Chapter 9 Chapter nine

what do i sayI knew Heping would not stop there!Since he has his eye on the "Luger 08", he will try his best to get it at any cost.There is a chilling ruthlessness in this kid's heart, as long as it is necessary, even if he is asked to sell his mother and father, he will not blink an eye. Fortunately, I have explained to Secretary Lu a long time ago, and fortunately, I have written a document to arrange the whereabouts of these guns.Otherwise, I can still lie down peacefully right now? A nurse walked into the ward lightly and hung up a large bottle of medicine for me.I asked her, girl, what does this potion do, why does it hang around all day long?She ignored me and went to observe my "vital signs".I said girl, you don't need to look at that stuff, it's useless, it's just for fooling people.She didn't listen to me, but seriously wrote down those numbers.I said you girl, I'm talking to you, why are you so rude?She just turned around, walked straight up to me, and leaned down to look at me.I thought she was going to talk to me, but she suddenly stretched out her hand to open my eyelids, and shone in with a flashlight.I said girl, what are you doing?Without saying a word, she opened another eyelid to take a picture.I'm not happy, I said, you think I'm a hole, and you still use a flashlight to shine in?These are the eyes, whose eyes can withstand your swaying like this!She ignored me, took care of her eyes, and then turned me over like a sackbag.I said ouch, the lower leg is pressed, you have to pull it out for me.She walked out without looking back.My anger immediately went to my forehead, and I shouted from behind, come back to me!You little girl...

I heard someone laughing "cheating" next to me. who? !I asked in surprise. it's me.The voice answered with a smile. You boy, I'm relieved, when did you come? It's been a while. Why didn't you hear anything? I hid aside, watching you being played around by that little girl like a sack, it's really interesting. Are you so interesting, you guy?You come up and try? Don't yell, don't yell, it's useless.You kept yelling at him just now, but he couldn't hear you at all. Strange, how can you hear it? Don't you think about it, am I the same as them?They listen with their ears, and what they hear is sound.I listen with my heart, and what I listen to is my intention.

By the way, I remembered, you are different.what about me?What's the matter with me?Why can I hear everything and see everything? You, what do you say?You Wazi looked hesitant to speak, and thought for a while before saying, even if he was temporarily in the middle. What does middle mean. The middle is a transition between the two worlds. transition?Is it the transition to your side? Not necessarily, maybe you can pass here, maybe you can go back there, it depends on the specific situation. How long does it take to transition? It's hard to say, some people have a long time, some people have a short time, it depends on the specific situation.

It's not fucking dead, it's better to live happily if you want to die, and you have to spend some time in the middle!Laozi has always advocated being a rightist if he is not a leftist. When has he ever been a centrist? Youwazi glanced at me, and said leisurely, Hanwazi, don't be stubborn, no one dares to say that they have never wandered in the middle of the world for a few times in their lives... I immediately became short of breath, lowered my voice and said, You Wazi, are you still blaming me? No, Youwazi smiled, there is no cause but no effect, there is cause and effect, why should I blame you?

Youwazi ran all the way crying, his eyes were red and swollen from rubbing, and he cried out out of breath, the West Route Army was defeated...defeated, more than 20,000 people...all gone Yes, the military commander and political commissar are... honored... It was time to eat dinner, and the rice bowl in my hand fell to the ground with a "croak" and shattered.We all cried, especially those of us who came from the Fourth Front Army of the Red Army, weeping so hard.There are many people we know well in the West Route Army, some of them are from the same hometown, and they ran out together to join the Red Army. How many vicious battles have we fought through life and death together!Everyone can't accept this fact, so many good brothers, why are they all over all of a sudden?

Then began to criticize Zhang Guotao's mistakes.It was nothing at first. Although we came from the Fourth Red Army and were under Zhang Guotao, we didn't feel that we had much to do with Zhang Guotao's mistakes.We, like everyone else, denounced Zhang Guotao's erroneous behavior in attempting to split the Red Army and establish a separate central government.But gradually the situation changed, and Zhang Guotao elements began to be caught among the members of the Red Fourth Front Army. I worked in Zhang Guotao's guard, so people naturally think that I am closer to Zhang Guotao than others.In fact, there are too many people in Zhang Guotao's guards, and there are only a few people who can follow him closely. Those who are like me can't get close at all.But I couldn't speak my brain at that time, and I wasn't as refined as Youwazi.When I am happy, I grin my mouth and brag about how strong the Fourth Front Army is and how well-equipped its weapons and equipment are.He also said that the Central Red Army doesn't have the right clothes and equipment. Compared with the Red Fourth Army, it's like a lazy woman standing next to a handsome daughter-in-law.Thinking about it afterwards, what I said at the time was a bit too much, and there was no charter.But these words were all said when I first joined the Central Red Army. At that time, although people felt uncomfortable after hearing it, they would not take me seriously.But now that Zhang Guotao is going to be liquidated, these things have been brought up again.

Huang Zhenzhong was the first to stand up and expose me, saying that I was a member of Zhang Guotao, that I was at least Zhang Guotao's disciple and grandson.The main evidence he used to expose me was that I had told him that Mao Zedong didn't even say hello to Zhang Guotao, and left quietly overnight. Huang Xingzhong said, Zhou Han is obviously lying!He is looking for an excuse for Zhang Guotao to split the Red Army, and he is belittling Comrade Mao Zedong! As soon as I heard it, I quit, jumped up and shouted, whoever lies is a bastard! Huang Xingzhong said, who lied?It's you who lied!How could Comrade Mao Zedong leave without saying hello?

I said how did I know why I didn't say hello, anyway, we went to see them the next day and they withdrew overnight the night before, without even seeing a single person. Huang Zhenzhong said, Zhou Han, this is the time, you still don't want to repent, you still want to continue to be Zhang Guotao's apprentice and grandson! I said, fart, I don't want to be his bald son and grandson! Everyone laughed. Seeing that it was done like this, the captain hurriedly yelled to break up the meeting, and arranged for You Wazi to come down to do my ideological work. Youwazi said to me anxiously, Hanwazi, why are you still talking about it?

I said I didn't tell the truth, what I told was the truth. Youwazi said, you are confused, the truth is not easy to say casually at any time, you think this is growing crops, and you will grow whatever you plant?This is a struggle. If you plant a bean, maybe a wasp will grow out, which will sting you to death! I said, no matter how you tell the truth, you are right! Youwazi said, Hanwazi, you are such a deadhead, you don't even understand this, but it's right to tell the truth about small things, but you can't tell the truth about everything about big things. I said, You Wazi are the ones who speak the truth. To be loyal to the party is to tell the truth to the party. It is right to tell the truth about major and minor matters.

Youwazi said, for example, the current situation is a struggle between two lines, one line is the party, and the other line is Zhang Guotao.It is obvious that it was wrong for Zhang Guotao to set up a separate central government to split things up. If the truth you tell is beneficial to Zhang Guotao, isn't it disloyal to the party?So, the truth cannot be told. Don't tell me, what Youwazi is talking about is really reasonable.I said, what do you think I should say? Youwazi saw that the seam had been pried open, and immediately pointed to me happily, don't mention the matter of Lianghekou again, you have to say that Zhang Guotao later said that he would not let you go with the Central Red Army, and even vomited a big carrot on your face Mile.

I said, You Wazi, you know that Zhang Guotao didn't speak at that time. Youwazi said, isn't he talking when he spit out a big radish in your face?He was ruthless in his heart, so you should speak out for him the ruthless words he said in his heart.Then, you said that you saw something wrong with him at the time, so you didn't listen to that, and resolutely drew a line with him and left with the Central Red Army. I said in surprise, You Wazi, you are telling me to lie. Youwazi said to me very seriously, Hanwazi, listen carefully, this is not a lie, it is a strategy of struggle.Whether you understand the strategy or not, the strategy is how to benefit the party! Immediately I lost my teeth. Later, I forced my head to speak according to Youwazi's words.But I'm not as slippery as Youwazi said, and my mouth stutters like garlic.While I was talking, I took a peek at Huang Xingzhong, Huang Xingzhong had a look of surprise and suspicion, and he was looking at me with his eyes.I panicked right then, my face turned red to the base of my neck, and I was so ashamed that I wanted to put my head in my crotch. After that, no one really found out that I was a member of Zhang Guotao, and Huang Zhenzhong never said that I was Zhang Guotao's disciple and grandson, and they held me tight.I didn't wake up until I saw Zhang Guotao's followers tied up and taken away one by one and locked up for review.Really, if it weren't for Youwazi, I would have almost stood on the opposite side of the party. If it weren't for Youwazi, I might be wronged right now.Still, Youwazi has a charter. I think it's right to do what Youwazi says. It's good for the party and yourself. There are so many things that I really can’t say. You think you have figured out a principle, and you will act according to it in the future, but the same principle and the same approach can make a huge difference in the result.Who would have thought that at the beginning I would save myself by following Youwazi's principles, but later I would harm Youwazi if I followed Youwazi's principles? It really made Youwazi talk: planting beans and growing a wasp, stinging himself to death. When do you think about it and when do you get startled?In the early days of the Anti-Japanese War, our regiment leader was seriously injured in a battle.That shuttle bullet swept across from below, and hit the regiment leader's lower body with the whole leg.The devils rushed from behind, and Youwazi and I couldn't keep up with the head of the group.Li Yefu, the political commissar, saw that it was not good, so he ordered the two of us to hide in the cave with the regiment leader, avoid the limelight, and then go after the troops.Before leaving, Li Yefu stared at the eyes like cow eggs, and said that I gave the leader to you two, and even if you two died on the way, you still have to send the leader to me! We hid in the cave for two whole days.In the past two days, let's not mention the crime that the head of the group suffered.The head of the regiment is a tough guy, usually he doesn't even frown when he gets hurt, but this time it's different, unless he can be quiet for a while when he passed out, as soon as he wakes up, he will tremble with pain, his teeth are knocking, his eyes Zibao protruded as if it was about to pop out.If I couldn't stand it, I rolled all over the floor. Youwazi and I couldn't hold it.Youwazi shouted, Captain, you have to hold on!As long as you persist, we will send you back even if we die!The captain opened his bloodshot eyes and looked at us hopefully, then opened his mouth and let out a short single sound from his throat, and we quickly stuffed a length of rolled leggings into the captain's mouth.The head of the group bit the thing so hard that his face was deformed, and beads of sweat dripped down his trembling body.I don't know how long it took, the head of the group loosened up and passed out. Only then did Youwazi and I recover, and quickly put the head of the group in order with tears in our eyes, and took the battered leggings out of the head's mouth. Take it out.That situation was really uncomfortable, scratching my heart and scratching my heart, it was infinitely more painful than hurting myself. On the third morning, when Youwazi and I woke up, we found that the regiment leader had already woken up.The strange thing is that not only did the leader not get sick, but he sat quietly leaning against the wall of the cave.Seeing the scene in front of us, both of us thought that the head of the group was done, so we happily jumped to the head of the group and shouted.After shouting for a long time, the head of the group did not move at all.I leaned over to look at the head of the group, and saw the head of the group staring wide-eyed, staring straight at his injured lower body in a daze.I said how are you, head?The head didn't respond.Youwazi also said, Captain, you are doing well!The leader still didn't respond at all.I carefully pushed the head of the group, and the head of the group suddenly trembled as if frightened, and then let out a long and shrill howl from his mouth. I have never heard such a terrifying cry in my life. The beast-like screams are mixed with the maddening sound of metal tearing. It is simply not the sound that human organs can make.I was stunned. The desperation and madness that erupted from the group leader's long howl pierced my eardrum like a sharp weapon and reached my heart, as if twisting back and forth between my internal organs.I felt that my heart seemed to be twisted tightly into a ball, convulsing and sending out bursts of heart-piercing pain. Suddenly, the howling stopped abruptly.The head of the regiment frantically picked up the box cannon and pressed his head against it.I was stunned at the time, I just looked at the head of the group motionlessly, and couldn't even speak.It was Youwazi who reacted quickly, and Youwazi threw himself on the head of the group, and twisted with the head of the group. The leader said, let go, you...you let me go! Youwazi said, head, you can't do this, you can't do this! After all, the head of the regiment was physically weak, and the gun was snatched away by You Wazi in twos and threes. The head of the regiment lay on the ground with his back to the sky, panting and said, you... give me the gun...! Youwazi stepped back and said, No!No! The head said, I... order you... to give me the gun...! But Youwazi burst into tears.Youwazi cried and said, Captain, you will be fine.Don't worry, we will try our best to send you back! I also cried and said, Captain, you can't do this!Even if we risk our lives, we will send you back, let's go back together!You must not do this! The head of the group panted heavily, closed his eyes tightly and did not speak for a long time.After a while, the head of the group said, I... can't get better... my lower body... all... are smashed... Youwazi hurriedly said, it will be cured, commander, as long as we return to the army, we will be cured. I also said, Captain, you suffered such a serious injury last time, didn’t you heal even the intestines came out?It will be fine this time, it will definitely be fine... The leader suddenly opened his eyes and shouted, you know what a fart!Then he closed his eyes and gasped and said, you don't understand...this injury...is different...you should know, I'm not a coward!The head of the regiment tore off the collar suddenly and said, have you seen this scar?When I picked the bullets out from here, I drank two sips of wine, and survived without even humming.No matter how serious the injury is, I have never been afraid of it!But this time...it's different, this time it's an injury...it hurts to the root! Do you know what men are most afraid of?The head of the group stared at the bloodshot eyes and shouted, the most afraid of hurting the root!If you hurt your roots, you won't be able to live!Can't live, do you understand? !As he spoke, the head of the group began to bang his head against the wall of the cave, making a whining sound while bumping. I was stunned, and I found that what flowed from the leader's eyes was not tears, but blood, bright red blood! ... Those bloody eyes stared at me wide and said, Zhou Han, I don't accept it, I refuse to accept it to the death!I don't believe it... It was almost noon when the leader passed out again.Youwazi said, Hanwazi, it seems that the head's injury can't be dragged on any longer, we have to leave today.Hurry up to the bottom of the mountain to find something to eat and make some preparations, we will leave as soon as it gets dark! Before walking out of the cave, I looked back at the leader.In a coma, the expression on the head's face was very calm, and a beam of sunlight shot in from the hole, dyed the head's bleeding face with a flush of life. I came back in the evening.As soon as he approached the entrance of the cave, he heard a "bang" gunshot from inside.I was startled, and rushed into the hole with a stride.I saw the head of the regiment sitting with his back against the rock wall, his face covered with blood, and Youwazi's pole made of Hanyang resting on his chin. I screamed, the head——!The head of the group seemed to have opened his eyes and looked at it. At this moment, Han Yangzao suddenly fell down with a "bang", and the head of the group also fell down with a bang. Head -!I rushed forward desperately. Head -!Youwazi, who had been standing blankly to the side, also rushed over. We yelled at the head of the group and shook his body desperately, but the head of the group couldn't wake up again.We watched helplessly as the leader's life flowed out of his body with the hot blood foam, and the leader slowly became cold and hardened as we shouted. When I withdrew my hand from the leader's body, I couldn't help being startled.Not only were my hands covered with bright red blood, but there were also many red and white sticky things that looked like tofu brains!I yelled and jumped up, grabbed Youwazi by the front and lifted him up. I said, what is going on with Youwazi?I said You Wazi, tell me what is going on here? ! Youwazi burst into tears with a "wow".Youwazi cried and told me that the head of the group started to twitch after waking up in the afternoon. When he was twitching, his whole body stretched back, like a fish struggling desperately before dying, his teeth were clenched and his lips and tongue were all bitten.The head of the regiment woke up for a while, and every time he woke up, he asked Youwazi for a gun.At first it was an order, and later it was a begging. The team leader said, You Wazi, since you have been with me for so many years, you can shoot me and finish me off. The head of the group said, You Wazi, if you really can't do it, just give me back my pistol and let me solve it myself. Youwazi cried and said, "Hanwazi, I really can't stand it. Seeing the crimes suffered by the leader, and seeing such a tough guy begging me with tears, my heart was crushed.To be honest, I really want to help...help the head of the group solve it, but I can't help it anyway.Later, the group leader stopped begging and just looked at the entrance of the cave silently after waking up.At that moment, I noticed that the eyes of the head of the group changed and became very strange. It seemed that there were many things in it, and it seemed empty and empty.I started to feel that something was wrong, that something was going to happen.I kept saying in my heart, Hanwazi, come back soon, Hanwazi, come back soon.Guessing that you are coming back, I said, head, let me move in for you, the sun is about to set.The head of the group said no, please help me move to the entrance of the cave, I want to breathe.I helped the leader move to the entrance of the cave and let him lean there... Speaking of this, You Wazi's eyes went straight, and he was speechless for a long time. I said, You Wazi, how did the good leader build Hanyang... Youwazi stood up slowly as if in hysteria, walked slowly outside, and murmured as he walked, I didn't notice, I didn't notice that Hanyang was placed at the entrance of the cave... Youwazi suddenly turned around and said eagerly, I thought I would be fine if I took away the box cannon of the regiment leader. I forgot that Hanyang Zao put it at the entrance of the cave, I put it there, I put it there! ——Youwazi knelt down beside the head of the group with a "plop", knocked his head on the ground with a "thump" sound, and kept crying, "Boss, I hurt you, I hurt you!" ——Youwazi wouldn't let me do it when I was scrubbing the regiment leader.As soon as I stretched out my hand, he yelled at me like a madman: Don't move!He held the head of the group in his arms, as if he was afraid of disturbing the head of the group, he scrubbed gently one by one, crying while wiping.After packing up the head of the group, it was completely dark. I asked Youwazi what to do with the leader? Youwazi replied without hesitation, we promised the leader to send him back, so we must send him back! I said yes, the same sentence, even if you risk your life, you have to send the regiment leader back to the army! You Wazi. Ok? You said, if you had explained the situation to Li Yefu's political commissar as soon as you returned to the army, would you have avoided the troubles in the future? Hard to say. However, we were speechless at the time.I heard that we were discovered by a patrol post. When we found out, we thought all three of them were dead. After a closer look, the two were still a little angry, so we were carried to the regiment headquarters together. It was day three when I woke up. Me too, fell asleep for two hours more than you. I opened my eyes and asked, where is the head?The health captain red-eyed Basa said, don't worry, the team leader has already settled down.I said I wanted to see Commissar Li, and I had something to say to him.The head of the health team called the political commissar.As soon as I saw Political Commissar Li, I cried for a long time and couldn't speak.Political Commissar Li comforted me and said, needless to say, the situation is already clear.You two did a great job.He sighed again and said, alas, the head's injury is really too serious.I'm also to blame, I shouldn't have left you behind at the time, just gritted your teeth and withdrew them together.I thought the political commissar knew everything, so I didn't go any further. Yes, I woke up later than you. I thought you had said everything I needed to say, so I didn't say anything else.Besides, I don't want to mention that part of the matter, I feel uncomfortable, so I don't mention it if I can. I remember that the head of the regiment was buried in the mountain where the regiment headquarters was stationed. yes. Did you visit it later? I went there once when the Liberation War went south, but I couldn't find it.After asking the villagers, they all said that a regiment leader was indeed buried in the mountain, but later I heard that the regiment leader died a bit strangely, as if he committed suicide, so no one wanted to take care of that grave anymore.The fellow said that it has been so many years, and the graves may have been leveled long ago.After that, I never went there again. ... You never saw me once. yes. Why, am I so worthless? No, you boy, I dare not go.I'm so ashamed that I can't face you... After burying the head of the regiment, the troops quickly left that area and retreated to the rear. On the way back, one night I was woken up by Huang Xingzhong just as I fell asleep.Huang Xingzhong's voice was urgent, speaking of it, the political commissar told you to go to the regiment headquarters immediately.I got up and walked out quickly.Looking outside, Youwazi was also called up.I asked the political commissar what he wanted us to do, Huang Xingzhong said something in the dark, and we'll know when we get there.As soon as we got there, we were tied up. It turned out that Huang Xingzhong reported Youwazi and me.Huang Xingzhong said that he suspected that there was something wrong with the leader's death, and said that when he saw that the leader was brought back and was scrubbed so clean, he thought there was something wrong with it.The road was so tough, how could Youwazi and the others have the time and energy to scrub the leader?So he kept his eyes open and carefully inspected the body of the leader, only to find a gunshot wound on the leader's head.Everyone knew that the head of the regiment was only wounded on his lower body. Where did the gunshot wound on his head come from?Huang Xingzhong suggested that the reasons for the sacrifice of the head of the regiment should be investigated. At that time, Yan'an was carrying out a rectification movement and censored cadres. I heard that many Kuomintang spies who had infiltrated into us were dug out.So, after hearing Huang Xingzhong's report, Li Yefu's political commissar felt that the matter was serious, so he decided to look at Youwazi and me before talking about it. I never knew how Youwazi told the story. The two of us were not locked together, and the inquiries were separated.I remember that the last time Li Yefu came to the place where I was detained to talk alone.At that time, I was already going crazy with anger, scolding whoever caught me. As soon as Li Yefu came in, he turned around and ordered the guards to watch the door and not let anyone approach while we were talking. I said political commissar, what are you going to do with me? Without saying a word, Li Yefu took out a handful of yellow tobacco leaves from his pocket, rolled a cigarette and handed it to me. I turned my head and said, what do you want to ask, you just ask! No more questions, Li Yefu said, the problem has been basically clarified, and it has nothing to do with you. I said I made it clear a long time ago, it doesn't matter, why didn't you let me go back? Li Yefu said that some things still need to be implemented.Smoke a cigarette. I said no smoking, if you want to implement it, you should implement it quickly, I am almost suffocated to death. Li Yefu thought for a while and asked, Zhou Han, how about the leader? My eyes were red, and I said that the head of the regiment is a good man, a man, the head of the regiment is loyal to the revolution, brave in battle, and always rushes to the front in wars. Li Yefu's eyes were also red, and he said yes, I almost rolled down the mountain during the Long March. If he hadn't risked his life to hold my foot, and persisted until everyone came to drag me up, I would have revolutionized at that time It's over. After being silent for a while, Li Yefu asked me again, Zhou Han, do you know the nature of suicide? I said I don't know, why does suicide still have the nature? Li Yefu glanced at me and said, suicide, if you say it lightly, is an act of cowardice and a coward; if you say it seriously, it is abandoning the revolution and betraying the revolutionary team. I flickered in my heart for a while, I said political commissar, the head of the regiment is not a coward, the head of the regiment did not betray the revolutionary team! If the head of the group really committed suicide as you said, it must be so.Li Yefu stared at me and said. I was immediately taken aback.Desperately grabbed Li Yefu's hand, shook it vigorously and said, Political Commissar, you can't make such a decision for the head of the regiment.You don't know the crime that the leader suffered, no one can bear it!Political commissar, we can't be sorry to the leader, you have to say something fair to the leader at this time! Li Yefu lowered his head and let me sway like that. After a long time, he sighed and said, if he decides to commit suicide, not only the head of the regiment will be finished, but our regiment will also lose its head. I sat down on my ass, totally dumbfounded. After a long time, I raised my head and asked Li Yefu, political commissar, is there nothing I can do?Political commissar, you have many ways, and you will always find a way. Hurry up and think of a way for the regiment leader and our regiment! Li Yefu murmured, "I thought of a way, but I'm afraid you... I said political commissar, as long as I am worthy of the leader and our regiment, I can do whatever you want me to do! Li Yefu's eyes lit up immediately, and said Zhou Han, what I want is your words!Then he asked me, Zhou Han, did you see it when the commander shot? I said I saw it. Did you see him with a gun? I don't. Did you see him put the gun to his chin? ……No. Did you see him pull the trigger? ……No. How do you say you saw it? I said I heard gunshots, and I ran into the cave to have a look... Li Yefu interrupted me and said, Zhou Han, you actually didn't see anything, the head of the regiment was already dead when you entered! ... Li Yefu said, Zhou Han, I just ask you to admit that you didn't see anything, and that the regiment leader was dead when you ran into the cave. How did the leader die?I am confused. Li Yefu said that the shot was fired by Youwazi... My head exploded immediately with a bang, and I said it was impossible!This is simply impossible!I said, political commissar, Youwazi would not do such a thing, I know Youwazi, it is impossible for him to do this! Li Yefu said, how do you say the head of the regiment died? It was suicide. According to you, the head of the regiment is a coward and betrayed the revolution? No!no! According to you, our regiment will have to carry this shit on our heads from now on? ! No!No! Then what do you say? !Li Yefu's eyes bulged out like cow eggs, he slapped the table vigorously and said, ah?What do you propose? ! I... I pulled my hair fiercely and murmured, I don't know, I don't know... Well, Zhou Han, Li Yefu said, since you don’t know, just do as I tell you. Li Yefu stepped forward and patted me on the shoulder and said, Zhou Han, let me remind you here that you are a member of the Communist Party. Communist Party members must consider the overall situation when thinking about problems and doing things. Do what is beneficial to the revolution.Do you think it makes sense? I said what about the oil boy?What about Youwazi? ! Li Yefu said that Youwazi can accept the censorship first, and then find a way to release him after the matter is over. I said the political commissar, you have to make sure to free the oil boy. Li Yefu said, I promise. I said, political commissar, you... give me a cigarette. Hanwazi, do you remember the last time we met? Why don't you remember.You yelled to see me, saying that Zhou Han can prove that I did not shoot and kill the head of the regiment, and that Zhou Han can prove that I am not a Kuomintang spy!But when I went there, I told you, you boy, don’t blame me. The political commissar said that only by saying this can we be worthy of the head of the regiment and keep our regiment.Only doing so is beneficial to the party and beneficial to the revolution.You are in a hurry, say Zhou Han, then you can't speak indistinctly, you have to tell the truth!I just said, You Wazi, didn’t you say that you can’t tell the truth about everything in major issues, it depends on the situation, and you need to talk about strategies?Didn't you say that strategy is what is beneficial to the party?You just stared and opened your mouth wide, unable to speak a word.I said Youwazi, Youwazi, don't worry, the political commissar said that he would free you when the matter is over.You stared at me in a daze, and suddenly let out an "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" But I still didn't believe that I was finished like this, and I still held on to a glimmer of hope.When Huang Zhenzhong came to collect my gun, I was so impatient, I picked up the Hanyang made and jumped to the corner, shouting, let's see who dares to use my gun!Huang Xingzhong said, you boy, what do you want to do? !I said Huang Xingzhong's shot is my life!The bullets have already been taken away by you, so why take it away when there is only an empty shell left?I can't do without this gun, can't I just let it stay with me? !Huang Xingzhong said, no, this gun is the evidence that you killed the regiment leader, you can't keep the evidence in your hands!As soon as I heard this, I was instantly enraged, and irrationally raised my gun and smashed it, screaming like crazy, I let you be evidence, I smashed your evidence!You harmed the leader and came to harm me again, let's see if I don't smash you... You were so crazy that you broke the handle of the gun. When the handle of the gun broke with a "click", I heard a muffled sound in my body, as if something supporting my body was also broken at the same time. I suddenly trembled in pain, my legs went limp, and I fell to my knees with a thump. on the ground.I knew then that I was done, all over.I held up half of the Hanyang, leaned over it and started crying, crying for the gun, and crying for myself. You boy, at the time I never thought that Li Yefu's guarantee would be negligible later. I don't blame him, the rumors of the interrogation became more and more serious later, Huang Zhenzhong saw that Li Yefu had not dealt with me for a long time, so he skipped the report and even sued Li Yefu for his right leaning.After someone directly intervened from above, Li Yefu couldn't control the situation. But I refused to admit it life and death, I said Zhang Guotao was an idiot, and it would be wrong for me to be his father, so why should I be him.Later, I suddenly changed my attitude and began to investigate whether I was suspected of being a Kuomintang spy. Your execution was very sudden, no one kept it from me beforehand, and it was too late when I knew about it. I'm hiding it from you because I'm afraid you'll make trouble. If I knew that I would make a fuss, maybe I would rob you and go up the mountain as a beard in a hurry. I won't go with you, that's a betrayal of the revolution. Yes, you would rather die than let me rob you and betray the revolution.I heard that you only made one request when you saw the hole dug for you, and you should shout slogans.Huang Xingzhong asked what you wanted to shout, and you said I wanted to shout Long Live the Communist Party!Shout down the Kuomintang!Huang Xingzhong said that you are a Kuomintang spy and have no right to shout, so he pushed you into the pit.You just stomped your feet in the pit and started cursing, you said Huang Xingzhong, you have the guts to dig out my heart, and let everyone see whether it is red or black!The people present at that time were all shocked and stopped for a while.Only Huang Xingzhong's face remained calm.Huang Xingzhong calmly shoveled a shovel of soil into your mouth and said, You Wazi, I really want to dig out your heart and liver to pay homage to the head of the group!It's a pity that those donkey dung balls in your cavity are not worthy!You spit out the dirt in your mouth and shouted, Huang Xingzhong, you are cruel to Zhongliang. In the next life, I will dig out your heart to see if you are pretending to be a donkey. Shit balls!Huang Xingzhong sneered, I am killing harm for the revolution and avenging the head of the regiment!Let me tell you, if you sabotage the revolution in the next life, I, Huang Xingzhong, will still not let you go!After speaking, he took the lead in raising the soil. I knew it when you went to find me, I saw you running all the way crying like crazy, pawing and pawing hard on the ground with your hands, until your hands were covered with blood.I saw you pulling out my head and holding it in your hands, crying, saying, Youwazi, I hurt you, I hurt you.I just kept telling you, Hanwazi, I don’t blame you for this, but I can only blame myself.But no matter what I say, you can't hear me, so I know you and I are already in two worlds.I want you to take that half of Hanyang as a reminder, but I don’t know how to tell you. I was so anxious that I saw you saw that half of Hanyang, and saw you holding Hanyang tightly in your arms. In my arms, I left crying, and I was relieved. People, you can't do bad things in this life.This incident made me regret for a lifetime. Whenever I saw that half of Hanyang made, I never felt a good feeling. Hanzi, don't always blame yourself, thinking that my death is caused by you not telling the truth.Don't even think about it, could you save me by telling the truth? At least I won't regret it, and I won't make myself look down on myself! uncertain.Think about it, if you had told the truth at that time, I am afraid that I would not be the only one who was destroyed.If you caused more losses because you told the truth, can you not regret it?Han Wazi, why do you always think that only telling lies requires paying a price?In fact, telling the truth often pays a higher price.Otherwise, why is it so difficult to tell the truth? Yeah, I often don't know whether to tell the truth or lie.Sometimes I am wrong in telling the truth and right in lying; sometimes I am wrong in lying and right in telling the truth.I was confused, thinking that I was always wrong. You, you haven't figured this out all your life, so you take the responsibility on yourself.The sky creates momentum, and people do things.人都是在势中做事的，不光是你，还有李冶夫、黄振中，包括我油娃子，哪个人做事能不受势的影响？ 照你这么说，谁做错事都可以推到势上了，谁都可以说自己没责任了？ 这倒是。虽说是天造势人做事，但是人如果都顺势做事就可以帮助天把势造大。如果人都逆势做事，势就会衰，就有可能造出另一种势来。所以，从这个道理上讲，势也是人造的。 可是人在势中，要逆势做事可就太难了。 是啊，所以我才说讲实话往往付出的代价更大。 油娃子。 Ok? 你……心里真不怨恨我？ 不怨恨。还是那句话，无因无果，有因有果，凭啥怨你？ 这话怎么讲？ 记得我把那杆汉阳造放在洞口了吗？ Remember. 记得我说过我看见团长苏醒后一直默默地望着洞口吗？ Remember. 记得是我帮着团长挪到洞口的吗？ Remember. That's it. 油娃子，我不懂。 人的心理有时是很矛盾的，在不知道自己该怎么做的时候，往往就会下意识地欺骗自己，对自己说，我不知道，我没看见，我忘了自己把枪放在洞口了…… 油娃子！ 川川把我那条压在下面的腿拽出来，摆顺当了，轻轻地揉捏着。只觉得血脉一下子畅通了，浑身都透着舒服，还是这丫头知道疼人。 小京进来了，穿着白大褂，看来她是利用上班时间抽空过来看看。小京皱着眉头在床边转了一圈，伸手就按响了呼叫按钮。一个护士跑来问有什么事，小京没好气地说，尿袋满了。护士一脸的不高兴，但还是把尿倒了。护士走后，川川说小京，你叫她们干什么，我倒不就得了。小京满不在乎地说，这本来就是她们的分内工作嘛。接着就开始发牢骚，说现在高干病房真是越来越差劲了，治疗上能对付过去就不给你用好药，护理上能推的活都推给家属。川川小心地看了看门口说，算了算了，爸爸在这住着，咱们还得注意和他们科里搞好关系。小京说，川川咱用不着，这栋楼里像老爷子这样大军区正职的干部有几个？我告诉你，真用不着跟他们客气。上回我们家老爷子住院我回北京，一开始也像你似的，什么事都小心翼翼地跟人家商量，结果你越敬着他们，他们就越跟你牛。后来老爷子旁边那个病房住进来个在职干部，论职务比我们家老爷子低两极呢，结果从院领导到下面一班人走马灯似的排着队来打溜须。一样的病，人家有什么好药用什么好药，我们用点药可倒好，医务部批完了院领导批，费那个事不说还不一定能批下来。我哥就火了，逮个茬就跟科主任干起来了。科主任开始还想硬顶硬把我哥压住，小兵那个脾气你也不是不知道，他可不管那套，几句话不对劲就上手了，我们家保卫干事和秘书两个人上去才把他拉住。当时院长正好在那个在职干部的病房里坐着，听到外面有动静一起出来看，一听旁边病房住的是李冶夫，那个在职干部立刻就说，哟，这可是我的老首长，我得看看老首长去，说着就进了老爷子的病房。这下子全结了，从此院里拿我们家老爷子可当回事了，有求必应。川川说，其实院里对爸爸还是挺重视的，刚来那天院长就亲自参加了全院会诊，抢救的时候也来看了看。小京说，这算啥呀？噢，大军区正职抢救院长不露面能行吗？要是军区首长询问情况，当院长的一问三不知还得现问下面，他这个院长还想不想干了？川川说，爸爸都离休这么多年了，不能跟在任首长比，我看院里能像现在这样对待咱们就挺不错了。小京就说，川川你这人呀就是太窝囊，什么事都不争。我就不信那个劲，凭什么老爷子就不能跟他们在任首长比？说实在的，老爷子爬雪山过草地那会儿，他们还不知道在哪个腿肚子里转筋呢？川川叹了口气说，现在谁还提那些事呀，人家能表面上敬着你就不错了，心里谁也不会把这些离休老头儿当回事的。如果非要和人家现任的比，那就是自己跟自己过不去了。小京说，那咱们也不能太软了呀！咱家还不至于吧，不管怎么说南征还是军区机关一个部长，好赖咱俩还是本院工作人员呢。真要有什么事，咱们上面不是还有刘希文吗？再不行，让我哥找“小不点儿”说句话，看不吓死他们几个！川川就笑了，说好好的你怎么像跟谁打架似的，又要搬这个，又要搬那个的。什么事都没有，你自己倒先生了一顿气。你呀，就是气性太大了。小京也说，谁知道我是怎么搞的，一说这些事就来气。其实我是想来告诉你，南征下部队去了，爸爸这边有什么事你别太将就，有事咱俩一起上院里找，不行就找军区去！ 小京总算走了，病房里这才清静下来。我不太喜欢小京，这孩子太计较，成天找茬子叽叽，这种老婆真不知道南征怎么能受得了。 南征和小京的事是于恩华瞒着我一手促成的。告诉我的时候，他们已经准备结婚了。当时我很吃惊，但由于在孩子的个人问题上我和川川、东进都闹得很不愉快，也就懒得再管南征的事了，再说我对南征也比较信任。看他们娘俩像接受审判似的看着我，惟恐我开口反对的那副紧张样，我也就没说啥。 油娃子。 Ok? 刚才你上哪去了？ 我看见川川进来了，就躲到一边哩。 没事，你不用躲，她看不见你。 那也不好。 有什么不好的，你在这别走，咱俩聊聊话。 你想聊什么？ 还不是咱们过去那些事。 这几天聊得不少了呢。 怎么总像是没聊够、没聊透呢。 这就对了，“够”和“透”也是境界哩。有欲则无够，有孽则不透。你的欲和孽都没消，怎么可能把俗事看够，怎么可能把尘缘参透呢？ 这种诘牙话老子听不懂。 听得懂就听，听不懂就不听。听，未必就能真懂；不听；未必真就不懂。 好了好了，油娃子，既然你懂那么多就给我解释解释，我现在整天躺在床上这算是咋回事。 这是给你补缺哩。 什么叫补缺？ 人这一辈子甜酸苦辣、坐卧行走，什么都是有定数的，缺哪样都一准在离开之前给你找回来。你这辈子太隆兴，太好动，老老实实躺着的时候太少了，现在就是给你补这个缺哩。 油娃子你讲屁话哄我，我活了几十年了，啥都经过了，啥都不缺了，要说缺应该是你缺呀，你那么早就走了，离开前怎么就没见给你补过什么缺呢？ 我那种死法不就是补缺嘛。 浑讲！ Do not believe?不信你把前前后后的经过细想想，不是补缺又是个啥？ 油娃子，油娃子，你别走呀！