Chapter 39 chapter Ten

Li Binliang reluctantly returned home and went upstairs.After entering the room, without saying anything, he collapsed on the bed and did not move. When Wang Shufen came back from get off work, she guessed the result from her husband's expression and couldn't help sobbing: "You deserve it, you don't listen, let you show off, how about it, I'm right... how will you tell me to meet people from now on..." Wang Shufen sobbed for a while, then slowly stopped, and fell into deep thought.After a while, a resolute expression appeared on his face, as if he had made up his mind.After dinner, she found two beautiful clothes to wear on her body, put on makeup carefully, and said to Li Binliang in a commanding tone: "Take care of the child, I'll go out for a while!"

Looking at his wife's behavior, Li Binliang couldn't guess what she was going to do, so he asked.The answer was: "You don't have to worry about it!" After finishing speaking, he walked out of the house without looking back. It was getting dark, Li Binliang restrained his depressed mood, told his daughter fairy tales, and let her fall asleep slowly.It was past nine o'clock, and my wife hadn't come back yet.He was a little anxious, and he paged twice but didn't reply.He became more anxious and called a third time, but still no reply. What on earth has she been doing?Li Binliang became more and more uneasy.Gradually, the process of getting acquainted with my wife and some things after marriage came to my mind.

how to say?At the beginning, Li Binliang and his wife should be said to be in a free love union.But is that really love?At this time, Li Binliang suddenly became suspicious. When he was a teenager, Li Binliang was very shy, especially towards the opposite sex, he always kept his distance.He feels that the relationship between a man and a woman is very sacred, and the love between a man and a woman must be hidden deep in his heart, so it is always difficult for him to express his affection for the opposite sex.When he was in middle school, he had a crush on a female classmate, and he had tried many times to pluck up the courage to tell her his heart, but he couldn't say anything when he saw the girl.It was the same after going to college. There was a female classmate in the same class who was both talented and beautiful. She was the goal pursued by all the male students in the school.It wasn't until the eve of graduation that he realized that he couldn't miss the opportunity, so he wrote her a letter seriously, and even wrote a poem specially for her, but she rejected him with tears in her eyes after receiving it.Because, after waiting for him for a long time, she finally agreed to another male classmate because of no result.After rejecting him, the female classmate said to him: "You are a good person, a rare good person. But now it is the 20th century, but you still treat love with a medieval attitude, which is rare and a bit pedantic. I am a little worried. Can you adapt to this era of fierce competition in the future!"

This incident dealt a great blow to Li Binliang, and at one point almost made him lose his self-confidence.However, what the female classmate said made sense. After graduating and returning to the city to work, he really felt that he lacked the spirit of competition.For example, working as a secretary in the city government is a place where you can get a lot of money first, and you can be promoted quickly. Who doesn't want to try to get close to the leader?But he couldn't do it, he just immersed himself in his work. Although people recognized him as a talented person, and the leaders praised him for his well-written materials, ability and level, but among the secretaries in the same period, he was the last one to be promoted.

The love affair with his wife is entirely her own initiative.After joining the work, although many people introduced girlfriends to him, he refused them all.He felt that when interacting with a stranger of the opposite sex, with the clear and direct purpose of "getting a partner", it was difficult to express feelings, and it was also difficult to see through a person.At the same time, he also saw that many girls today are very practical in choosing a spouse, that is, whether you have a superior family, whether you have a powerful father, whether you have money, and how much money you have.This made it difficult for him to accept.His family is in a remote village, and he can only live on his monthly salary, and he has to give part of it to his mother, and occasionally to help his brothers.Therefore, even though he was talented and people knew that he was a good character, he got older year by year, and his mother kept pushing him. When he was almost thirty, he met Wang Shufen, his current wife.

Strictly speaking, they still have a bit of fate.It turned out that Wang Shufen used to work in the Municipal Art Troupe and also worked as a solo performer, but it was just a popular singing method.Once, they participated in a district-wide performance and needed to compose songs. They heard from somewhere that Li Binliang could write poems, so they asked him to write the lyrics.That's how they got to know each other.At that time, Wang Shufen's appearance left a deep impression on Li Binliang, and also developed a certain affection.He wrote the lyrics for her, and he wrote it quite well. After composing the music, he won the first prize in the regional performance, and Wang Shufen, who sang the song, won the outstanding performance award.After returning, Wang Shufen specially bought gifts to express her gratitude.

However, Wang Shufen's singing is unscientific, mainly relying on her own voice. As she got older, her voice gradually developed problems, which became more and more serious. Finally, she changed her career and went to work at the Municipal Women's Federation. Later transferred to the Organization Department.Because of their previous relationship, the two lived in the dormitory of the city government. As the distance grew closer, their contacts gradually increased, and their relationship gradually became closer.Gradually, he knew that she used to be a mountain village girl who was recruited into the art troupe many years ago because of her good singing skills.Li Binliang's living ability is poor, and she often helps him wash clothes and sew quilts.At that time, Li Binliang felt that he had a common experience with her, so he gradually developed a special relationship with her.Eventually, they married and had their daughter a year later.

Li Binliang also had doubts, his wife is so beautiful, why has she never had a boyfriend?I asked her, and her explanation was also reasonable: "I worked in an art troupe, and I have seen through the men there. There is no good stuff. I don't want to find someone in the art circle... To tell you the truth, I have been in two, and in the end they all turned yellow." , I'm getting older, how about, can it be your turn?" It should be said that Li Binliang was young and honest at that time, so he didn't think much about it.Although some colleagues teased him half-jokingly: "Hey, you have to keep an eye on her, she is so beautiful, and she has been engaged in literature and art, she is so popular..." At that time, he thought it was a joke and didn't take it to heart.

Soon after the marriage, however, another side of the wife is revealed.It's unbelievable that she is so snobbish.For example, she always encouraged Li Binliang to approach the leader, which made Li Binliang very disgusted.And what she talked about most when she went home was which department and who was promoted again, who was about to be promoted, and what position she wanted to fight for.She made rapid progress indeed, and finally became the deputy director of the Labor Bureau.Li Binliang felt that as a woman, as a wife, she should not have too much desire for power, but should be gentle and full of warmth and sunshine... He really can't understand how women struggle in the officialdom.Once, he raised this point with his wife, and she immediately countered him and said, "I've never seen a man like you, who hinders his wife's progress even if he is not self-motivated. In these days, don't fight or grab? If you don't fight, you can go up." , it will go down more and more, a person has no power and no money, who will look down on him? How do we live? According to what you said, we are a good mix, but what will happen to the child in the future? You don’t want her to go to college, but to go to college Is it a prestigious university? But do you know how much it costs to go to college? Can you afford it?" This made him speechless.

If this can be tolerated, what makes Li Binliang even more unbearable is her vanity. In life, she always compares with others in terms of clothing, clothing, food and housing. Seeing that others are better than herself, she always feels uncomfortable.This is where they cause the most conflict.For example, after they got married, they first bought two bungalows with the help of relatives and friends and their own savings. Li Binliang thought it was very good.But the wife couldn't stand seeing other people living upstairs.No, the Labor Bureau built a residential building, and she said she wanted to buy everything, and quarreled with herself because of this. Thanks to Wu Zhishen's help, she finally moved in.Living in the building has trouble again, because many people have carried out renovations, but they can’t afford it. Therefore, his wife blamed him for his incompetence, and she also wanted him to use the case to make money. The two often quarreled over this .Moving into the building not only did not bring happiness, but the family conflicts escalated.

There is another important point of Li Binliang's dissatisfaction with his wife, and that is her attitude towards her family -- mother, brother and sister-in-law.Every time someone came to the house, she was always indifferent, and there was nothing to say about food and housing. Her attitude was lukewarm and uncomfortable.Gradually, brothers and sisters-in-law are less likely to come to the door.Especially what Li Binliang couldn't tolerate was that she treated her mother like this. For this reason, he fired back, and his wife replied: "I have such a personality, and I am like everyone. I don't pretend to be warm. Besides. , What the hell happened to me? Your mother is here. Where did I go to serve? Before I left, I bought things and took money. What do you want from me? Besides, I do the same to my family..." What she said was true. Even if her father-in-law and mother-in-law came, she didn't seem to be very affectionate. On the contrary, Li Binliang felt sorry and surrounded her.His father-in-law and mother-in-law are also from the countryside, and their living habits are different from those in the city. When something went wrong, his wife scolded him face to face, which made Li Binliang very unhappy. He once pointed it out to her, but his wife did not listen to him at all: "My family You don't need to worry about it!" The father-in-law and mother-in-law seem to be used to their daughter, and when they see her, they always have to be careful... From all this, Li Binliang painfully discovered that there was a gap between himself and his wife, a gap that could not be communicated or understood.However, he has been enduring and adopting an evasive attitude.However, in the recent period, I couldn't bear it anymore.Because he gradually realized that instead of being able to change her, she wanted to change him, asking him to be a different kind of person, a kind of person he didn't want to be.This repulsed him particularly.Therefore, they have been in constant conflicts in the recent period, and the contradictions have deepened day by day. Now, on this night, she left home mysteriously again, left her husband and daughter at home after a long absence, and he couldn't help but make him suspicious. where did she goWhat are you doing? It should be about your own affairs.This... Could it be... He thought of the office, the suite, the corner of the bed exposed by the half-open door, and some of the rumors people had said. Damn, is she... He picked up the phone angrily, but stopped after pressing a few numbers.If she was really there and he answered the phone, what would he say?If she wasn't there, what was there to say?Or, it's clearly there, but she doesn't admit it, so what... A strong sense of shame welled up in his heart, and he felt his chest was going to explode. He remembered that when he was working in the government, his wife was an eye-catching figure in the government compound, and some men's eyes would always slip on her intentionally or unintentionally, including some leaders... By the way, including him... … is it possible?Are you just thinking wildly... He suddenly remembered, since his wife is so beautiful, why did she delay getting married until she was so old?Why did you choose yourself?Judging from her personality, she can't be a very honest person, could it be... Li Binliang looked at his watch, it was half past ten.He couldn't bear it anymore, picked up the phone and started dialing the number again.But at this moment, there was a sound of unlocking the door. He was ushered into the hall. The wife walks in. Li Binliang greeted his wife with his eyes. His wife turned a blind eye to him and went straight into the bathroom.Li Binliang heard the sound of locking inside, followed by the sound of water. Li Binliang thought for a while and walked back to the bedroom.He had roughly guessed where she had gone, including why she had gone there. At this time, he discovered that his wife has another ability, which is to use unscrupulous means for the purpose. Hatred and pain bit Li Binliang's heart. The wife finally came out of the bathroom.The lead was washed away, making her look a little more plain than usual, but she looked a little more pleasing to the eye.He found that her appearance was indeed very beautiful, but did this beauty still belong to him? The wife's expression was calm, as if nothing had happened, and she was about to lie down on the bed. Li Binliang couldn't bear it anymore, and grabbed her: "Don't sleep, tell me, what did you do?" The wife didn't answer, and wanted to pull her arm back, but Li Binliang couldn't let go: "You have to tell me, what have you been doing and what have you done..." His wife looked at him and stared at him with her beautiful eyes. Suddenly, he found that there was light in her eyes, and then the light turned into tears and flowed down her cheeks. Li Binliang was startled, his heart softened, his hands relaxed, and his tone changed: "Shufen, what's wrong with you, what happened, tell me quickly..." Wang Shufen withdrew her arm abruptly, and suddenly lay on the bed and began to cry: "What is my fate, why did I find such a man... who understands me..." The sympathy and worry quickly disappeared, and Li Binliang suddenly didn't want to ask any more questions. He looked at his wife lying on the bed, and said in a low voice: "Since I can't satisfy you, please think about it seriously. I know myself. I'm afraid this character will never change for the rest of my life, so don't get you involved!" After speaking, she turned her head away. Wang Shufen cried even more sadly: "This man, he has paid so much for him, and he doesn't thank him, but he still treats himself like this."Mayor Wei is right, how could I find someone like him?How much care does it take to live a lifetime with someone like him, what's the point... After crying for a while, she gradually stopped. Since he ignored him, what's the point of crying again?She recalled her experience tonight: before going, she called him first, and he happily agreed to wait for her in his office.She knew what he meant, and had heard about his character, but she still went to see him, with an illusion that he would start to move after entering the house, and said that as long as she agreed, he would agree to everything.But I was not that kind of person after all, so I didn't agree, so I managed to get out... However, although Wei Min was very unhappy, he still agreed to arrange for Li Binliang properly in the future, but he didn't understand his own intentions.She thought of Wei Min's words again, yes, if Li Binliang didn't change himself, what would be his fate in the future... She thought of herself again. At the beginning, she was just an ordinary mountain village child. Went to the countryside, joined the art troupe, and changed my destiny.Speaking of which, when I was in the art troupe, there were many people who pursued me, but I didn't like those men. They were all superficial, casual, and unreliable. Later, I found Li Binliang by chance, knew his experience, and felt that others were reliable and talented. , I chose him.Who would have thought that a reliable person like him would be so unreliable, so frightening... She sobbed again, and even though she was lying on the bed, she felt her body falling into a bottomless abyss... Hearing his wife's sobs, Li Binliang felt guilty again, and wanted to comfort her, but just as her hand touched her, she shook her body and opened his hand. Li Binliang didn't move anymore, looking at his wife beside him, he suddenly felt a strange feeling towards her, and felt that the distance from her was so far away.