Chapter 33 postscript

When I turn sixty, I don't want people to say that I have to celebrate your birthday this year; it's embarrassing, why are you already sixty?On my birthday, my family and friends had already booked a banquet at the hotel, but they didn’t go, and hid in the study alone to breathe.In fact, escaping time is a manifestation of aging, and I find it ridiculous.So, he kowtowed in front of his mother's portrait.I am grateful for the life my mother gave me, and said that I am not afraid of aging, but just impatient with the long-term eating and drinking at the banquet and the congratulatory speeches, and I am still growing.One or two things have not been accomplished in sixty years, so let's save it for eighty or ninety to celebrate.I burned incense in front of the Buddha again, and the Buddha was always transforming me, turning a pupa into a colorful butterfly, and a seed into a big tree. This year, I lost a lot of hair again, and two of my bare teeth were broken. Then give me strength quickly. My mother often dreamed of picking up a basket of eggs in her later years. I hope to make the lights come alive on paper.Compensationally made me complete another work.

I've been working on the strip lights all summer long.How much I like summer. Over the past decades, almost every novel of mine has been brewed in winter and completed in summer. Others are dizzy and tempered. It’s so hot that I want to peel off my skin to cool off. I am happy to see the lush vegetation and the flying mosquitoes, and I am full of joy in writing.I am very proud of this, and I claim that this is not Cordyceps sinensis, it sleeps like a worm in winter, but it is green grass in summer, and it will bloom a flower. This book is still about the rural areas of China, and it is more about the current human affairs in the rural areas.Maybe most of my works in my life were written for the countryside. Think about it, maybe this is my life, the life of the soil, maybe the countryside chose me, and I seem to hear a voice: such a big land and the land grow It is full of weeds, let Jia's son plow.then.When I am not writing, I wear human clothes, and when I write, I wear cowhide.I remember when my father told me that he was studying in Xi’an when he was more than ten years old. Before he passed the test, he was living on the streets. An old man introduced him to a place where he could have food. He went to Yan'an to serve as a soldier.In my father's opinion, it is not good to be a soldier, and the Kuomintang has been propagating that Yan'an is the gathering place of the Communist Party, and the Communist Party is a bandit, so he didn't go there.I complained to my father, you are going, you are a proletarian revolutionist, and I am also a high-ranking official.My father also said that after he was admitted to school and graduated, he taught in Xi'an. At that time, five bags of foreign noodles could buy a small courtyard house. He was about to buy it. Xi'an was liberated, and gunshots rang out in the city, and he ran away. Back home Danfeng.Of course I complained again: Oh, if you don’t run away, I’m a city resident, so why bother me to become a city resident after 19 years of struggling!When I was in the countryside, my situation was terrible. My father had history problems, my mother was sick, and I had no strength. I signed up to join the army. The medical examiner poked all parts of my body with a glass stick. In the second year, I recruited geologists again, and I went to sign up. That night, the village secretary crossed my name on the registration list; I shoveled sand in the canals beside the road to pad the potholes on the road, but they still didn’t want me; later, I didn’t choose to be a private teacher, and then a private female teacher wanted to have a baby, and I needed an agent. I went to repair a pen, but another person in the neighboring village dropped the bag.During those days, I was confused in the plowed rice fields several times at noon. Tiaozi said to exorcise ghosts.Recalling these past events more than ten years later, some elders said: All these are creating conditions for you to write about the countryside as a writer, such as driving sheep, all the forks are blocked, let the sheep follow one road to the ditch what!I think so too.

At a meeting of the Shaanxi Writers Association, I made a speech like this: If Shaanxi is still considered an important town in Chinese literature, it is mainly because there are a group of writers who write about rural subjects, and most of these writers come from rural areas. After being promoted, the farmer's household registration was transferred to the city, and he changed from an amateur writer to a professional writer.However, the current situation has completely changed, and the countryside is not what it used to be. It is no longer possible to follow the path of the old writers. Young writers should be encouraged to broaden their thinking and write on a wider range of subjects.I say this, but I still have to write about the countryside. One batch of writers has another batch of writers' mission. I am a stereotyped variety, already alfalfa with purple flowers, and I can't make it bloom roses.

I have been used to it for decades, as long as there are no important meetings and family affairs can go away, I will invite two or three friends to go for a run in the countryside. I am not sure about the people there, or the mountains and rivers there?There is no need to wear formal clothes, no need to socialize, Ludu has to be on a rope, I can walk wherever I want, when it is time to eat, I go to a farmer and ask for a meal, and when it is dark, I knock on the hotel when I see it. Door.Year after year, there are fewer and fewer young people in the countryside. Men and women, smart and stupid, almost all go to the city. They seldom find a good life in the city, but as long as they can They are so stupid that they can eat two bowls of noodles every day, they just float around in the city, and they will be ghosts there if they die.And the four seasons in the countryside, the change of cold and warm is not so clear, livestock disappear, farm tools decrease, houses are dilapidated, neighbors are strange, all colors have faded, mountains are remnants, mountains and rivers are leftover water, only the barking of dogs is like thunder. I want to run to the countryside, like the ghosts of butterflies and flowers, they always go to the grass on the mound.Just the year before last, I went to the south of Shaanxi, visited seven or eight counties and more than a dozen villages and towns, went to the northern part of the Guanzhong Plain, and then went to Dingxi in Gansu.The payoff is always great.Of course, this does not refer to creation. If you run purely for creation, it will seem stingy and uncomfortable.When spring comes, we can only see the jointing of wheat seedlings, the earth's air is surging, and all things are revived. There are various colors of vegetation, flowers and crops in the soil.Not long ago, I met a township cadre in the mountainous area. She got my mobile phone number from nowhere, and first sent me a text message. I thought she was an amateur writer, so I replied to her.But she kept sending me letters again and again.Ordinarily I would have been bored, but I was so amazed by her excellent text messages that I was looking forward to her letters and decided to travel far and wide to see her and the place where she was born and raised.I really went, deep in the mountains, she is a township government cadre, specifically working in the Comprehensive Management Office.If the grass and trees are the leakage of Dashan's spirituality, she should be a Ganoderma lucidum at the top of the cliff. She is too smart. She is not a literary youth. She has not read more books, and no one can communicate with her. The literary environment formed, comprehensive treatment Her work is busy and tiresome, but her literary sense and writing style are so good, I believe in a genius.In those days in the mountains, she was an endless confidant.I am a faithful listener, which made me understand another life and work.She led me around villages and villages to get subsistence allowances for poor households.Also go to intercept and reprimand the petitioner, she can drag the ox tail up the mountain, but also pick mountain flowers, put one on her head, buy soil honey, pick mountain fruits, she is tired from running, say you sit here and watch Scenery, I went to take a nap, she ran to a grass nest and fell asleep curled up, I looked at her from a distance, the flowers in the pattern on her shirt were all alive, from the body The upper grows brightly swaying in the wind.Not long after I came back from her deep mountain, I went back to my hometown, where a railway and a highway were being built.There was also a large factory that was introduced and settled down, and there was also a vicious gang fight caused by washing sand in the river. Many people were killed and disabled. I know all these people, so naturally I will visit the families of both sides Assist in dealing with remaining issues.Discussing with everyone at the roadside at the entrance of the village, I was filled with emotions and sighed.The matter is far from over. We are already friends with the female cadre of the township government in Dashenshan. She sends me letters every day. Each letter is hundreds or thousands of words about her work and life. Speaking of her pursuit and yearning, she doesn't seem to shy away from anything, joy, sadness, anger, and depression, just like my niece in my hometown, shaking her body and laughing so hard for you, and yelling at that walker The cow that steals the grass seedlings on the roadside and the pig with a cucumber mouth that refuses to eat.She actually sent me things regularly, such as schisandra fruit, fresh wormwood, walnuts, honey, and packets of documents, notices, reports, work plans, petition materials, disaster relief lists, and leadership speeches issued by the township government to the villages. .One time, it may have been negligent, and there was also a draft of the inspection written by her due to work mistakes.

When I was watching the Xi’an weather forecast on TV, I unconsciously became concerned about the weather forecast in that remote mountainous area. It was then that I was impulsive to write. In the process of writing, it is also the process of organizing myself.It cannot be said that I am not familiar with the countryside, but I think I am already too familiar with it. Even if I saw trees on both sides and vertical stones in front of some residential quarters in the streets of Xi’an, I could recognize at a glance which tree was native to Xi’an and which tree was Transplanted from the countryside, which stone is in the Guanzhong River and which stone comes from the valley in southern Shaanxi.But I learned more about the Chinese countryside through writing, especially the township government, knowing the living conditions there and the mental state of the survivors.I am not in a good mood.It can be said that there are too many problems at the grassroots level of society, just as Dai Deng said in the book.It is like an old spider's web, and dust falls everywhere it moves.It’s not that organizations at all levels don’t know about these problems, they all know about them, and they are all working hard to solve them, but some can be solved, some can’t be solved, and some can’t be solved, just like a cat digging the ground to cover up shit, or just ignore it and close your eyes Nothing happened. As a result, there was a huge backlog while it was being resolved. There were problems with the system, morality, and the legal system.Issues of belief, political and ecological issues, and environmental and ecological issues, if a measles comes out and you scratch it, a piece of measles will come out, and if you scratch it, it will turn into pockmarks.This kind of thinking made some friends laugh, saying that what you do is what you do.He sells steamed buns but manages others to build buildings.I said: If you can't mend the sky with Nuwa, you have to worry about it. Maybe I am a member of the Communist Party.For more than ten days after the Sichuan earthquake that year, I always felt that the bed was shaking when I was sleeping, and the road surface was always soft when I walked on the road. I was afraid of the earthquake, but I hoped for the aftershocks to come soon.

It is precisely because there are too many problems at the grassroots level that you respect the people who work in the township government. Any policies, regulations, tasks, and instructions above are all concentrated on them to complete. If they fail to complete, they will be punished and punished. The higher authorities say that the things they want to grasp are important, and documents and notices are pouring in like snowflakes. They only have two hands, and they only have ten fingers on each hand.And what can they solve? They only have essential essential oils in their hands, and they can apply a little bit when they have a headache and a little bit when their feet hurt.They were dealing with peasants, and resentment poured down on them like sewage.This job function determines the danger of friction with society.Among the township cadres I have contacted, you sympathize with their low status, meager wages, drinking bad water, sitting on carrots, being angry and scolded. Department-level promotion deputy office.Or go to the county town to find a light job, but go to the village in the countryside, but you can drink, eat chicken, swear, and have a violent temper.That's why I think that wearing a lamp is respectable and amiable, she is noble and intelligent, and the cramped environment makes her imagination boundless!We hate those corrupt officials, but we also think that houses are built of bricks, tiles and adobe, and there must be beams and pillars. These people are born for the world and think about the world, so naturally they will not accumulate wealth for their own selfish desires Stealing names, being lustful and being frivolous and perfunctory, these people are the backbone of the country and the country, and the essence of the nation.

Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva said: Hell is not empty, so I swear not to be a Buddha.Now Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva is still a Bodhisattva. I invited one back from the temple and offered flowers, water and incense to it.I have never paid attention to the land god before. In my impression, the beard is so long, the head is so small, and it comes out of the ground as soon as a puff of smoke comes out, but now I think it is a god, a great god, the closest god, bought from the cultural relics market One, no, it was also invited back, and five-color grains were put in its incense burner. I got to know Dai Deng, I got to know Dai Deng, and Dai Deng gave me too much excitement and joy, but also gave me too much grief and sadness, but what I want to write must be literature, which makes me start writing. It has been brewing for a long time before.I didn’t pay much attention to the word brewing before. When I chatted with a young woman born in the 1980s, I asked her why she didn’t attend a party last night?She said: I don't sleep well, I'm going to bed at nine o'clock.I asked: brewing sleep?What kind of brewing? !She said: I have to take a bath, listen to music after taking a bath, make a cup of coffee while the music is listening, and then read a book, drink coffee while reading a book, I feel sleepy when I look at it, close my eyes and gently walk to the bed, lie down There just fell asleep.There are so many programs to be done in the future, so I followed her example and did a lot of work when I was writing.

One of the tasks I did was to spread out so many materials about Dai Deng, thinking about what kind of appearance Dai Deng should grow in the book, what kind of character and appearance she is different from the previous ones,,, or even better. early,,?A well-meaning friend knew that I was going to write, and said: I have written so much, why do I still write?Yes, I have written so much and I still have to write. Is it to prove that I can still write?Is it to further satisfy vanity with abundance?When I was interrogating myself, another voice was murmuring. I thought it was my dog, but when I saw the window was open, I thought it was the wind blowing in. It seemed that the voice was saying: I have written dozens of times. years.You are also getting old, if you still want to write, you have to make breakthroughs and upgrades for yourself and for contemporary Chinese literature.I was so scared that I broke out in a cold sweat.I said: How is this possible? Isn't this going to take the pen from my hand?The voice rang again: Then what paper are you wasting?Go hug your grandson!I said: But I can't let go of the pen, the pen is already my hand, can I chop off my hand?The voice said one last sentence: Is it okay to break through and improve a little bit?At that time, I suddenly thought of a poet's words: When the white clouds speak, it will rain in your sky.I lay down on the desk and wept bitterly.

This incident may be an illusion, but it actually happened. My self-confidence was seriously hit, and a lot of materials about the lights were packed and put on hold.After the Spring Festival, I fell ill and was hospitalized again. After half a year, I was always unwilling to reconcile, and I opened a lot of materials about the lights again. I said: What else can I do without writing? Let me try, I have no ability Do what I can yearn for in my heart.Seeing such a good thing, the one who can steal it is a thief, and thinking about it is also a thief. So, I did another job.Actually thinking about it.

What I am thinking about is a phenomenon that has been seen and heard everywhere I go for many years: more and more people are writing, writing on paper materials, writing on the computer network, and the number of works is as high as The tide is coming, but more and more people in the public opinion lament the plight of literature, an unprecedented plight.what on earth is this kind of happenings?Literature has encountered unprecedented difficulties, but in fact society has encountered difficulties.It is human beings who are in trouble.This kind of dilemma has already appeared, but we failed to take it into account when we were still struggling for survival in a closed environment, and our literature is also enjoying ourselves.When the reform and opening-up country began to prosper and the people began to get rich, they looked around and realized that the sea and the sky were bright, but social development appeared a bottleneck, and the reform urgently needed to be further deepened. Looking at our literature again, it is so embarrassing and helpless.We have almost learned a word: works must have modern consciousness.So.What exactly is modern awareness, and how can it be embodied and accomplished in writing for contemporary Chinese writers?Modern consciousness is also human consciousness.And what most people on the earth think, we should follow the trend.The United States is the most powerful country in the world. Their strength makes them confident. Of course they want to protect their national interests, but they have to admit that they are still thinking about the way out for mankind. They have this awareness, so they interfere and give pointers everywhere. , to Antarctica, to Mars, so their literature also has a lot of themes about the future, about the destruction of the earth and the re-finding of human habitats.As for us, because of poverty, we first care about the survival issues of food, clothing, housing and transportation. For a long time, our literature has been the subject of real problems, or to increase our own vanity, to recall the glory and pride of our ancestors.Most of our literature is the content of historical reality, isn't that right?That's right, and I'll probably have to write about it for a long time to come.When a person is hungry, what he looks forward to is bread, not God’s descending from the sky. Even if he expects God’s descending from the sky, he still hopes that God will come with bread.However, even today, although our literature is still focusing on describing reality and history, how can it have modern consciousness and human consciousness?Our eyes have to focus on the most advanced aspects of human beings. Of course, it does not mean that we also write works about the destruction of the earth and the search for a new home for human beings. I am afraid that we cannot write well, but what we can do is to be sober.What problems to face and solve are obstacles to our progress to the most advanced aspects of humanity?For example, in terms of national temperament, culture, system, political ecology and natural ecological environment, and behavioral habits, how to stop being cowardly and violent, how to stop being false and gloomy, how to be truly fair and prosperous, and how to live dignity and freedom.Only by doing so, this is the Chinese experience we provide, our survival and literature will also have a bright future, and our contribution to human and world literature will also have a special voice and color.

I was never in poor health.My physical activity consists of enthusiastically watching all sports on television.After finally starting to write, during the UEFA Champions League, when I was admiring Barcelona's football game after game, I suddenly thought one day: Ha, is their style of play similar to my style of writing?Ah, it's approximate.In the traditional way of playing, there must be a defender, a midfielder, and a striker, and how to keep the distance between the three lines, the midfielder must be particularly strong, the striker must pass from the wing, and so on.In Barcelona, ​​everyone is a defender and an attacker. When attacking, they pass the ball non-stop. It is cumbersome, detailed and dazzlingly gorgeous. Everything seems to be careless with patience, and suddenly the ball is kicked into the net.This dispelled the traditional formation and tactical play.Isn't it the writing that doesn't rely heavily on the story and the plot? Isn't the tedious and detailed passing the ball to be pushed forward by the details in the writing?I was so surprised and excited.The one who watched the game with me was a friend who was a critic. He always disagreed with my way of writing, and I said: Look, look, they scored again!Don't they always score goals? ! , It's that kind of writing, but I don't want to write that way anymore, it's not suitable for that kind of writing, I have to change, I can't hang myself on a tree.How to write it?In fact, I always have a feeling that if you write for a long time and soak in it, you can always find a way of writing that suits the content you want to write. For example, in winter, you must find cotton wool trousers, and in summer, you must find it. Shorts and T-shirt, your pen is in your hand, but you always feel that some force is controlling your arm.For decades, I have loved the literary language from the Ming and Qing Dynasties to the 1930s. It is fresh, agile, sparse, humorous, and full of charm.I imitated and learned from it, and later it seemed to be a bit decent.But at this age, my temperament has changed, but I am interested in the style of historical articles in the Han Dynasty in China. It is not so flexible and subtle, euphemistic and gorgeous, but it is heavy but not thick, thick and simple, and the intention is straightforward. White, write with confidence, shock with accuracy, and strike with sharpness.What's more, I'm from the southern part of Shaanxi. The place where I was born and raised is Qintou and Chuwei. My breed has soft elements and beautiful genes, and I've been fond of Ming and Qing writing for a long time, so I can't help being a little frivolous. Slippery signs of playing came out, which really alarmed me.I have to consciously learn the character of the Han Dynasty, so that I can get closer to the sea breeze and mountain bone.But how difficult it is to turn around slightly. When writing, I can’t do what I want. I can often hear the joints making noise when turning around. I have to turn a little bit, stop, turn a little bit, and stop.I sighed and said: Where can I buy a literary pill? In the middle of writing, a literary friend from Tianjin came to Xi'an.She met me and said: Why are you still writing?I said: If a chicken does not lay eggs, it will hold back!After she returned to Tianjin, she wrote an article about me in the newspaper, in which she wrote the concave characters in my name, which inspired me.Some people used to say this concave character, saying it was a valley, a female, a basin, a pit, an inkstone, or an ingot, but she said it was a crater.What she said was interesting, not because she was praising me, I said it was interesting, I think the crater can be understood from various angles.Society is the crater, and creation is the crater.The crater is the exit left by the eruption of lava. It is usually quiet, there are no trees, no grass, no flowers, and birds and animals are not close, but as long as it is alive, its heart is always turbulent and rushing. , and new eruptions may occur at any time.I often have some superstitions, and I always use hints in my life to give myself confidence and strength. After reading Wenyou’s article, I put a huge natural concave stone purchased many years ago on the table. the entire desktop.Back then, I bought it because it looked like a concave character. Now I regard it as a crater, and I hope my writing can be like this. Bring the lamp and say that the weather is so hot that it seems to lift people up and wring water, and I have finished writing this summer.I handed over the manuscript to others for photocopying, and entrusted others to send it to magazines and publishing houses. I no longer cared about what the literary lamps looked like, whether their legs were long, whether they could run far, whether they had wings, or not. Chicken wings or eagle wings, fly high?I didn't care about it at all, and withdrew to the countryside.I hope that this section will hide in the countryside, restore my nature as a farmer, eat grains, drink spring water, inhale the atmosphere of the countryside, bask in the sun in the countryside, and wait for the new impulse to write, so that angels and devils will knock on the door again. This is the age when a person likes "Li Sao" and must read it. I want the sun and the moon to be smooth, and I care about CCTV's news broadcast and weather forecast every night like a lamp, chewing on the truth that the weather is God's will. See the thousands of changes in the world. Wang Jing'an said: Let's take the hairpin and sit and admire the person in the mirror. Jia Pingwa at his home in Beijing in December 2012