Chapter 4 Chapter 3 Invisible Suicide

In this world, love is destined to be the life of a passionate woman. When love is betrayed and annihilated, then what else can I give you?Only then can you continue to be happy... Besides death, what else can I choose?Let you not be a sinner... Beck looked at the photos in the newspaper and shook her head involuntarily. She felt ashamed and uncomfortable in her heart. A month ago, she came in the rain and stood in front of her dripping with water. Her eyes were full of blankness and hopelessness. The trembling hands kept surrounding the hot water cup, as if they were borrowing some warmth from the water cup to dispel the dampness and cold...

Although it is autumn, the cold air is still mild. Bei Ke knows that, like most mental patients, her coldness probably comes from the heart, not the outside world. Apart from talking about it, she did not accept Becker's treatment plan: I know that I am suffering from depression and heart disease, who can cure it except myself? After leaving the clinic, there was no news of her. Occasionally, Bei Ke would think of this woman with a smoky face, and vaguely remembered the moment when she left the clinic, there was a smile in her eyes, a bright smile, but in Bei Ke But in my heart, that smile, no matter how I think about it, is like a flower, bright and a little bleak at the moment before the curtain call, as if hidden in it at the touch of a trigger.

In the evening, Jiang Zhonglai glanced tiredly at the newspaper on the coffee table: "Hey, it's a pity, she always thought that her husband and the doctor teamed up to hide her illness, which was just gallstones, but she believed that she had terminal liver cancer. Cut myself off, I have never seen a man so sad, he hugged her body and sat on the rails, without making a sound, what seemed to flow from his eyes was not tears, but a continuous stream of water. " "Is her name Shen Xiaoting?" "You know her?" Bei Ke heard a small and cold smile rolling in his heart: "She is my patient, do you want to hear the story of Shen Xiaoting and her infatuated husband?"

In the autumn of 8 years ago, 22-year-old Shen Xiaoting came to this city with simple luggage. She walked endlessly along the railway until her heart was full of courage, and she called Zhang Zhen: "I Here we are, at the railway crossing, if you don’t take me in, I’ll let Death take me in.” An hour later, Zhang Zhen, who was anxious and distraught, appeared in front of her. Tears rushed out of Shen Xiaoting's eyes. She reached out to wipe the sweat on Zhang Zhen's forehead, but Zhang Zhen dodged it. Then, she saw An angry woman stood behind Zhang Zhen. She looked at her, stunned for a while, then tried her best to raise her lowered head. She knew who she was, the new girlfriend Zhang Zhen had talked about when he swung a knife to kill his love in the letter on the phone.In the last letter, Zhang Zhen once said: "Xiaoting, please let me go, I really don't love you anymore, I have fallen in love with someone else." Shen Xiaoting only replied a few words: "But, I Still love you."

The woman behind her should be Zhang Zhen's new love. Along the way, Zhang Zhen never looked at her, and walked ahead with her luggage in one hand and his girlfriend's hand in the other. Shen Xiaoting looked at their holding hands, and tears slowly flowed down. The man in front was her first love, and Now, Zhang Zhen no longer cares about it. To him, he is like an outdated old dress that is rejected by fashion-forward women. Zhang Zhen registered her in the hotel, took her in, put down her luggage, and tried to leave without saying a word. Shen Xiaoting did the same, picked up her luggage and followed behind without saying a word.Zhang Zhen finally couldn't bear it anymore: "Shen Xiaoting, I said that the relationship between us is over, what do you want?"

Shen Xiaoting said calmly: "Love is a matter between two people. If you want to end it, you have to ask for my consent. I don't want to do anything. I just want to love you. Have you forgotten? You climbed the mountain behind my back, you taught me to kiss... you still He said he would love me for the rest of his life... I will never forget that year, when you were a junior and I was a freshman, you said that we would be together after graduation." Shen Xiaoting said with a smile, tears slowly slid down her cheeks, her eyes, through the tears, stared at the pair of tightly held hands, now, she saw a hand struggling to pull out Go, one hand, trying to keep them, they gradually collapsed in the struggle of wanting to go and keep...

The sound of heels hitting the pavement spread from near to far in despair, Shen Xiaoting took Zhang Zhen's hand that was alone in the air, and said, "Let's go, take me home." That autumn, without any ceremony, Shen Xiaoting became Zhang Zhen's wife. What she wanted was nothing more than that, a man who kept his promise, and a love that she could not give up. Other people's first marriage is sweet, but Shen Xiaoting's first marriage is like a cup of boiled water that has been sitting for a long time, neither cold nor hot, Shen Xiaoting doesn't care, she believes that one day, she will use water-like tenderness to melt away the unwillingness condensed in Zhang Zhen's heart .

Sure enough, yes.The infatuation of men in the world is no match for the temptation of lust that is close at hand. What's more, Shen Xiaoting is beautiful, and her love is gentle and gentle. Those romantic stories that have not yet become a reality will gradually fade away. In just half a year, the two have turned from a resentful couple when they first met to an admirable and warm little couple. In front of Zhang Zhen, Shen Xiaoting was not as curious as other women, and never inquired about any news about his lost old love and his own feelings in the attitude of a winner. Smart women should be like this, they must be forgiving and forgiving, Apart from arousing the pain in his heart and causing contempt for himself, what else would those curiosity have?

Shen Xiaoting did not do such foolish actions, but occasionally thought about what happened to her after parting with Zhang Zhen?Have you ever met someone you love to recuperate your old pain, and secretly hope that she will have a good life and a good love, so that Zhang Zhen will be determined to grow old happily with him. Four years later, their love moved from the old house to the new one. At night, Shen Xiaoting said: "The days are too peaceful, let's have a baby." Zhang Zhen thought for a while and said, "How about waiting another two years? I want to take the bar exam this year."

Shen Xiaoting agreed. In today's fierce competition in the workplace, everyone is in danger. Having an extra certificate in hand is an extra guarantee of survival, which is understandable. When Zhang Zhen said: "From now on, I will go to the old house to read books after get off work, and it will be quieter over there. At home here, I will always have you in my heart, and my heart will not be on the book." As he said, he twisted Shen Xiaoting's nose and laughed: "Little vixen..." Shen Xiaoting's heart is so beautiful, like a trembling flower in the light rain.

Before midnight on weekends, Zhang Zhen lived in his old home. He returned home quietly in the middle of the night. He sneaked his hands under the quilt and grabbed Shen Xiaoting's feet, covering his chest. Shen Xiaoting's heart was filled with happiness. Occasionally, a friend would jokingly remind Shen Xiaoting that several surprise inspections should be carried out on Zhang Zhen in the old house, and Shen Xiaoting would laugh: "If you love him, trust him." Just like a few years ago, Shen Xiaoting was confident that she could catch Zhang Zhen who had lost her mind. Now, she is confident that she has enough magnetic field to attract Zhang Zhen to her side. How can she do such unconfident things as surprise inspections? of? Until, that weekend, when she was tired from shopping, she happened to be downstairs in her old house, and wanted to go up to rest for a while, but she refused to go straight up to make Zhang Zhen feel that she had ulterior motives for coming, so she sat in the flower bed downstairs and gave He texted: I'm shopping near my old home, how about I go up and sit down later? Zhang Zhen returned quickly and said: Madam is welcome to come and have a rest. When Shen Xiaoting was about to go up, she saw a woman hurrying downstairs. Shen Xiaoting was stunned. She would never forget that face even after ten or twenty years. Back then, she came to this city. , just to snatch Zhang Zhen back from her. Looking at her long exhausted and sad back, Shen Xiaoting sat on the flower bed as if in a daze. It wasn't until Zhang Zhen sent a text message to ask where he was, that he suddenly came to his senses, moved his fingers bluntly and pressed down: Forget it, I'd better go home. What are you going to see?Going to see a fun place that has been cleaned up so that no trace can be seen?To sniff those remaining breaths of torment. After crying, Shen Xiaoting, who was leaning on the door, finally understood: it turns out that time is not a good medicine for forgetting a person. When the time is right, those old loves are like weeds in the spring breeze, growing mightily. It was night, Zhang Zhen came back, she looked at his face, so that he could not escape for a moment, and said nothing, met her eyes, Zhang Zhen smiled, Shen Xiaoting said quietly: "I love you so much." When Zhang Zhen said that, he touched her face, as if his love and sympathy were boundless, but Shen Xiaoting knew that it was just a performance. During his performance, Shen Xiaoting suddenly felt sad that there was no trace of the quiet salvation that could be implemented. In the depression, Shen Xiaoting gradually became thinner, as thin as paper, and she often felt a dull pain in her chest, and she often covered herself, looking at Zhang Zhen, to see if there was pity and love in his eyes.Zhang Zhen saw it, and she refused to drag her to the hospital. If the sickness of the body could arouse his pity, and he couldn't bear to give it up, what was the pain in the body?However, the pain became more and more severe, and her thin body couldn't take it anymore, so Zhang Zhen swung her on his back and went to the hospital. Laboratory tests, CT, surgery... Zhang Zhen said that she had gallstones. During the hospitalization, Zhang Zhen was busy. In the middle of the night, when she fell asleep, Zhang Zhen tiptoed and talked in the corridor, and she burst into tears. Most of the time, it's just a false sleep. From a few words, how much Zhang Zhen loves that woman? Every time Zhang Zhen went to the hallway to make a phone call, he would call her softly: "Xiaoting, Xiaoting..." Seeing that she didn't respond, he went out in peace. Regarding the depth of Zhang Zhen's love with that woman, I didn't hear it from the words, but I heard him whispering: "She doesn't have much time left. During this time, I want to spend time with her." Shen Xiaoting's heart kept falling and falling, as if seeing herself slipping into a bottomless abyss, but there was no straw around her. No wonder, before and after the operation, he refused to talk about his illness. Shen Xiaoting's burning heart, struggling for love, went to ashes, and it turned out that what she had was not gallstones. On the first day after being discharged from the hospital, Shen Xiaoting asked Zhang Zhen: "Since I came all the way to find you, you should know that I am strong. Tell me the truth. What kind of disease do I have?" Zhang Zhen said lightly, "Gallstones." Although his tone was relaxed, Shen Xiaoting could still see that it was pretending to be relaxed. Shen Xiaoting smiled, knowing that if she asked him or the doctor, she would not get a clear answer. book, and compare your physical symptoms. When Zhang Zhen saw it, he quarreled: "You are a good person, why do you suspect that you have a terminal illness?" Shen Xiaoting remained silent, and became more and more sad. After a long time, Zhang Zhen refused to say anything, and directly took her to see a psychiatrist. When the doctor said that she was suffering from depression, Shen Xiaoting smiled bitterly. Presumably, Zhang Zhen had already After making an appointment, he deceived himself, a dying person, with kind lies, and refused psychotherapy. Zhang Zhen was not discouraged, and often brought back some tapes of psychotherapy and played them to her. Bei Ke recalled that Shen Xiaoting's first words when she entered the door were: "A woman, when she tried to save her sick love, suddenly found that her body was also suffering from an incurable disease. , what's the point of being saved?" Beck once comforted her: "Have you confirmed it to the doctor, maybe it's just your own paranoia." Shen Xiaoting smiled bleakly: "What else do I need to prove? After returning from the hospital, one of his cupboards was locked, and he would open it while I was away. It is a book about cancer symptoms and treatment. He often asks me in a persuasive way, what is my wish? If I say it, the wish will become a reality the next day. The kindness of the deceased, how could I be so stupid that I don’t even know this?” When Bei Ke talked about this, Jiang Zhong's brows gradually furrowed: "But, she really only has gallstones." Bei Ke suddenly asked: "Shen Xiaoting's death, have you filed a case for investigation?" "No, witnesses at the scene can fully prove that she committed suicide." "Intuition tells me that Shen Xiaoting died willingly in an active and cooperative murder." "why?" "The look in her eyes when she left the clinic seemed to know everything in her heart. At that time, I really thought she had a terminal illness. If so, there was nothing I could do." The next day, Jiang Zhong told Bei Ke that Shen Xiaoting's The death was filed for investigation, and they went to Zhang Zhen's house. There was no anxiety and panic in his eyes after the murder of other suspects. The stalemate in the case made Jiang Zhong a little unhappy. He complained half-jokingly to Bei Ke and said, "You psychiatrists are just paranoid. You see, you have made me file a case by tinkering. Now it's embarrassing." Bei Ke wept aggrievedly, the date broke up unhappy, Jiang Zhong called after him to apologize, and he didn't bother to respond. After returning home, he dialed the number Shen Xiaoting left, and heard a drunken male voice over there say: "Didn't I tell you not to call me again?" Bei Ke froze for a moment and didn't speak. For a person who was terrified, silent fear was far greater than silence, so he held the receiver silently and said nothing, only when the other party was about to put on the phone, he whispered: " You killed Shen Xiaoting." A long, long gasp came from the end of the microphone. Bei Ke sneered lightly and said, "I'm afraid what you told Shen Xiaoting wasn't a cure for her depression, but a hint of death." Then, Bei Ke heard the sound of the microphone falling to the ground, and quickly called Jiang Zhong. When Jiang Zhong led people to rush over, Shen Xiaoting's house was already empty, the computer was in screen saver mode, and the unplugged microphone was wandering lonely on the floor, Bei Ke moved the mouse, and the screen displayed an e-mail. There is no mail, it is a diary, written in the draft folder, and the owner of the diary is Shen Xiaoting. ... September 10 Zhang Zhen took me to see a psychiatrist, he said that I was not terminally ill, but depressed, but he didn't know, I heard his voice. September 12 I went to the bookstore and bought a bunch of books about cancer. My symptoms were indeed similar to cancer. I cried. I tried to save my love with Zhang Zhen, just like it was back then. But, for a dying man like me What's the point of saving love? September 13 Because I refused psychotherapy, Zhang Zhen brought me back some tapes with weird melodies and told me that listening to them could cure my depression. I listened, but why did the more I listened, the more hopeless I became?Every time I listen to them, I no longer fear death, and even feel that death is a beautiful and easy thing. September 20 Now, I am poisoned, and I have to listen to the tape brought back by Zhang Zhen every day. When I listen to it, my heart will be filled with death-like serenity. Without these music, my heart will fall into mania. I am worried that there will always be One day, I will choose death in this serene music. ... September 30 Although listening to psychotherapy tapes will give me peace for a while, I am still afraid of them. I began to doubt their role. I took two of them and went to see a psychiatrist. The doctor listened to the tapes and asked, who gave me of.I said it, he was silent for a long time, and said: "Don't listen to them again in the future." When I left, he chased me out and said, "If possible, would you like to get a divorce?" I said no.He asked why? I said, "I'd rather die than leave." He said, "So he played you these tapes." October 8 I never listened to those tapes anymore. I went to the hospital alone for a physical examination. Sure enough, what I got was just gallstones. I sat in the corridor of the hospital with enough medical records to prove my health, cried, and suddenly understood Zhang Zhen, who is very careful, why would he call me in the hallway when I was hospitalized, and why would he call my name to see if I was asleep before going out to make a phone call? It turned out that this was all intentional, he knew I was sleeping Be alert, even if I fall asleep, I will wake up dimly when I am called by him. His words in the corridor are intentional. He said them to me, making me think that I am really terminally ill. He wants to use this The method made me lose my desire for life first, and then used my doubts to say that I was suffering from depression, and then listened to tapes that implied death... October 12 Every day when I come back, Zhang Zhen is still asking me if I have listened to the tape, and repeatedly said that it is good to listen to it before going to bed. I am tough and confident, otherwise, 8 years ago, I would not have come chasing him all the way. Whenever he persuaded me to listen to the tape, I would look at him intently, keeping his face away. I would hug him from behind and say, "I love you forever." He said I love you too. However, in the middle of the night, I often wake up crying, this man I love, already wished I could die, he was woken up by my crying, and hugged me hypocritically, he thought that my heart was in the hint of the tape , struggling on the edge of life and death. October 15 The psychological suggestion tape did not show results for a long time, and Zhang Zhen had lost his patience. From time to time, I could see a flash of coldness in his eyes.This evening, he said: "I'm on vacation next month, let's go hang gliding together." I said yes, then looked at him and asked: Is it that kind of couple glider?He said of course. I just laughed: "I'm afraid, if I accidentally fall down, will I die?" His face froze all of a sudden, and he quickly covered my mouth: "No crow's mouth is allowed." My face is smiling, and my heart is crying. I know that Zhang Zhen can't wait. Only when someone hits the secret person in his heart, his face will freeze like a cold. Next month, when the glider flies to the highest point, Zhang Zhen will scream loudly, but he will helplessly watch me drifting down, this is the fate he designed for me. October 18 Love is my life, but love is gone, so Zhang Zhen suppressed my desire for life little by little, and before I was about to die, I wanted to do something for Zhang Zhen so that he would cherish him for the rest of his life, so I still Let him think he was successful, and his plot was not seen through by me, so I went to visit the psychiatrist named Beck and told her my real name and address, so that she could commit suicide for me As an indirect witness, Zhang Zhen will never know that I love him so much that I don't want him to take any responsibility for my death. I don't want him to become a murderer because he doesn't love me. Zhang Zhen, I love you so much, if my death is your wish, what choice do I have? All of this will become a secret lost in the Internet along with my death... Shen Xiaoting didn't know that Zhang Zhen always believed that those tapes directly caused her death. When he went online to vent his mixed feelings of guilt and joy, he accidentally saw her mailbox and guessed the password by mistake... Bei Ke watched with tears streaming down her face. Eight years ago, Shen Xiaoting fearlessly sat at the railway crossing and begged for love from the man she loved. Eight years later, in the autumn, she was still sitting at the railway crossing, fulfilling her broken heart. The love of those she loves. The next morning, Jiang Zhong found Zhang Zhen. At the railway crossing where Shen Xiaoting committed suicide, the passing train turned his head into a cloud of flying pink powder. No one knew his expression before he died, but he was pale and Cold hands clasped together on the chest, inside is a photo, Shen Xiaoting under the cherry blossom tree smiling brightly like cherry blossoms. Jiang Zhong muttered to himself, "Is Shen Xiaoting a murder?" Bei Ke looked at him, unable to answer, yes, sharp weapons may not be the only ones who can kill. In this world, some people are destined to be killed by love, just because they regard love as their fate, such as Shen Xiaoting. Bei Ke said: "Jiang Zhong, can you stop being a criminal police officer?" Jiang Zhong asked inexplicably, "Why?" "Don't you think that being in contact with death and crime all day will make people doubt the truth and beauty of human nature?" Jiang Zhong shrugged, and answered irrelevantly: "Next month, let's go on a trip and relax, okay?" Bei Ke nodded, but before next month, Jiang Zhong was involved in a new case. A well-known private owner in this city was murdered strangely. His wife and the insurance company came together Later, he came to report the case, because the deceased had purchased a large amount of personal insurance for himself during his lifetime, and was suspected of defrauding the insurance money. The suspicion was directed at the deceased's wife... The fact is that the deceased himself deliberately set himself on fire...