Chapter 35 Chapter Thirty-Five

The cold wind kept blowing from the distant desert, passed over the village, passed over the city, and went from the top of the city to the plateau.The Maozang Plateau has completely changed in winter. The grass has turned yellow, the mountains have dried up, and the cattle and sheep have entered the enclosure feebly. Less than the spectacular river vibe of the river.The snow mountain in the distance is quiet, probably it likes the cold and harshness of winter, as long as winter comes, its coldness and majesty will be restored immediately. The prayer flags on the mani pile have been blown away by the wind, and the wind is a bit strong this winter.

Deng Chaolu lived on the mountain for a while, and his vitality has almost recovered. This is thanks to Luoba and Song Jiayi. If it weren't for them, Deng Chaolu would not be able to get out of these days, and would be drowned by life.That day she said to Song Jiayi: "Come down the mountain with me, I'm going to have a look at that yard." "Have you figured it out?" Song Jiayi said with a smile. "It doesn't make sense, I just need to get out of the past. Jiayi, thank you." Deng Chaolu smiled lightly on her face, which had recovered from anger. The winter sun hit her body, making her thin The body is more peaceful.

"Thank you, do you want to give me a piece of love?" Song Jiayi said, looking into the distance, on the other side of the river, Qin Yu stood alone under the sun, his back blended into the same color as the mountain . Qin Yu came to the mountain two days ago, and he didn't talk to anyone after he came.Song Jiayi quietly told Deng Chaolu that Qin Yu went down the mountain because of a divorce, and this time it was not his mother who made the decision, but him. "Okay, this kid, I can finally be my own master." Song Jiayi's face was full of affirmation, but she soon said, "From the way he came back, the marriage is not divorced, Wu Ruohan insisted Him." One sentence made Deng Chaolu's heart fall to the bottom of the valley again.Strange, when did I worry about Qin Yu's marriage?Didn't she always believe in the philosophy of "rather demolishing ten temples than ruining a marriage"?

"You have to make up your mind quickly, or he will be entangled to death." Song Jiayi said again.After burying Deng Jiaying and forcibly taking Deng Chaolu from the reservoir to the mountain, Song Jiayi only did one thing all day, forcing Deng Chaolu to express his opinion. "What are you waiting for, everything is clear now, and the property should be returned to the original owner." "What does it mean to return things to their original owners?" Deng Chaolu glanced at her, and Song Jiayi stuck out her tongue: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's not things, but people. It's okay to say so." He wanted Deng Chaolu to say something affirmative, so that she could go to Qin Yu's side to announce the good news, but Deng Chaolu just didn't say a word, and she could talk about other topics, except this one.Song Jiayi was in a hurry.

This time Song Jiayi urged Deng Chaolu again, pointing to the other side of the river from time to time: "Look, how pitiful, you don't love your mother, don't be cruel, go, call him here." "No!" Deng Chaolu said stubbornly. "I really don't want to go, then I can go, and then don't blame me for taking people's love." "How dare you!" Deng Chaolu blushed after finishing speaking. Love is resurrected in this season.It is also strange to say, how can love be born in this season, the sky is so cold, the ground is so cold, and she has just experienced the pain of losing her mother, and the great sorrow is still weighing on her. How can love, a delicate flower, bloom?

But it really blooms, in the cold winter, at an altitude of 4,400 meters. Deng Chaolu's heart felt warm for a while, the whizzing cold wind suddenly turned into a warm wind, and the sun was much hotter than before. She moved to a higher place and stared at the other side of the river. There is no heart that does not yearn for love. Human yearning for love is so strong and unstoppable.The mother is, the father is, the teacher is, and the teacher's wife is also. Oh, for the first time, Deng Chaolu called out her father in her heart. yes father.Deng Chaolu knew that it was time for her to go down the mountain, to a strange yet extremely friendly place, which had been waiting for her for more than 20 years, and she had been looking forward to her for more than 20 years. She could not let those tearful eyes wait for her. She had to use her background and a smiling face to fill that empty gaze.

"Let's go." She told Song Jiayi. "Let's go." Song Jiayi told Luoba. "Let's go." Luoba said to Qin Yu again. So the four of them walked together and headed towards Gushui City at the foot of the mountain. The small courtyard located in the shantytown next to Xihaizang Temple in Gushui City welcomed a new guest on this day.Deng Chaolu found this small courtyard according to Song Jiayi's description.Song Jiayi hasn't been here long, but she knows a lot about the river basin.Song Jiayi originally came to take refuge in the river basin to avoid spiritual difficulties, but now she saves someone else.Thinking about these, Deng Chaolu felt the gap in himself.Song Jiayi scolded her rightly: "You, I never thought there would be such a stupid person in the world. You were completely harmed by your mentor, who domesticated you into an academic lion, no, an academic bug. Except for your academics, I don't know anything about life."

"Why do I need to understand life?" Deng Chaolu was still not convinced at the time, and talked back to Song Jiayi. "People belong to life, not just to academics. Besides, people who don't understand life will never be able to do academics, because academics are inseparable from life." Song Jiayi began to preach.Seeing that she was stunned for a while, she simply pointed out: "Do you know why I came to the river basin?" Deng Chaolu said that she knew that she was in trouble and needed to be rescued.He also told some jokes about Song Jiayi when he came to see her. She was so rich, so successful, but confused, which made her very puzzled.Song Jiayi shook her head: "It's not just confusion. People have gods in their hearts. Everyone has them. Some people are crazy about money, and money is their god. Some people are crazy about power, and power is their god. Some people are obsessed with money. Ideals, but ideals alone cannot become gods." Deng Chaolu was surprised and asked why?Song Jiayi said: "At first I also thought that ideals could become gods, but later I found out that I was wrong. Gods are for you to worship, and ideals are forcibly realized. For example, those devout worshipers on the plateau have gods, but Their purpose is to worship the gods, to express their devotion to the gods, not to become gods. Understand?"

Deng Chaolu still didn't understand.Song Jiayi had no choice but to return to herself: "At the beginning I was confused. I was rich, and I was successful in the eyes of others, but I was very empty and had no sense of accomplishment. On the contrary, I felt that money was disgusting, and I lived for money. It's even more disgusting. But I couldn't find the direction to break through, and I couldn't find a way to save myself. So I came to you. The grassland took me in, and the watershed took me in. Let me tell you now, I'm looking for that god , When I lost my God, I became dazed, confused, and my life became meaningless. Now that I have found God, I know the reason for my life.”

"Live for God?" "Yes, to live for God, everyone should have respect for God in their hearts. God is not an ideal, not a career. God is faith. You know, we have lost our faith, so we are not happy." "What about my god?" Deng Chaolu looked at Song Jiayi in a daze, but Song Jiayi chuckled and said, "You don't need a god now, you need love." Then they talked about love again, and the topic quickly returned to Qin Yu.Song Jiayi herself admitted that she was a bit obsessive-compulsive and always wanted to bring them together. "Don't blame me, I always feel that God gave birth to you and him to let you fall in love and get married. Now that the lost path is over, you should all return to the right path and get married."

"But..." Deng Chaolu was in trouble again. "No need, but it was originally yours, and I will be responsible for snatching him over." "No, it will take time." Deng Chaolu reluctantly agreed. In fact, she was forced to say this step by step by her own heart. Her mother was right. Every woman can't escape her heart. What is planted in her heart? , is what it is. Song Jiayi told Deng Chaolu about this small courtyard.After burying her mother, Chuya refused to let Deng Chaolu go and wanted to keep her by her side, but Song Jiayi refused and pulled her back to the mountain without hesitation.On a night when the cold wind stopped and the land was quiet, Song Jiayi took Deng Chaolu and sat by the Zamu River, the place where Lu Bo and Yu Gantou used to sit, and told Deng Chaolu about the small courtyard. , and the sad stories carried by the small courtyard.Deng Chaolu was so surprised that she didn't even ask Song Jiayi why she knew this, but she didn't know anything. "There is no one as stupid as you in the world, how can you say that you let your mentor lead you into a bad and stupid way. When you were alive, he wanted to tell you so much, but you are too stupid. Every time you approach the truth, you don't ask again, so he has no choice but to tell you." Keep everything in your heart. Of course, if he does this, it's also..." Song Jiayi suddenly stopped talking, raised her head, and stared into the distance.In the distance are black mountains, black sky, and black rivers. After a long time, Song Jiayi said: "He is a great father. I am afraid that there is no father in the world who can do this. He is for you. He would rather hide his thoughts and father's love in his heart than break your life. A peaceful day for you mother and daughter." Oh my god, at that moment Deng Chaolu suddenly had difficulty breathing, and his chest was pressed down by a mountain.It turned out that he knew a long time ago, he never said it all his life, and kept it in his heart all his life, because of this! tears! Standing in front of the small courtyard, Deng Chaolu was full of emotions. All things and people, those who had met and those who had not met, rushed towards her, her legs were shaking, and her heart was in a mess and wet. , raised and lowered her hand several times, she really didn't have the energy to knock on this door.Song Jiayi who was standing aside was a little anxious, she was afraid that Deng Chaolu's arms would be sore and his heart would be sore.This woman whose passion has been ignited by the river basin will always have a more positive attitude towards life than Deng Chaolu.Solve the problem when you encounter a problem, don't get stuck in the dead end.This is a sentence on her lips, and it is also her true attitude towards life.People can't be trapped by anything. If you are stuck, you can't move forward. You have to find a way to kick the rope off your feet.This is what she warned Deng Chaolu, and it is also the reason why she was able to break out of the predicament. Qin Yu on the side didn't say anything, but looked at Deng Chaolu worriedly and anxiously.To be honest, Qin Yu has not come out of the mist until now, half of what happened in this season is real and sober to him, and half is still vague.His ability to adapt to reality is really worse than that of Deng Chaolu.Otherwise, why would Song Jiayi scold him: "You two babies, I'm convinced. Even if someone else repairs the bridge to the gate for you, I'm worried that you won't be able to get on the bridge." Yes, he just can't get on the bridge now.The marriage with Wu Ruohan, Qin Yu is determined to end, it is a wrong subject, and should not be continued.But Qin Yu believes that these have nothing to do with Deng Chaolu, it is his own business, he wants to get out of a chaotic life, return to freshness, and return to his original state.For Deng Chaolu in front of him, Qin Yu didn't have time to think about it, including what Song Jiayi and his mother Chu Ya told him, whether it was the truth or the truth, he didn't dare to touch it.That is a river, so mighty and turbulent, Qin Yu is afraid even thinking about it.It is not difficult for Qin Yu to solve a natural mystery or break through an academic subject, but he is afraid to face such a deep well of life.He hated himself, but he couldn't help himself.At this time, standing in front of the small courtyard with Deng Chaolu, Qin Yu had no other thoughts except to worry about Deng Chaolu.He once objected to Song Jiayi and Luoba, preventing them from taking Deng Chaolu to meet anyone.The more you see, the more you hurt, this is his point of view.Song Jiayi scolded him for shrinking his head and being a coward. He didn't dare to face such a thing, so what great things could he accomplish?Qin Yu didn't want to achieve great things. From his parents and Lu Bo, Qin Yu saw that he lacked a kind of hardness and tenacity in life. Not everyone can survive the disaster, and not every piece of ore can be smelted into steel.Song Jiayi scolded him for shrinking his head, saying that he was afraid of anything.It's not that I'm afraid, it's really not, Qin Yu has thought through this point very well.What are you afraid of? Life will never be less because you are afraid.He wasn't ready-- He gave Deng Chaolu a sad look, and at this moment he realized that he was no match for Deng Chaolu.If this series of changes had happened to him, he would have been defeated long ago. Song Jiayi urged again, knock, what are you afraid of?Qin Yu glared at Song Jiayi with dissatisfaction, and stood forward, as if he wanted to protect Deng Chaolu with his body.Song Jiayi glanced back at him, leaned over, and forced him back again. "What are you doing, let her think about it." Qin Yu said. "What are you thinking about, what bothers you the most, Xiaolu, knock!" Song Jiayi bewitched again. Loba stood beside him nervously, not speaking. This young man who was running on the grassland was still a little scared when he entered the city.Besides, he was not used to the smell of the city. There was no smell of grass, cow dung, or anything, but there was a stinky smell of gasoline that made him afraid to breathe. Deng Chaolu calmed down for a while. During the quarrel between Song Jiayi and Qin Yu, she finally raised her hand and knocked on the heavy door. With a creak, the door opened, and as usual, half a head poked out from inside, it was the old woman's head.Instinctively, Deng Chaolu shrank back, her eyes were like ears of wheat swaying in the wind, trembling so badly that they couldn't reach the old woman's face at all. "You knocked on the wrong door. There's no one you're looking for here." The old woman glanced at the faces of several people with her muddy eyes, and then took them back numbly. She was about to close the door, Song Jiayi was in a hurry: "Wait a minute." Wait, we're here to see you." "See me?" The old woman replied without surprise, turned around, and walked inside. "Fast forward!" Seeing that the door was not closed, Song Jiayi was excited.Song Jiayi is different from Deng Chaolu and the others. She can find something exciting at any time, "Come on, the old lady is very weird. If she locks the door, she can't knock on it again." Deng Chaolu took a trembling step inward, his feet went in, but the panic and uneasiness remained outside. "Close the door. The water is in that room. Drink it yourself. Don't talk about buying a house with me. This house is not for sale." The old woman entered the house wearily. A very strong waist, and a pair of legs troubled by rheumatism. Several people stood in the yard, not daring to move.The cleanliness of the yard was beyond their imagination, and there was an illusion of being free from dust.The dead branches are piled up on the grape trellis, but the scene when the grapes are flourishing is still there.The small courtyard paved with green bricks contained a strange atmosphere.Deng Chaolu became more and more flustered, the old lady didn't come out, and she didn't say a word to them. Deng Chaolu tightly grasped Song Jiayi's arm with both hands, and her palms were full of sweat.Song Jiayi cheered her up with his eyes, and at the same time motioned for Qin Yu to go in and say hello to the old lady.Qin Yu didn't dare, he kept shrinking back, as if what they were visiting was not an old lady, but a god. After standing like this for a while, a voice finally came from the room: "Come in, everyone, let me have a look." A few pairs of feet walked in timidly, and their eyes immediately tightened.In the courtyard just now, the old woman was obviously dressed casually, inside was the clothes she usually wears at home, to avoid the cold, and outside she wore an outdated cotton padded coat.This time, the old woman changed. She was actually wearing a brocade cheongsam. The color was that dark red color, which was deep and full of the breath of time. The neckline was raised high, covering half of her face. .Outside the cheongsam, Song Jiayi and the others wore a coat that they had never seen before, and it felt like they were brought back to the Republic of China.The old woman sat upright on a wooden chair, her eyes burning.I don't know if it's because of my body or to maintain a certain majesty, I actually held a cane in my hand. The old woman's attire really surprised the four young people. It turned out that the old woman hadn't spoken for a long time and was changing her clothes.Song Jiayi was so surprised that they had to change their outfits too. This old lady is really interesting. How did Song Jiayi know that the old lady Bai Ni had a premonition, and she spent her whole life waiting to prove one thing, her family's Xiaolu didn't die young, she wasn't lost, and she was still alive.The old lady is dying, her daughter is long gone, and her son-in-law Lu Bo is gone. If she can still do it, wouldn't she become a monster?But the old woman firmly believed that when she closed her eyes, she would definitely see Xiaolu, and God would not let her wait in vain.On this day, the old woman suddenly felt that her waiting time had come. How could she dress casually to meet the granddaughter she had been waiting for for more than 20 years? No! "Come here, come closer, let me see, I have bad eyesight, I can't see clearly." The old woman opened her mouth. A few people stood there, not daring to move.The old woman said again, Song Jiayi bumped Deng Chaolu with her elbow and asked her to go.Deng Chaolu looked at the old woman in a daze, and didn't feel Song Jiayi's small movements at all.Song Jiayi had no choice but to bite the bullet and take a few steps forward, standing in front of the old woman.The old woman stared at her for a while, then shook her head and said, "It's not you." Song Jiayi was startled, and as if she understood something, she came over and grabbed Deng Chaolu, and pushed her in front of the old woman. The light in the room is a little dark. The bungalows in this small courtyard are very dilapidated, basically built in the 1980s, and although they have been repaired later, they are still incomparable with the buildings outside.The windows are small, so there is naturally less light coming in. Coupled with today's special atmosphere, it makes people feel like walking into a cave. "Go a little further." The old woman looked greedily at Deng Chaolu, sparks of excitement jumped out of her eyes. Deng Chaolu obediently took a small step forward, almost touching the old woman.Qin Yu and Luoba didn't know what the old woman was going to do, so they were very curious.Song Jiayi's heart was pounding, she was already looking forward to something. "Closer." The old woman said again, her stiff body was already moving, the crutch in her hand was thrown away suddenly, and her hands were eager to touch Deng Chaolu's face. But dare not! "You are..." The trembling lips of the old woman finally opened. Halfway through speaking, her body jumped up, staggering, hesitating, wanting to pounce but not daring to pounce. Deng Chaolu hastily leaned over and put his face on the old woman.As soon as the old woman's calloused hands touched Deng Chaolu's face, she immediately felt as if she was being burned, and her voice became much louder. "You are Lu, Xiaolu, you are my Xiaolu, Xiaolu, you are finally back, and finally came to see grandma...God, I, Bai Ni, did not wait in vain, I finally waited. Xueyi, Xueyi Did you hear, Lu is back, she's back, she's in my arms..." The old woman lost her composure completely, she kept screaming like a dream, and the movements of her hands were constantly changing, she wanted to hold Deng Chaolu's face at one moment, and at the other wanted to greedily pull her into her arms, just as she was pulled into her arms, Pushing it away violently, pushing it a step away, straightening his eyes to look. Looked at it, and called out again. Song Jiayi fell to the ground with a tense heart, and her body also relaxed.Alas, she sighed, turned and walked outside. Not long after, Qin Yu and Luoba also came out.Only the old woman and Deng Chaolu were left in the room. The old woman's voice was high and low, one startled after another. After a while, Song Jiayi heard that Deng Chaolu also burst into tears. Whether there are gods or not in this world, no one can tell.Song Jiayi thinks there is, otherwise, the old woman is so old and her eyes are still dim, how could she recognize Deng Chaolu in such a dark room?Think about it, she has only met Deng Chaolu once in her life, and Deng Chaolu was still a baby at that time.Qin Yu couldn't figure it out even more clearly. Such a question was far more difficult for him than a subject, so he could only look at Song Jiayi eagerly.On the contrary, Luoba looked calm, and said: "The blood of relatives is interlinked. You don't need to look, but you can smell it with your nose." Seeing Song Jiayi's doubts, he said with a smile: "The cows and sheep on the grassland gave birth to lambs, you take the lambs away. , it can follow the smell to your house. Even if you haven’t seen it for a few years, you can still smell which one is its cub.” "People say Xiao Lu, how dare you compare yourself to a sheep." "A person is a sheep, and a sheep is a person, but sometimes a person is not as good as a sheep." Naropa suddenly dropped this sentence. In any case, Deng Chaolu found his grandmother, the old woman Bai Ni who had been waiting for nearly half a century, finally got her heart back. This day the old lady cooks herself, insisting on cooking delicious food for them, saying that she has to make up for the meal anyway.Deng Chaolu wanted to help, but the old woman darkened her face and pretended to be angry: "You child, I have prepared this meal for decades, so please fulfill me once and bring your friends to play." Deng Chaolu walked out of the kitchen in a daze, looked around the courtyard a few times, but couldn't find a place to rest, so she had to walk over and drag Song Jiayi to another room. Song Jiayi was shocked again.There are some photos in this room, arranged according to age.It can be seen that the old woman is a caring person, and she has put all the times she has experienced here.It's just a pity that there are too few photos, otherwise, Song Jiayi must have gained a lot of knowledge. Later, I thought that I was greedy. In those days, it was really not easy to keep these few photos. Finally they stopped in front of three photos.One was seen by Deng Chaolu before, the one seen at Lu Bo's bedside, and the other was a family portrait, with the old woman in the middle, and Lu Bo and the woman who was as vague as a poem and as illusory as a dream stood on both sides.The old woman was wearing exactly the cheongsam she was wearing today. There is another one, a child less than one year old, sitting on the bed, holding a calico doll in his hand, with a pacifier in his mouth, very cute. Song Jiayi's heart moved, she turned around, and looked at Deng Chaolu seriously. "Like, really like, no wonder she can recognize it at a glance. If it were me, I would definitely recognize it." Deng Chaolu's eyes were dazed, as if he was fascinated by that child.She still can't seem to believe that it's her, the other Deng Chaolu.Even though the old woman had told her everything in tears, she still couldn't believe it.She felt that everything was too vague and outrageous, how could she become her grandson.How did this old woman named Bai Ni get involved with herself?Later she thought of Lu Bo, sorry, she still can't say "Dad" now, she still thinks that Uncle Lu is kind, and then Lu Bo thought of the woman who had never met, the woman who was like a poem, and the woman who was like a painting I heard that she has a good voice, she can sing so that the mountains are drunk, the water of a river stops, the birds thousands of miles away come to cheer for her, and the people of a county town leave their jobs. cheer her on.Of course, it can also be sung so that the rich and powerful will be tempted, which will lead to chaos. Her name is Cheng Xueyi.They all said that this legendary woman was her mother. But she stubbornly believes that in this world, only Deng Jiaying is her mother. Deng Chao burst into tears. At this time, she thought of her mother again, the bumpy and difficult years that her mother brought her to grow up in Longfengxia Reservoir, her mother who never bent her waist, and never stopped. Down those legs.Later, she stared at the cotton-padded quilt that wrapped the little girl in the photo, and the door of memory opened with a bang. She had seen that quilt with floral patterns and red face many times in her mother's cabinet.I remember she once asked her mother why she was hiding her like a baby?My mother was a little panicked at the time, and only said that she had covered it when she was young, and she was reluctant to throw it away.When she started working, she never saw the little quilt again. Deng Chaolu stretched out his hand, trembling, and stroked the photo.