Chapter 39 chapter eight

As dusk approached in his later years, when he was sitting alone facing the lamp, Gao Ming severely examined his life more than once.During the inspection, he asked himself from time to time: In the past, during those extraordinary years of revolutionary struggle, did he really never doubt the party?Is it really like a cog or a screw rumbling with the party machine?Did he ever have a moment of confusion?Ever had the urge to stop the gears from turning? Had.There have been such extraordinary moments, and there have been such thoughts. That October morning in 1937 should not be forgotten.When Gao Ming and hundreds of political prisoners stood in the courtyard of the prison, listening to the representative report on the situation sent by the party organization outside, profound doubts arose for the first time.Gao Ming still remembers the representative's appearance very clearly. He was tall and thin, about forty years old, with a sharp face and a pair of gold-rimmed glasses on the bridge of his nose. His surname seemed to be Wang.A fellow prisoner knew him well, and said that Representative Wang was indeed a Communist and had once been the head of the Shandong Provincial Party Committee.Representative Wang announced to them the instructions of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China on the cooperation between the Kuomintang and the Communist Party of the whole nation in the war of resistance, requiring them to obey the organization's decision, complete the procedures, and be released from prison to work.

Gao Ming remembered that it was a dark and humid day, the sun was not visible, the sun was not visible, and the surrounding was gray, which made people feel extremely depressing.There were bursts of rumbling noises faintly coming from outside the high wall power grid. It was unclear whether it was the artillery fire of the battle, or the muffled thunder suppressed in the low sky.It is autumn, and it is said that there should be no more thunder. Everyone was silent, no one spoke for a long time, and no one knew what to say.Friends in distress knew more or less the situation of the Anti-Japanese War outside. Before Gao Ming was arrested, he had heard that the central government had the intention to implement cooperation between the Kuomintang and the Communist Party.However, at this moment, when this intention really became a reality, Gao Ming and his fellow sufferers felt it was unbelievable again.Out of high revolutionary vigilance, Gao Ming's first instinctive reaction was: This is probably a hoax, the person surnamed Wang may represent not the Communist Party but the Kuomintang, and this person is trying to drag them into trouble.

Representative Wang saw that everyone was silent, everyone was indifferent, and he was a little anxious. With red circles, he said that everyone's mood is understandable, but now for the overall situation of the Kuomintang and the Communist Party to cooperate in the national crisis, comrades should trust the CPC Central Committee, believe in the organization, and should Unconditionally obey the decision of the party organization, come out to work, and make new contributions to the whole nation's war of resistance.Then, a KMT official in a suit also spoke.Officials said that the CCP now has a legal status, and the Red Army affiliated to the CCP will soon be incorporated into the battle order of the National Revolutionary Army. After that, everyone should put aside previous suspicions and work together for the survival of the nation and the maintenance of the state system.Seeing that there was still a dead silence below, the official said that the prison was isolated from the outside world, and everyone might feel sudden, which is not surprising.Starting today, you can read more newspapers and read the CCP’s announcements on cooperation between the Kuomintang and the Communist Party.Anyone who is willing to accept the unified leadership of Generalissimo Jiang and fulfill the obligation of the Kuomintang and the Communist Party to cooperate and jointly resist Japan can sign the drafted statement and then leave prison to work.

As soon as the report meeting was over, all the chandeliers were buzzing and chaotic.All the signs in the prison proved that what the representative surnamed Wang and the KMT officials said was true.From that morning onwards, the cells where political prisoners were held were no longer locked, and fellow prisoners were no longer prohibited from crossing accounts.The attitude of the guards is also much better, and some guards apologized to their prisoners in private, said good things, and asked for care in the future. On the same day, news also came from a secret channel outside the prison. It is indeed the spirit of the Party Central Committee’s instructions to fulfill the procedures to be released from prison. It requires everyone to resolutely implement it regardless of whether they can accept it emotionally or understand it. Come out first.Gao Ming and a few prudent fellow sufferers asked, who will be responsible if something goes wrong in the future?The answer is also clear, this is the decision of the central government, and the central government is responsible for any problems.Only then did everyone's thoughts become unified. On the afternoon of the third day, when the representative surnamed Wang appeared in the prison again, the fellow prisoners not only completed the procedures, but also shouted together with the representative, "Support Chiang Kai-shek who led the War of Resistance!" Chairman", "Support the National Government", and "Support the Three People's Principles".

No one thought of calling these slogans, and everything was done naturally in a hasty and excited atmosphere.After the representative Wang finished speaking, he waved his arms and shouted slogans, and everyone waved their arms in unison and shouted.It's like the operation of the main engine drives a series of large and small gears, which cannot be more reasonable. Gao Ming instinctively rejected all of this, neither raising his hand nor responding.He stayed in the crowd blankly, and suddenly felt that the world and the people around him were very strange. He seemed to be floating in the mid-air without roots or bottom, instead of standing on the real land. with.

How could this be?why?Gao Ming asked himself.Is all this necessary?Could it be that the Chinese Communist Party, which has waged an armed struggle with the Kuomintang Chiang Kai-shek for ten years, cannot complete the War of Resistance without supporting the chairman and his national government?What is the difference between the Red Army becoming the national army and the Communist Party becoming the Kuomintang?Who can guarantee that the bloody political tragedy of 1927 will not be repeated? What makes Gao Ming even more unacceptable is the humiliation caused by the contrast of reality to him and his fellow prisoners: he and his fellow prisoners are still prisoners, and they are not in the free world, but under the fence of the prison—— — Those who support Chairman Jiang under the fence and power grid of Chairman Chiang's prison!In any case, this seems absurd, even shameless.Gao Ming believed that the guards in the prison were secretly laughing at them, and they would say: Look at these Communists!They were imprisoned for chanting the slogan of overthrowing the Kuomintang reactionaries, but now they walked out of the prison amidst shouts of support for Generalissimo Chiang and the Three People's Principles. They all repented and rehabilitated.

He has not repented, no, never has.He was still the same him when he was arrested. The slogans "Down with the Kuomintang reactionary government" and "Long live the Chinese Soviet" that he raised his arms and breathed out were still circling in his mind. Gao Ming felt that as long as he opened his mouth, these circling voices Will tremble in this turbid air. Sadly, the party no longer needs these high-pitched voices of passionate class struggle.The party's machinery has changed directions, ethnic conflicts have risen to become the principal contradiction, and class conflicts must be reconciled, not intensified.As long as he belongs to the party machine, he has to turn in the same direction, whether voluntary or forced, regardless of whether his personal feelings can accept it or not.To put it bluntly, his personal feelings are insignificant, and the party's choice is paramount. As a party member, he can only and must submit to the party's choice of interests.

At dusk that day, Gao Ming held back the tears of grief and anger, and walked out of the prison gate with heavy steps. After going out, he did not report to the party organization as required.Facing the noisy world for the first time, and facing thousands of possible choices, he asked himself: Can he live better without the party's machinery and party's decisions?Would his existence be more meaningful? During those short days, Gao Ming's thoughts left the Party's track, flying wildly in a chaotic starry sky.As a result, he kept hurting his own heart, and also hurt Ling Feng.He wanted to be a good husband and live a good life for Ling Feng and himself, but Ling Feng didn't appreciate it, instead saying that he was sick—depression.The prescription Ling Feng gave him was to report to the party organization as soon as possible, accept new work tasks, adapt to the new situation in real work, and keep up with the new line of the party.

Under the repeated urging of his wife Ling Feng, Gao Ming reported to the organization, participated in three days of situational education and political studies, and then was sent to Qingpu City, which he was familiar with, to engage in the anti-Japanese and national salvation work in cooperation between the Kuomintang and the Communist Party.So, with deep doubts and worries, he dealt with his old opponent An Zhongliang again. This happened at the end of October 1937. I haven't seen him in ten years, An Zhongliang is getting old, wrinkles of different shades have appeared in the corners of his eyes and mouth, and he has obviously gained weight, his belly has stood up, his face has swollen a lot, his hands are fleshy and soft very.When shaking hands with Gao Ming, An Zhongliang looked calm, fully showing the maturity and smoothness of an official politician.

This old adversary didn't mention a word of life debts owed to the Communists in the past ten years. He laughed and wrote off those ten years. He rubbed Gao Ming's arm and said, "Brother Gao Ming, I have been doing well for many years." I miss you! I am so happy to know that you are coming to Qingpu! I told them, I understand Gao Ming, we have had good cooperation experience, and I am confident that if it is someone else, I will Don’t dare to say such big words!” An Zhongliang's expression and tone of voice were very sincere. It was not a reunion of friends, but a reunion of old friends.

However, Gao Ming clearly saw the pale and bleeding faces on the face of the old friend in front of him, and he always felt that the soft hand holding him was stained with blood.Gao Ming was not yet mature enough to be tactful at that time, and he was not used to hiding his true thoughts deep in his heart, so he revealed his emotions as soon as he opened his mouth: "Yes, man, you did not lose money on the cooperation ten years ago! We did not I suffered a great loss, and I almost stuck my head in it!" An Zhongliang was startled, then smiled and said: "Where! Where! Didn't you pay for it? Isn't your head still growing on your own neck?! I see, your brother has made money." "Oh, I still made money? What did I make?" "Hey, you got one of our comrade female party members! You got Ling Feng to be your wife!" Then there was another burst of laughter. Ling Feng was also there at the time, and Ling Feng said: "Hey, I asked you to forcefully push me to Gao Ming's side!" An Zhongliang didn't continue on this topic, and smiled and said: "Joke, it's all a joke! Anyway, you came here! The Qingpu Party Headquarters comrades and I sincerely welcome you, and sincerely cooperate with you! Your Communist Party has given up Class struggle, if we support Chairman Chiang, we will have a common language and a basis for cooperation. And with the sincere cooperation between our two parties, China's war of resistance will have a bright future..." These words are really harsh, like the slogans in the courtyard of the prison, and the sense of humiliation wells up in my heart again, and I can't suppress it even if I want to suppress it.Gao Ming tried his best to be calm, but he did not back down and said: "Abandoning class struggle is an important concession made by our party out of the overall consideration of the survival of the nation. It’s not the Generalissimo Jiang who compromised and surrendered to Japan in those days, and only knew how to deal with Annei.” An Zhongliang said: "It's not easy to put it this way. As the leader of a huge country, how could Chairman Jiang compromise and surrender to Japan? How could he tolerate Japanese imperialist aggression? Chairman Jiang has always advocated the War of Resistance! In the past, Chairman Jiang was unable to carry out the grand plan of the War of Resistance because you were engaged in class struggle. You engaged in class struggle, which caused unrest in the neighborhood, and there was no peace in the country. Of course, Chairman Jiang wanted to make peace within the country! Is the cause of peace inside the country still for the sake of fighting against the outside world! Now you Accept Chairman Jiang's call, stop engaging in class struggle, and there will be no security issues!" Gao Ming immediately retorted: "In this way, we, the Communist Party, should be responsible for today's national peril? Then I would like to ask: Who lost the three eastern provinces? Who lost North China..." An Zhongliang stopped Gao Ming's words with a wave of his hand: "Okay, okay, let's discuss these issues later! I think, let's go have something to drink first? Comrades from the city party department are going to greet you and your wife! " This concludes the first conversation.Later—about 1950, when he stood before An Zhongliang as the judge, it was discovered that in the October 1937 conversation, he was weak.On the surface, the debate between him and An Zhongliang about the cooperation between the Kuomintang and the Communist Party seemed to have no winners or losers, but psychologically he lost.There is neither a strong political power behind him nor the will of a political party that matches his true feelings, so he cannot express firm self-confidence in a generous form. However, at that time, he didn't think so deeply, and he didn't even realize his own weakness.The only thing that feels the deepest is: An Zhongliang is still An Zhongliang, this old opponent has not undergone any substantial changes due to changes in the situation, and at any time when the cooperation breaks down, he may once again raise the butcher knife against the Communists.In this regard, Gao Ming has to maintain a high degree of vigilance. It is naive and ridiculous to imagine a sincere and selfless cooperation with them. Later facts proved that his judgment was correct.The historical wound is indeed difficult to heal. It is impossible to restore the relationship between the KMT and the Communist Party in Qingpu to that morning in 1925.Gao Ming was deeply impressed by a small incident at the reception banquet that night.An Zhongliang's wife Tang Juan attended the banquet. When he called "Sister Tang" and sincerely toasted Tang Juan and thanked Tang Juan for the saved morning, Tang Juan looked at him coldly and called him "" Comrade Gao".Then he said a word: "I really regret saving you. If I didn't save you, my one-year-old daughter would not be blown to death by someone you sent." After finishing speaking, he poured a glass of wine on his face. Gao Ming's face was covered with wine, he was dumbfounded while holding his glass... "Comrade Gao" became "Director Gao" within a few days.The Qingpu Workers’ Anti-Japanese National Salvation Corps was established. He served as the director and deputy head of the political department of the National Salvation Corps. Ling Feng also served as a member of the Municipal Women’s Salvation Association. 125 William Street, Regimental Headquarters.An Zhongliang and many old acquaintances and friends from back then often came to No. 125 to talk about work with him.The old scene of the old man often aroused Gao Ming's infinitely affectionate memories, which made him subconsciously feel that the General League strike seemed to have never ended, and it has continued to this day.But it was also the old scenes of these old friends who kept warning him, asking him to be vigilant in everything.High security naturally creates a lot of excessive sensitivity.Later, the higher-level party organization had to warn Gao Ming, asking him to pay attention to maintaining the unity of the Kuomintang and the Communist Party while adhering to the principles, and to adhere to the united front policy. Gao Ming accepted it verbally, but he didn't accept it in his heart.Even when An Zhongliang ordered the arrest and execution of Ji Boshun and those reactionary Trotskyites who sabotaged the War of Resistance, he was unconsciously surprised and disturbed.Although he did not admit that Ji Boshun and his gang were the Communist Party in words and in his heart, but subconsciously he stubbornly believed that the crazy bullets fired by the special law enforcement team at Ji Boshun's gang also hit him.Once in his sleep, he clearly saw An Zhongliang approaching him step by step with a smoking pistol.Ji Boshun's bloody body lay beneath An Zhongliang's feet...