Chapter 36 Chapter 1 June

One day in June, she came back. There seems to be an unfair agreement between her and our city. The agreement is written by fate. Our city does not belong to her, but she belongs to this city by nature.She is back again.A fish swims to and fro, and eventually cannot escape a loose net. The nine-day trip to Europe with Mr. Pang in spring has disappeared. What Paris, what Rome, what Eiffel Tower, what Vatican, what she yearned for in Europe, finally turned into some broken landscapes, floating in the memory, shaking her head, Europe Disappeared.What was left was some sperm from Mr. Pang, which fell into the fertile soil like a pile of poisonous weed seeds, and took root in her body.It was an accident.She vaguely remembered the magenta guest room in the chateau on the Loire.Because of the beautiful view of the river outside the window, because of the roses beside the bed, because of a bottle of champagne on the terrace, because of a romantic night that she had never had before, she was moved by Mr. Pang, and the feelings that used to be occasional suddenly became sincere.That night, she did not perfunctory Mr. Pang, allowing Mr. Pang to take off her underwear.Both roses and champagne are harmful. Mr. Pang carefully explored her reluctant sexual desire, amplified it little by little, increased it, and finally became crazy.How the contraceptive method failed, she has no memory at all, she just thinks she is stupid, in order to repay the kindness of one night, she may have to pay the price of a lifetime.

The pregnancy reaction was very strong, and her acting career was forced to stop.The swirling camouflage lights of the bar made her sick, the metaphorical shape of the microphone made her sick, and the rhythm and movement of the singing and dancing made her sick at every turn.One day she was singing on the small stage of the bar. When she sang to the climax, she suddenly vomited in front of the drum set. The filth was sprayed on the drummer, and the drummer fled off the stage with her head in her arms. The guests roared with laughter.Seeing that she was pregnant, the female boss groped her abdomen with her hand, pulled her off the stage and said, "You should go home, singing is singing, money is money, we can't persecute the next generation."

It was the first time she encountered such a trouble, she didn't panic, she just felt frustrated. After dealing with men for so many years, she thought she had a plan, but in the end she still had to pay for it with a woman's body.Not only the boundaries of her body were lost, but also certain firm beliefs in her life were suddenly bankrupt.Why?She didn't love that man, how could she be pregnant with his flesh and blood?She discovered that her weaknesses are like bamboo shoots after the rain. Any rain falls on any corner, and the tips of the bamboo shoots will emerge from the ground unexpectedly. If they want to grow into a bamboo, it is a pity that the weak bamboo shoots will eventually be cut off. Edible.

She is very upset.Either being a rich man, or being a handsome guy, or convincing him, or loving him, these are the criteria for her to choose a boyfriend. To conceive a certain man, she needs the sum of these criteria.Mr. Pang is outside the standard.In her eyes, Mr. Pang is just an ordinary Taiwanese businessman, short, slightly fat, not ugly but not attractive, rich but not rich. As for love, there is no way to talk about it for a while.She has worked in karaoke bars and nightclubs for many years, and has met many brothers and godfathers. The brothers and godfathers have solved a lot of troubles for her.Mr. Pang is different, he is the kind of guest who is between brother and godfather. The relationship between her and him is stickier than brother and more concise than godfather.She always called him Mr. Pang. The heart of this supporter is half-open and half-closed. Some parts are transparent and friendly, some parts are soaked in hormones, and some parts are a blurred shadow, which is difficult to see clearly.She has analyzed Mr. Pang's kindness to her. Rather than saying that Mr. Pang is obsessed with her, it is better to say that Mr. Pang is afraid of loneliness. She is his wound plaster for his homesickness.Her way of thanking Mr. Pang used to be very simple. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and fed him a glass of wine. These were free of charge. If she accompanied him to meet clients, all the drinking and flirting would be included in the labor remuneration. Mr. Pang will give her the most favorite gift, a luxurious handbag and a most fashionable mobile phone.that is it.Their relationship is nothing more than dew.She is very upset.I thought that Mr. Pang's invitation to travel to Europe was the last bonus he would give out. Traveling was a combination of gratitude, escape and relaxation. I thought the trip to Paris would be a relaxing closing ceremony, but I didn't expect it to be a serious opening ceremony.When she left the bar, she heard that the proprietress was consulting a travel agency about travel routes to Europe. The place names of Paris, Rome, and Vienna hurt her heart. She said to the proprietress without thinking, no matter how good Europe is, you can’t pack a suitcase What's the use of bringing it back?waste money!The proprietress said, haven't you just been there?You have already gone to Europe, why can't I go?She knew that such obstruction was too abrupt, and added angrily, I am doing it for your own good, if you have too much money to spend, go there, remember never to go to the Loire River, there is a disaster there, if you go there, you will be ruined Moldy.

Her roommate, Ms. Deep Blue, is also a bar singer, one year younger than her, has already experienced two miscarriages, and was lucky to get the VIP gold card of a maternity hospital.Miss Deep Blue enthusiastically accompanied her to the hospital.The hospital is located in an emerging industrial area, and looks like a leisure club with a unique and humane name: Athena Women's Care Center. Several girls of her age were waiting outside the operating room, with different appearances and figures, but with the same anxious and resentful expressions. This unique team gathered together, and each of them had a secret secret hidden in their abdominal cavity and uterus. A brief summary of life for doctors to read.wrong sex.sexual error.In this day and age, many mistakes are resolved with surgery.There was a double sofa chair that was empty. She and Miss Deep Blue walked over and found that the sofa was covered with a layer of plastic film. When she opened it, the plastic film was covered with bloodstains, and some places looked like a dark red pocket. Some parts of the map are like trickling streams.Both of them covered their hearts and screamed. A woman wearing glasses next to them introduced the origin of the blood to them. She introduced it carefully and calmly. She said that there was a girl with a Chanel bag sitting here just now. She didn't look up for a long time. I thought She was sending text messages. Seeing her lying down slowly, I still thought, why did she still lie down and send text messages?Who would have guessed that she still had a razor blade in her hand, and she came here to cut her wrists!

They escaped the loveseat and moved into the hallway.She casually commented on that girl's weird behavior, she was wearing Chanel, she was sitting outside the operating room, and she even cut her wrists?take things too hard!Miss Shenlan looked back at the sofa, and said, "It's not necessarily because I can't think about it, maybe someone else is thinking about it." The Athena Care Center is busy, and VIPs have to wait.She sat on a bench and listened to her girlfriend talk about her plan to buy a house in Shenzhen. She listened carefully at first, but gradually her mind wandered. The figures of several young men waiting in the corridor reminded her of Mr. Pang.She took out her mobile phone to look for a photo of her and Mr. Pang outside the Loire Castle.Looking at herself first, she looked so happy, with a red rose slanted on her temples, like a witch. After time passed, she wondered why she was so happy at that time.Looking at Mr. Pang again, he is wearing a red scarf and hugging her waist, with a happy and restrained light in his eyes.The viewing angle of the photo conceals Mr. Pang's stature flaws, making him look younger and taller than ever.Pregnancy is delicate and not only changes her, it changes him too.Mr. Pang is the beneficiary.At this moment, Mr. Pang gained a new life in her eyes. He was no longer that lonely and sentimental businessman. He was stationed deep in her body like a man. In the future, she and Mr. Pang suddenly became close.She sighed, and admitted in her heart that the biggest accident had happened quietly: there was a man in the world, she didn't care about him, she didn't love him, but she began to miss him.

She showed her mobile phone screen to her girlfriend for the first time, revealing the true face of Mr. Pang, this Taiwanese businessman, what do you think of him?Miss Deep Blue carefully looked at the photo on the phone, covered her mouth and smiled, she was just a Taiwanese businessman, not very good, far worse than the horse trainer.Knowing that Miss Shenlan was referring to Qu Ying, she felt displeased, put away her phone and said, handsome guys can't be eaten, I actually thought about it a long time ago, what's the use of being handsome?It cannot be exchanged for US dollars. Her decision to forego the appointment came suddenly.There was a girl who looked like a student standing beside her, with a tired face, and dozed off against the wall. She stood up and said to the girl, come sit and sleep while we are leaving.Ms. Deep Blue was very surprised, no more surgery?where are you going?She said, buy a plane ticket, go back to my hometown, and find Mr. Pang.Miss Shenlan said, didn't you swear that you would never return to your hometown?She waved her hand and said with a wry smile, I swear you must not be serious. You have sworn so many vows, becoming a singer, making records, making a fortune in business, finding a prince charming to marry, which one of the vows came true?I swear, I don't even believe it myself now.

When they walked outside the hospital, they saw the busy streets of the industrial zone, and the early summer sun shone on a young southern city. She came and went in this city, but it never became her hometown after all.She patted the trunk of a palm tree by the side of the road and said, fuck it, I'm leaving again.Ms. Shenlan said, sooner or later you have to go, it depends on where you go, last year you said you were going to Japan, this year you said you were going to Australia, but after a lot of trouble, you still have to go back to your hometown.She said, it’s not actually my hometown. You all have hometowns, but I don’t. I’m alone wherever I go.Miss Deep Blue thinks her decision is too hasty, are you sure about him?How are you doing in the future, have you talked seriously?She said, I can't be serious when talking about this kind of thing, let's take a step at a time, anyway, I walk on dark roads, I am used to walking in the dark, and I will go wherever there is light.Miss Deep Blue asked, is that Mr. Pang a bright light?She thought about it seriously, and said, I don't know if it is a bright light, it can be detected this time.