Chapter 39 Chapter Thirty-Nine

A week has passed, I have traveled all over the major hospitals in the provincial capital, but there is no news of Ye Shengnan.I called Ye Shengnan's elder brother countless times, but he seemed to disappear from the world with Ye Shengnan, and he didn't turn on the phone at all.I wondered, even if he deliberately avoided me and refused to contact me, at least he would still contact his work unit and family, right?I called their unit, and the people in the unit told me that he was on a business trip, and they couldn't contact him.I called Ye Shengnan's house, squeezed my throat and pretended to be an outsider, and went to find Ye Shengnan. Her father told me that Ye Shengnan had gone on a trip with Yang Wei.I called my home to inquire. My mother was at home, and I asked her how my father was doing. She said that it was okay, and it was going to be transferred to the convalescent ward for consolidation. This is the only good news I have heard recently. news.My mother told my younger sister to come back from the provincial capital to take care of my dad: "It's useless to raise a son. When something happens, there is no one around, and I still have to rely on my girl. When will you come back? Why did you suddenly go out for a trip? Get married Have you received the certificate yet? Your father still needs to review it." My mother gave me a bad meal by the way, and I realized that it must be Ye Shengnan and his elder brother who have lied to my mother and father according to the caliber we discussed. Ye Shengnan went on a trip.

In the provincial capital, I do one thing every day: go to the hospital to find Ye Shengnan.After visiting the provincial hospitals, I went to the municipal hospitals, and after visiting the municipal hospitals, I went to those specialized hospitals... I was like a stray dog ​​who had lost its sense of smell and was abandoned by its owner. Running around but can't find home or food.It's like a fly locked in a glass cabinet, bumping around here and there, but can't get out of the transparent cage.My mind is always thinking about the three words Ye Shengnan. I miss her, worry about her, miss her, and eagerly want to know her current situation, but she is like an image that appeared in a dream. She was never found again.My brain will always be haunted by the image of her lying on the hospital bed with a snow-white body and a peaceful face, unable to wake up.Ye Shengnan, who used to be like an active fish and a wild bird in my mind, sometimes giggling like a silly big sister, sometimes shrewd and capable like Wang Xifeng, is like a character in a movie I watched in the distant past.Sometimes I am in a trance, and I can't tell whether I am in a dream or in reality. I pinch myself hard many times, letting the pain tell me that I am not dreaming, and everything that has happened is real.

After a day of futile travel, when I return to the vicinity of the hotel, my heart is suddenly shrouded in a cloud of timidity. I am afraid of being alone in the hotel room, and I am afraid that I will miss the opportunity to find Ye Shengnan when I fall asleep. Chance.At this time, I would sit exhaustedly on the curb, staring blankly at the pedestrians and vehicles on the road, and let the dust rolled up by the vehicles be thrown on my body and head.Sometimes I even develop hatred towards Ye Shengnan, there's no need for you to torture me like this if there are big things to do!Although you have suffered so much and suffered so much to protect me, maybe you will spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair, but are all these reasons for you to ignore me and reject me?

After searching all the hospitals in the provincial capital, there was still no news of Ye Shengnan and her elder brother.I have been to some hospitals several times, trying to find out their whereabouts. I guess they will order the hospital to block the news from me.But I didn't give up, and I was still searching relentlessly among various hospitals.Whenever I go around for a day and come back disappointed, when the night is quiet and I stay alone with the lonely light, the disappointment, melancholy, and sadness of "going up to the poor and falling to the underworld, and the two places are invisible" will quietly hit my heart.This poem was taught to me by Ye Shengnan.When Ye Shengnan recited this poem to me back then, I didn't have any emotional excitement or resonance.Now, being on the scene, I have also tasted the pain of these two poems.That was when we went to the countryside, Ye Shengnan did not know where to find a copy of "Three Hundred Tang Poems".She especially likes Bai Juyi's. She once interpreted this poem for me line by line. I asked her why this poem is called. I don't understand who Bai Juyi hates.Ye Shengnan laughed loudly, judged me for ignorance, and told me that the hate here is not the hate of hatred, but the meaning of regret, which is the original meaning of the word hate.Her favorite is the few lines: "I wish to be a lovebird in the sky, and a branch in the earth. When the sky and the earth are endless, this hatred will last forever."

Ye Shengnan's character has more romantic and sentimental elements than mine. We hid secretly in the abandoned sheep pen behind the courtyard of the Educated Youth Spot. Ye Shengnan recited this poem to me in a low voice, accompanied by the smell of dried sheep manure. Tears filled my eyes, so I memorized many sentences of this poem, but I was not as sentimental as hers, let alone shed tears for this sad and beautiful ancient poem.I think that if she read the poem to me now, I would cry just as much as she did. A month passed, my parents and Ye Shengnan's parents became anxious, calling from time to time to ask when we would go back, they still thought that Ye Shengnan and I were traveling outside.I can only perfunctory them, I should go back, my company and my project are left there, but I dare not go back, I go back, they can't see Ye Shengnan, what should I say?I was wandering on the street, wandering between hospitals, I was helpless, I fell into a predicament that I never thought of.

Hope and disappointment alternate endlessly and torture people's will and endurance most easily, just like the best steel can't stand the repeated tempering of ice water and stove.I almost collapsed and despaired. I wanted to go home, but I was unwilling, unbearable, and uneasy.I sat in front of the window of the hotel and looked at the night outside the window. In the sky, the speckled starlight seemed to be a broken state of mind. On the ground, the river formed by the taillights of cars was like the years that had passed away from me.I'm in a terrible mood, I feel both guilty and annoyed at Ye Shengnan, she is deliberately making things difficult for me, torturing me, I think, in that case, why not just go home, just like in the past, and wait to see her I don't believe how far it can go, that she will never see me again in her life.

I got up and started packing my things to check out, when my mobile phone rang, and the number showed that the call was from Beijing.Who will call me from Beijing?I answered the call, and it was Ye Shengnan's elder brother who called: "Hello, Yang Wei?" Hearing his voice, my mood was extremely complicated, and my emotions were a little out of control: "Who else am I if I am not Yang Wei? Why did you go to Beijing? I have called you thousands of times, why didn't you answer? Tell me Even if you, Ye Shengnan, are not my legal wife, you are also my son's legal mother, you have no right to take her around!"

The eldest brother was silent for a moment, and said something that shocked me: "Yang Wei, don't say anything else, you come to Beijing as soon as possible, Sheng Nan is dying, and we will talk about everything after we meet..." Speaking of which, eldest brother, The half-grown old man, who was heading towards sixty, actually choked up. My heart was beating violently, as if it was about to burst out of my throat, and I couldn't catch my breath, so that it was difficult to speak: "What's the matter? What's going on? Ye Shengnan, why can't she do it?" The eldest brother said: "I can't say a word clearly, you will know when you come. By the way, we are in Xiehe Hospital. You just come to the hospital. Are you taking a plane or a train?"

"Plane, why do you still take the train at this time? By the way, turn on your phone, I will contact you when I arrive." The eldest brother said dejectedly: "I don't even have any mobile phone. I asked Sheng Nan to throw it away a long time ago, just to prevent me from answering the phone. Well, you can come directly to Xiehe Hospital, and I will wait for you." The phone hung up, and there was a busy tone from inside. I couldn't figure out whether the phone was disconnected, or he hung up the phone, and quickly called back. The man who answered the phone was a man with a Beijing accent. He told me that it was a The public phone, the person who called just now has left. I asked him where the phone is, and he told me it was outside the east gate of Xiehe Hospital.

The next day, I took the first flight to Beijing, then took a taxi and went straight to Union Medical College Hospital.I have already found out my experience in looking for Ye Shengnan in a large hospital in the provincial capital, and went directly to the inpatient department to check on the patient Ye Shengnan.I found out that Ye Shengnan is indeed in neurosurgery.When I arrived at the neurosurgery ward, I was not allowed to go in, saying that it was not visiting hours and that I had to have a companion card to enter the ward.There was a lot of good words, and half a basket of bad words, but it was useless. The gatekeeper was very dedicated, and he didn't take hard things. In the end, he finally agreed to help me find Ye Shengnan's escort.I don’t know if it’s because I’m too nervous, or because I’ve been working so hard all day long. While waiting for the goalkeeper to call, I felt that I couldn’t hold on anymore. My legs were soft, my heart was beating and my breathing was short of breath, so I couldn’t care less about my image, so I squatted down to the wall next to the aisle. .

Ye Shengnan's elder brother hurried over from the other end of the corridor. I haven't seen him for a while. He has aged a lot, and he may not care about the oil-dyeing. His hair is already gray, his beard is unshaven, and he has lost a lot of weight: "So soon? It’s fine, it’s fine if you come.” I asked him: "How is it?" Without saying a word, he pulled me outside and said, "Go, let's talk outside." This is the corridor outside the ward, Ye Shengnan is in the ward, she can't hear what we say, I am anxious to see Ye Shengnan, and break free from his pull: "What are you doing? Where is Ye Shengnan?" The eldest brother looked into the inpatient department nervously, put his finger between his lips and let out a "shh", his sneaky appearance made me feel guilty, I really don't know what could make him nervous and timid In this state, even if Ye Shengnan is right in front of him, as the eldest brother, what can Ye Shengnan do to him?I asked him puzzled, "What's the matter? What are you afraid of? I want to see Ye Shengnan!" "Don't worry, don't worry, just listen to me first and see you later. Find a convenient place to talk, there is a lot to talk about." I had no choice but to follow him outside, and he led me all the way to the gate outside the hospital. A coffee shop: "Just sit here and let me explain the situation to you first. Let's discuss it and see what to do." At this time, I felt relieved. There are various signs that Ye Shengnan did not "die" as he said on the phone. If Ye Shengnan really "die", how could he have the leisure to drag me into a cafe to "discuss and discuss?" ". "What's going on? Didn't you say that you were transferred to the provincial capital? Why did you come to Beijing all of a sudden?" He ordered black tea for me, and coffee himself, and drank it for a while before saying, "It's hard to explain. Didn't you go home that day? Sheng Nan woke up not long after you left, and asked You, I told you that you have already been here and guarded her all night, now go home and rest, and come over with some things for hospitalization. She immediately started to make trouble, and she has to be transferred to another hospital immediately. You know, Sheng Nan was at home since she was a child I'm so used to it, I really can't do anything about it, and I don't dare to let my parents know about this matter. I want to call you to tell you, but she is determined not to let me. She insists that she doesn't want to see you again. Tell me What can I do in that situation? I told the hospital, and the hospital hoped that we would transfer away as soon as possible, because they couldn't cure them, and I was afraid that we would be responsible for the delay. So I went through the transfer procedures for her, saying at the time that she was going to the provincial hospital. When she arrived in the provincial capital, Sheng Nan said that the medical conditions in the provincial capital were not as good as those in Beijing, and she had to go directly to Beijing for treatment. I also know that this is a major issue related to whether Sheng Nan can stand up in the second half of her life. I promised her to fly directly from the provincial capital to Beijing to receive treatment. On the car to the airport, I received a call from you. I wanted to answer it. Knowing what happened between the two of you, it's not easy for me to ask if she doesn't tell me, aren't you divorced after all?" "Now? What happened to Sheng Nan? We're doing well. It's not as complicated as you imagined. We've already agreed to go through the remarriage procedures. If it wasn't for this incident, we'd have finished it." The eldest brother suddenly realized: "Aren't you guys having trouble? I thought you guys had a falling out again. Listen to me. When we were about to arrive at the airport, Sheng Nan suddenly said that he wanted to call you, so I gave her the phone. Thinking of her raising her hand and throwing the phone out of the car window, I wanted to ask the driver to stop to pick up the phone, but Sheng Nan was determined not to let her go, she was used to self-willedness, and she was seriously injured at the time, so I had to rely on her no matter what Ah, I'm just this younger sister, she grew up on my back..." Speaking of this, the eldest brother's eyes were red, and his voice was a little choked up, he took a sip of coffee, paused before continuing Said: "When I arrived in Beijing, I took her to look for hospitals everywhere. Through my friends, I was finally admitted to Xiehe Hospital. You also know that this hospital is also the top in our country. How much effort it takes to be able to live in it? Let me tell you, if this hospital can't cure Sheng Nan, then it can be said that there is no hospital in China that can cure Sheng Nan." I was still thinking about his words "Sheng Nan is dead", and I asked him impatiently: "You said Sheng Nan is dead, what happened? When I was in the Municipal People's Hospital, the doctor told me It's not life-threatening." The eldest brother frowned: "I didn't mean that when I said it was too bad, but her mental state. She refused to let me contact you. Although I know that you are living together again, I really don't know what's going on with you two." I don’t know, and it’s hard to ask. After the examination, the doctor said that further nerve repair surgery is needed. I don’t understand the specific surgery, so I can’t explain clearly, but the doctor said that even if the surgery is done, there is no guarantee that Sheng Nan can stand up and ask me whether the operation will be done or not? I promised to do it, and Sheng Nan will do it herself. This is a big deal, I dare not tell my parents, but I have to tell you, Sheng Nan Resolutely don't let me tell you, I'm not afraid of her, I guess she probably doesn't want to drag you down, after all, you are not husband and wife now, and Sheng Nan is very strong and self-respecting, so it is completely understandable for her to do so. As the eldest brother, I can only listen to her. From a financial point of view, I can still afford to operate on her. Even if I can’t afford it, Sheng Nan’s own financial conditions are fine. At that time, I thought, everything else It's a small matter, but it's a big thing to do the operation quickly. That's it, I haven't dared to contact you. " I was eager to know why Ye Shengnan "can't do it anymore", so I interrupted him and asked him: "You have said so much, what happened to Ye Shengnan? Didn't you say she can't do it?" The eldest brother said: "Don't worry, just listen to me. The operation is settled, but Sheng Nan is in a very bad mood, and her mood has not been normal. She often cries secretly when no one is around. At first, I didn't pay much attention to it. How can a woman not cry when encountering such a thing? The doctor said that there must be a period of physical strength before the operation. Specifically, it is necessary to strengthen nutrition and maintain a good physical and psychological state, so that the operation can be assured , It is also good for the recovery of the patient. But Sheng Nan just can't do it, she can't eat, she can't sleep well. It's only been more than a month, and she is so thin that she is out of shape. Said, I get angry when I ask anxiously, and get angry when I am restless. To put it bluntly, I have changed five nurses alone. Alas! A man can never understand a woman's mind, even though I am her elder brother , but I still don't know what happened to her. You said it was because of the injury. The doctor made it very clear that as long as the operation goes well, there is still a possibility of standing up. She shouldn't suffer so much. You Said it was because I missed you, but she refused to let me call to tell you. Two days ago, I called my family, and my family said that Sheng Nan went on a trip with you, and I haven’t seen you. I’m a little unhappy, although We discussed it and didn't tell the elderly at home, but you can't just leave this matter alone and never see each other again. I called your home to ask about your situation, and your parents also said that you were traveling with Sheng Nan I went, but I haven’t seen you. I’m wondering, it’s understandable that you’re afraid that my parents don’t show up when they know about Sheng Nan, but you won’t even see your own parents. I told Sheng Nan about it She didn't say anything, she just cried. I asked urgently, and she said, you must be in the provincial capital. I asked her what you are doing in the provincial capital, but she didn't say anything, just kept crying. I really I have no choice. I want to find Dandan, but she is even more determined not to let me, for fear of delaying Dandan’s study. Ever since she knew you were in the provincial capital, her mental state has become even worse. Eating is like taking medicine. Looking at the ceiling, I didn't say a word. I felt really uncomfortable seeing her like this, but there was nothing I could do. The doctor checked her before the operation yesterday and said that her current physical condition and mental state are not as good as when she was just admitted to the hospital. Under such circumstances, it is impossible to perform such a major operation. Ask me what is going on, how do I know what is going on? Well, I really have no choice. I am afraid after thinking about it. If she If things go on like this, let’s not talk about whether to have an operation or not. In case something goes wrong, I can’t tell anyone. Moreover, I have no one to discuss this matter. My parents dare not tell them at all. Others told them It's useless. In this situation, I hesitated again and again, so I had no choice but to call you behind her back. I thought, no matter what, you and Sheng Nan used to be husband and wife, and now you live together. You should understand her, can you Help me think about it, she has a knot in her heart, and if she doesn't get rid of this knot, she will really be doomed..." I understand, Ye Shengnan just doesn't want to drag me down, she feels that she has become like that now, instead of dragging me down for the rest of her life, it's better to break up with me now, that's the thing, according to Ye Shengnan's character, there is no other reason besides this .She is too strong a person, even for me, she is not willing to be weak.I said to my elder brother: "I have nothing to do with Sheng Nan, I am not angry, let alone falling out, she just doesn't want to drag me down, and she doesn't want me to see her like this. Don't worry, I will talk to her directly. It’s okay, if you had told me earlier, I’ve been running around in various hospitals in the provincial capital for almost a month, and I haven’t heard from you all this time, who knows you’ve come to Beijing.” The eldest brother said worriedly: "If you look at her directly, will she blame me? In her current situation, getting angry and emotional is not good for her health, let alone her treatment." This big brother is really an honest person. I said to him: "Don't even think about it. Even if she blames you, how much can she complain? Don't get angry, and her physical condition will be fine? Isn't it worse now? Okay? In this way, just say that I found it by myself, don't worry, I will follow you to see her now. " The eldest brother hesitated for a moment, then followed me and stood up: "Then you must be careful, don't make any troubles, we will not be able to explain it at that time." The eldest brother was so nervous that he even forgot to pay the bill, causing the waiter to follow behind to ask for money.I paid the bill and followed my elder brother to the hospital. It was already visiting time, and I entered the ward area without any trouble.Ye Shengnan's ward was in the innermost room of the corridor, and it was as quiet as if there were no living things in it.The moment I opened the door, my breathing was tense and my heart was beating violently. I have never been a timid person, and I have never been afraid of anyone, except my mother. However, this time there was a clerk who made a mistake Seeing big leaders, primary school students who failed the exam, seeing the head teacher is uneasy.I took two deep breaths, then pushed open the door of the ward, and I finally saw Ye Shengnan. The ward was dazzlingly white, with only two beds. If it didn't smell of Lysol, one would think it was a standard room in a hotel.The bed near the door was empty, and Ye Shengnan was lying face up on the bed near the window, with her face turned to the window. Outside the window, there was a branch of boxwood shining speckled green through the glass.Ye Shengnan's face was like a dead leaf falling in autumn, lifeless, withered and haggard.When I came in, she didn't seem to hear or feel someone coming in, and she didn't turn her head around, still staring out of the window. "Sheng Nan..." I called her softly, as if she had been struck by lightning, she turned her face trembling, and when she saw me, she screamed as if she had seen a ghost, and suddenly pulled up the quilt to cover her face. When I came to her bedside, she yelled desperately under the quilt: "Go away! You go! What are you doing here? Go away, I don't want to see you!" Although separated by a thick quilt, her unique dolphin sound still pierced through the quilt like an awl and hurt my ears.After half my life, I thought I knew her very well, but I couldn't figure out why she suddenly treated me like this. Do you hate me like this from the beginning?No matter how she treats me, I have no right to argue with her at this time. I sat by her bed and wanted to communicate with her slowly after she calmed down. I have the confidence to let her listen to me, because She has no good reason to do this to me. After a while, she stopped screaming and the quilt seemed to be convulsing. I knew she was crying.I started talking: "Sheng Nan, don't think too much, the most important thing now is to take good care of your body and undergo surgery. The doctor said that your injury can be cured, and you can stand up and dance like before. Don't think about it." Even if it can't be cured temporarily, what are you afraid of when I'm here?" Ye Shengnan ignored my words and kept crying. I don’t know if she heard me, because I don’t have her dolphin voice between sound waves and ultrasonic waves. Passed through the thick quilt to her ears.At this time, the eldest brother came in, probably because he was afraid of the sound of footsteps. His walking posture was abnormal, he touched the ground with his heels, and for some reason, his hands were curled up in front of his chest. Corns all over the toes.After meeting Ye Shengnan, I can imagine how much this big brother has suffered during this time.He asked me with his expression and eyes: "How is it?" I shook my head helplessly at him and told him with body language: "It's not good." He came to the bed cautiously, and said to Ye Shengnan cautiously: "Sheng Nan, don't be self-willed. Yang Wei has been looking for you everywhere in the provincial capital these days. Look at him, he is as thin as a dog. That's not all. I'm worried about you. If you have anything to say, you can make it clear in person, if you really don't want to see him, let's let him go back, but you can't keep tossing yourself like this, how can you deal with surgery without eating or drinking?" Ye Shengnan stopped crying, which was judged from the quilt's stop cramp. I went on to say: "Sheng Nan, I won't say anything in front of my eldest brother. I was the root cause of this incident. Your injury like this is worse than my own injury. If you can really do it all over again , I promise I will never let you suffer the slightest harm. But we are humans after all, not gods, and no one has foresight. If you really hate me because of this matter, I will admit it, and you can beat me and scold me. , just can’t ignore me. Besides, the matter has already happened, we should face it together, what is our relationship? We are husband and wife, even though we are not legally husband and wife now, but we still have balls This is a bond that no one can tear and break. Why don't you want to see me, don't want me to be with you? If you really don't want to see me, then I don't have to be in front of you, let your eyes Out of mind, out of mind, but I will never leave you, even if you scold me and beat me, I will never leave you." The eldest brother began to discuss with her: "Sheng Nan, that's it, let Yang Wei avoid it first, let's eat well, rest well, and do the operation as soon as possible, and then you can talk to him about what to do. If you make such a fuss, what if If there is another problem, how can I explain it to our parents..." At this point, the eldest brother choked up. At this time, I had no choice but to do what I thought I should do: "Sheng Nan, I'm leaving now, but just because I'm gone doesn't mean I'm not by your side. If you have anything to do, let Big Brother call me..." I turned around, feeling sore and bitter in my heart. A man does not flick his tears lightly, but I couldn't help the tears welling up in my eyes, because I really couldn't figure out why Ye Shengnan suddenly became Hate me so much.Just when she needed me the most, and when I needed her the most, she hated me like a fly.What am I doing wrong? I came to the door, and I couldn't lift my arms to pull the thin door, because, I don't know what will happen to me when I leave this room today.At this time, Ye Shengnan's voice came from behind me: "Yang Wei, come here." When I turned around, her face was exposed from under the quilt. I hadn't seen her for a month. That moist, plump face was already so haggard and withered, like a wilted cabbage that had overwintered.Both eyes were filled with tears, like unfathomable deep pools.She lay there looking so fragile, haggard and helpless, my heart was trembling with pain, I walked over and hugged her regardless. She suddenly burst into tears, and said as she cried, "Yang Wei, how could I hate you and hate you? I don't want you to see me in such a miserable state..." I suddenly understood that she was absolutely unwilling to appear in front of anyone, including me, as a weak person. This is her character. She cried, "I'm done, I can't let you see me lying on the bed like a dead body, I can't let you see me in a wheelchair, I can't, I can't..." I smiled with tears in my eyes: "Why are you so stupid? Who am I? I am Yang Wei, your husband, husband and wife, don't you understand? If I were you, I would never be like this, can you Never let me see you again? May I never see you again? You're a fool." She also laughed with tears, and I suddenly thought of my elder brother. We were both embarrassed to be like this in front of him. I turned my head and saw that my elder brother had sneaked away at some point, and even closed the door tightly for us. . I kissed Ye Shengnan, and I told her that I believe she will stand up again because she has me.Ye Shengnan told me that she also believes that she will be able to stand up again because she has me.I asked her why she didn't eat and why she didn't cooperate well with the doctor's treatment.Ye Shengnan was a little bit hesitant, but she still told me later——she missed me. I complained to her: "You want me to accompany you, but you don't want me to see you. Aren't you looking for trouble for nothing and tossing yourself?" Ye Shengnan said shyly, "Am I not a woman?" For dinner that day, Ye Shengnan ate half a catty of three fresh steamed dumplings and drank a big bowl of egg soup.The eldest brother looked at her eating excitedly, and sighed: "If I had known this, I would not have listened to her, and I would have called you over right away. The long delay was in vain." Ye Shengnan and I drove the eldest brother away, because there was still a lot of work in his family's unit. Since I was here, I couldn't continue to let this lovely elder brother suffer here.One month later, Ye Shengnan had an operation. The doctor told me that the operation went very well. If he can recover well after the operation and keep exercising, Ye Shengnan may stand up again. On the third day after returning home, Ye Shengnan and I went to the sub-district office to go through the remarriage procedures. Ye Shengnan was sitting in a wheelchair, and I pushed her. When we registered for marriage, we suddenly realized that we were both in our fifties. up.On the way home, Ye Shengnan tightly held the bag in her arms, which contained our marriage registration certificate.I looked at her back, she was sitting quietly in a wheelchair, her long hair draped over her shoulders was like a waterfall, her delicate ears were not wearing earrings, and the fine down on her sideburns became brilliant under the sunlight gold wire.At this moment, my marriage history with Ye Shengnan, from love, marriage, childbirth, divorce, illegal cohabitation (this is the definition my mother gave us, the fashionable word is cohabitation, there is no word illegal) to remarriage, whether it is Cold disappointment or warm happiness, whether it is a bitter piece or a sweet wandering, are the journeys we have traveled together, and the shining days we have shared together.These thoughts dancing in my head were like beautiful flowers sprinkled in my heart, suddenly a warm tide flooded my heart, I couldn't help but stop, and held her cheek from behind, She turned around and smiled at me, tears welling up in her eyes.I saw happiness from her smile and tasted sweetness from her tears. I put my mouth next to her ear and told her softly: "I am very happy and very happy." She said: "It would be great if we could do it all over again!" I said, "If it wasn't our life, it's our life now. Let's get on with it together, and you'll be able to get back on your feet." Ye Shengnan didn't speak, I pushed her silently, walked past a paulownia tree, the paulownia tree was covered with lavender flowers, as if clouds from the sky had fallen to the top of the tree, a few petals fell on her hairline and shoulders.