Chapter 2 1. The gloomy days made her want to go as far as possible

Originally, she thought that she could escape the city tonight and return to her hometown to start a new life.Unexpectedly, the ending would be like this... Two lines of hot tears welled up from Yu Xiaoman's confused eyes, she didn't wipe them with the back of her hand, and the tears flowed freely. Life is like standing on the edge of an abyss. Before you fall, you don’t care about your dangerous situation, but once you fall, it is very difficult to be saved; and how easy it is to fall, as long as you take a wrong step ! Which step did Yu Xiaoman take wrong? Yu Xiaoman looked at a small five-watt light bulb in the center of the ceiling of the detention center through her tearful eyes. The dim yellow light emitted from there told her that the night here is long and endless.She listened intently to the deathly silence around her, and suddenly thought sadly that perhaps she would be accompanied by this deathly silence for the rest of her life.

A whopping half a million dollars—and that fatal ring.What's going on here?Once upon a time, she was an innocent and poor girl, but in an instant, everything changed, she suddenly became a rich man, and suddenly became the gathering place of all the criminal evidence.Economic crimes, murder and robbery... But these givers have a double identity: they are her benefactors and criminals... Yes, she will not say their names, even if they die.Fortunately, before that, when she and Zhao Limin walked out of the office building of the Criminal Investigation Brigade of the Public Security Bureau, she took advantage of the unpreparedness and swallowed the letter in her underwear pocket in the dark night inside.She is very thankful for the classification of the items before she left, otherwise, if the letter continued to be placed on top of the box, it would fall into the hands of the police... But now, she easily puts the name The evidence of her crime was destroyed, and she would not let the police find any clues.

When those familiar and kind faces flashed in her mind one by one, her heart was in chaos, right and wrong, right and wrong, good and bad, in front of these beautiful, kind and sincere faces, the boundaries were completely confused.She didn't understand why, facing this chaotic world, perhaps she could only keep her mouth shut and retain the last bit of dignity for her.At least, she won't make the same mistake again. "What's going on here?" Yu Xiaoman murmured to herself, then shook her head in confusion, and fell into a state of confusion... It should be said that Monday morning changed her life.

The spring in Huaishu Town is like the spring in most northern villages. The sky is deep and cloudless. During the day and night, there is a southwest wind of magnitude 3 to 4. There is a slight chill, but it is diluted by the warm sunlight.In this season of vegetation recovery, in the pine walls on both sides of the campus corridor and the sparse forest outside the classroom windows, willows and black locusts have been full of energy throughout the winter and are growing rapidly. Today they stretch out their branches, and tomorrow they will reveal bright yellow new shoots. , There is a smell of green leaves and grass in the air.The junior high school students who had taken off their winter clothes, male and female, were all wearing blue and black school uniforms, which made them look a little mature.However, just like everything in the world revived in spring, the blue and black still can't conceal the youthful breath on the faces of boys and girls.

This Monday morning, the preparatory bell for the first class had just rang, and the classroom had not yet completely quieted down. Teacher Yuan, the head teacher, walked into the classroom with her hands behind her back. The boys and girls immediately put on a face and stopped chattering. Teacher Yuan, who was short, with narrow eyes and a big red nose, walked to the podium, supported the rectangular podium with both hands, and coughed majestically.The cough was like an order, and all the boys and girls focused their eyes on Teacher Yuan's face. Teacher Yuan nodded proudly. "Use the few minutes before class to talk about two questions." Teacher Yuan cleared his throat again, and said in a sharp voice, "One is that some students haven't handed in yesterday's Chinese homework, and they will hand it in to the class representative immediately after class. The second question is about the tutoring fee. There is a student in our class who is too self-conscious and has not paid the tutoring fee for three months. She is simply exploiting the teacher's blood and sweat. What’s the matter.” Teacher Yuan became more and more angry as she spoke, and her voice rose an octave, “Students, please think about it with your conscience, the teacher sacrificed for you to have a good academic performance and a bright future in the future. I spent my own rest time, tutoring you in evening self-study, and only charged five yuan for three hours, what a cheap labor! But just like this, there are still people who renege on their debts..."

The girls involuntarily turned their heads to look at Yu Xiaoman who was sitting in the fifth row of seats by the window. Some of them began to whisper softly, and the boys who didn't know what happened also turned their eyes to the window. At this time, the girl named Yu Xiaoman also stretched her neck, turned sideways, and looked out of the window like a statue.In fact, she didn't see anything. The forest outside the window that once made her feel so magical has become blurred in her eyes.She just didn't want to lower her beautiful giraffe-like neck, she didn't want tears to flow, and she didn't want people to see her face that was burnt red.This sixteen-year-old girl, once called "Little Apple" by her father Yu Hailiang, has a healthy complexion, a round face, round mouth, and round eyes. The back of the head is tied into a pony tail.This made her prominent forehead look very smooth and beautiful.As long as she stood in the sun for half an hour, her face would be coated with a layer of light red, a color similar to that of an apple.Immediately, the girl became charming and charming.She is quite tall, a full 1.66 meters. However, because she is not yet fully developed, her slender legs and breasts that have not yet protruded make her look thinner, but she still stands out from the crowd among her peers. feel.Her academic performance is also outstanding. She never allows herself to be lazy and slack in her studies, and she never allows herself to fall behind in any aspect.These strengths come from the unfortunate death of his father Yu Hailiang.Originally, before this, she was happy, carefree, and a little unmotivated.But her father's sudden death hit her too hard, which made her grow into an adult overnight.Her face often could not help showing a sad expression, and she became taciturn.She deeply knew that her life had undergone earth-shaking changes, in other words, she had fallen from the sky to the ground.When her father was alive, she never made her feel sad about paying tuition and miscellaneous fees, and never made her feel any pressure in life.When she was in elementary school at that time, whenever she went home and asked what fees the school would charge, her mother Lianxiu’s face would get very long. Her mother never liked her. When she was pregnant, her mother hoped to have a boy who could be the pillar of the family. Man's first cry when she first came to this world made her mother disgusted and turned her head away angrily.Yu Xiaoman has always been afraid to ask her mother for money. She knows that in her mother's mind, it is a waste to spend money on a girl who is going to marry sooner or later.As long as she heard that the school charged fees, my mother would cry and babble endlessly: "Why do you always ask for money? The debt of tens of thousands of dollars owed by grandma's medical treatment and funeral expenses after death has not been repaid." But the father smiled and asked: "How much? Oh, twenty yuan, let's say twenty yuan. No matter how poor we are, we can't let Xiaoman lose face in front of our classmates. I will leave this matter to me, and I will borrow it from my neighbor. " Saying this, my father went out, and after a while, he came back with the money.When the father handed over the money to Yu Xiaoman, the mother would suddenly start to cry inexplicably, crying and saying: "Look, look at the days I have been married to you? It has been more than ten years. I still wear the clothes I wore when I was a daughter in my natal family, and they are washed to the point of discoloration; do I have a piece of fashionable gold and silver jewelry? And this house, when I married you, you said you would let me live in the Li family in the east of the village. The spacious and bright big tile-roofed house... I lived the hardest life in Huazhai Village, I lived...it was like the old society...I dare not go back to my mother's house, for fear that my cousin would ask me for debts..." Fathers often appear helpless in response to mother's crying.He just repeated over and over: "Don't cry, okay? I'll find a way to make money!"

In the winter when Yu Xiaoman was in fifth grade, two strange men came to Zhaihua Village.They were recruiting coal miners for the Hushan Coal Mine in a neighboring province.The recruiter said that the Hushan Coal Mine is a large state-owned coal mine with top-notch facilities in the country.The words of recruiting workers made Zhaihua Village boil all of a sudden.This morning, the strong men gathered in the sun field at the gate of the millhouse at the west end of the village rushed to sign up.But in the afternoon, there were only seven people left on the recruitment list, including Yu Hailiang.Most of them backed down. They were dragged back by their parents or wives, who said, "If you want to die, go down the well and carry coal."But Yu Hailiang and his wife Lianxiu, who were eager to make money, turned a deaf ear to this vicious jingle. Lianxiu even started to prepare her husband's luggage with some excitement. For this reason, she went back to her natal home and borrowed 200 yuan from her cousin.However, she no longer blushed and shortness of breath when she got the wrong money this time, but said with some confidence: "When Hailiang goes to Hushan, I will pay you back soon." Father left on a snowy night in winter, They had to walk fifty miles to a place called Liuhe to wait for the passing train.At that time, Yu Xiaoman had just fallen asleep after finishing her homework, and her father didn't wake her up.Her father just stood by her bed and tucked in the quilt for her.At that time, Yu Xiaoman was having a sweet dream, her face was flushed with a happy smile.Why her father didn't tell Yu Xiaoman about going down the coal mine is still a mystery to Xiaoman.Is he afraid to see her red apple face stained with tears because of parting?Is he worried that this girl who is like a flower bud will frown because of this?No idea, Yu Xiaoman only knew that her father left without her knowing.But in the months after my father left, letters and money continued to arrive, although not as much as my mother wanted.One hundred yuan or fifty yuan is nothing to my mother, which is far from paying off the ten thousand yuan in debt. "What's the use of this little money, it's not even enough for a semester's tuition and miscellaneous fees." Mother complained.Yu Xiaoman was relieved by this, even if her father had no money to send, as long as she wrote a two-page home letter, Yu Xiaoman would be satisfied.Because these family letters can fill the void left in her heart after her father left.Debt or something is a matter for adults. She has a father, so she doesn't need to worry about it.

A year has passed, and her father did not come back to visit the house. Yu Xiaoman comforted her missing heart by reading and writing letters to her father.But there was still joy in her days at that time, because she knew that her father was still living in this world healthy and strong, but he just stayed away from her.What's more, when my father earns enough money to pay off the debt, he will come back. Yu Xiaoman has been admitted to the key middle school in Huaishu Town. Among the dozen or so children in the village who should be promoted to junior high school, only she and her best friend Wang Bo have been admitted to the key middle school.Wang Bo's older brother, Wang Liang, was admitted to university two years ago and studied law at Baiyun University, far away from his hometown.Everyone in the village is proud of him and Wang Bo's family.Wang Bo's father was an educated youth sent to the countryside. After getting married in the countryside, he never returned to the city.He is considered an unlucky person. Fortunately, the two children have inherited his intelligence and are very promising.Yu Xiaoman wrote a letter to tell her father the good news, and her father wrote a letter of congratulations immediately, and sent fifty yuan with the letter, saying that it was a "special fund" to buy a beautiful dress for "Little Apple". As a bonus.

This day is August 24th, not far from the start of Yu Xiaoman's new semester.After studying in the key middle school in the town, she will live there and can only go home on weekends.Mother decided to take her to the market to cash in the prize her father gave her, and at the same time, buy some things for her to live in school.It is rare for her mother to have time to take Yu Xiaoman to the market, so Yu Xiaoman is as happy as a festival.She got up early, put on an outdated but quite new floral shorts jacket given to her by her cousin's sister, and the mother and daughter rode bicycles borrowed from the neighbor's house the night before, and went all the way. Shaking the crisp bell, he ran towards Huaishu Town, twelve miles away.

Huaishu Town is an old town. Although a few two-story buildings have been built on both sides of a road that runs from north to south in recent years, there are still more dilapidated old houses on the street.On the lintels of these two or three rooms, there are signs for shoe stores, clothing stores, hardware stores, snack shops, and photo studios.The most prosperous area is in the middle of the town. There is not only the only movie theater in Huaishu Town, but also two newly opened hotels. The town government and other public facilities, such as the post office and Xinhua Bookstore, are also built here. .Going further south is the bus station, and across the small hill across a large field is the town middle school.At this moment, the whole town is bustling with traffic and noise everywhere.On the side of the road, there are all kinds of fruits and vegetables, rotten fish and rotten shrimps, and cheap clothing, cloth, shoes and hats brought by villagers and small vendors from this town and other neighboring towns.The market is crowded with people, and those self-employed who make scones, deep-fried dough sticks, steamed buns, and roasted pork heads often occupy an open space on the road, set up a pot, and start working.They were sweating profusely, with a shovel in one hand and their own food in the other, soliciting business from passers-by.

Yu Xiaoman and her mother turned onto the North-South Road from the entrance to the north of the town, got off their bicycles, and pushed them forward slowly. Yu Xiaoman, who has never been to the market for so long, kept ringing the car bell while looking around. After a while, she was fascinated by the fashionable dresses of the girls passing by. Stopped, for a while, she stared at those fashionable young people wearing sunglasses in a daze, for a while, she turned her head and chased after a pair of transparent plastic sandals on the feet of her peers: "Mom, look, those shoes are just like those in fairy tales. It's the same as the glass slipper you mentioned." She said curiously. "You don't want to see what you like. Fifty yuan can't buy so many things." The mother looked sullen.When my mother took out money, she always looked angry. "I didn't say I would buy it!" "Then don't be surprised." Yu Xiaoman didn't say anything anymore, but her eyes were not idle. She felt that this market was really full of novelty and magic.Mother didn't stay there for one more minute just because Yu Xiaoman was interested in those colorful floral cloths and shoes of various styles. On the contrary, she always urged Yu Xiaoman to go fast.Finally, they stopped in front of a clothing stall.The mother first took a general look, and then pointed to the skirts suitable for Xiaoman and asked the price.The stall owner is a woman who is about the same age as her mother. She patiently answered her mother's inquiries about the price and also patiently told her about the characteristics of each skirt fabric.But her mother didn't even let Yu Xiaoman try it, and she shook her head repeatedly when she heard the quotation.After looking at this one, I turned to another one, and I asked again and again, but still couldn't negotiate. Almost all the clothes were too expensive for my mother.At first, Yu Xiaoman stood obediently and watched her mother ask and bargain with the stall owner.After visiting three or four stores, Yu Xiaoman finally lost her composure. When her mother called her to go to another clothing store, she shouted to her mother, "No! No!" Turning his head, he pushed the bicycle and walked quickly towards the road he came from.Mother shouted behind her: "Wait, wait!" She didn't look back. Under the watchful eyes of everyone, Yu Xiaoman's disappointing tears flowed down.Passing through the crowd, she hopped on the bicycle and rode forward desperately, crying sadly, sweat and tears made her little apple face vertical and horizontal, like a dissatisfied with her own work. A painter suddenly scribbles on the finished work with a brush.Yu Xiaoman couldn't care about wiping her face, and she couldn't care less about avoiding the surprised gazes from passers-by. She panted heavily, her little face was flushed with anger, and her round eyes were red and swollen from crying. I was lied to, my mother didn't even think about buying her clothes... After turning onto the main road leading to Zhaihua Village, there were fewer pedestrians on the road, and gusts of cool wind blew head-on, which gradually calmed down the anger in her heart.She looked back and saw that her mother hadn't caught up, so she stopped the car and wanted to go down to the ditch beside the road to wash her face.At this moment, a man shouted her name and rushed towards her on a bicycle like crazy. "Second Uncle!" Yu Xiaoman didn't know what happened, and stood there in a daze. The neighbor's second uncle also looked at her tear-stained face in a little bewilderment: "You know all about it?" "Second uncle, what are you talking about?" The second uncle looked at her carefully, shook his head involuntarily and asked, "Where's your mother?" "My mother is still on the set." "You go home first, I'll go to Jishang to find your mother." "Second uncle, why are you looking for my mother?" Yu Xiaoman suddenly felt something was wrong.She opened her red and swollen eyes wide, stared at the panicked face of the second uncle, and asked again: "Second uncle, what happened?" The second uncle's gaze once again flicked over Xiaoman's red apple-like delicate face, he hesitated for a moment, then sighed and said: "You go home first, ah!" Then he jumped on the bicycle recklessly and fled. He seemed to ride towards the direction of Huaishu Town. The sad news of his father Yu Hailiang's tragic death reached the village on this day.It was an accident—the mine gas exploded, twenty-three miners were trapped underground, and none of them survived... This day was the anniversary of the death of Quanzhaihua Village. died in the accident.On August 24th, Yu Xiaoman's distant sky suddenly collapsed.She was not yet fourteen years old on this day, but she knew that her flowery and dreamy childhood was over.After the bad news came, she didn't even have time to cry heartily.Mother passed out on the street immediately after receiving the sad news in the market.Immediately afterwards, he was sent to the town hospital.As a result, the will of this woman who always regarded her husband as a cash cow was completely broken. She didn't think about anything other than crying, and she even lost confidence in continuing to live.She kept saying: let me go with him, what should I do if he left such a pile of debts?The medical staff comforted her and said: Don't think that way, you still have a child!You have to think about your child.But she said weakly: I don't care, I can't care so much.I don't have that much power.What her mother said made Yu Xiaoman very sad.But she knew in her heart that this was all her mother could face.Mother, a petite and frail woman, has been living on his father's strong and solid shoulders since she married her father. Apart from nagging, she really has no ability to share anything for the family.Therefore, when the pillar of the family suddenly left, the mother was helpless.In this way, the mother who was dying of pain lived in the hospital all the time. She left the family's chickens, ducks, pigs and sheep to Yu Xiaoman to manage, and left the whole family to Yu Xiaoman to support. My father's ashes were brought back by my uncle and other family members of the victims in the village who went to the Hushan mine.The mine only gave him a pension of 5,000 yuan.It turned out that it was not a state-owned coal mine at all, but a small coal mine mined by individuals. The safety facilities were extremely poor, and the living conditions were as miserable as in the "old society". My father and the others lived in a wet shed below and worked desperately for a month. , can only get three hundred dollars.In order to pay off the debts owed by the family, my father sent back almost every penny he could get... After the accident, the mine owner dropped tens of thousands of dollars and disappeared without a trace. The families of the victims had to take the ashes return home.When my uncle handed over his father's pension to Yu Xiaoman, the five-foot-tall man couldn't help but burst into tears: "Take it, Xiaoman, this is your father's hard-earned money!" However, my uncle walked away. Then, the cousin of my mother's natal family came to collect the debt and snatched the five thousand yuan from Yu Xiaoman.The cousin also said that your mother still owes me five hundred yuan, but I am afraid that she will not be able to pay the five hundred yuan in this life.In front of Yu Xiaoman, the cousin said angrily that she was blind and should not lend money to such incompetent people.After such an unfortunate incident in the family, the only brother in my mother's natal family only showed up once on the day of the burial of my father's ashes.My uncle lives in Huaishu Town, runs a small store, and lives a good life.Therefore, my aunt was very afraid of interacting with their family.When my grandparents were alive, my mother would always go back to her natal family to visit during the holidays. After the two old people passed away, for a long period of time, she cut off contact with her natal family. In just a few days, Yu Xiaoman not only experienced the blow of losing her dearest person in the world, but also tasted the cruelty of the world.She was about to cry.Like a little housewife, she is busy at home and abroad. When she wakes up early in the morning, she has to lead the sheep to the mountain and tie them up. Then she pulls the heavy bellows to cook the pig food, and carries the cold pig food spoonful by spoonful. Pour it into the pig trough, feed the pigs, and then it is the turn to release the impatient chickens and ducks in the chicken coop, feed them, and clean up the excrement in the nest.When she was busy like this, a neighbor came to tell her that the peanut field in Xigou should be weeded. The grass grew higher than the crops.So, she responded with sweat dripping down her face, while hastily devouring the few white noodles sent to her by the neighbor's second aunt last night.Fortunately, the mother who was lying in the hospital did not need her to take care of her. Several families who died in the Hushan Coal Mine in the village were lying in the town hospital, and everyone took care of each other. The town government said that the medical expenses were free.Yu Xiaoman only needs to go to the hospital in a few days. She went to the hospital to see her mother not for love, but for duty.The grieving mother didn't take her seriously any more, and she hardly paid any attention to Yu Xiaoman, let alone comfort the child's wounded heart.Mother really looked like she didn't want to go on anymore, she actually kept her mouth shut about the family affairs, as if the herds and crops she had been carefully tending had nothing to do with her at all.Yu Xiaoman can't ignore it, if she doesn't, the family will be completely ruined.After breakfast, it was only around eight o'clock when Yu Xiaoman had to go up the mountain with a basket for picking up pigweed.She came to her own field and looked anxiously at the endless crop field. Sure enough, the grass was taller than the peanut tree. Those yellow hairy grasses and big wormwood were growing wildly in clumps, several times higher than the peanut tree. cm.Yu Xiaoman squatted down fiercely and pulled out the deep-rooted yellow hair grass. Every time she pulled up a clump, she threw it on the ground angrily.Inadvertently, the sun rose to the center of the sky, and this big fireball was rolling in the cloudless sky, even the cool mountain wind was scorched hot. One feels suffocated.The sun was strong and dazzling, and the weeds and crops seemed to be burning, shining brightly.Yu Xiaoman's white and tender face and neck began to turn red, and there was an indescribable itching on it, and when sweat dripped on it, there was a burning pain.She straightened up and wiped the sweat from her face and neck with the skirt of her shirt.She has no experience as a farmer at all, and she doesn't even know how to wear a straw hat and a towel to wipe off sweat in the hot weather.When she found that she had worked for most of the morning and only cleared a small piece of weeds on the ground, she suddenly burst into tears.For her, the work in the crop field is much more difficult than raising pigs and sheep.She looked at her hands that were blistered by the weeds through her tearful eyes, and felt more and more desperate.She sat in the grass on the edge of the ground, staring at the black mountains in the distance, how she wished that her father was walking on the mountain path at this moment, but her father died, and he would never come back... ...as if someone had punched her on the back, and a burst of heart-piercing pain made her burst into tears.Her crying attracted the second uncle and second aunt who were pulling weeds on the other side of the ditch. The second aunt wiped her tears and comforted her and said that everyone would help with the work in the field; The ground dried up. Later, the mother was discharged from the hospital.The mother who returned home began to be busy at home and abroad as before.During this period, the school started early.Mother didn't ask Yu Xiaoman if she still wanted to go to school, and Yu Xiaoman didn't mention going to school anymore.She and her mother were like two strangers living under the same roof. Neither of them spoke unless it was absolutely necessary. The house was gloomy and dead like a tomb.On this day, my aunt and uncle came to visit them.Seeing Yu Xiaoman, who had become dark and thin for more than a month, my aunt burst into tears.The aunt and uncle from a poor family immediately decided to send Yu Xiaoman to school and pay all the tuition fees for her.Mother didn't stop her, but she didn't say a word of thanks either, with a resigned expression on her face.From her mother's point of view, Yu Xiaoman belongs to the Yu family, and she can do whatever the Yu family wants, she can't control that much.So, Yu Xiaoman went back to school to study. After losing her father, Yu Xiaoman's life suddenly became long, and there was still nothing to say between her and her mother.Every weekend when she came home from school, she felt lonely and unbearable.If it wasn't for going home to get this fee and that fee, she would rather stay alone in the school dormitory.Last weekend, she came home from school as usual.Seeing her mother busy around the livestock, she stood on the ground in a daze.She was very embarrassed and didn't know how to ask her mother for the tutoring fee owed to the school.This time, she was going to ask for it no matter what. She had been in arrears for three months and could not delay any longer.She knew that it was difficult for her mother, and she felt uneasy every time she went back to school to charge this fee and that fee.Ordinarily, the amount of money is not large. For example, seventy yuan for school uniforms, ten yuan for books and newspapers, ten yuan for loss of teaching aids, fifteen yuan for test papers, five yuan for class fees, two yuan for movies, nine yuan for extra meals and soy milk. Yuan, three yuan for boiling water... For a child from a wealthy family, what is this money?But she is different, it is difficult for her to open her mouth to ask her mother for a penny.She knew very well that her mother didn't intend to let her go to middle school at first, and her mother worked desperately just to pay off the family's debts, not for her to go to school.She was very afraid to ask her mother for money, but she was too embarrassed to open her mouth to her aunt and uncle for such miscellaneous expenses.Every time a new semester begins, my aunt sends her the book money and tuition fees early.It was my aunt's insistence that made my mother bite the bullet and let her stay in school, but when my mother had to pay for these expenses with the little money she had just saved from selling chickens and ducks, her mother kept sighing , as if about to cry.Whenever she took those scattered bills from her mother, she felt really uncomfortable.But after all, it was more than a dozen yuan, at most dozens of yuan, but this time it was a three-month tutoring fee of one hundred and fifty yuan!Mother wouldn't give her so much money, and besides, maybe mother didn't have so much money at all... It was getting dark unconsciously.The mother and daughter sat down on the broken wooden table in the center of the ground. After dinner, they didn't even bother to turn on the light, so they sat in the dark again. "Mom, the school wants a tutoring fee of 150 yuan." The darkness finally gave Yu Xiaoman the courage to speak.In the dark, no matter how her mother answered, she didn't have to look at her mother's ugly face.For a long time, my mother didn't answer.Yu Xiaoman didn't repeat what she just said.She believed her mother had heard what she was saying.She was looking forward to her mother's answer in the silent night, but also afraid of her mother's answer.My mother didn't say a word until she went back to sleep in her little room.The next morning, Yu Xiaoman should leave for school at six o'clock.When she got up, her mother was not sitting in front of the stove and lighting the fire as usual, but closed the door tightly, as if she was still asleep.Yu Xiaoman stood in front of the closed door, but did not reach out to knock on the door.She knew in her heart that her mother was hiding from her, and she didn't want to give her the money.Tears welled up in her eyes, but she didn't let the tears flow out. She turned her head, didn't eat any food, opened the courtyard door, and walked out... For the one hundred and fifty yuan owed by Yu Xiaoman, Teacher Yuan was still chattering like an old woman with a broken mouth.Yu Xiaoman's eyes were still staring out of the window, she didn't dare to turn her head to look at Teacher Yuan on the podium, but she really hoped that he would shut up immediately, he could definitely call her to the office to reprimand him, he didn't have to Talking endlessly in front of the whole class like now, if he continues talking like this, she will not be able to bear it, and the shame and resentment will make her cry.But she didn't want to cry, she didn't want to cry, especially in front of Li Lingling at the same table, she couldn't let the tears flow down easily no matter what.No need to ask, Li Lingling must be looking at her with a sneer at this moment.This girl with freckles all over her face, who was three years older than Xiaoman, was not only ugly, but also narrow-minded.She was transferred from another school, and it was only after her father who owned a nightclub in Huaishu Town donated a large sum to the school and gave the principal a second-hand Santana car that she was able to enter Huaishu Middle School .Previously, she had a two-year record of repeated grades in ordinary middle schools.Teacher Yuan, the head teacher, asked her to sit with Yu Xiaoman in order to let Yu Xiaoman help her stupid brain, but this rich and rich lady didn't value intelligence and intelligence.She never put Yu Xiaoman in his eyes, just like Yu Xiaoman never put her in his eyes.The reason why she looked down on Yu Xiaoman was because of Yu Xiaoman's poverty. Yu Xiaoman had the worst clothes among her classmates and the worst school supplies. Not to mention sharing those girls' favorite snacks with everyone in the dormitory.Li Lingling looked down on Yu Xiaoman because she was jealous of Xiaoman's academic performance. What she couldn't bear was that the chemistry teacher, Wu, praised Yu Xiaoman for her hard work in class and "called" her to learn from Yu Xiaoman. .At this time, her heart was as sour as if a vinegar jar had been overturned.Just because of Yu Xiaoman's poor appearance, let me learn from her?Li Lingling was completely unconvinced.Fortunately, teacher Yuan, the head teacher, and Principal Li gave her enough face, and often talked about her father's contribution to the school. Principal Li personally gave her father a gold-plated red envelope at the school-wide teacher-student meeting at the end of the semester. The letter of thanks was handed to her.Even so, Li Lingling still felt unbalanced. She hated girls who were smarter than herself, and she wished she could drive all such girls out of school.If there is no Yu Xiaoman's cleverness in learning, there will be no Li Lingling's stupidity in learning... Now, it was Yu Xiaoman's turn to make a fool of herself... Yu Xiaoman knew how proud and excited Li Lingling should be for this.For this reason, she can't cry, she will never cry, never let Li Lingling see a joke.So, she bit her lip hard, trying to restrain the tears that were rushing to her eyes. If Teacher Yuan's speech stopped here, Yu Xiaoman's life would be different.However, at this moment, Teacher Yuan changed the subject and said something else: "As for who this classmate is, she knows it in her heart, and everyone knows it in her heart, so I won't name her here. It’s to give her a chance to make corrections.” When Teacher Yuan said this, the students started whispering, and some confused boys couldn’t help whispering to the female students in the front and back seats: “Hey, who is Teacher Yuan talking about?” Suddenly, there was a chatter in the classroom.Teacher Yuan didn't stop the boys and girls from whispering. On the contrary, he seemed to hope that everyone could discuss this matter in a low voice.After a pause of about three minutes, Teacher Yuan changed a more stern tone, and said in a commanding tone: "Let me make a statement here, please find a way to pay the owed three months immediately." Otherwise, don’t sit in the classroom.” Teacher Yuan paused and said, “When will you pay the money, and when will you come back to class. The school is not a charity…” Yu Xiaoman felt a sense of enthusiasm The dirty things flowed from her eyes, and she didn't have time to wipe them off. She stood up abruptly, pushed away Li Lingling who was smiling at her gloatingly, and ran out of the classroom like crazy... When Yu Xiaoman ran up the road leading to the town road from school, her good friend Wang Bo also ran out of the classroom and caught up with her desperately. With the same diligence and intelligence as Yu Xiaoman.因此，她们亲如姐妹，无论在教室里还是宿舍里，总是形影不离地在一起，有了难题两人一块解决，有了好吃的东西，也是两人分着吃。当别的女生凑在一块儿谈论漂亮衣服和化妆用品时，她俩却憋足一口气，相约要努力考上重点高中，将来还要念同一所大学…… 王波气喘吁吁地从后面将一只胳膊搭到了于小蔓的肩上：“小蔓，你要去哪？” “回家！”于小蔓哭着说。 "go home?" “我没地方可去呀！” 王波用力地拉住她：“你别急着走，咱们到山坡那边的向阳处坐会儿，想想办法。” 看着王波那恳切的目光，于小蔓停下了脚步。 两个女孩手拉手地走到马路边，小心翼翼地下了陡坡，跳过汪着积雪融化后残留着黑污水的河沟，来到一片麦田里。小麦刚刚泛青，有两寸多高的麦苗儿绿油油地覆盖着松软的泥土，山坡上的青草长势很旺，已密密匝匝地开始盘根错节了，一丛丛不知名的小黄花、小紫花、小红花，点缀在草棵间，花梗细细的，嫩嫩的，十分柔弱，花朵却高昂着头，蓬蓬勃勃地开放着。温暖的阳光照着这片姹紫嫣红的山坡，微风吹过来，光波上闪着亮晶的银点，到处都显得生机盎然。这是个没有农事的季节，田野里少有人迹。在高高的天空下，一眼望不到边的绿色麦田变得空旷而又辽阔。也许是这幽静的环境感染了于小蔓，等她们坐到山坡下一块没有长草的空地上后，她的心绪开始平静下来了。 “王波，我很害怕回家，我一点也不想回家。你知道我妈不喜欢我，我跟她在一起，根本就没话可说。”于小蔓不再哭泣，只是忧心忡忡地说。 王波满脸忧虑地看着她：“小蔓，你要是真的回了家，一切就全完了。学校这边会说你是自动离校的。” 于小蔓的眼里复又涌出了泪水：“可袁老师说的再清楚不过了，交不上辅导费，就不要再进教室……我妈是不会给我这笔钱的，她手里没钱，她也不会像我爸那样去给我借钱，我只能辍学了。” “可是……”王波那胖胖的脸蛋上泛着红晕，她焦急地咬着嘴唇。她很想帮助于小蔓，但她心里明，自己的辅导费也是妈妈从亲戚家里借来的。 “我多想留在学校里啊！”过了一会儿，于小蔓悲切地望着远方的地平线说，“可我实在受不了那样的侮辱。你知道吗？袁老师每说一句话，我就觉得像是被他抽了一鞭子。” 王波眨着细眯的眼睛，苦苦地想着解决的办法。 于小蔓的目光茫然地看着远处的山峦。该想的办法她都想过了，眼下，她真是走投无路了。 两个女孩在阳光下默默地坐了许久。后来，还是于小蔓先开口了：“王波，你快回学校吧，该上第三节课啦！你出来半天会挨批评的。” "Then what do you do?" “我只能先回家了。” "When are you coming back?" “如果我妈能给我辅导费，我下午就回来。” “小蔓，你别给你妈来硬的，你跟她说说好话，求她帮你一把。就为咱们的将来想想吧！”王波像是在黑暗中看到了一缕光亮，终于有些放心地站起身来，“你下午可一定要回来啊！就是你妈不给你钱，你也要回来，在宿舍里呆着，再想别的办法。” 于小蔓点了点头。王波这才恋恋不舍地朝着学校的方向走去。 于小蔓与王波分手后，一个人慢慢地无精打采地踩着路边的草茬走着。渐渐地，田野被她甩到了身后，前方已出现了槐树镇的轮廓。长途汽车站有几个提着旅行包的人在走动，去城里的早班车已发过了，他们应该是在等上午的第二班车。于小蔓看着停在车站停车场上的两辆米黄色面包车，脑子里突然闪出一个念头：我要是能坐上这趟车，远走他乡就好了。只要那汽车一开动，所有的烦恼便都抛在槐树镇。她宁愿淹没在城市的人海里，也不愿坐在镇中学的教室里在众目睽睽之下丢脸。她下意识地摸了摸空空如野的衣袋，很无奈地继续往前走。不是集日的槐树镇大街有些清冷，但几家服装店的录音机仍用最大音量播放着招揽生意的歌曲，街面上有几个小商贩担着货物边叫卖边往前走；位于镇中心街东的李小玲的爸爸开的“野玫瑰”夜总会门前则是人来人往的，几个穿着开衩到大腿根的紫红旗袍、嘴唇涂得血红的迎宾小姐正站在门口与客人拉拉扯扯。小姐们的年龄看上去比于小蔓大不了多少，她们的举止让于小蔓感到很不舒服，她有些生气地将目光从那片紫红上移开；一个喝得烂醉的中年男子从前面一家小旅馆里出来，歪歪斜斜地冲着于小蔓走来，当他走到于小蔓跟前时，那张充血的脸上突然露出了怪笑，龇着一口大黄牙，用半生不熟的本地话说：“小姐，想挣钱吗？我这儿有的是！”那人用手拍着自己的裤裆处。于小蔓简直是怒不可遏了，她朝着醉鬼呸了一口，便逃也似往前跑去。经过一家油条店铺的门口时，那股油炸面团的香味让她的嘴里流出了口水。她觉得肚子里饿得难受。今天早晨，她是赌气没吃饭就来到学校的。她想象着那一根根金黄色的油条香喷喷的滋味，就有点迈不开步了。吃的欲望一时间甚至让她忘记了刚才在学校那屈辱的一幕。此时此刻，能饱饱地吃上一顿油条占据了她的整个身心。但她深知这只能是妄想。于是，只能一口一口地吞咽着口水，恋恋不舍地走过了油条店铺。 于小蔓像游魂似地在镇子的大街上游荡着，她百无聊赖地走过电影院、图书馆、镇政府门口和几家饭店、旅馆。在镇子南北大街的最北面，她舅舅家开的兴隆百货店门头不大，生意还算红火，远远地，她总看见有人从里面买了东西走出来。她从没进过这个百货店，尽管每每从这里经过时，她就有一种进去看看的念头，但她知道自己进去后，等待的必是舅妈的白眼。 也不知这样游荡了多久，于小蔓霍地觉得又饿又累，她很想靠在什么地方坐一会儿或是睡上一觉。她的两腿发软，眼皮发沉里空荡荡的。也许她该回家了，回到位于村子西头那座死气沉沉的破房子里去。除了回家，她真的无处可去。无论她在这个镇子上游荡多久，也不会有人家向她敞开大门的。可她不想回家，她很害怕在母亲那里得到的那个“结果”。一想到自己将永远地离开学校，她的眼前就一阵阵发黑，明亮的天空刹那间变得一片灰暗。然而，她还是一步步挪到了槐树镇通往寨花村的东西路口。就在她踌躇不前的当儿，一辆拖拉机开上了沙土路，她认出开拖拉机的是寨花村人后，连想也没想，就冲人家招了招手。此时，开车人也认出了于小蔓，便停车让她坐进了后面的车斗里…… 于小蔓走进家门时，脸上的泪滴已被春风给吹干了。不过，那红肿的眼睛仍留有哭过的痕迹。她脸上的表情是冷冷的，心里却充满了仇恨和愤怒。她咚地一声推开院门时，母亲正弯腰趴在猪圈的石板上，往猪槽里舀猪食，嘴里还颇为亲昵地唤着“呐呐呐……”于小蔓连看也没看母亲一眼，就梗着脖子往屋里去了。屋里乱糟糟的，泥土地面上湿乎乎的，鞋底踩上去呱唧呱唧响，地上堆着没烧完的柴草，炕上堆着没有叠起来的被褥，泛黑的桌凳上蒙着厚厚的尘土，盖着木锅盖的大铁锅里，还在突突地冒着热气，空气中是一股猪食的酸味。于小蔓三步两步走到后窗前，哐地一声打开了自冬天开始一直封得严严的窗户，霍地，一阵西南风猛地扑进来，泥土和破碎的塑料纸吹了一地，屋门也砰的合上了。 “你开窗干什么？”母亲提着猪食桶走进屋里，生气地问。于小蔓把头探出窗外，背对着母亲说：“我热。” 母亲没有吭声，闷头打开锅盖，从煮猪食的锅里拿出一个锅撑子，撑子上放着两个黑不溜秋的的面卷子和一碗滴了油的咸菜。这是母亲的午饭。“你吃吗？”母亲问。 于小蔓实在是饿坏了，就走过去，拿了一个面卷子，又回到窗前，一边喘着粗气，一边吃了下去。母亲没有吃午饭，不知是因为忙，还是吃不下。她把另一个面卷子放到碗架子上面的饭筐子里，咸菜也端到了锅台后面，然后，把瘦小的屁股放到泥锅台的角上，用一把断了柄的大铁勺子搅拌着锅里的猪食。 这时候，于小蔓仍僵僵地站立在后窗前，她真不愿回过头看母亲那张苦瓜脸，看她那蓬乱的头发，苍白的皮肤和露着肉的不整的衣衫。 “你怎么回来了？”过了好一会儿，母亲停下手里的勺子，不冷不热地问。 “你知道。”于小蔓仍没有回头。 "What do I know?" “你没有给我辅导费，我被老师赶回来了。”于小蔓猛地爆发了，她回过头，恨恨地看着母亲，“我再也不去学校了，这回你可省心了，家里还多了一个劳动力……”说到这儿，于小蔓忍不住哭了起来，“我早就知道你不想让我上学了，你老是用钱拿捏我，让我在学校里丢尽了脸，我恨你！恨你！” 猛地，母亲把手里的铁勺子扔进锅里，身子挨着土坯垒起的锅台，转过头，木木地看着于小蔓，脸上是一副不愠不火的神情，仿佛于小蔓正在冲着另一个人发泄，她只是个看客。 于小蔓越说越气：“你逼着爸爸去煤矿，让他惨死在那儿，现在，你又来逼我……”于小蔓说出这句话后，她突然明白了自己为什么这样恨母亲，母亲在父亲出事之后为什么总躲着她。母亲是有愧的，假如当初母亲能像邻居二婶那样，死啊活地不让二叔去虎山，父亲就不会惨死，于小蔓就不会因为没了父亲而变得如此可怜，为了一百多块钱，受尽侮辱和歧视。难怪村里人都在议论，母亲没有对父亲说一句阻拦的话，母亲还生怕父亲改变主意。于小蔓恍惚还记得，母亲那张小苦瓜脸在父亲决定去虎山的那几天，曾经露出过笑容，仿佛家里有了天大的喜事。这就是母亲背着于小蔓所做的一切……于小蔓这样想着，心头的怨恨积郁得更深了，她尖着嗓子喊道，“是你害死了我爸爸，是你让我成了没有爸爸的孩子……”于小蔓有些歇斯底里地恶狠狠地瞪着母亲。蓦地，在于小蔓猝不及防的情形下，母亲操起搅拌猪食的铁勺子，朝着她扔了过来。于小蔓一闪身，铁勺子穿过玻璃飞到窗外，顷刻间，正屋地上到处都四溅着碎玻璃碴。 “你打死我吧！你打死我吧！”于小蔓踩着碎玻璃碴，哭喊着朝小屋跑去，并用力地关上了房门。 母亲没有追上来，当于小蔓趴在床上伤心地哭泣时，屋外却是一片出奇地寂静。于小蔓哭了一会儿，再听听外屋仍然没有一点动静，她想母亲大概已背着筐子上后山的松林拾柴禾了。母亲是不会来哄她的，母亲看上去很柔弱，小个头，小脑袋，小鼻子小眼睛，单薄的身材，细瘦的胳膊和棍子似的小腿，很值得让人爱怜，因此，她被丈夫于海亮宠坏了，在这个家里，从来都是丈夫哄着她，却从没听她说过一句迁就别人的话。是的，她决不会像别人家的母亲那样，对于小蔓说一句：我错了。she won't!即使她真的错了，她也不会在于小蔓面前承认。这也许正是她们母女间不能相互理解的根源。假如她能告诉于小蔓她手头该有多拮据，于小蔓被老师赶回家她有多难过，感到多么对不起孩子，于小蔓就不会这么恨她了。可于小蔓知道母亲自己还有满肚子委屈。虽然她一直没有说出来，她也不屑于把这些说给于小蔓听，但于小蔓心里很清楚，至今，母亲仍认为自己让那个叫于海亮的男人给骗了，那个男人一甩手走了，把这样一个债台高筑的家留给了她，把这样一个赔钱的女孩留给了她，把毫无希望的日子留给了她，背着这样一身债务，拖着一个女孩，她甚至连再嫁的机会都没有，没人愿意收留她们，更何况，她残存的一点少妇的姿色，也早就被这个贫穷的火坑给糟蹋了，才三十几岁的她，已像秋天的芦苇一般干枯了，泛黄了，榨不出一点嫩绿的浆汁来。母亲觉得她的日子就跟这三间低矮的破房子一样黑暗、潮湿，没有生气。因此，她连发泄怨气的机会都给自己剥夺了，她不想说什么，一切都随它去吧！ 于小蔓在断定母亲已出了家门后，便不再哭了。她呆呆地在床边坐了一会儿，心里越发感到茫然了。母亲的态度已经很明确了，就在刚才，她已拿到了“结果”。于是，她不由自主地想着自己未来的日子。几年之后，李玲玲成了趾高气昂的大学生，而母亲为了能得到一点嫁妆钱还债，却早早地将她嫁给一个在集市上开小店铺的油嘴滑舌的男人，她成了那男人张口就骂举手就打的妻子，成了一个孩子脏兮兮的蓬头垢面的妈妈……于小蔓不敢往下想了，她脱掉鞋子，爬上床，拉过堆在墙角的散发着汗臭味的被子，蒙头躺了下来。厚厚的被子挡住了从窗子外面射进来的阳光，于小蔓为自己营造了一个黑暗的天地，尽管这让她有些透不过气，但她喜欢这样躲在黑暗的空间。一开始她还睁大眼睛，惊诧地四处看着，脑子里仍胡乱地想着，渐渐地，她的眼睛便打起架来，思维也变得模糊不清，在一种毫无意识的状态下，她睡着了。也不知睡了多久，她突然醒了过来，当她弄清楚自己是躺在自家的床上时，睡前心头的那股苦味又涌了上来。她不想起来，不想去面对眼前的日子，于是，她只是把头上的被子掀开了，长长地吸了一口气。 天色不知在什么时候已暗了下来，从窗外透进来的光亮是淡灰色的，摆在床前的从奶奶的奶奶那辈传下来的旧衣柜看上去已是黑漆漆的一片。屋外仍没有一点声音，更没有饭菜的味道，就连往常此时最热闹的院子里，也是一片少有的安静，没有母亲哄牲畜们归窝时的呼唤声，那些鸡呀鸭呀猪啊羊啊仿佛都睡熟了，半点声响也没有。诧异使于小蔓禁不住从床上坐起来，她直起身子，趴到窗台上，透过脏乎乎的窗玻璃，向着院子里张望。院子里的天色虽然有些灰暗，却依然明亮，什么东西都能看得清清楚楚。首先，她看见紧紧关着的院门已上了门闩，也就是说母亲已准备睡觉了，往常她们总是在睡觉前才闩门的。可那些鸡鸭们呢？它们还没有归窝，主人怎么能睡下呢？蔓的目光在院子里搜索着，于是，她看见有几只鸡耷拉着翅膀，躺在院中央。God, what's going on here?它们像是死了，只有死了的鸡才耷拉着翅膀啊！她慌忙跳下床，赤脚来到外屋。外屋的屋门也闩上了，她顺手拉开电灯开关，接着又打开了屋，即刻，她被院子里的景象惊呆了：在厕所边的石台上，躺着两只分明已死去的灰鸭子，那只已有几十斤重准备卖给饭店的公羊，直拖拖地倒在草堆旁，二十几只鸡全死了，泥土地上到处是灰一片白一片的。于小蔓不敢相信地揉着眼睛，当她确信眼前的景象不是梦时，便不顾一切地跑到院子里，在死鸡死鸭中间跳着来到了猪圈前，她回来时母亲正亲呢地唤着的克郎猪也毫无声息地趴在臭哄哄的粪堆里。她随手拿起一根棍子，朝着猪肚子捅了几下，克郎猪居然一动不动。 “妈——妈！”她终于又惊又怕地喊了起来，“你快来看哪！”小院里没有母亲的回应，依然是一片死寂。 于小蔓不由全身一阵颤栗，一种前所未有的恐怖朝着她袭来。她赤脚朝着母亲住的西屋跑去。 屋门虚掩着，里面黑洞洞的，窗帘已拉上了，什么也看不清。但于小蔓还是认为母亲就睡在屋里。她大声地喊着：“妈——妈！”一手伸到床上去摸，一手抖抖地拉开了电灯。 床上空空的，连被子都没有。窗上有一团红，耀眼的红。母亲——那个叫连秀的女人用一根绳子把自己吊在了窗棂上。她那孱弱而又瘦小的身体被结婚时的红妆包裹着，显得越发没了体积和分量。就像一只长方形的红包袱挂在了窗前。她的脸朝着窗外，留给于小蔓的只是一个像红包袱一样的背影，惟有那一绺绺披散在脖子上像于草一样泛黄的头发，还着一股女人的味道。在她脚下的窗台上，铺着迭成了厚厚的方块的被褥，这些硬梆梆的保温性能很差的东西想不到在这儿派上了用场——母亲是踩着被褥把自己的脖子伸进绳套里的…… “听说她什么也没给你留下？”几天以后，在槐树镇中学的女生宿舍里，王波边帮于小蔓收拾着她上次被赶回家时留在大通铺上的行李边问。 “她毒死了家里所有的牲畜。”于小蔓淡淡地说。从她的口气中听不出半点悲伤。“这样也好，这个家我再也没有什么可留恋得了。” “她做得可真够绝啊！” “她恨我！” “可她为什么没有毒死你呢？” “她想让我活着受苦。她知道活着比死难得多。明摆着，她带走了她所有的心爱的牲畜，却把我扔下了。” "Do you hate her?" "yes." “可没有了她，你一个人怎么过呢？去你姑姑家吗？”于小蔓摇了摇头。 王波将她的铺盖用绳子捆好，放到铺边：“课本也带走吧！”她看着堆在曾经属于于小蔓的那块床铺头上的一堆书说。 “不要了。”于小蔓的口气仍是淡淡的。 “就这么着结束了……”王波的眼圈红了。她怜悯地望着于小蔓那张已没了红润的苹果脸，“你到底打算怎么办呢？” 于小蔓想了一会儿才说：“你能把你哥在白云市的地址给我吗？” 王波一愣，问：“你要去白云市？一个人去白云市，那儿离家可有好几千里地呀！” 于小蔓有点发恨地咬着嘴唇说：“我想走得越远越好。”她这样说着的时候，眼里霍地涌满了泪水。 “你哪儿来的路费钱？”王波问。 “我把家里的那几件破家具全卖了，还有粮食和柴禾。” “欠债都还清了吗？” “我拿什么还啊？” “那他们会放你走？” “我告诉他们，到白云打工挣钱，就是为了还他们的债。” “这么说你真的要走了。” 于小蔓点了点头：“我一天也不想再等了。” 王波把写好的地址塞到于小蔓手里，两个女孩就这样泪眼对着泪眼地站在那儿，谁也不说一句话。 “当当”，几声上课的铃声打破了宿舍里的沉寂。 “我得走了！”于小蔓说。她用衣袖擦干了脸上的泪水，一甩脑后的马尾辫，脸上露出了决绝的神情。 王波为于小蔓提着行李，于小蔓跟在她的身后，两人默默地朝着学校的大门走去。在她们的身后，不时传来课间男女生们的打闹声。 这时，像是害怕背后会有人追上来似的，于小蔓突然加快脚步，抢在了王波的前面。她越走越快，几乎是在跑。她害怕看见班里的同学，更害怕遇见那些熟悉的还挺喜欢自己的兼课老师。她不想再哭了，决不再哭了！ 还好，在这短暂的课间，大家都在自己该活动的天地里，没人到通往校外的大路上走动。来到学校大门口时，于小蔓停下脚步，回过头，朝王波伸过手去：“把行李给我吧，你该回去上课了。”王波顺从地把行李递给她，却没有马上走开。 “你回去吧！”于小蔓催促着。 “你……你还会回来吗？”王波忍不住抽泣起来。 “我会回来的，我当然要回来！为了你，我也会回来的！”于小蔓一字一顿地说，像是在宣读自己的誓言。说罢，她一扭头，飞快地往前跑去……