Chapter 22 Chapter Nine: The Godmother with the Most Children in the World

This refers to an elm tree on the side of the road three miles from the city where Miss Alice went. This tree is female.Before Alice came to it, she didn't know that it was the tree with the most children in the world.It simply never occurred to her that somewhere in the world such an unintelligent lady would want to know her in-laws under the same tree. A tree, not because it bears a lot of fruit, nor because it is well-known, has become the god-in-law of many rich wives. Throughout the year, there are rich ladies, sons and young masters brought by the nanny to kowtow to the godmother.There is no reason for this, and it is more confused than many human beings being respected for no reason.For example, people in some places can get rich if they are good at lying, such as selling magic medicine... Or as Chinese officials, the new and old plenums coax the common people and use the "people". "Confession" and "honesty" and "shame", but at least they can say this, and they say it very nicely, and there is a reason for this in China.Another example is the country of fools. The reason why the king is elected is because he has a big appetite and the other is very lazy. This is also a reason.But with what ability can a tree by the side of the road make thousands of sons and daughters elders?

The strange thing is that people in this place, since they have the same rules as other places in China, are happy to send their children to someone else, why are they so stupid, instead of making their children the adopted sons of a great and rich man, they come to recognize their relatives with Mu Shi.Although ghosts and gods protect people's misfortunes and blessings are stronger than the power of officials, the writers and elders may not be far-sighted.As an adopted son, the benefits that a rich man can give to his children are beyond what a tree can do! When Alice walked to the tree and stayed there, and saw countless women leading their sons to burn incense and salute under the tree, she thought it was something else and just watched.

These middle-aged and elderly women kowtow first, and then make the children bow down after a while, the situation is very impressive.Some children who have worshiped four or five godmothers and know the rules, kowtow in a decent manner without waiting for orders.As for this is the first time, parents have to worry about pressing the back of the neck with their hands.They even looked through the almanac first, and chose today's day to come!Fortunately Alice came here just today, so she didn't leave the tree to find interesting things elsewhere. Normally, children swear at others, as they said in the first correspondence between Miss Alice and Mr. Nuoxi that children take pleasure in swearing at each other. Sexual behavior is necessary.For example, calling the other party "son", or scolding "I am in love with your grandmother and daughter", these words are very artistic to take advantage of, but besides being the husband of someone else's mother, there is still the joy of "I am your father".Since such words are used as an attack, it is natural to be ashamed.However, ask these children how many godfathers and godmothers there are, and how many godparents out of an average of four or five are human. If they understand that the person you are asking is sincerely asking him to tell the truth, what he told you , How amazed you!Worshiping idols, stones, trees, monuments, bridges, butcher's desks, and sows in pigpens, almost everything can be used as godfather and mother, what a strange place!Every kind of trash in this place is qualified to be a godparent. For example—I’m sorry to borrow an example from ordinary society—for example, in China, every trash can be qualified to be a high-ranking official of the country.A place that is a bit smaller and barbaric, but huge, strange, or dirty, all kinds of objects can be awe-inspiring by the whole people.In a more enlightened place, the objects of awe gradually shift to all great men who are good at lying, pretending to be stupid, swearing, and killing people. From these two things, we can clearly see A history of human evolution, Chinese and foreign are the same, the differences are small.

It is already a waste of money to recognize people as parents, and it is even less cost-effective to recognize animals or utensils. However, there are four or five strange godmothers in every child, and they don't think it is okay to be the son of animals. Shame, thinking about it, of course it can make money in the protection of safety.As for how to be a son of this tree and be blessed with longevity, Miss Alice doesn't understand, so we'll let her inquire. Let's see how she speaks. She asked an old lady and said, "Old lady, please tell me something." The old lady naturally agreed.Old ladies in this place, if they don't have dry sores in the corners of their mouths, and they don't chew pine beans, peanuts, or sunflower seeds, talking is a common hobby.If you ask her something she doesn't know, she can make up some words and answer at will, or say something similar, what the Bodhisattva said, what the fairy lady said, so that the person you ask for help will get a kind of help, and she will only know it in her heart. Comfortable.As for what you are asking about is what she understands in her heart, then naturally she won't say she doesn't know.

However, with that exception, there is a kind of old lady who is usually very good-tempered, and she has reason to be unhappy with whom to talk to when she loses money. This is a rare minority, but there are always some.But not necessarily! Whether this old lady has lost money or not, you can tell by looking at her face.This face, but happy.Because she remembered sitting five dealers in a row yesterday, she was "heart-digged" and "foot-cut" by the overhanded player, and the dealer still didn't win. This luck should really be the "death luck" cursed by losers.Winning with money, no matter how bad or lucky it is, can't make her less kind today!

"Miss, you have to understand this rule, do you want to see your godmother for a day?" "Not necessarily—but it's all the same," said Alice, but all the same, all thinking of entertaining the old lady's kindness. "But first I want to tell the lady that today is a very good day, so my little boy came here." The old lady dragged the boy past Alice, and Alice was startled. What a beautiful child! Miss Alice looked at the little boy so closely that she wondered.Because the children's clothes and rags used for fun in this place were found from this child.This blouse, which is no more than one foot two inches long, was made of at least fifty kinds of materials. From this, it can be seen that the master tailors in this place are not very skilled. Alice knew monk's robes, but Unexpectedly, there is such a style besides cassock.

Her cleverness made her dare to judge that this child is not a child of ordinary people, so she said: "Old lady, your young master's clothes can be exhibited in our place, and I will guarantee that someone will pay a high price for them." This is very polite, even Mr. Nuoxi would not put it in a good way. "But I'm not a seller," said the old lady, which Alice did not understand. Alice thought the old lady didn't know what she meant, so she said, "I mean clothes!" "Exactly, I also talk about clothes! I'm not deaf!" "But clothes are clothes, how do you sell your sons and daughters?"

"How do you say it? I don't understand what you are saying! I sue you..." Everyone, do you think this is a curse?no.Please don't worry.Alice knew the rules here, and when she was angry with the old lady, she had reasons to be angry, but she never took it seriously.If she doesn't look angry when talking to the old man, she won't be able to find meaning in the words.Although sometimes the more angry you are, the more you don't understand, but anger is still necessary.If Alice hadn't been a little angry and bullied the old lady, the old lady might not have explained to Miss Alice the relationship between the dress and the child.

And listen to her: "Hi, you!" she began.As a rule it was Alice who should say, "Hi, how am I?" and she went on.Miss Alice, now that she has learned the routines of these conversations, she naturally agreed as a rule.The old lady continued: "You are stupid. (This is a very dear reprimand) I have spent two or three years working hard to get this dress. Can I sell it?..." It turned out that the dress was sold by a hundred people. It is made of a small skirt, and this is the small skirt of a hundred masters.Get this thing, watch the day, invite the tailor to come home, treat the ready-made clothes with four plates and four bowls, and then make the clothes in seven days.So depending on the day, I asked the person who rowed the dry dragon boat to take the clothes, hang them on the dry dragon boat for a year and eight days, and when the day came, two old people who used to wear red tops would carry the clothes into the door and put them on the small door. On the child, —— so to this day, Alice said to use it to open an exhibition and sell it for money.

Miss Alice, who heard this, opened her mouth but couldn't close it.She didn't expect this piece of clothing to be so valuable.Just think about it, can such a thing be obtained by the family of the kerosene king?A hundred small skirts, a perfect and auspicious day, seven days of banquets with four dishes and four bowls, one year and eight days of debauchery,... these are not counted, and there are two rich old men wearing red hats , is really not an easy task! Alice had to admit to her face that she was serious about being stupid, but luckily the old lady forgave the stranger right away.

After admitting her mistake, accompanying the ceremony, and having nothing to do, Alice remembered what she wanted to ask.She still said in an angry tone, "That's strange! These people all come to worship under this tree!" The old lady said, "No wonder! I guess it's so strange to hear you say that!" "There is no reason." "Of course there is a reason, otherwise they would never ask. I will tell you that these people have very good minds, and there is nothing wrong with them." "I don't believe it." "I want you to believe me." Alice had to believe it, and the old lady's words were opened again.She sued Alice for various reasons.The important thing is that the old lady repeatedly explained that all those who worship this tree are people of high status.Can we say that anyone with a lot of power will do stupid things? "...I tell you," the old lady said while pointing her fingers, "this is the red hanging by Commander Wang. This is the Zeng family—the Zeng family is the family of the Seventh Master Zeng on North Street. Ma'am. This is director Fang. This is Liu—a lijin...post office...no matter what kind of bureau it is, it's the director! The director is tough and earns 100 yuan a month. This belongs to the Tian family. This is the director. ..." If it wasn't for Alice's interruption, the old lady would have counted at least a hundred evidences that some powerful people were famous.Alice saw that the old lady had a book in her mind, and she had a clear idea that she was not lying, so she believed it unconditionally before she finished speaking. The old lady sued Alice again, so that Alice knew that she was an old lady in command and a mother-in-law who was a pawnbroker. "It's all respectable status," said the old lady, not without complacency. "I'm old, I'm sixty, it's all over. But my son is a man of status, and the family can afford to be a servant, a girl, and a servant... and the son-in-law is a genuine decent person, no Worrying about food and clothing..." The old lady said a lot, but she seemed to be explaining why she had to drag her little grandson around to worship his godmother all day long.Of course Alice listened to the old lady's narration very carefully, because it was much better than the "Arabian Nights" narrated by Aunt Gregory Foyce.She couldn't hear some things clearly, so she asked the old lady in detail, and the old lady would naturally not begrudge the answer to such a matter. Finally, when it came to godmothers, Alice said that she really wanted to know how many godmothers a person could be. "Then let's see." "What I want to know is the number of people of all kinds who can be godmothers. For example, the number of guards and soldiers is three hundred and six, and the number of sentries is only one hundred and four—is it suitable for being godmothers? Something like identity?" "My sister, at your age, it's a good thing you want such words!" The old lady smiled.Laughing is true, although I said earlier that talking to old ladies requires being angry all the time.Her smile only meant that Miss Alice wanted her to be her godmother, which she liked to do to her daughter. Alice actually saw the old lady's intentions, because the intentions were not bad, so Alice also laughed. She said to the old lady, "Please let me know the limit on the number of godmothers, I will be very grateful." "As a godmother, do you mean trees or people? I don't know when it comes to trees, but I heard fairy aunts say that there are differences among trees. When it comes to people, I don't need to make comparisons, just take me as an example. I There are three hundred and sixty dry sons and daughters in my life, just like the number of troops my son commanded. This is according to the order of the God of the Temple of Heaven, and if there are too many, it is fighting with the gods. But my young master was promoted to the governor , I am afraid that by then, all children and adults in the whole province can be my godsons. Since a man has become a governor, such a thing is not considered presumptuous." "Do you think they all will, old lady?" interrupted Alice. "I can't see a reason why they wouldn't. . . . Hey, don't interrupt, listen to me! Let me tell you, we have a godmother with at most children here, who is an exception. The reason why she is a godmother to many people is that she can send every godson a generous gift.She is rich, so God is not against her. " "But," said Alice sweetly, she "wants to know how many godchildren the old lady has." "How many? It has already exceeded the number set by God. There is no way. It seems that God forgives me for being in such a helpless situation." She told Alice an approximate number, saying that it was at least "a bottom line." .The old lady explained the so-called one-sided person, "the way to get a salary as a leader is also the way to be a small tax bureau chief." A manager can at least earn three hundred dollars in the open and secretly three hundred, and a bureau chief can at least earn in the clear. There is one thousand in one hundred darkness.The old lady was emotional about the second metaphor. She said, "Please think about it, they are the same. Since the higher officials of the country and the higher gods do not interfere, I think I accept it." If the number of godchildren you have is less than one thousand, you will not be afraid of God’s interference no matter what.” It also seemed obvious that the gods who governed the place had no intention of outlawing this unfavorable fate.For what the old lady had told Alice was that she had more than three hundred and sixty before her son became a caretaker (and she did not forget to add that this was not because of any gifts for the children).She did not yet know what surprise this dreadful sum had struck Alice's ears! "I can't tell, this is a godmother with more than seven hundred and twenty children," Ali thought, feeling uneasy. She felt that she had disrespected the old lady.What she never expected, this "surprise" is just like the hundred treasure clothes on the young master, it is all a joke made by her own carelessness.If I go home, my sister said, a very ordinary old lady who doesn't look like a historical figure at all, actually has a strange thing in history, and makes fun of putting the number of godchildren on the number of 1,000. Sister Wumei will laugh so hard that she can't keep her mouth shut.And he loves to say strange things so much that his aunt, Mrs. Gregory Foyce, is always unwilling to believe that the words are true, because the old man has never dreamed of such things. But what about my aunt?A godmother who can be ten thousand sons and daughters, and a tree!But a shade tree for the road!Knowing this, is there anyone who has the guts to be proud of others by having more sons and daughters? Let Alice and these seven hundred and twenty "godmothers" stand under the "godmother tree" of thousands of godmothers and talk about something else. They also had questions and answers about the obligations and rights between godsons and godmothers. If the copying of the discourse does not feel very annoying to the readers, please keep these things in mind, it can be provided for the doctoral dissertation of folklore researchers. Alice said, "Old lady, why should there be more of such a thing in this place?" "Who knows? Whoever knows that there will be another thing in another place can't always understand that there will be such a thing here." "But your godmother always knows that..." "My daughter... (She made a mistake and corrected her,) My sister, did you ask 'meaning'? The 'meaning' is that a godmother can go to the in-law's mansion to play cards all day long, if you don't think Playing cards is for losing money. There are many happy events and wine to eat, which is also the reason to be a son and daughter. If you want to be lively during the holidays, you must be a son and daughter. When you return to the soil for a funeral, the sons and daughters are embarrassed not to come and wrap a white veil. Yes... My sister, this is the "meaning" you want to ask. Everything has meaning, and it will never just happen. But this is one side, and there is another side. That side is like It's this in-law who has ten times and a hundred times more godchildren than me. It doesn't play cards, and it doesn't like to drink. Although someone sent good wine, I can't believe that it can distinguish the taste of wine better than me, a layman. ,——It is its temperament that loves to be lively, and I also suspect it. And, when it comes to death, it is tired of wrapping red silk and red cloth in life. Is it revenge if it wants to kill its children and wrap white cloth? Our in-laws are actually completely Unlike me, (here she is afraid of profaning the in-laws, her voice is soft.) It was coerced by others, but this coercion was out of good intentions, and it was no worse than some people in the same place who were coerced and suffered a great grievance. If it is said that one has to complain when one is wronged, then the one who suffers the most is that people cannot speak with their mouths, and it is certainly impossible for the tree to say that it is unwilling to be entertained by people." "Being a godmother is some rights, and some become obligations. This is not what I can think of." "How many things do you think at such a young age?" "Aren't many things the same in the world? Since they are the same, of course I should have thought of them." "But you won't think of some strange things in the world where people are rights here and duties are there. It's like paying homage to a godmother, and it's not lacking in other places." "I! I thought..." Alice couldn't go on. She looked at the old lady's grandson, who was betting in front of the "Godmother Tree". If you throw it on the ground, you will owe your godmother ten sticks of incense if you throw it on the ground, and you will take out ten sticks of incense from the incense stand in front of the god's table if you have a double idea.The dice has already reported the number, which is five, and the children are very clever and lead to the local rule that "one does not count".The second throw was about to be thrown, but was seen by the old lady. The old lady did not object to this behavior, but thought that it was necessary to study the method of throwing dice. Damn it's fragrant.Miss Alice found it impossible to find similar examples of such things in another world. According to the old lady's instructions, the dice turned into four points for the second time.As the old lady picked out the incense sticks for her grandson, she said to Alice, "Look, what a great in-law!" Alice could only nod. The old lady thought that such an honest gamble with the gods was beyond the reach of an uneducated child, so she couldn't help but praise the child a few words on this matter, and Alice remembered that this was not in another world. Can find examples.In fact, on the other hand, all the fair things like the old lady praising the children in other places are all here?It was all the more suspicious to Alice in the other sort of thing that well-bred, grown-up people do.And this incident is an example, which can prove that the behavior of the old lady praising the child has happened in another world.It was only Alice's fault for willing herself to be confused. "It's easier to take advantage of gambling with gods than gambling with people. That's something only children in this place understand." Alice didn't mean to say this for the old lady. But the old lady who heard this was very grateful for Alice's compliment, and asked the child to bow to Alice, but the child said, "Miss, please bless me to win a little more fragrance." "I can never bless you or anything, I am an ordinary person!" "Miss, you are an ordinary person, so you can bless my child even more, because he has a lot of life, and he has to ask an ordinary person to be his godmother!" Alice was really angry.Because of what the old lady said, it seemed that Alice needed to be a child's godmother, so she got angry and wanted to leave. "My sister, you can leave if you want, but you don't have to be angry. I know the reason for your anger, but we generally don't take it seriously when we do wrong things, and of course we shouldn't take it seriously when we say wrong things." "I didn't say it counted!" "But you go, otherwise I won't hesitate to ask you to ask me to be my godmother. Allow me to add that if you become my goddaughter, you will never suffer. ...... But you go, I I'm going to play cards, and today is a good day, although it is good for worshiping a godmother, it is also good for winning money, my sister, we will see you again." "Good-bye, but, but, but..." Alice had nothing to say, so she stopped -- she saw the two grandparents scrambling away, disappearing into a mound of earth, She just let out a sigh of relief. ... "Seven hundred and twenty godmothers is really not a small number!..." Miss Alice wrote a letter to Mr. Nuoxi who lived in Fuling Hotel in the evening with such an anecdote.In the end, I want the rabbit to tell her some tidbits, such as begging her godmother to wear patchwork clothes.There is no shortage of such eccentricities in China.Alice was too young to avoid strange things.As for the Chinese, although they were still more childish than Alice, they had already developed a calm spirit not to be easily surprised. When Alice came home, what surprised her the most was the intelligence of Chinese children.