Chapter 10 Section five

It is best not to peel off the scars of the past, because if you peel it off, it will still bleed.So when Mrs. Deng talked about the old days, even though it was more than ten years later, she still remembered very clearly: how when she gave birth to Yaogu, she didn't even have anything to eat, thanks to the big bowl of fresh rice brought by the neighbor Zhang Just filled the cavity.How did her husband die from a relapse of an old illness, so many kowtows to Mr. Zhao and Mrs. Zhao, and so many mournings, was he able to be buried in a coffin.How did she get nowhere to get a loan, and was treated badly by others, the landlord urged her to move, and refused to even kowtow, so when she was looking for an employer at a human trafficker, they all said it was inconvenient to bring a small doll, and some persuaded her to sell the doll, She was reluctant to persuade her to lose it. Later, she had no choice but to let Mrs. Zhang act as a matchmaker and remarry to the Deng family.After all, since the remarriage, I have not been anxious about clothing and eating.

Every time Mrs. Deng talked at length, she always talked about her red eyes and kept blowing her nose.Sometimes I have to wait until Uncle Deng gets impatient with persuasion, gets angry, and the couple quarrels before finishing the matter. However, Deng Yaogu always suspected that what her mother said might not be more credible than what Grandma Han said.Occasionally asked Grandma Han: "The poor in Chengdu are afraid that they are suffering too?" But the answer was: "Even begging is a pleasure! Think about it, seven money and two pot chiefs, one money and one money." A large piece of stewed beef, you can eat meat if you can’t ask for 20 yuan a day there! The twelve elephants sold at the four city gates can eat two big bowls for five yuan, can you in Xiangba?”

Young people generally believe in the good, not in the bad, so Deng Yaogu's imagination of Chengdu has always been dominated by Grandma Han.I always want to live in Chengdu in the future, and to live in a rich family, to taste the taste described by Grandma Han, and it will be worth my life. If Second Grandma Han hadn't died when Deng Yaogu was eighteen, she might have had the chance to live in Chengdu.Because Grandma Han once asked her to make a flower-wrapped belly, saying that it was for her three brothers from her natal family.According to her, her three brothers have passed the stage. Although they didn't pass the exam as a scholar, they have passed the book.He is also gentle and elegant, and looks better than her, with slender fingers, tenderer than a woman's hand.He is twenty-one years old, and everyone is proposing to him.I don't know if Grandma Han is interested, but when she talked about the marriage of her three brothers, she suddenly looked up and down carefully at Deng Yaogu.She was also baffled, and suddenly felt her heart beating slightly, and her face burned.

Two months later, Second Grandma Han fell ill, but she was still able to hold on, just coughing.When Deng Yaogu went to see her, she grabbed her hand and said in a low voice: "Yaogu, we can no longer work together to make a living together...we are playing a dragon!...I wanted to call you my three brothers ,...they have seen your way of life,...they just think it's not right....I heard that Mr. Lu wants to ask for an aunt,...although he is in his fifties,...both sons have donated official positions ,...the housework is good,...it's live again...I've sent a message,...but I'm afraid I can't wait for a reply,...Yaogu, your own affairs...you can make up your own mind !..."

She was very anxious and wanted to ask for clarification, but there were so many people in the room, how could she speak?I plan to ask again next time, but I always have no chance, and I am always embarrassed, and Second Grandma Han died before she could explain clearly.Thus, a heavy stone rested on Deng Yaogu's heart. The death of Second Grandma Han was a very common event, but Deng Yaogu was very sad, she would cry once every seventh day, seven times in total.Everyone only knows that Second Grandma Han treats Deng Yaogu well, she must be deeply affectionate; but who knows that Deng Yaogu's crying is mostly because of her own life experience.Because she knows very well that if she can step up to the sky and be in a big family in Chengdu, she must rely on the strength of Second Grandma Han. Now, everything is empty!

In fact, she should resent Second Grandma Han.If she hadn't met Second Grandma Han, why would she have had the phantom of Chengdu in her heart, how would she have known that the lives of women from wealthy families in Chengdu are enviable, how could she have had a comparison in life, and how could she have gradually looked down on the current situation. environment, but the heart longing to jump to a better environment, since there is no chance to realize it, but unwilling to be indifferent, it gradually gives birth to all kinds of anxiety? Since Grandma Han's death, she has indeed changed.What I usually do, I suddenly don't like doing it.She only washed her feet once in half a month, and the foot wraps, which were about ten feet long, were thrown all over the floor, and she could keep them there for two or three days without washing them, and a sweater, if she had the ability, she would not change them for half a month.And he was so lazy that he almost didn't want to pick up the needle when it dropped on the ground.In the morning, I can sleep until my buttocks are exposed to the sun and I don’t want to get up. When I wake up, I don’t comb my hair or wash my face for most of the day; .Temper also becomes very bad, for example, when you see her holding a bowl of dry rice, choking and sobbing, and you persuade her to make some rice soup, she immediately puts the bowl heavily on the table if she has the ability, turns around and walks away, or He raised his eyes and said, "You don't care about me!" He was very kind to his eldest brother on weekdays, making socks for him and mending the soles of his socks, without waiting for his mother to ask; now his socks are so torn that they can't be washed at all, and they are still thrown in the bamboo basket as before. .And when talking to her elder brother, she was always scornful. In two months, only once, her elder brother bought her a printed kudzu scarf from Chengdu, and she liked it for two meals.

Her abnormality caused the first uneasiness to be Uncle Deng.One day, when she was not in front of her, he offered a roll of cigarettes and said to Aunt Deng, "Mom, do you feel that there is something wrong with Aunt Yao recently?... I think this girl has a heart?" Aunt Deng seemed to be taken aback, she stared at him and said, "You said she understands human affairs and is trying to get married?" "I'm afraid, aren't you?... In three months' time, I'll be nineteen years old.... Isn't she already a man?" "Maybe? When we were eighteen or nineteen, we didn't understand anything. To be honest, when I was twenty-one when I married the one before you, I slept all the time. I was still stupid and didn't understand."

"How can it be compared; people born in the Guangxu period?..."