My wife's name is Ye Shengnan, and she told me that the homonym of her name is Sheng Nan, which is better than male.I guess her parents didn't have any good intentions when they named her this, hoping that she would be better than her man, which is me.I guess her parents are not so arrogant as to hope that she can beat all men.My wife fulfills her parents' wishes with her practical actions, and wants to surpass me at home and abroad.Can she beat me?That's for others to judge.The homonym of her name can also be understood as "becoming a boy", which means that after getting married, she will have a boy, which she did.

Our love process lasted for eight years, as long as the Anti-Japanese War. During the period, we went through hardships. Although we got married in the end, there were all kinds of signs at the beginning that indicated that our relationship would neither start well nor end well.There is a long story about my relationship with her, which can be traced back to more than forty years ago, when I was in the fifth grade with her.It was she who saw me first, she did not deny it, she said that girls matured earlier than boys, so even though I often wiped my nose with my sleeves and wore pants with patches on the buttocks at that time, she still felt that I was The most handsome boy in the city.

At that time, I was the tallest in the class, and I was also the oldest. I was two years older than my classmates. It wasn’t because I didn’t study well enough to repeat a grade, but because my parents supported the frontier construction and brought me here. I spent two years in a wilderness with neither a school nor a teacher. When I returned to the world, the child my age was already in the second grade. "Maybe I liked you because you were big at that time. I never thought that the bigger you are, the more useless you are." This is what she, my wife, said every now and then after she successfully married me.In fact, at that time I had no intention of doing anything to her, and I had no feelings for her at all in the current fashion.At that time, her image was really hard to compliment.When she was in the fifth grade, her small yellow face was no bigger than a hand, her pointed nose was covered with freckles like fly droppings, and the hair on her head was more like weeds than hair.If the skin was darker, the photos taken back then are now posted on the Internet, and netizens will definitely regard them as recent photos of African child refugees.Seeing her reminds me of the wilted green onions that were sold in the market before they were ripe and then dried in the sun for a long time, or the chicks that were shaved and sold in the market.

Her father is a cadre, the director, and her mother also works, washing vegetables in the office cafeteria. The combined income of her father and her mother is more than the average person.At that time, both parents in the family went to work and did not earn a lot of money. Generally, men went to work to earn money, and women cooked at home and took care of their children.It's a pity that there are quite a few children in their family. Counting her five, the money earned by her parents is the same as the GDP of our country. It seems that there is a lot, and it is not much to spread to each individual.Because her parents' income is not much for her, even though she is the only girl in their family, her clothes are not much better than mine, with two big patches on her knees and a patch on her butt forever Well, the patch on her buttocks is the result of her using the banister as a slide, and with a little guesswork, it's clear that she's wearing clothes her brother retired from the military, but dyed with paint.In those days, it didn't matter if a boy had patches on his clothes, but she was a woman, and she would lose face if she had patches.The only thing she is better than others is that she is good at studying, and she always gets high scores in exams, and she is usually ranked among the top three in the class.Teacher Hu asked her to be the class chairperson, to stand up in get out of class, to stand up after class, to check homework, hygiene, and discipline. She was serious and busier than the teacher.

The deepest impression I had on her at that time was closely related to Caibaozi.That day I found her sitting on the seat after class and eating buns with relish, which made my mouth water.I sat behind her and couldn't help asking: "Ye Shengnan, what's the matter?" She looked back at me without saying a word.With steamed stuffed buns, you have the capital of arrogance, and you ignore people after eating steamed stuffed buns?Thinking of this, I felt a little angry. I was about to stretch out my foot to kick her stool, but I felt something alive under the table touched the leg I was about to kick. I lowered my head and squeezed a small black and thin hand. The white buns, I looked up at Ye Shengnan, she was still in that posture, eating her buns without looking back.I reached out and took the bun under the table and couldn't wait to take a bite. It was stuffed with cabbage and mixed with shrimp skin. It was so delicious!The steamed stuffed bun went into my stomach, I still couldn't finish it, so I asked her in a low voice, "Is there any more?" She still ignored me, as if she didn't hear what I said at all.The next day, at the same time and under the same circumstances, I ate Ye Shengnan's steamed buns stuffed with cabbage and shrimp skin again, this time two.Since then, I have been able to eat Ye Shengnan's stuffed cabbage stuffed buns from time to time. I have never told anyone about this, not because I am afraid that others will say what happened to me and her, but because I want to eat alone. Knowing this, we must share the food, at least one bite per person.

Our homeroom teacher, Mr. Hu, that woman who looks confused and is in her thirties and still has a backlog of being unable to get married, especially admires Ye Shengnan.At that time, she and I were typical of both positive and negative aspects in the class. Teacher Hu compared her to me: "You are like a pig, you can eat except for humming, and fight if you don't. Look at Ye Shengnan, she is sensible, Whether you are capable or good at studying, can't you win over your parents like others?" Throughout the elementary school age, I was both jealous and afraid of Ye Shengnan, and I had no choice but to do so.Ribs, braised pork and battered bread are as good as I am, and there is no promising guy.We have one thing in common: poor study.The last few in the class were surrounded by us for a long time, and the last one was exchanged among us.The few of us are also the most common targets for Mr. Hu to practice shooting. During class, any student who commits such crimes as dozing off, making small movements, whispering, and not paying attention to the lecture will be shot by Mr. Hu.The bullets Mr. Hu shoots at us are chalk tips. Mrs. Hu is good at this. The chalk tips she shoots are accurate and powerful, just like miniature missiles. The error range is no more than two centimeters.The action of her shooting chalk head is very similar to people throwing darts nowadays. The thumb, index finger and middle finger hold the chalk head, raise her arm to the right eye, aim slightly and throw it out. Immediately, some students screamed and were hit. There will be traces of chalk on the forehead or the tip of the nose of the students, and sometimes a small pimple will appear.

In addition to Mr. Hu, there is another person that I hate, that is braised pig's trotters. This nickname was given to him by Mr. Hu.The characteristic of this guy is that it is dirty, the capacity of the nose tube is small, it can't hold the snot, and there are always two long yellow sticky liquids trying to cross the big mouth under his nose, but every time those two When the first yellow earthworm was about to cross successfully, he would suck, and he quietly retracted the two yellow earthworms back into his nostrils.The lower part of his face can never be washed cleanly, starting from the lower edge of the cheeks, the color is black, and the braised pork often says that it is not the neck, but the axle.Every time when checking personal hygiene, Mr. Hu would look at his rough and cracked black hands and ask him with a look of disgust, "When can you turn these two braised pig's feet into human hands?" Naturally, he was called Braised Pig's Trotter.I don't know why the braised pig's trotters always look at me disliked, he never calls me by my name, he calls me mule.He said that I was big, and my head jumped forward when I walked, like a mule.At that time, we had just come back from the shadow of three years of natural disasters, and we had everything but food, and we still had an unusual interest in food. Whenever we saw someone who looked special, it was always easy to connect with food. , so most of our nicknames are related to food.Ribs, because he is thin, always reminds people of ribs in a butcher shop.The characteristic of braised pork is fat, and the meat all over the body is the same as the trembling braised pork in a basin.The two cheeks of the burnt bread are exactly two pieces of bread, but they are black, and to see him reminds one of burnt bread.

Maybe the nickname braised pig's trotters gave me had nothing to do with food, so it didn't attract people's interest. Maybe other classmates were afraid of me and didn't dare to call me after him, so no one except him called me a mule.But he was steadfast and persistent in calling me a mule.I didn't want to be a mule, so I often clashed with him. Whenever he called me a mule, I would kick his ass, or put his head in my crotch, and beat his back like a drum.However, he relentlessly pestered me and insisted on calling me a mule.I don't know why he does this, I have no conflict of interest with him, his hatred for me is natural, and our battle seems to be endless.Sometimes I can't do anything about him, I wear him out and don't even bother to hit him.He is not my opponent in fights, but no matter how hard I beat him, he never cries. His two flaming eyes stare at me viciously, and there are never tears in his eyes.

Summer is here, the weather is hot and scorching, we are sweating profusely when we walked from home to school, and we can't wait to go to the classroom to cool off immediately.But the school has a rule that the school gates only open ten minutes before class starts. We lack the sense of time and we don’t have watches. If we don’t want to be punished for being late, we have to go to school early. When we get to school, we can’t enter the gate, so we have to bask in the sun. I couldn't bear the sun, and I thought of the water on the Yellow River beach.The cool and cool river water became an irresistible temptation. When I thought of the pleasure of soaking my almost cooked flesh in the river water, I got carried away and said to the braised pork: "It's still early, who will tell me?" Shall I go swimming?" I said that swimming is just a habitual way of expression, where do we know how to swim?It's just soaking in the water and flopping around. To be precise, it should be playing with water.Braised pork and pork ribs responded enthusiastically to my proposal as usual, but the battered bread said hesitantly: "If you can't come back in time for class, you will be in trouble."

"If you want to go, follow along, if you don't go, you will fall down." The few of us made up our minds to have a good time. Whether we can come back to class in a hurry has already squeezed out the desire to play with water. Battered Bread followed us hesitantly. "You guys want to play truant, don't go!" It was Ye Shengnan who stopped us.She is the class chairperson and the squadron leader. She wears two stripes on her arms. At this time, her two thin arms are crossed on her small waist, like a praying mantis showing its teeth and claws.I usually annoy her, but I dare not provoke her because I am afraid of Mr. Hu's power, because she is Mr. Hu's celebrity and can exercise management power on Mr. Hu's behalf.This is outside the school, and Teacher Hu is not there. Her authority has no support, and I don't care about her at all.

I yelled: "Come on!" We rushed towards her like a tide, she was hit by us and squatted, she got up and chased, shouting while chasing: "Don't go, you will drown Yes, stop! If you don’t stop, I’ll sue Teacher Hu.” How could she outrun us, and we threw her far behind in a moment. The Yellow River rolls with turbid waves, and there is a shallow shoal on the bank of the river. This is our paradise.Before we got there, we felt the refreshing dampness.We ran to the river and couldn't wait to take off our clothes, stripped them clean one by one, and jumped into the water "plop plop".The river water was turbid, with a huge temperature difference from the ground. As soon as we jumped down, the cold immediately soaked into our hearts. After a few cold wars from the inside out, our bodies gradually adapted to the temperature of the river water, and we began to act recklessly.The river here is not deep, only up to the chest, we made various postures to "swim", but in fact it was just flopping around.We have a diving competition to see who can hold their breath for a long time in the water. I will shout "one, two, three", and then everyone will pinch their noses and bury their heads in the water. After I finish shouting, those idiots immediately bury their heads in the water However, I kept my head out of the water as usual, and at the same time observed them carefully. When one of them couldn't hold back anymore and was about to lift his head from the water, I dived into the water again.My trick was inspired by braised pig's trotters. He often used Teacher Hu to insult me ​​when he turned around to write, and held up the paper with "Mule" high up for the students to see, and waited until Teacher Hu turned around before pretending to listen to the class seriously. .This trick is very effective when used in diving competitions. Every time I dive, I greatly exceed them. They admire my extraordinary lung capacity and extraordinary diving skills.We started a water fight, attacking each other with water splashes from slapping hands, you splashed me and I splashed you for a scuffle. We had so much fun, we forgot the heat, the daunting teacher Hu, the time, and everything else. In our eyes, the water of the Yellow River and the joyful feeling are the whole world. Suddenly Ribs screamed: "Teacher Hu has arrested us!" I looked up and saw Mr. Hu standing angrily by the river, with his hands on his hips, and looked coldly at the truant students.Ye Shengnan stood aside, holding our clothes in his hands.I’m really ashamed. We were so uncivilized at that time that we had to wear trousers when we entered the water. We were all naked and splashed in the water. Our clothes were controlled by Mr. Hu and Ye Shengnan. Going ashore, one by one shrank in the water like toads encountering natural enemies. "Come up to me!" Teacher Hu roared angrily. "If you don't go up, give us your clothes." I didn't dare to answer, and the braised pork made a request. "Just come up naked, I'd like to see your virtue." Teacher Hu is not afraid that we half-children will be naked, she deliberately does not give us clothes, trampling our self-esteem. "Fuck, hooligan, you're being a hooligan, the woman is stealing the man's clothes, you're being a hooligan!" Papa Bread yelled, trying to force Mr. Hu to return the clothes to us by force.Teacher Hu said coldly: "Don't you guys like to make muddy soup? I'll let you make enough today, and I'll let you come up when your parents come." We were all dumbfounded, and no one thought that she would come up with such a vicious idea.People are often drowned in the Yellow River. Parents strictly forbid swimming in the Yellow River. If anyone swims in the Yellow River, as long as the parents know about it, they will not be able to sit on a chair in class the next day. Their buttocks will definitely be swollen.We were in a stalemate with Mr. Hu, the river was very cold, and it started to get cold when we were not active. We began to shiver, and our teeth began to chatter. The first one to arrive was the pork ribs.Seeing the ribs' mother coming, Mr. Hu asked the ribs to pick out the clothes of the ribs, and then let the ribs go ashore, and the ribs put on the pants in a panic. Before he put on his jacket and pants, his mother couldn't wait to grab him He whipped his skinny butt with the sole of his shoe, and the ribs immediately swept away his prestige. He wailed and begged for mercy: "Don't dare again! Don't dare again!..." Then, our parents arrived one after another, and we all suffered the same fate as ribs, and were punished by our parents with various cruel methods and sent home.My dad is more civilized and didn't deal with me on the spot, but I know that this doesn't mean that I will be luckier than others. My dad has his own way of disciplining me.My dad is a cadre, not a big official, maybe he can only rank fifth in our city, probably a deputy secretary or deputy mayor or something like that.His salary is quite high. At that time, he could already take home more than two hundred yuan a month. My mother was also a small cadre, probably at the department level, and could earn sixty or seventy yuan a month. Our family’s income was higher than that of ordinary people. It is four or five times higher, but unfortunately our family has more people to support, in addition to our brothers and sisters, there are also grandparents from our hometown, so the situation of our family is somewhat similar to that of Ye Shengnan's family. There are more wolves and less meat, and the total output value cannot afford it. The number of people is divided equally, so we never feel that our family is much richer than others.Because my father is a senior official, his method of rectifying me is also more civilized. He doesn't hit me. Hitting me is my mother's patent. When I was young, she didn't hit me very much. Twist my flesh hard, she said that it hurts so much, it can remind me that it won't hurt my muscles and bones, and it will save her effort.After entering the sixth grade of primary school, she stopped twisting me and used various utensils, such as rolling pins, broom bumps, feather dusters, etc. I guess she was afraid that the rebound would hurt her hands.My dad's trick is to let me reflect on the problem on all fours. The time for introspection depends on the severity of the mistake, the longest half a day, and the shortest half an hour.This posture gives people a sense of humiliation and serious damage to self-esteem, but my dad didn't care about it. When he got home, he banned my right to stand upright, making me stand like a pig, dog, cow and sheep. Cows and sheep are inferior. Pigs, dogs, cattle and sheep can move freely on all fours, but I can only stay where I am.The basic requirement for maintaining this posture is that the limbs must be straight and cannot be bent. Once bent, all previous efforts will be wasted and the time must be recalculated.To be honest, I'd rather let my mother pinch me than let my father insult and bully me in this way. This time the situation was serious. After my dad ordered me to do a good posture, there was no set time. I thought he forgot, so I reminded him: "How long will it take to reflect?" My dad glared at me: "There is no time!" My Oh my god, that means my punishment is indefinite.I lay on my stomach helplessly, and my younger brother Er Dan and my younger sister came and went to watch the fun, which made my sense of humiliation unabated. "Dad, my brother's leg is bent." "Dad, my brother's arm is bent." "Dad, my brother is sweating." ... These two little things took the initiative to take on the role of punishment supervision, and constantly informed my dad about my status, and my dad would come over to sort out my posture and movements at any time. The way he sorted out my posture and movements was to use a bamboo stick to measure my The distance from the ground, if there is any irregularity, I use this bamboo stick to whip my distorted parts, much like a strict master in a martial arts movie.That night I lay on the ground for a full three hours. When I was put up, my arms and legs were like wooden sticks that could not be bent, and the pain was unbearable as if they were about to be broken when I moved. He was tortured and insulted the night before, but he had to go to school as usual the next day.Knowing that Mr. Hu had to punish us, I went to school on time. If I didn’t go, I would be counted as absent from class. This is really a helpless life.Sure enough, the ribs, battered bread, and braised pork were punished by Mr. Hu.The four of us stood in front of the podium facing the whole class. When Mr. Hu gave a lecture, we just stood and listened.Braised pig's trotters started to play his tricks as usual, wrote "a mule can't bear a colt" on the paper, and held it up to us when Mr. Hu turned to write on the blackboard.I was furious but helpless. At this time, Ye Shengnan suddenly yelled: "Report!" Teacher Hu turned around suddenly, and the braised pig's trotters had no time to retract his slogan, and finally the teacher found out.Teacher Hu was furious: "What are you doing with braised pig's trotters?" The title of braised pig's trotters has obviously been approved by Mr. Hu, and she actually called the braised pig's trotters that way when she was enraged.The braised pig's trotters put away the slogan in a panic. Teacher Hu went over and searched the slogan out of his desk, and asked sharply, "What do you mean?" The stewed pig's trotters muttered without answering, but said with bread: "Mr. Hu, he scolded you!" Teacher Hu asked, "What did you scold me for?" Paste Bread said: "He often said that you are tall like a mule, and that if you don't have children, it means that a mule can't have a foal." Mrs. Hu was furious, she is still unmarried at such an age, and of course it is impossible to have children. For a woman, this is like suffering from some kind of unspeakable hidden disease. others know.Let Paste Bread explain it this way, the behavior of the braised pig's trotters was as embarrassing and angry as if she had stripped Teacher Hu's clothes in public. She threw a handful of chalk on the braised pig's trotters' head with the technique of a goddess scattering flowers Come on, and then drag him to us, let him also stand in front of the podium.There is limited space next to the podium, so Teacher Hu asked him to stand in front of us.This is great, as soon as Mr. Hu turned around to write, we kicked the stewed pig's feet. It was very enjoyable when you kicked me. The stewed pig's feet are so strong, we kicked him and he didn't say a word.Suddenly Ye Shengnan shouted again: "Report!" Teacher Hu asked, "What's the matter?" Ye Shengnan said: "Report to the teacher, they are kicking braised pig's trotters." Teacher Hu asked half-believingly, "Did they kick you?" The braised pig's trotters remained silent, and Teacher Hu asked us again: "Did you kick him?" We answered in unison: "No!" Teacher Hu lowered his head to look at the trousers of braised trotters. There were our shoe prints on the trousers. Teacher Hu asked, "Whose footprints are on his trousers?" We all shook our heads: "I don't know." Ye Shengnan yelled, "They lied to the teacher, and when the teacher turned around to write on the blackboard, they kicked him, really hard." At this time, something happened that surprised us all. The extremely strong stewed pig's trotters suddenly burst into tears.Teacher Hu asked him to roll up his trouser legs. He couldn't help crying, but Teacher Hu rolled up his trouser legs by himself. His legs were bruised and blue, and covered with scars.Teacher Hu became angry. She bent her middle finger into a crutch and hit us on the forehead: "Why is he so vicious at a young age? What kind of hatred does he have with you and you treat him like this? He scolded me and I didn't touch him." One finger, why do you treat your classmates like this?" Her bone crutch was like a small hammer made of steel, and it hurt us deeply when it hit our heads. The braised pig's trotters sobbed aggrievedly and said, "I didn't scold the teacher." Teacher Hu paused tapping and asked, "What did you write without scolding me?" "I scolded the mule." He pointed at me as he spoke. At this time, he still insisted on calling me by my nickname, which really made me a little ridiculous and troubled. Teacher Hu was stunned for a while, then sighed and said: "You guys are so young that you are so young, you are so intriguing and framing each other, I can't imagine what you will be like when you grow up. You all go home, you have to go to class. Let your parents send you here, if your parents don’t come, you don’t have to go to class.” Although Teacher Hu is cruel, she never calls the students' parents lightly. This time, it seems that she is completely disappointed in us.The five of us were kicked out of the classroom, including braised pig's trotters.After leaving the school gate, the stewed pig's trotters did not avoid us, but walked with us as if a dead pig is not afraid of boiling water.The battered bread poked me and raised my chin. I knew what he meant. He was encouraging me to repair the braised pig's trotters again.I am facing a catastrophe, I have no master, and I am racking my brains on how to invite my parents. Besides, the tenacity and fighting spirit of the stewed pig's trotters also makes me exhausted, so I have no interest in provoking him at this time. Ribs imitated him by grinning at the stewed pig's trotters: "Wow, Mr. Hu, they kicked me, it made my ass red." The braised pork pinched his throat to imitate Ye Shengnan: "Mr. Hu, they beat my braised pig's trotters..." At this time, another extraordinary event happened beyond our expectations.The braised pork was just learning about it, when the stewed pig's trotters suddenly rushed towards him, hugged him and started wrestling.Braised pork is our best buddy, of course we can't let him suffer, so we swarmed up and grabbed the stewed pig's trotters. Instead of taking the opportunity to beat him up when we got sidetracked like in the past, we stood with our arms akimbo. Looking at him up and down on the opposite side of him, after looking at him for a while, he suddenly burst out laughing. The stewed pig's trotters and us both made him laugh. You, or I'll beat you to death. Tell me, have you taken a fancy to Ye Shengnan? Haven't you?" The braised pig's trotters were flushed, I don't know if it was because of embarrassment or because we had to hold back.The question about braised pork was unexpected, I was stunned for a moment, then understood, and stabbed him on the chest of braised pork trotters: "Are you dating Ye Shengnan? Tell me, if you don't tell me, I will sue Ye Shengnan." Dad go." The stewed pig's trotters got anxious and shook us off violently: "No, you are talking nonsense!" After saying that, he turned around and ran away. They still want to chase, I said forget it, it's okay, it's okay, it's not good, it has nothing to do with us, our troubles are in front of us-please parents, this is a disaster for me. Ribs said: "I think they are really on the mend, otherwise how would Ye Shengnan speak for him?" Paste Bread said: "That's not necessarily true. The day before yesterday she helped Yang Wei with his homework. Just now, the stewed pig's trotters wrote a slogan scolding Yang Wei for being the teacher she sued. Can you say that she and Yang Wei are also on good terms?" Yang Wei is my name, the homophony of this name is very disrespectful, thanks to the fact that we were young at that time and lacked knowledge about sex, if it were placed on the streets today, there would be advertisements all over the streets for the treatment of hidden diseases that make men lose face, my dad would give it to me This name is sure to become the laughing stock of everyone. Ribs scratched his head and said puzzledly: "I always think this kid is on good terms with Ye Shengnan." Paste Bread asked, "What proof do you have?" Ribs said: "There is no evidence, but I think Ye Shengnan cried like that when he was helping him today. Think about it, when did he cry when Yang Wei beat him? I don't think it's right." They are still studying braised pig's trotters and Ye Shengnan with great interest. I don't know why I started to feel slightly excited and interested in it. This is the first time I have grown up to know the men and women who live around me and are familiar with me. I admit I was shaken by the affair. Maybe I belong to the kind of person who developed relatively late, maybe I just thought about making troubles and mischievous thoughts and didn't use it in the right place, and I really didn't have much interest in the opposite sex at that time.I look down on girls a bit, thinking that they are all like dolls, and they are also delicate. Their common feature is that they love to ask the teacher to complain, and they cry every now and then, which is annoying.The things I am interested in, such as shooting birds with a slingshot, playing in the river, making a boat out of half-stolen and half-picked wood from the construction site and putting it in the ditch to imagine riding the wind and waves, catching lizards in the wild and tying their tails with ropes Keeping pets, "bumping" in winter (a children's sports event where one leg bends and bumps into another, and whoever falls down loses), "riding a donkey" in summer (whoever loses at the boxing game picks up the winner and runs around the playground), etc. Wait, etc., these activities that are of great interest to me are not liked by any girl. They have different ways and do not conspire with each other, so I have never had a fate with girls. Ye Shengnan lives in the same compound as my family. I just want to laugh when I mention her. Her appearance is too ordinary. I was afraid that she would tell Teacher Hu to punish me.A few times, if it wasn't for the fact that she was a girl, I really wanted to beat her up.It's unbelievable that braised pig's trotters can get along well with her, and she can get along well with braised pig's trotters.It would be fun if the two of them really "got together" like the braised pork they said, and the two ugly monsters would be funny together.