friends are close at hand, and I feel peace and comfort like never before.

One evening.Suddenly an uninvited guest appeared in front of my new house. At first I thought it was He who was looking for me, but when I heard the doorbell ring, I opened the door in slippers and a thigh-length cotton vest. The moment I opened the door, I almost froze. I saw Mr. T standing outside the door well-dressed, handsome and tall, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hands, his bright eyes showed a kind of confusion, but he tried his best to put on a stiff smile on his face. Two months before the college entrance examination, students did not go to school, and we all hid in our homes to prepare for the exam.From then to now, I have not seen him for more than three months.

The sudden arrival of T made me extremely flustered, especially the bouquet of flowers, which surprised me.I was confused for a while, not knowing what to do.I only felt a cold air flow in my body, reaching my fingertips, and my fingers immediately turned into stiff ice bars. Over the years, there seems to have been some kind of subtle entanglement or relationship between Mr. T and me.However, that invisible thing is always like a ball on the water being forced into the water and lurking, so that I can't see its existence clearly.Perhaps it was this ambiguity and invisibility that annoyed him so much that he was sometimes rude and contemptuous of me, and sometimes he was hypocritically caring and considerate to me.

For many years we have been immersed in a relationship of friction, opposition and even hostility. I was vaguely aware, with feminine intuition, that this antagonism or hostility over the years was perhaps most attributable to some latent, inexplicable danger which had always existed secretly between us, though I could not see it clearly. it.So I always instinctively avoid and alienate him. At this time, after I had already left him, he suddenly appeared in my line of sight again, which made me open the door, as if nailing the closed door between us again, making me Caught off guard. I was surprised at the door for a while, then stepped aside to invite him in, while pulling down my vest uncomfortably.

T said, "I'm here to congratulate you." I was so embarrassed that my face was hot, and all the sentences disappeared from my lips for a moment. It wasn't until T walked into the living room that I finally managed to say, "Sit." T repeated, "I'm here to congratulate you!" The stiff smile on his face seemed to relax a bit. I was embarrassed and said indifferently, "Congratulations for what?" "All of it," he said. T sat on the sofa, saw that I didn't take the initiative to pick up the bouquet of flowers, so he put it casually on the wooden coffee table in front of the sofa.I also sat down on the chair opposite him. He said something here and there, without the chic and calmness on the podium in the past, I responded indiscriminately, not knowing what I was talking about. After sitting for a while, I still felt very uncomfortable because almost my entire thigh was exposed and exposed, which made me very uneasy. I finally worked up the courage, stood up, and said, "I'm going to get dressed. That's it." "No, you are very good," he paused, and then said, "Your legs are thin and straight, very beautiful." T said, standing up involuntarily, as if to block me, for fear of I left to change clothes. I hesitated for a moment, but insisted on going to another house to change. When I just took off the vest, before I could change into the dress on the hanger, Fang Wen was pushed away with a squeak. T stood outside the door, short of breath, with a desperate expression, two lines of tears burst out from his eye holes, his tall frame was like a stone tablet that was about to collapse, and it was about to fall down. I was so overwhelmed with astonishment that I couldn't speak. T staggered towards me and hugged me without saying a word. In his tight embrace, I whispered urgently, "Don't do this, don't do this".While angrily twisting his body to break free.However, his arms were like shackles, getting tighter and tighter. His body was hot like a furnace, covering my limbs.He called out in a low voice, "Aoao, Aoao, please, let me be next to you." His voice was distorted and out of shape due to excessive tension. "No, I don't like you." I tried to break away from his body again. "I have always, always, loved you, really, stubbornly." His lips trembled so much that he could hardly speak fully. "Lie!" I immediately became angry, "I've always hated you!" I was panting as I struggled to break free. T's tears fell on my shoulders like raindrops, he couldn't speak, he just hugged me more tightly, his crotch was firmly attached to my waist, twisting in painful convulsions move. I stared at him with a kind of hostile tension, and saw his usual arrogant face, as pale as a woman's, the sadness and desire in his eyes, like an unstoppable and dangerous light, from Every pore on his skin jumped out, and his tall, masculine body seemed to have turned into a heap of heavy waste, collapsing on my shoulders. This reminded me of the scene on the camp bed in Yi Qiu's house, and the sudden burst of lightning between Xi Dawang's legs. I got a little scared. His rapid and heavy breathing revealed the longing and distress in his heart. That lustful expression seemed to hide a deep pain. At this time, he squeezed my shoulders tightly, and murmured intermittently, "Yaoao, you are a charming girl, do you know that? Everything that comes out of your body and your expression is everything. There is a special charm, you are like a strange garden, full of unusual flowers and plants, it has always troubled me, tormented me, why can't you see it..." I felt a pain in my shoulder from his grip.Tears trickled down his face and he let out an uncontrollable whimper. This is the first compliment I've ever heard from a man.It astounds me that this compliment comes from someone I've been hostile to for years. After I experienced a lot of things later, I discovered that women (including myself at the time) are the most easily moved by compliments. Praise is a wonderful weapon that can make them lose their judgment and coordinates. Let them decline in intelligence and degenerate into a simple and ignorant child, or even a maternal animal. They bow their heads and ears, and are willing to become captives, trophies and slaves of the praisers.Only the most mature women can keep calm and sober in front of this invincible weapon. That day, T's crying made me feel fear and disgust, but also an inexplicable pity.His grief really has a deterrent force, which oppresses my own feeling and restrains me from resisting. I kept breaking free, and the two of us stood and writhed in the bedroom like a co-ed wrestling match. Gradually, my strength to break free from him was exhausted. His steady stream of desperate tears fell on my face, cool and seeped into my skin.The strange thing is that the tears turned into a tiredness in my body, and the tiredness seeped out from my skin, and was once again absorbed into his body by his blazing heat. Finally, I gave up resistance. During the rubbing with him, images of Yi Qiu and Xi Dawang's bodies twisting together kept appearing in my mind. This image came to life like a cartoon, stimulating my imagination and senses.I felt a tremor emanating from my body, rippling on my skin, and the tremor made me dizzy. So, I closed my eyes. At this time, in the darkness after my eyelids were closed, I vaguely saw that the image of Yi Qiu and Xi Dawang twisting together suddenly changed, the scene and props remained the same, it was still the back room of Yi Qiu’s house, and It was still the half-old camp bed in the dark, but the two naked male and female bodies twisted together on the bed became two other people.Yi Qiu and Xi Dawang walked off the camp bed holding hands, and smiled secretly at me and T. Xi Dawang said, "It's time for you to play, what a wonderful thing." Yi Qiu turned to me and said to me alone, "Don't be afraid, you have to appear on this stage sooner or later." Then, the body on the camp bed was replaced by me and T. When changing the pictures of this scene in my mind.Something even more strange happened. It was as if my body had been hypnotized. The original strong fatigue caused by breaking free suddenly turned into a force opposite to the original one, moving towards T's body. Leaning over, paralyzed on his body... On such a summer evening in August, when the light in the room gradually dimmed, the hot body of this mature man writhed on the almost naked body of his female student, his breasts were helplessly Her breasts pressed and rubbed.There seemed to be a deep pain brewing at the opening of his trousers.Like a heat wave, the hot air from his mouth slid down one side of her cheek, towards her neck, and passed down her spine until she reached her pubic bone, where she felt a numbness. His hands wrapped urgently around her waist, pressing their crotches as close as possible to each other.She felt a hand growing out from under his waist, and this "third hand" was shaking enthusiastically and excitedly, as if it wanted to reach into her body to grab something.The female student leaned her upper body back as much as possible, trying to distance herself from him.However, he poked his head towards her, licked her ears and neck socket with his hard tongue, and then bent his head hard to bury her chest, sucking her warm breast and her milk-white skin.She couldn't move anymore and closed her eyes involuntarily. At this time, under a violent impact, she felt a stream of heat from his body through his pants, wet to her groin... The dusk outside the window poured the last residual heat of the day into the house tiredly. T and I were sweating at the moment, and our heartbeats were as fast as the second hand of a clock, and we could hear each other. When I got out of his arms, I saw that his thighs were soaked in a large area, and my waist and abdomen were also made sticky, which was very disgusting. I was both annoyed and embarrassed by my behavior. I said to T, "You go, I'm going to the bathroom to take a shower." The expressions of guilt and love were squeezed on T's face at the same time, and he said with some embarrassment, "Awkward, awry, I am not a man who flirts on impulse, I will treat you well and protect you well." I said, "You go first, I'm going to take a shower." "Shall we go out to eat together?" T suggested. I said, "No. I have to eat with my mother. Let's talk about it another day. I'll think about it." "Aoba, don't think of me so badly, okay? I really yearn for you all the time, and look forward to being able to be with you one day..." "Nonsense." When I heard him say this again, I immediately became angry, looked straight at him, and collided with his eyes without any scruples, "You have always been against me, picking on my faults, embarrassing me !" "But that wasn't my intention, and I don't know why I treated you like that. I swear, I swear, I need you, I want you, love you! " I insisted, "You go first, after a while, my mother will come and ask me to eat." T sighed.Stop insisting and say, "Okay, stubborn, I'll come see you tomorrow." "Don't come again." I said hastily. "I don't touch you, I swear, Aoao, I just want to see you, invite you out to dinner, and have a good talk with you." T lowered his wet eyes, paused for a moment, and said, "Aoao, I want to I apologize for your recklessness today!" His expression had caused him to give up all his former dignity. A fly was flying in the room.It went around along the side of the bedroom close to the window, which made me feel that the whole large glass window was shaking, and my bed under the window eaves was shaking together, as if everything in the room was being shaken from this moment. loss of stability and security. T's eyes turned to the big bed.He saw that the flaxen sheets were as white as a forbidden area.blocked his desire.The last blush of the setting sun smeared on the center of the bed, like the milky white skin was accidentally dyed with the warm color of petals, or the blood of a freshly cultivated virgin with warmth. Unable to stand any longer, he knelt down on the bed panting. There was a horrific scream from the bed.