Chapter 6 Chapter 5 The first day

This is what happened on the first day between Miss Alice and the decent rabbit gentleman who stayed at the Poria Hotel after they landed on a pier in China. It is not easy to understand whether Mr. John Nuoxi went out early alone out of selfish intentions to trick the young lady into doing some private affairs.But he left the gate of Fuling Hotel at nine o'clock, and he didn't turn around until twelve o'clock.This is strange.Miss Alice was ashamed to plan her own meal, because Mr. Nuoxi said before going out that he must go home to have lunch with Miss Alice.If you don't come by then, just keep waiting.

Always wait and never come.Miss Alice went to look at the clock, and it turned out that the clock also kindly stopped, waiting for Mr. Nuoxi, so after Miss Alice looked at it four times, the pointer was always under the 8 Poked. She was afraid that Mr. Nuoxi had forgotten the name of the road where he lived, so she couldn't come back when she remembered to go home for dinner.She was also worried that Mr. Nuoxi was getting old and might have been knocked down by a car while crossing the road. At this time, Mr. Nuoxi was lying on the hospital bed, humming, with a white cloth wrapped obliquely on his head. Next to the bed, a Chinese female nurse wrapped in a white veil was quietly talking about Mr. Nuoxi's pair of ears.

The servant in the hotel—this is a person who is about the same age as Mr. Nuoxi, except for a pair of ears, Miss Alice thinks the rest is exactly the same as Mr. Nuoxi. He didn't want to eat, but was in a hurry, so he secretly did a good deed.He went to a good place to find out the direction of Mr. Nuoxi's whereabouts, turned around and walked into Miss Alice's room, saluted according to the rules, and said to her, "Miss Foreigner, I miss Master Nuoxi... Mr. Nuoxi decided I won't be coming back for dinner." "Will not." "Yes. There are people from everywhere in this place, don't just meet old friends and be dragged away by friends."

"It doesn't matter if you don't eat, I'm afraid that he will be unfamiliar or something will go wrong when he first arrives in your country." "You foreign respectable man can never go wrong here." "I saw a lot of cars in this place..." "If Mr. Nuoxi ran over someone to death in a car, he could settle the lawsuit for only fifty yuan." "Isn't Mr. Nuoxi only worth fifty dollars?" Miss Alice felt uncomfortable when she heard the waiter say that it was only fifty dollars.She misheard. The errand saw that Miss Alice had misunderstood what he said, and hurriedly added that the so-called fifty yuan was a way for foreigners to kill Chinese people on the ground in China. Of course, Mr. Nuoxi was not the case. .

"That's too cheap, isn't it only twenty-five yuan for a child?" When I was on an errand, I stopped making a sound.Because he understands that in front of a foreigner, many things about money should be said to be twice as expensive as the real situation in China, so that he can profit from it.However, he knew that this matter was a rule that many foreigners understood, and the fifty yuan pension was a large amount to him.A life, even if it is a life, the price of human life in many parts of China is not higher than that of pigs and dogs. In places where there are famines, children use twenty-two scales to trade, at most, the market is only seven cents a catty.Most of the city's monopoly population, except for young women who are worth one hundred and two hundred, most of the rest are without the market.He himself didn't really believe that it could be sold for fifty yuan!

Thinking of this, the old servant just stood still in front of Miss Alice in a daze. Miss Alice, remembering what the valet had said that Mr. Nuoxi would never come back to dine, asked him what else there was to see in the place.Because she knew that Mr. Nuoxi came to China to watch the excitement, and thought that maybe Mr. Nuoxi went out alone early in the morning to go to such a good place on purpose, and forgot to go back to the hotel because it was so fun. "There are so many places to play." Then the errand counted out three dozen local benefits for Miss Alice, such as going to a Chinese temple to see Chinese people kowtow to the Bodhisattva for blessing and wealth, and the errand knowingly that it was a foreigner. A pleasure to visit.Finally, he brought this question to Mr. Nuoxi, "Maybe the old man also went to the Temple of the City God. I just went to a blind man to beat him, and asked the blind Mr. Nuoxi the direction he was going, and he said In the east, the Town God's Temple was originally in the east!"

"Has the blind man seen Mr. Nuoxi?" "He's blind!" "What's going on?" "This is weird. His eyes are blind, but his mind is bright. He knows everything with a hexagram box. It is very clever. What he said is never wrong. He told me just now that Mr. Nuoxi will never answer Eat at home, you can’t go wrong!” In the end, in order to prove that the blind man was not blind, the old waiter learned a lot of stories from Miss Alice. If he met a well-behaved person, he would suspect that the blind man was specially sent to solicit business.He also said how many foreign guests in this hotel on this road trusted the blind man. When they lost something and couldn't find it, they would ask him, and he would be able to point out the thief or the cook. , or the coachman, and the direction the thing is going, so that someone can find the thief.He also said that he believed that this was Lu Dongbin's reincarnation.

After the waiter's remarks, Miss Alice seemed to say that "The Arabian Nights" was interesting, so she forgot about Mr. Nuoxi, and came to discuss the prophet.She once heard Mr. Nuoxi talk about Mr. Habu's place with the appearance of a Chinese fairy, and his name seems to be Lu Xing.She thought it was a strange thing for this fairy to be blind. She said, "Are all your Chinese gods blind?" "That's not necessarily the case. I heard that all gods have bright eyes. Some have three eyes, and the middle eye is on the forehead. When it opens, it emits green light. That's how the God of Wealth is. Only one god is lame. Walking with a cane to support him, his name is Tieguai Li, who wears a gourd and sells elixir everywhere, and according to the blind man, they will meet."

After a minute, Miss Alice thought of meeting the blind fairy, and she said, "You will lead me to see the fairy tomorrow, won't you?" The waiter readily accepted the obligation without any hesitation. up. What she meant by going to see the blind man was to gain some insight, and to have the opportunity to ask how many gods there are in China, and why the Chinese gods don't go to the west to bless people. "Is your name Alfred, boy?" According to Miss Alice's question, the waiter bowed respectfully and said, "You can also be called Ah Fu, or Er Niu, please call the foreign lady whatever you want."

"It's convenient to have two names." "Miss, this is a low-class person. If it is a high-class person, please use five names." "Then Er Niu, we will go to see the gods with Mr. Nuoxi tomorrow. At this time, you bring the meal and let me finish it." The waiter went to the kitchen. Miss Alice, thinking of many interesting things while eating.She thought that after seeing the blind man, she could inquire about the names and addresses of all ghosts, gods, bodhisattvas and gods in the sky and on the earth, as well as their living conditions. If the blind man refused to tell him, she would give him a little money. She did.She just wanted to keep these fairy names in her heart completely, and then she could learn this experience from Mrs. Greg Foyce when she went home.And in the future, when I meet my father and want to say that there is only one god in the world, I can tell him the number of these gods with roots and roots, and see what he says.In order to make everyone in the family below her father believe that what she said was true, she also thought that when visiting those gods, she would ask for a business card. The business card must include the affairs managed by the god in China, and even the professional origin of the god. Obviously, then Dad might be able to write another theology book.

When Miss Alice was eating, the two cows stood aside respectfully and filled the meal.Miss Alice asked him if there was any place to play in this place, and explained that it was a place for women to play. "Then go to the dancing hall." "and also?" "There is a play." "A play?" To tell the truth, Miss Alice could not believe that the Chinese could act.But at the same time, she admits that watching everything in China is like watching a very interesting drama.Mr. Nuoxi once said that the Chinese people's walking gait is all about theatrical gait, but it doesn't always convince Miss Alice that the Chinese have dramas outside of life. Er Niu said, "Chinese plays are the most popular! Singing and dancing, people's faces are all painted with color or white powder, and they are still beaten, killing and hacking with real knives and guns!" "That looks good for sure." "Of course. There are a lot of people. You foreign ladies like to watch this too. It's all in private rooms. This show is for the fun of rich men and women who have nothing to do. Your lady can really go and try it!...The play It is men who dress up as women, and they dress up very well. Anyone who fills this kind of role is good-looking. Men like it and women like it. They also speak like women, and the sharper they are, the more famous they are. They stand on the stage and sing, and there is a person next to them Qin. When the mouth is dry, someone will come to feed tea. When there is a war, there will be cotton mats on the floor, so that they will never be hurt. They... have many benefits." When Miss Alice heard this, she first told Er Niu that the opera was also available in her country, and then admitted that it might not be as interesting as China. "I think so too," Er Niu said, "China is good, everything is good, and smarter foreigners have said so." I can't finish talking after eating.It is a coincidence that a person like Erniu who is born to be a waiter for foreign guests in Fuling Hotel.When Miss Alice first came here, Mr. Nuoxi didn't come back, and he didn't dare to go out to play alone, so he had to ask the old man to speak to her in plain language.She asked a lot of things she wanted to know, that is to say, about all the interesting things she wanted to know about China, the old waiter could tell Miss Alice in detail.Ask him what is "lively", and he will understand what is considered a "lively event", and he can talk to foreign ladies about how popular it is, so he will talk about it for Miss Alice.The words were not exaggerated, and the man had a particularly good memory, so he spoke them nicely, and Miss Alice listened very attentively.When a foreign traveler comes to China, many Chinese national quintessences are introduced to him under such circumstances.If the foreign traveler meets such a person (it is very easy to find a genius who talks like this), then he can live in China for a month without having to go out of the house, and what he knows can be written into two or three thick books. ... "It's all a good story," she thought to herself. "It's better than the Chinese stories my aunt, Mrs. Gregory Foyce, told!" Er Niu's words lasted until Mr. Nuoxi went back to the hotel to help Mr. Nuoxi undress.The gentleman apologized as soon as he saw Miss Alice, and said he was ashamed of being unable to come back at the appointed time, and that he had been waiting so long in this respect.But when Miss Alice asked where he went to "white face", the friendly rabbit laughed.Rubbing his hands and laughing.He read the sentence in the guidebook that Miss Alice didn't quite understand, "Three pigs", "Three pigs".Mr. John Nuoxi went out today, obviously suffered a little loss. Where did Mr. Nuoxi turn around so late?The fairy also seemed to guess wrong. After Mr. Nuoxi said, Miss Alice never visited the blind man again.It turned out that the direction of the place Mr. Nuoxi was going to should be in the due west at this time, which was exactly opposite to the due east that Er Niu said the fairy had found out. When Mr. Nuoxi went out, he only looked around and walked along the road, and when he couldn't walk, he took the tram back to the hotel, so he didn't use the car that was not prepared in the hotel.About half an hour after leaving the house, he adopted the walking style of a Chinese gentleman and wobbled along the bustling road. many people! Just brushing against these people is also a kind of fun for him.There are all kinds of Chinese people in his eyes, and he reads in his mouth the book "Travel Guide" presented by his old friend Mr. Hab, such as "If everyone in Beijing looks like a master, then when you come to The aphorism "The eyes of all the people you see in Shanghai are like pickpockets" is the behavior of Mr. Nuoxi on the road.Mr. Nuoxi thinks Mr. Hab is very admirable for using what he has seen and touched to confirm the travel guide. The "Travel Guide" said, "The Europeans in Shanghai seem to be much more vicious, far less than in their own country. Probably in such places, it is impossible to talk about peace and compromise. The whole business You should have sharp eyes and quick hands, otherwise you will be unlucky. 'Blowing bullshit' (original note: big talk) is an indispensable thing in this place. We can know it from selling medicine, and maybe it should be transferred to politics." Mr. Nuoxi I just don't quite understand what bragging is, even if I look at the original notes.He also slightly disagreed with the statement that "in China, honest people have the same fate as European honest people, and they have to worry about starving to death all the time", which seems to be unfounded, because he himself thinks that he is also the same. One should be said to be an honest rabbit, but it is not because of starvation.And this loyal and lovely rabbit, he is walking on the road that Europeans brought mahogany, cement, iron plates, and steel columns from Europe to build buildings. What he saw at the moment was also this road. Everything in general, of course, there must be a little doubt up.On such a road, death is never lacking. It was run over by a car. I have never seen a starving man fall down on this road and die in vain! Because he walked slowly, he could see some people rushing from behind him to the front, both men and women.If the back of the clothes shines, Mr. Nuoxi knows that this person is the person in charge of the government or school.Mr. Nuoxi knew that any woman with fashionable clothes was prostitution. (These women use the buttocks of the person walking in front of her as a mirror, dressing up while walking.) There are still many examples that are applicable to China if they are used in Europe!I only heard coughing everywhere, and saw people spitting everywhere. When I went into a store, I saw that the spittoons were mostly exquisite Chinese porcelain. This seems to be a unique thing in China. I don't know how many people have left, and I don't see how many Chinese people have come.The shops display goods from foreigners, the houses are of European style, and half of the people who walk and drive are Europeans.If China is like this, it would be better to stay at Mr. Habu's house for a month and a half. Mr. Nuoxi thought of "Travel Guide", but unfortunately he never brought this book with him.However, he still remembered the way to ask the way in the "Travel Guide", so he asked the same patrolman to show him a way to China. "Sir, this is China!" "No. I'm going to play in a place in China where I want to live in a low house, dirty body, shirtless and barefoot, smoking opium, and pushing Pai Gow!" So the roadside patrolman designated a tram to this place for Mr. Nuoxi, and asked him to get off at the end of the tram, so that he could see what he wanted to see. So we went to that purely Chinese place. What surprised him was that he didn't see a dragon or a dragon-like painting anywhere. And everything is not as embarrassing as he imagined.It's just that Mr. Habu said that the leisurely faces of the Chinese people can be seen everywhere.The sky seems to be lower when you come to these places.It seems that everyone is only careful in their actions in order to learn the lessons of the way.Every Chinese person has a special curve on his shoulders, just like a European shoemaker, but in China, the hunchback indicates that he is an upper class, because this line represents happiness, not as hard work as Europeans. .How quintessential are Mr. Habu's words! However, Mr. Nuoxi was still not satisfied.Even counting the number of these high-class people seems to be very meaningless.The new need is to eat and drink some Chinese things, but I went to three shops in a row, and they all said that they only had milk, coffee and cocoa, but they didn't sell the Chinese tea I drank at Mr. Habu's house. "Boss, then I ask you to point me to a place where I can get Chinese tea." "If your foreign husband must, then sit here and I'll pour it." This is the way Mr. Nuoxi learned to ask for directions by exchanging money, but the owner of this small money shop is so kind.Of course, Mr. Nuoxi was not polite, and drank the cup of tea that the boss poured for him.The taste is the same as Mr. Habu's home, and the bowl is also the same. When you lift the bowl and look closely at the bottom of the bowl, there is no lack of the words "Made in Qianlong Years". Mr. Nuoxi was shocked.The Chinese people are so rich that even a small exchange office uses ancient porcelain, which is really not what Mr. Nuoxi thought!He thought maybe it was just to treat him, this boss was like this, but he clearly saw that there were three more tea bowls on display in the shop. Mr. Nuoxi couldn't bear to let go of the tea bowl.Halfway through drinking the tea, he said, "Boss, I want to ask you how much this item is worth!" "In recent years, the price of porcelain has increased. I bought this last year, and it cost three dollars!" "Triangle?" The businessman agreed again.That's right, this time, it's not two pounds or three dollars.A person in the money shop business will never confuse the names of all kinds of money. "- Triangle! — Triangle! — Triangle! " Strange as hell.In Mr. Nuoxi's mind, he thought Mr. Habu valued his tea bowl so much, at least the tea bowl was worth three pounds.Three pounds and three pounds, what a ridiculous amount to value in this thing!He doesn't believe it.The boss is a northerner, a kind of fool as we often say, and if he doesn't believe him, he will say that he can give it as a gift.Mr. Nuoxi exchanged four yuan for these four "Qianlong year-made" tea bowls made of blue and white under a kind of modesty. The boss told him that they were fake. I don't feel a little bit puzzled by this fake, and of course Mr. Nuoxi doesn't care about it! They got four antiques on the one hand, and four dollars on the other. Both parties were very happy with the transaction, so they came to talk about other things.The question was asked by Mr. Nuoxi, and the boss, just like the waiter named Er Niu at the Fuling Hotel, talked to Miss Alice, and finally talked about the fun things about this place. "...Sir, let me tell you, if you want to play, you can play everything." "Yes! We are here to play in China!" "Actually," the boss suddenly remembered something that Shi Shi had forgotten to mention. "Actually, I thought that when you foreigners come to China, there is still a very exciting thing to watch. I just don't know if your husband is also interested in this thing!" "I think as long as it's lively, I'm willing to watch it." It is not surprising for the boss to hear that Mr. Nuoxi said that as long as it is exciting, everyone is happy to watch it and is willing to watch it, because other foreigners seem to be willing to watch it.If he said he didn't want to watch it, then the boss thought that Mr. Nuoxi didn't understand the excitement, so he couldn't say it. He immediately explained to Mr. Nuoxi that the excitement was a "war". I don't know about this.Mr. Nuo Xi thought it was strange that he could watch it because of the war, but he had never heard it mentioned, nor had he gotten an explanation from that "Travel Guide".In fact, the "Travel Guide" mentioned this matter, and Mr. Nuoxi forgot this chapter. When Mr. Nuoxi told the boss that he had never heard anyone say this before, the boss said, "Others may not know it, but this is a joke recently. You foreign gentlemen love to watch this. I believe I came with you." That little girl will not be afraid to look at this." Then he went on to talk about the provinces where the recent ground wars in China have been the most lively.The boss also collected a lot of materials about the change of contact area from the newspapers and provided them to Mr. Nuoxi.He also told Mr. Nuoxi what he knew about fighting with weapons.This man's temper is exactly what should be included in the category of dummies who serve as waiters in the Fuling Hotel, and he himself considers this a very respectful contribution! Regarding the beatings, Mr. Nuoxi is not clear about the fact that the Chinese are fighting like this out of thin air, whether it is a real fight or a fake fight.He asked this question to the owner of the money shop, and the answer was that he called patiently for fun. "Then why—" Mr. Nuoxi wanted to know. "When it comes to why, I don't know very well. It seems that there is a kind of host in the bet, I guess. If the masters of the two parties didn't have a host in the bet, they would be paid if they won the game. I don't know where the payment came from. .” Mr. Nuoxi admitted the businessman's conjecture.He remembered the historical records that the Romans wanted slaves to go to the theater to compete in martial arts, and they stabbed each other with swords, or fought with a group of lions, tigers and leopards. At that time, there seemed to be many noble gentlemen in the theater. Well, respectable gentleman and lady, sit down on the leather velvet seat, and make a bet on this kind of thing.When he thought of this situation, he couldn't help being amused by the fact that the tastes of human beings in different places were almost the same in ancient and modern times. "Sir, then you have always had experience in foreign countries." "Yes, it is in the book. But there will never be as many people as here, I believe. I am afraid that only you Chinese can do such a big event, and no one in other countries can do it." "That's right, it's boring if there are fewer people. If there are fewer people, you can't fight, and it's even harder to watch." When they arrived, they talked about how to go to see the war.How to let the Chinese officials prepare the car, how to look at it, how to see the bullets flying, and how to estimate the number of deaths... For businessmen, it is a sincere word, and Mr. Nuoxi also listens sincerely. ——It’s just that this businessman never accompanied anyone to watch the war, and Mr. Nuoxi didn’t want to just watch this.The reason why Mr. Nuoxi's ears are so big may be to some extent meaningful in accepting other people's words. When I remembered the time and wanted to leave the money shop, it was already twelve o'clock. —she is still waiting! He remembered the lunch appointment he had made with Miss Alice in the morning, so he hurriedly said goodbye to the merchant, picked up the four teacups that the merchant had wrapped for him, and left. When I went to the hotel, "Say Zhutou San, Zhutou San", I just remembered that when I went to Mr. Habu's house to drink tea in the past, the respect I showed for the tea bowl was ridiculous, so I mentioned that the translation of "Zhutou San" in the travel guide is "village". "That's all with a smile. They spent an afternoon reporting to each other what they heard about China from the Chinese today, and appreciating these four ancient Chinese magnets with dragons.