Chapter 11 Chapter 10 The bed, the stage for men and women

I came back from the hospital after getting the injection and prescribed the medicine.Mother rushed to the unit to go to work. Before leaving, she entrusted me to Widow He and asked her to take care of me. Lying on the bed, I saw the barren and gloomy light outside the window, and the strong wind that had been running all night was breathing slowly and tiredly, shaking the shadow of the bare branches of the jujube tree outside the door on the window paper.My fever subsided slowly, and I felt much lighter all over my body.After spending nearly two hours in the hospital in the morning, I was exhausted.Lie down on your bed now.Looking out of the window—a large low winter cloud, reflecting the orange of the sun for a while, and then diving into the clouds and turning into leaden gray, I thought about the horror of the Ge family in the front yard, and soon I fell asleep until noon. wake me up.

He touched my forehead with her hand, then pressed her forehead against mine to test the temperature, and said. "It's much better. There's still a little burning. Sit up and eat something. I've made egg noodle soup with shredded mustard greens and pepper. Eat it while it's hot, and you'll be fine if you sweat again." I said, "I don't want to eat, you eat." He said, "Absurd, be obedient, sit up quickly." As she spoke, she lifted off the corner quilt on me, bent down and pulled me up. I couldn't fall, and I said, I was sick, my body hurt, and I didn't want to eat.

This year, I have grown almost as tall as her.However, due to perennial diabetes, He must control the daily food intake within two and a half.So she was a thin, weak woman.If I slumped on the bed lazily and didn't plan to get up, she would definitely not be able to pull me back. I said, "you eat, I'll watch you." "Hey," she sighed, "if you don't eat, I won't eat either." She sat down beside my bed, tucked my quilt back up, and said, "Look, you're like a candle. You've only been burning overnight. It's burnt down in one circle."

At this time, she became a tired cat again, leaning against my quilt and looking at me sideways, the whites of her light blue eyes were as clear as lake water, and the black eyeballs flickered a little uneasily.Her eyes were as charming as a virus, addictive, as if some hidden will always flowed in her blood, projecting from her eyeholes. I gathered my flat legs, stood up on my knees, and leaned my thighs behind her back, trying to make her sit more comfortably.As soon as my limp legs came into contact with her body, it was as if they were on strings, and I firmly stabilized on the bed, letting her lean on.

"Then I'll talk to you." He moved his body, found the most comfortable and convenient angle for talking, and leaned sideways on my leg.And put an arm over my hunched knees.On the bed inside. I said, "You're always giving yourself injections—it must hurt." She said, "It doesn't hurt. You relax your muscles like it's okay. It doesn't hurt. The more you tense, the more it hurts." I say. "In the morning, the little nurse who gave me the injection was probably mad at someone, and definitely thought I was that person. She was like injecting an elephant. I pulled my trousers down and down to the bottom of my hip bone. Hardness around the eye of the needle It's hard, and it's already turned green, "Look! "

He glanced at it, immediately felt distressed, and said, "Don't go to the hospital for the next few injections. I'll give you a shot, it won't hurt." I said, "Are you going to get penicillin too?" "It's all the same," she said.While pressing my fingers on the needle eye of my crotch, I rubbed it gently. Her fingertips were very cool, snake-like and extremely elastic, soft as if they had no bones.I saw her slender neck drooping, her breasts protruding slightly in the sweater, her thin body leaning to the right and leaning towards me.The arc of the whole body is as smooth as a beautiful song.Her face looked a little pale, but the skin of her whole body released a tenderness, that tenderness was ready to run to me at any time, fall on my body, protect me and drive away all the pain and bad luck that befell me.

All this made me feel very comfortable, especially He's touch, which led my senses astray in some vague way, and I remembered that she wanted me to lean on her chest many years ago.The scene of sucking her breasts as smooth as a jade pillow reminds me of her sad tears flowing down her cheeks like rolling beads.Then, somehow, the image of those two naked bodies twisted together on the camp bed in Yi Qiu's house suddenly flashed through my mind like a movie. So, I shifted my gaze to the direction of the door.I saw the December sunlight slanting in through the window glass, making the room much brighter than it was in the morning.Floating dust swirls in the light.

I deliberately diverted my thoughts and said, "Is the woman from the Ai family definitely dead?" He said, "He must be dead. At around six o'clock in the morning, the people on the morning shift in the front yard saw the door of his house was wide open, so they yelled twice, but when there was no answer, they leaned into the door frame and found The bed was in a mess, and he felt strange. He stood outside the door for a while and hesitated, not daring to go in. He suspected that it was stolen, so he called a few more people. Several people circled around in front of Ge's house. , The more I think about it, the more I feel that something is wrong. The women of the Ge family lie on the bed all day long. How can there be no one in the bed? If you go out to see a doctor, the door should be locked. Everyone thinks, something must have happened."

"Isn't his wife in the house?" "Later, several people entered the house one by one, and after some tentative investigation, they found that she was tied up and stuffed face down under the bed. With a pillow cover in his mouth, everyone who entered the room was scared and ran out, and someone called the police.” "Then she must be dead?" "The police came early in the morning and did not take her away until nearly eleven o'clock. She must be dead." "Did the Ge family man kill him?" "The affairs of their family can be decided. The two of them have been fighting and quarreling for most of their lives. The two people who are well-behaved are squeezed under the same roof, and they have become enemies. The bed in his house is almost the only stage for their harmony. The outer courtyard Some people said that the two of them used to quarrel and do their husband and wife life in bed. Since his woman fell ill, the only stage for harmony has disappeared in the past few years. There is no such thing as a war without a winner. It’s time to end. Freezing three feet doesn’t happen in a day.” He sighed and continued, “A home is sometimes an inexhaustible source of life and an inexhaustible bitter juice of life. It can cause life, and it can cause death."

I thought of my home, and my heart suddenly became heavy.I said, "My parents don't quarrel, but..." "Their 'cold war method' is enough. Do you know the leaves of Spinoza?" He said. He likes books, I've known for a long time.I once saw two long flat black boxes under the big bed in her house, which were full of foreign books, and those books made me very excited.Once, about one day during the summer vacation of my junior high school, I asked to read her books, and she picked out two novels from the box for me. I remember one was "Robinson Crusoe" and the other was "Robinson Crusoe". .She said that if I wanted to read, I could read all the books in the box.Later, I was busy with homework and exams, so I didn't continue to ask her for books.But, I know, she has read those books.

"Spinoza?" I shook my head, expressing my ignorance. "No two leaves are the same. Look at every house in our yard." After a while, I said, "Why do people have to have a home? Men are too dangerous." He said, "Yes." She responded, as if she remembered something, and stopped talking.Maybe she remembered her own life experience. We were silent for a while, and He said again, "Sometimes, a home is like an empty deception, only the walls, windows and furnishings in the house are real and solid. People are the things that lack the most authenticity. The flowers cast by men and women are like plastic flowers, which look real on the outside and will never wither, but in fact, they are fake after all. " I said, "You don't want to find a man again, okay? My mother has a man like my father, what's the use of it except to fight?" Then, I lowered my voice and said, "A few days ago, I I dug out an old book on men and women from my father's bookcase. I saw in the book that women are crazy weeds that grow fast. It also said that women are dangerous, evil, stealthy and humble creatures. Hoofed Beast. This book must have been written by a man. My dad must have read too much of this kind of book. Actually. I think men are like this!" He laughed, "See what your men and women say, you little fool, where did you come from without your father!" "Anyway, you don't want children. I won't in the future." I said. "And what if I'm old?" she asked. "I take care of you. I'll always be good to you, really." He's eyes suddenly brightened like a mirror, shining on my face.She hugged me hard outside the quilt, bent down and kissed my face—kiss. "Like I take care of you now?" I nod. "Then can you move me?" "Try it when I recover from illness, it will definitely work, you are so thin." He became a little agitated, so he leaned down and hugged me tightly again, and said nothing more. Even through the quilt, I can feel her slender arms inserted under my waist, hugging me as desperately as if holding her own future.I heard her shortness of breath, and she called out in a low voice, "Aoya, Aoya." From her undulating and choked call, I felt that her heart was being mixed with grievances and emotions, sadness and hope. Emotionally entangled. In my heart, He has always been the heroine of a tragedy with a strong atmosphere. On the one hand, this feeling is due to the slenderness and charm of her natural beauty, and on the other hand, there is always a powerful force burning inside her body. The power of self-destruction, a decline and decadence full of the legacy of the emperor.This breath was passed on to me, which always made me, who was much younger than her, feel pity and attachment. At this time, He sat up straight from my body, and seemed a little surprised to see that his little blue floral coat was already stained with tears.Then he raised his head and asked me, "Are you hungry? I'll get you some hot food." I said, "Not hungry." He stood up and put his hand on my forehead to test the temperature.Her fingers were cool and slippery, like a dry cool towel, covering my forehead. I stretched out a hand from under the quilt, pulled off a thread end on the shoulder of her coat, and then grabbed the hand she was caressing on my forehead, not wanting her to leave me. As soon as I touched her hand, she gave up the idea of ​​leaving me to heat the meal.Slowly and hesitantly, she sat down again.I lay on the bed unable to move, as if the small blue flowers on her body fell down and scattered on my body, and I was submerged in a mellow plant fragrance. "Aoao, can I give you a massage?" He hesitated for a while, then said. My body was lying on my back on the bed, unable to move, unable to express any will. "Well?" He asked again tentatively. My body was still dead, lying stiff and unresponsive. He lifted the quilt from me, put his arms around my shoulders, and turned me over on my back.Then, her cool hands reached into my clothes and stroked my back.As soon as that special scalding coolness touched my skin, I felt as if I had fallen from a high place, and the difference in space made me feel extremely dizzy. At this time, I was exhausted and relaxed after the high fever subsided, and I had only one wish, not to leave, so that I could die comfortably, and the desire to die was very strong.In fact, I can feel that she doesn't want to leave either, because.She was bending as close to me as possible. I am particularly worried that I will not be able to hold on to this wonderful time for a long time, and I am worried that it will slip away from me in a blink of an eye.I couldn't think of any way to keep it for a long time, so I pretended to be asleep and let He's cool and smooth hands slide on my skin. In this way, I pushed the contradictory things of relaxation and comfort and tension and panic to myself at the same time.The wonderful feeling naturally comes from the vague hunger and thirst of my adolescent skin; but under the cover of the peaceful posture of "sleeping", the panic swells up bit by bit, because I don't know how to make it I "woke up" like I really did. This kind of panic is very similar to the time when I "frankly" made up nonsense in front of Mr. T.That day, he was standing on the podium, ready to ask a few students to stand up and recite his composition. His gaze swept around the classroom like a searchlight, catching some kind of information in our eye sockets.I was extremely flustered because I hadn't finished my composition.At that time, I secretly made up a lie in my heart. If he asked me to get up and recite the composition, I would say that my composition was left at home. If he asked me to go home immediately to get it, I would say that my key was in the hands of my mother. But if he insisted on calling my mother after class, then... I was terrified, worried that even a slight sway of my body sitting upright in the chair from the panic would attract his gaze. The tension at that time was very similar to the tension I was lying in bed pretending to be asleep at the moment. However, that day, the ease with which I pretended on my face saved me. Mr. T did not notice my abnormality, nor did he call me to get up and recite my composition, just like my aura-rich composition grades, which always can It passed Mr. T easily.As soon as the bell rang for the end of get out of class, as if the air raid order had been lifted, I ran out of the classroom quickly, and the outdoor air and sunshine exuded a fragrance and comfort that I had never had before. At this moment, I was lying on my own bed, although He's fingers only caressed my back, they covered all my feelings.I don't know how it took me so long to recall a trivial but extremely lucky incident in composition class at this time. I closed my eyes, breathing in the touch of He's fingertips and my skin, my mind was blank, and there was a vague idea sinking to some kind of depth or somewhere far away, which was related to my current state. A tense pleasure is entwined, around this pleasure.So, I tried my best to concentrate my thoughts, intending to sort out those wandering and incoherent thoughts, trying to think about what is the invisible thing sinking deep or far away. Slowly, the unreliable thing finally became clear. It was my inexplicable missing of He, as if she was not by my side at the moment, but in a distant place.