Chapter 33 Chapter Thirty-Three

Miao Yulan's wishful thinking was wrong. She underestimated Chuya, Miao Yulan had thought of everything, and planned everything step by step, but she didn't think through Chuya, figured it out.As a result, Chuya messed up the situation. This woman changed as she said, without any sign, without any reason, without any sign, and without any room for maneuver.Miao Yulan sighed, she was insane. That night, the old Wangtou from the warehouse management office tidied up Miao Yulan's room, cleaned it up, and Miao Yulan lived in it with peace of mind.After running for a day, she was tired, so she washed up, didn't think about anything, and went to sleep.I didn't think about it, I had a problem sleeping.

Late at night, there was a noise in the courtyard, and after a burst of hurried footsteps, Chu Ya pulled Deng Chaolu out.For this trip, Chuya was definitely not on a whim, let alone a whim.Chu Ya had thought about this issue before she came to the reservoir, but she hesitated at that time, feeling very conflicted.On the one hand, he wanted to tell Deng Chaolu the truth, which had ruined her for half her life, and later brought disaster to her son Qin Yu.If she had known earlier, her life would not have been like this, she would not have hated Deng Jiaying for no reason, and she would not have used a lifetime of "abuse" and "arrogance" to avenge her husband.Thinking of it this way, Chu Ya was extremely sad. She was a person who was hurt by lies and suspicion, and she was also a person who was deceived by illusions for most of her life.Therefore, I want to tell Deng Chaolu the truth in a hurry, so that she can jump out of the illusion.On the other hand, they are afraid that if the truth gets out, it will destroy them.They refer to Deng Jiaying, the woman she has hated all her life.And Deng Chaolu, she was supposed to love like a mother, but ended up hurting her childhood, youth and now with a deformed knife.Chu Ya was afraid that if she was reckless, she would hurt them again.After arriving at Kushang, Chu Ya first contacted Deng Jiaying's mother and daughter with anxiety. Several times, she threw the topic over, consciously trying to test the mother and daughter, but found that the situation was not as serious as she thought.On Deng Jiaying's side, she was still a little terrified, afraid of losing something, but on Deng Chaolu's side, she didn't mind.One day she deliberately talked about her life experience with Deng Chaolu, using the background of others.Deng Chaolu was very calm when she heard it, and she didn't seem to be touched or disturbed at all. Instead, she said in a questioning tone: "Do you think it's interesting to pester these things? Life moves forward, so I won't worry about these things. A No matter where a person comes from or what the past is like, that is his history. People can’t always dwell on the past, past misfortunes and disasters are all prepared for today, I just want to be happy today, and I will be happier tomorrow than today.” She The face is really full of happiness.

Chu Ya asked incredulously, "Lu, are you happy?" "Happy." Deng Chaolu tossed her hair generously, raised her face, and said happily, "I'm afraid there is no one in the world happier than me. I have everything I should have. What more can I ask for?" For a moment, Chuya was really shocked, she saw a sunny face, Deng Chaolu was surrounded and soaked in happiness, every cell was emitting a sweet smile.It turns out that happy people are like this, Miao Yulan probably never had such a moment in her life. From then on, Chuya firmly believed that Deng Chaolu had a strong heart, and nothing would break her down.

Chu Ya changed her mind and decided not to tell the secret. She can't destroy the child's happiness! But Miao Yulan came.When Miao Yulan arrived, the situation changed rapidly.She will say it, she will.From the moment she saw Miao Yulan, Chu Ya's heart began to tighten, and she was terrified to death.She walked slowly on the embankment, not in a hurry to enter the courtyard, but was thinking whether to stop Miao Yulan, and how to stop it.When they got to the courtyard and saw Miao Yulan and Qin Jizhou arguing openly in the courtyard, Chuya knew that disaster was coming. That mouth can't be sealed, maybe this time, she just wants to upset everything, including the secrets that have been sealed by the years.Chuya clearly felt Miao Yulan's hostility. This hostility was not only related to the current situation of Miao Yulan and his wife, but also related to her family, Qin Yu.Chuya was not afraid. This night, Chuya was much calmer than usual. She called Deng Chaolu into the room, first said something insignificant, and then said, I will take you to a place tonight to meet someone.Deng Chaolu was puzzled, and asked: "Who are you seeing, why is it at night?" Chu Ya said very mysteriously, seeing him must be at night, and none of us can see him during the day!

Deng Chaolu already knew that some changes were about to take place in her life.In fact, her life has been changing recently, and she is suffering, thinking, and maturing in the changes.Now Deng Chaolu is no longer afraid of these changes.Let all who should come come, life is like water, it will ferry all kinds of boats.Deng Chaolu is not pessimistic, nor is she desperate, because she finally understands a truth in the pain again and again, life is actually a process of crossing, you go through different things at different stages.Whether it is suffering or sadness, it has only one purpose, to ferry you in turn, to ferry you to the sunshine, to a place where the road is wide.Deng Chaolu used to be very entangled in some things, such as life experience, such as love, such as career, and such as watershed.At this stage, Deng Chaolu was really not entangled in these things, especially Lu Bo's death, as if she had crossed a long distance in one fell swoop.Looking at her current self from a distance, Deng Chaolu discovered that those so-called wounds on her body were actually caused by others.Sometimes the world is very chaotic, and it will put some things on you that should not be borne by you, making you tired and painful, and also making your views on the world mixed and full of doubts.It is better to travel lightly, there is no need to let the old past hold you back.Some things and some people, if you linger on them for too long, they will possess you like a shadow, making you no longer your pure self, and either becoming the incarnation of others, or the storage of other people's emotions.Deng Chaolu is young, and she hopes that her steps will be clearer, her walking strength will be greater, and her speed will be faster. If she wants to do this, she must let go of a lot.She suddenly remembered what her friend Song Jiayi had said to her after Song Jiayi came back from Tibet.We are not blocked by others. If we really want to move forward, we can't stop it. The fact is that we are always held back by ourselves, by our chaotic thoughts, and by the past that we can't bear to discard in our hearts.We are always entangled in what was wrong in the past, but we refuse to think about where we should go tomorrow.

Chuya took Deng Chaolu to Lu Bo's grave.If someone had to tear through a certain shady scene, Chu Ya decided to do it first.Or between her and Miao Yulan, one of them is destined to go to hell first, and this person must be herself! When Chuya spoke, Deng Chaolu seemed very calm, the night was very dark, covering Deng Chaolu's face, Chuya couldn't see her expression, and of course, couldn't see her own expression either.When she first started speaking, Chu Ya was still a little scared, and even a little bit powerless, for fear that her tongue would suddenly become soft and she would not be able to continue speaking.While talking, Chu Ya was fascinated by the story, and fell into a maze involuntarily. Inside was not only darkness, but also seductive love and sadness that made her heart tremble.She is more like a drowning person who fell into a deep pool, and the process of telling her is also the process of her self-salvation. It took her nearly two hours to finish retelling the story Lu Bo told her that night at the Zamu River water pipe, and then He took a long breath, raised his head as if relieved, and said to Deng Chaolu, "I wanted to take it to the grave, but I couldn't, I really couldn't."

Deng Chaolu was unmoved, like a clay sculpture, she hadn't moved from the moment she stood on the grave.While Chu Ya was speaking, she felt that her blood was coagulated, her pulse was not beating, and her body was stiff, like a dead tree stuck there.Chu Ya called her several times, but she froze there as if she didn't hear her.Chu Ya was suddenly a little scared, very scared, and took two steps forward, wanting to reach out and hug her.Or give her chest to let her have something to rely on.Deng Chaolu suddenly woke up from the dead body, pushed Chu Ya away, and rushed towards Lu Bo's tomb like crazy.

There was a piercing sound in the dark night. Chu Ya's heart was torn apart by that sound, and the blood flowed silently. In the dark night, Chuya saw that Deng Chaolu threw herself on the grave, her whole face was pressed against the grave, and her chest was even more firmly attached.Both hands drilled into the soil like a drilling machine, and they were still not reconciled, and they wanted to drill the whole person into it.She didn't cry, there was a whining sound in her chest, but her mouth was biting tightly.She climbed for about twenty minutes, then got up abruptly and ran towards the embankment.

Chu Ya saw that Deng Chaolu's bleeding hands were tightly clenched, and she grabbed two handfuls of soil from Lu Bo's grave. The next day, when Miao Yulan woke up, the courtyard had already exploded.Deng Chaolu left overnight without telling anyone where she was going. Deng Jiaying slept soundly last night and didn't know what happened. When she woke up in the morning, she didn't see her daughter, thinking that she had gone to exercise.Later, when I went to Chuya's side, I heard Chuya and Qin Jizhou arguing, and I wondered, what are you arguing about?I wanted to persuade him, but felt inconvenient, so I went back to the house.When she came out the second time, the courtyard exploded.

The fire was lit by Qin Jizhou. Qin Jizhou still kept his habit of working in the scientific research institute. He asked Old Wangtou for two rooms, one for living with Chuya and one for reading and working.He didn't go back to the sleeping room last night, thinking that Deng Chaolu was going to sleep with Chu Ya.Waking up early, seeing Chuya in shock, walking in and out of the courtyard non-stop, looking lost, she was surprised, took a look into the room, and went in without seeing Deng Chaolu. "What about Xiaolu, didn't you keep her here last night?" Chu Ya didn't dare to answer, she turned her back and didn't dare to look at Qin Jizhou.Qin Jizhou felt more and more strange, and asked a few more times, Chu Ya suddenly covered her face and began to cry.

"Why are you crying, what happened?" "Xiao Lu, she's gone, she's gone." "Leave?" Qin Jizhou was taken aback, and calmed down when he realized that this "go" was not the "go" he was afraid of. "Where is she going, back to the unit or?" "I don't know, I made trouble, old Qin, I made big trouble." Chu Ya rushed to Qin Jizhou, choked her throat, snot and tears, and told what happened last night. "You—" Qin Jizhou was extremely shocked, pushed Chuya away, stared at her for a long time, and then became angry. "You dare to tell her about this, what are you thinking about!" Chuya was wronged, and it was hard to argue.She has bad intentions towards Deng Chaolu, now she can't wait to reveal her heart for Qin Jizhou to see.But no matter how he explained it, Qin Jizhou just didn't believe it, and insisted that she did it on purpose. "You, you have been making your own calculations all your life. You have never been generous to people and things. Can't you be a little bit more open-minded, even if you leave half of the way for others? Why do you have to take others' money?" What good will it do you if the road is completely cut off!" "Where did I break it?!" Chu Ya suddenly screamed, these words really hurt her, her reflections, changes, repentance, and making up for things these days did not even react to Qin Jizhou's heart at all. "Old Qin, you are going too far. I am your wife. Others don't understand me, so don't you understand? Even if you didn't understand in the past, you still don't understand now?!" Chu Ya whimpered. "How do you let me understand? Is this nonsense? If you can say it, it's your turn to say it. I, Qin Jizhou, don't have a long mouth?" Just as Chu Ya was about to refute, her mind suddenly turned: "Wait, what did you just say, what do you mean you don't have a long mouth?" Qin Jizhou was not wary this time, and said truthfully: "As far as you know, it can be called a new thing. I knew it before Xiaolu came to the library." "You!" Chu Ya was completely dumbfounded, staring at Qin Jizhou in horror, she couldn't believe that Qin Jizhou said this.How is it possible, how is it possible, Qin Jizhou knew it a long time ago, and actually kept it from her for so many years, making her jealous, jealous, and hated. "You bastard!" Chu Ya rushed over and grabbed Qin Jizhou, beating and biting at the same time. "You bastard, you bastard, you have lied to me for so many years and you have harmed me for so many years. You have not only harmed me but also Xiao Yu, you bastard!" Qin Jizhou didn't push Chuya away, and let her act wildly. It seemed that in his life, today he could tolerate his wife acting wildly in his arms.The vast past surged out like black waves, drowning him and the years.His tears fell suddenly and he couldn't help it.His hand suddenly tightened his grip on Chuya, as if once he let go, Chuya would no longer be in his arms.For a long time, he cried and said sadly: "Is it useful to say it? Why do you say it? Isn't it good? You broke everything, silly, you fool, you have never understood it in your whole life." "I'm afraid she will say it." Chu Ya followed his words. Qin Jizhou hugged his wife tightly again, and said: "She said it's up to her, we shouldn't destroy this child, and Jiaying, she won't live long—" "No!" Chu Ya roared firmly, "I will never let her say that even if it's a big mistake, it's not her turn to make it!" At this moment, the door was pushed open with a bang, and Miao Yulan came in. Miao Yulan already knew that Deng Chaolu had left.Waking up early, she dressed freshly, and wanted Xiao Lu to take her around the reservoir area, and also visit Lu Bo's grave by the way.She didn't attend Lu Bo's memorial service, and she didn't attend the funeral, so she wanted to make up for this lesson in a small appearance.Unexpectedly, the old Wangtou told her: "Let's go, the anger is gone." When she found out that it was Deng Chaolu who was going away, Miao Yulan rushed to Chuya's room angrily. There was a big noise inside, Miao Yulan stopped Buzi, after listening for a while, he understood what was going on. "Shameless!" Miao Yulan scolded as soon as she entered, Chu Ya wanted to stay in Qin Jizhou's arms for a while, but when she heard someone behind her, she immediately let go. "Who are you talking about?" Chu Ya asked Miao Yulan while wiping her tears. "I'll criticize whoever does something wrong." Miao Yulan seemed very reasonable. "Miao Yulan, you are the root of trouble, do you know that?" Chu Ya's voice rose. "I'm the root of the trouble? I didn't say that Xiao Lu wasn't born to Jiaying. Wouldn't it hurt my tongue if I said that?" "Miao Yulan, you—" Now it was Chu Ya's turn to be speechless, she just stared at Miao Yulan, but didn't know what to say. Qin Jizhou gently pulled Chu Ya, and took a step forward: "Are you hurt enough? Please leave if you hurt enough. You won't be allowed to behave wildly here!" "It's not that easy to let me go. I'm being wild, so make it clear." Miao Yulan stepped forward as well, fighting against each other like two chickens fighting each other. "You haven't spread enough wild things, Miao Yulan, you face this mountain, face this river, think about it carefully, from that time until now, I'm too embarrassed to tell you how many things you have done without conscience." "That era?" Miao Yulan pretended to be taken aback, and then said: "The era when you ordered blindly and traded people's lives for glory?" It was originally a matter of arguing about Deng Chaolu, but the topic went far away, and history was tossed.But they forgot one thing. Once the history is opened, what flows out of it is not just water, but tears, blood, and black dirty liquid.And these liquids will be like a rushing river, washing away all the dams of time and rationality, washing out all the dirty facts and the hidden reefs under the time! Soon, the three people in the room lost control and quarreled for two hours.The three of them are like three sharp knives, which can be peeled and peeled after the years have passed.Where it hurts, where it hurts, where it hurts, where it is hidden, where it should not be touched, where it should be touched. People are actually very dark.Everyone dresses up glamorously, thinking that if they are glamorous, the world will be glamorous.But everyone wants to strip others to nothing, and wants to expose all the ugliness and darkness of others to the sun.In the end, this world loses its brilliance. In our eyes, apart from sin, there is also filth wrapped in gold, silk, silver and satin.Some people say that the nature of the world is dirty, and we should slowly rinse the world away with a clean heart.More people said that the filthy world and the filthy us have conspired together in a tragedy. Yes, all are tragedies. It was not Qin Jizhou who broke through the blasting barrier of Longshou Mountain back then, but the landlord Wu Dou and Lu Bo.Qin Jizhou is nothing but a plunderer. Back then, Wu Tianliang, who was in charge of technology, proposed to let Lu Bo go up the mountain. It turned out that it was not to break through the blasting technology at all, but to let Lu Bo die.Behind all this stands Ma Yongqian, then director of the Revolutionary Committee.Ma Yongqian fell in love with actor Cheng Xueyi, but Cheng Xueyi fell in love with Lu Bo madly.So Ma Yongqian took the opportunity to blow up the mountain to get rocks, and wanted to get rid of Lu Bo. Miao Yulan was also involved in this matter.Miao Yulan wanted to climb up and surpass Deng Jiaying, so she went to help Ma Yongqian by all means, dreaming of trying to please Ma Yongqian. Chu Ya was also unclean. At the construction site back then, in order to prevent Qin Jizhou from falling in love with Deng Jiaying, Chu Ya went back to the provincial capital with her and even harmed Deng Jiaying, saying that she had an innocent relationship with Lao You Lubo.In order to protect Deng Jiaying, the superiors could only torture Lu Bo more and more inhumanely.At that time, there was another idea to ask the landlord Wudou to stand up and expose Lu Bo, saying that Lu Bo wanted to blow up the dam of the reservoir and destroy the vigorous construction of the reservoir!The person who proposed this conspiracy was Chu Ya's father!Chu Ya's father also hinted that the half-blind militia battalion commander hid explosives and other materials under the dam the night before the reservoir was about to close.Later, it was the landlord Wudou who found out that he and some rightists wet the explosives with water.In the end, he was discovered by a half-blind man and reported to him. Chu Ya's father was furious and wanted to kill Wu Dou. He never thought that when the dam closed, Wu Dou drowned in order to save Lu Bo. Qin Jizhou's scalp tingled when he heard that!When the two women openly exposed each other and tore each other openly, his whole body tensed up, like a man lying on the ground, being shot consecutively.Qin Jizhou thought he had figured everything out. He walked up and down the river basin in the past few months, just reflecting, reflecting on himself, reflecting on the past, and reflecting on the era that made him dizzy.He felt that he had reflected on it thoroughly and clearly, otherwise, he would not have refused to leave Longfeng Gorge, nor would he have resigned as director of the Institute of Hydrology and Water Resources of Northern University.But the two women broke him completely, making him suddenly realize how shallow and pitiful his so-called reflection was.There are so many truths and so much darkness in the world. He shines in the darkness, stands out in the darkness, and then goes on the road in another layer of darkness. Ma Yongqian, the landlord Wudou, Lu Bo, Miao Yulan, including his wife Chu Ya, so there is still so much darkness. These things shocked him far more than Deng Chaolu's life experience. Just when his eyes were dark and his mind went blank, Miao Yulan became ruthless again, and she said to Chuya: "I don't want to settle the past with you, and I don't understand, I just want to ask you, Qin Yu If you don't go home, don't care about my Xiaohan, did you instigate it?" Miao Yulan may feel that if she only fights around the past, she will be more troubled than Chu Ya. To her, the past is far more sinful than Chu Ya, so she pretended to retreat and changed the topic to her daughter's marriage. Chu Ya was not angry this time, but laughed loudly, and said in an absolutely mocking tone: "My son still needs my instigation?" "Sure enough, you were the one who got in the way!" Miao Yulan turned pale with anger. "No, it's not a hindrance, it's education." Chu Ya said bluntly, "I regret it now. I didn't educate him well, and I told him some truths too late. If I had known earlier, she would meet a mother-in-law like you. If he finds a shameless wife, I will not let him marry even if I kill him." Miao Yulan was mad and scolded her whatever she wanted, but Chuya actually turned her finger on her precious daughter and scolded Xiaohan for being shameless, how could she swallow this anger, took a step forward, put her hands on her hips and said: " You still know shame. Why didn’t you talk about shame when you snatched someone else’s husband back then. Why didn’t you talk about shame when you joined forces with your parents to frame Lu Bo? Also, you didn’t go around saying that Xiaolu belonged to this man A bastard, didn't you bring someone to his office to arrest the adulterer? At that time, what about shame, let's talk, what about shame?" Miao Yulan put her hands on her hips, danced and danced, matching her words, and then Hold Qin Jizhou's nose with his fingers, call this man to the left and call this man to the right. Facing such accusations and denunciations, Qin Jizhou didn't have the slightest bit of self-respect, and wished he could hit him head-on to death.If Chuya hadn't followed up and scolded another old story, I'm afraid he would have to follow Deng Chaolu's example and slam into the vast river. Chuya calmed down at this time, it was better for Miao Yulan to scold these words, these words have been suppressed in her heart for so many years, and she was almost dead.Especially with many things in the past, she not only couldn't face Deng Jiaying, but even more couldn't face Qin Jizhou.Miao Yulan was helping her out, she laughed again, then frowned, and fought back even more violently: "Although I did many things that shouldn't be done, I kept a woman's innocence. You, in order to defeat others and marry Wu Tianliang, dare to do anything without any bottom line!" "You spitting blood!" "Bloody mouth? Then let me ask you, who was the one who took off his pants to sleep with Ma Yongqian? Is it me? Who was caught by the half-blind man and fell to Wudou? Could it be me?" "You are shameless!" "Yes, I'm shameless. I shouldn't do those immoral things, I shouldn't damage Lao Lu's reputation, and I shouldn't trip Jiaying just to marry Lao Qin. I admitted all of these in front of Lao Qin today, God punishes me no matter what, do you dare? You dare not, Miao Yulan, do you dare to admit that you had a child before marrying Lao Wu? Can you tell who the father of the child is? You can't tell. Now you know what kind of person you are, you are dirtier than anyone else, you are a woman who can do anything for the purpose, a woman who can do everything she can!" Miao Yulan's face turned black with anger, the veins in her neck were exposed, and her hands were ready to grab her.Chu Ya dared to scold such a secret, how could she have the face to live, how could she have the face to walk out of this door?Before marrying Wu Tianliang, she was indeed pregnant with a child, but she didn't give birth. She secretly went to the county hospital to have an abortion. That form was also filled with Deng Jiaying's name.The doctor who was in charge of performing the abortion on her mouthed out Deng's techniques one by one, which made her both excited and scared.The reason for her abortion was that she wanted to participate in the big battle, and she couldn't let the child in her belly hold her back from dedicating herself to the revolution.These words moved the doctor so much that he almost shouted slogans. How did Chuya know about such a secret? Miao Yulan felt really hit by Chuya. Just at this moment, a terrible cry came from outside. "Come quickly, Director Deng and Aunt Deng have passed out!" The courtyard quickly exploded, and shouts and footsteps came here.Qin Jizhou was the first to react. Just as he was about to go out, Old Wang bumped in headfirst: "Please, don't make a fuss, Jiaying, Jiaying..." "What happened to Jiaying?" Qin Jizhou grabbed Lao Wang's head. "She's been listening, you, you, can you reduce the poison in your mouth, it will crush you to death under your tongue!" Old Wangtou resentfully pushed Qin Jizhou away, beat his chest, and squatted down. Qin Jizhou rushed to the courtyard in a few steps, and someone was already carrying Deng Jiaying. "Put it there and don't move!" Although Qin Jizhou reacted immediately, he was still slow.Deng Jiaying fell backwards, her body fell heavily on the ground, and her head almost hit a rock.Qin Jizhou had seen her fall like this when he was doing the report a few days ago.Later he asked Deng Jiaying if he was suffering from dizziness and headaches, Deng Jiaying nodded.Qin Jizhou suspected that in addition to her original illness, she also had cerebral insufficiency. To put it bluntly, there was a problem with cerebral blood vessels. He asked her to go to the hospital for investigation. problem, don't go.If this kind of patient falls, he must not move, and must maintain the appearance of falling. Once he moves, the problem will become serious. But the people in the courtyard don't have such experience, so they moved in a hurry!