Chapter 14 Chapter Fourteen

In October 1989, I went to Guangzhou on a business trip and changed trains. I wanted to see Shenzhen, where the Chinese people's dream of becoming rich was being fulfilled.As soon as I walked out of the train station, the strap of my small leather bag felt hot on my shoulder. When I looked again, the leather bag was already 20 to 30 meters away, leaving me at a speed of 100 kilometers per hour.A teenage child was carried on the back of the motorcycle. The strength, speed and astonishing accuracy of the child's strikes all showed that this was one of his usual livelihood skills and one of the means to mine the first pot of gold.I had no money and no address, so I didn't know how to find Hao Shuwen's house.Wandering on the road for a while, I found a traffic policeman, who helped me find the nearest police station, and used the phone number of the police station to call Hao Shuwen's home.Twenty minutes later, Hao Shuwen appeared at the police station.She became taller and taller due to her weight gain, filling up the small reception room of the police station.When I met her, she scolded me: Why don't you tighten the strap of your purse?Anyone who comes to Shenzhen knows to carry a purse on the shoulder that is not on the side of the road.Hao Shuwen is still expressing her condolences and pensions to me, saying that when people in Shenzhen see you looking around like a fool, who will they not rob you of?

Follow Hao Shuwen to her house.The family is big, with few people. My son lives in a school, and my husband lives in Hainan. Hainan has become the western part of the pioneers.For Hao Shuwen's husband, Shenzhen is no longer a paradise for adventurers, and his pioneering and pioneering spirit has become an unstable factor again. During the days when I stayed at Hao Shuwen's house, I found that there was nothing to talk about the present and the future with her, we could only talk about the past.Those people and things in the past, talked about repeatedly, laughed repeatedly, talked too much, and the stories changed.The memory itself is also alive, with its own life and growth, and the stories exist in it, live together and grow together, so it is not what it used to be.But who can guarantee that the original appearance of the matter is its truth?Compared with He Xiaoman's schizophrenia, when she was ill, she repeatedly said "I am still far from a hero". It seems that her heart has been oppressed for too long, and the honor came too suddenly and violently. She was so happy that she collapsed. It's crazy, but I don't think that's necessarily the whole truth of things, maybe just a small part of the truth.The roots of Xiaoman's growth into a human being are so rich and complex, so dense and tortuous, buried in such deep and wide dark secrets, it is hopeless to sort them out after thinking about it.The stories I wrote about her could only be based on imagination, only on my natural tendency to make up stories; what am I supposed to do with a brain that doesn't remember facts honestly?Can only make up.Hao Shuwen and I talked about the people and things we talked about countless times, and neither of us pointed out that the other party was unfaithful to the facts.Liu Feng changed a little after we talked about it once.Hao Shuwen told me that she met Liu Feng in Haikou, treated him to a meal, and lent him money.It turned out that Liu Feng had also come to the south to do the book business.I think, since ordinary soldiers can transform themselves into bosses, Liu Feng is hardworking by nature, and it is difficult to do handicraft work with only one hand, but doing business should not be delayed.What makes me uncomfortable is that we writers know that it is not easy to make money by writing books, and doing a book business is roughly the same as a kid on a motorcycle snatching my purse.

According to Hao Shuwen's description of Liu Feng, this is how I imagined Liu Feng in the late 1980s: Liu Feng wholesaled books in the hands of booksellers, and then drove a three-wheeled car with one hand to deliver books to various stalls.On the day he met Hao Shuwen, the largest stall at the entrance of Baishamen Park happened to be seized.A translator who specializes in translating foreign romance novels traveled to Haikou, and on the same day found pirated copies of his translations in farmers' fish markets, clothing markets, under overpasses, and streets crowded with hair salons.The translator reported to the city management, who confiscated the books on the bookstall and the three-wheeled car Liu Feng used to transport the books.Liu Feng and Hao Shuwen shouldn't have run into each other. Their societies are separated by countless levels.If Liu Feng hadn't gone to the head of the urban management to ask for his tricycle, if Hao Shuwen hadn't gone to the club on the same street to find her husband who played cards for two days and two nights, if Liu Feng hadn't been waiting opposite the club If the head of the city management came out of the bathroom, if Hao Shuwen's husband hadn't sent her home to get cash to pay the gambling debt, if Liu Feng and others hadn't been desperate and had a loud fight with the bathroom guard who blocked him, neither of them would have met , Even if you pass by, you will miss it.Liu Feng's Mandarin with a Shandong accent is familiar to all of us.How many times did that accent do ideological work for us, how many times did it convey to us the "deficiencies" raised by the Youth League branch, how many times did it point out the "hopes" for improvement, and how many times did it say to us: "What's wrong with He Xiaoman? Wash your face and take a bath. What’s the matter with a towel? What’s the matter with the smell of sweat on your body? Why don’t you get used to others and always bully them?” How many times the accent in the blanket exercise class yelled at us who were starting to run: “ Get ready—go!—alright!” Even if Liu Feng is gone, his voice will still live on in our memory.Because we gradually understood after Liu Feng left us that that voice and accent came from such an honest, simple and kind heart.Hao Shuwen saw Liu Feng with her Shandong accent.Liu Feng was wearing a lapel-collared short-sleeved shirt with a few colored bars on his chest, which strengthened his already well-developed pectoralis major muscles.Under the light outside the bathroom door, one of Liu Feng's prosthetic arms was clearly visible.When Hao Shuwen crossed the road, she saw that the plastic texture of the prosthetic arm had aged, and there was a small hole in the elbow, as if burned by a cigarette end.Hao Shuwen's eyes became hot, and she called Liu Feng.Liu Feng turned around, looked at the rich and tall woman, and smiled: "Xiao Hao." He didn't seem surprised at all.

On this day, Hao Shuwen was in a hurry to go home to get money to save her husband's life, and Liu Feng was not in the state of reunion, so the two left their mobile phone numbers and broke up hastily.The next day Hao Shuwen called and asked Liu Feng to drink tea in a hotel restaurant. Liu Feng was still dressed the day before, but the lapel short-sleeved shirt was washed and ironed.When he was in the art troupe, Liu Feng would iron the military uniform with boiling water in an aluminum lunch box.Hao Shuwen noticed the crocodile logo on the chest of his short-sleeved shirt, and she also noticed that his teeth were not as white and neat as before.The quality of life is first reflected in the health of the teeth.He has been in Haikou for three or four years from his hometown. An old comrade-in-arms encouraged him to go south. The old comrade-in-arms went to the front with him. He went to Hainan first, saying that there were more opportunities in the south.

Hao Shuwen asked: "Then do you think there are many opportunities?" Liu Feng smiled.Then he told about the car confiscated by the city management the day before.This is the third three-wheel truck he bought.The urban management sells all kinds of confiscated cars on the black market to make extra money.We all know that Liu Feng got married in his hometown, his wife is a conductor on a long-distance bus, and he has a daughter.Hao Shuwen asked Liu Feng if his wife and children had come to Haikou with him. He said that his wife had run away with someone else. In the first year he came to Haikou, his wife filed for divorce.There are many opportunities to meet men on the long-distance bus, even if other conditions are not as good as Liu Feng, at least all limbs are complete.

"So you're single now?" Liu Feng smiled vaguely and said let it go. Hao Shuwen then understood that he was not completely single, how could a man who went to Hainan be completely single?So many "sisters" who "go forward boldly" did not agree.Walking out of this restaurant, there are sisters who came boldly from all over the country standing under the street lights as soon as it gets dark.Liu Feng's book selling business still depends on the favor of the sisters in the hair salon.Because Liu Feng is in the book business, he has to read some books purchased and shipped, so he often recommends some books with more meaningful meanings for his younger sisters to read.Moreover, books with a slightly noble meaning are also the most difficult to sell, and they can’t be sold for one or two yuan, so he lends such books to his younger sisters, and advises them that the hairdresser’s food is not long, and after reading the book, they can find serious books in the future. rice bowl.Hao Shuwen laughed loudly when she heard this, Liu Feng didn't forget to do good deeds even though he was like this.She said that her husband, a real estate developer, scolded Hainan that money is hard to earn. How can you, Liu Feng, earn money?Liu Feng said that he only had one daughter and one mother, and the money he earned was enough to send back to his hometown to support them.That meal of tea was still happy, except for the moment when Ding Ding was mentioned.Hao Shuwen told Liu Feng that Ding Ding got married for the second time and went to Australia. She bought a new Honda car. She just wrote a letter to her. She rummaged through her purse and wanted to find out Ding Ding’s photo and give it to Liu Feng. Look, I just found Ding Ding's photo, and I was still muttering that Ding Ding somehow bought a khaki car, never seen that color before, when I looked up, I caught a glimpse of Liu Feng's face, his sunburned face turned gray , his eyes suddenly crossed her, as if to reprimand, but also as if begging for mercy: Okay, why are you mentioning Ding Ding again?So Hao Shuwen put the photo back into her bag, and realized that Liu Feng's heart was really broken, and the wound caused by Tintin was hopeless to grow again.Before the two broke up, Liu Feng stuttered, holding back his red face and neck, and borrowed money from Hao Shuwen to redeem the three-wheeled car.Hao Shuwen immediately took out 10,000 yuan from her bag and gave it to him.Liu Feng asked for Xiaohao's address, and the storyteller gave her the money to send home.Xiao Hao teased him that he could come to sit at home without paying back the money. She made real northern dumplings for him. Southerners can also call dumplings dumplings?Liu Feng also left his address, saying that he lives by the sea, but he has learned how to cook fish from fishermen all these years, and he is waiting to give Xiao Hao Liangliang his skills.

Hao Shuwen went home and talked to her husband, asking him to give her old comrade-in-arms a job.Her husband asked her, what can this man do?She thought to herself, Liu Feng with two hands can do it, he can do any job with a touch, but now with only one hand left, it is difficult to push the vacuum cleaner to mop the floor.She assured her husband that her old comrade-in-arms was definitely a good man.Who is a good person?Her husband smiled contemptuously and said that his company has no free food for good people to eat.She said, could there be fewer idlers in his company?Husband said, quite a few, you, Hao Shuwen, were the first to eat, and what you ate was the idle meal of sea cucumber and abalone fish maw.She said that she didn't know who it was, who had been chasing after her for several years, crying and yelling that she must give the old lady this bowl of sea cucumber and abalone for free food!If you don't eat it, you can't do it, then you have to jump into the river and hang yourself!Is my old lady rare to eat this bowl of idle food?If you don't take off your military uniform, you will have to pay meal tickets even if you hang out in the art troupe until you die!Hao Shuwen didn't know when she started talking to her husband in such a sarcastic and scolding style.

After scolding each other, the husband is still loose, saying that the company has two guard dogs, and there is no one to feed and walk the dog, so let that Uncle Liu Feng take care of the dog.There is a job, but Liu Feng is gone.Hao Shuwen called his mobile phone, but the other party shut down.She had no choice but to drive to find her at the address Liu Feng left her.The place where he lives no longer belongs to Haikou City, and it is true that it is by the sea, but the house is a self-built house rented out by fishermen, and the walls are not straight, as if it was slanted by the sea wind.The homeowner said that Liu Feng had moved out a month ago.Hao Shuwen did the math, and when she found out that Liu Feng lent her money, she planned to move and shut down.Hao Shuwen wanted to find Liu Feng's neighbors to find out his whereabouts, but all the neighbors locked their doors.The landlord said that the higher-ups regularly inspect the sanitation, and today is the inspection day, and his tenants locked their doors and hid.Hao Shuwen's car is fine, and the owner proposed to take her car to find those tenants who are hiding from the inspection, and someone among them must know Liu Feng's whereabouts.Behind a convenience store, they found a group of women playing mahjong. The owner said they were all neighbors of Liu Feng.Hao Shuwen knew at a glance what a group of women were doing.What the higher authorities need to check is not only environmental sanitation, but also weathering hygiene. If it is unsanitary, they have to pay for the inspection.Women can count half of Chinese dialects with just one mouthful.Some of the women really knew Liu Feng, or should I say knew Liu Feng's girlfriend, but no one would go into details.When Hao Shuwen got into the car, one of the women followed and gestured to her.Hao Shuwen lowered the car window.The woman said in Sichuan Mandarin, one thousand yuan for hearing the news, and another charge for leading the way.Hao Shuwen asked her to get in the car, locked the door, and drove for five or six hundred meters. After confirming that no one followed and smashed the car and robbed her, she took out a thousand yuan to listen to the news first.The woman told Hao Shuwen that Liu Feng only lived here for three months and moved here with Xiaohui.Liu Feng’s girlfriend’s surname is Hui, who used to be a girl in a hair salon. Liu Feng lent books to Xiaohui to teach her knowledge and crafts. .In the beginning, Liu Feng's business was good, and Liu Feng raised Xiaohui for two years. Later, Liu Feng's business lost money and the house could no longer be rented, so Xiaohui brought Liu Feng here to live.Liu Feng knew that Xiaohui had secretly contacted the original guest again, turned his back on him, and left, Xiaohui followed suit.

After hearing the news, Hao Shuwen couldn't say a word, let alone ask a woman from Sichuan to lead her to find Liu Feng.On the way home, Hao Shuwen advised herself not to be sad. Hainan hadn't completely degraded Liu Feng. He unsuccessfully educated and rehabilitated a prostitute, at least making that Sichuan woman named Xiaohui a good two years. During this period, Hao Shuwen and I met in Shenzhen. "I feel like I owe Liu Feng something." After she finished speaking, she shook her head again, "I don't know...why did we treat him like that afterwards? For Lin Dingding. We seem to owe Liu Feng something, he treats us Who is bad? Just because of Tintin, we did that to him."

Why are we doing that to Liu Feng?Is it really for Lin Dingding?All of a sudden, in Hao Shuwen's home, where there was nothing but resplendent living room, next to the grand piano covered in a thin layer of dust, I seemed to understand.In fact, everyone in the Red Mansion was like me at that time, never convinced of Liu Feng's kindness from beginning to end.Just like me, everyone has that bit of darkness in their hearts, and they want to see Liu Feng show his secrets, revealing clues, so that we can at least see that he is not much better than us, and that he also has our little shameless and nasty things. , There will also be a small sense of guilt from time to time, stealing a pack of monosodium glutamate from the cooking class, or wiping a girl's body in a public swimming pool, etc.Therefore, while enjoying Liu Feng's kindness, we never stop questioning his kindness.Liu Feng and us exist in the same three-dimensional space and have the same density of material molecules. How can he be better than us?Fortunately so much?From the very beginning when I knew Liu Feng, I caught a glimpse of the shamelessness and shamelessness that he showed when he smiled presumptuously, and I subconsciously entered into a long wait with malicious intentions, waiting to see Liu Feng's good show: as long as he has Human nature will definitely put on a good show.In Hao Shuwen’s luxurious and empty villa in Shenzhen, I recognized myself in this way, and I also got to know us—the group of young men and women in the red building.I thought back to the autumn of 1977, during the meeting in the Red Building, I found that I wasn’t the only one who secretly waited on Liu Feng to reveal his secrets, and everyone secretly (maybe subconsciously) waited on him to show his humanity.In the summer of 1977, when the touching incident happened, everyone subconsciously breathed a sigh of relief: it happened!So it turned out that Liu Feng had the same thing!It turns out that he is nothing more than a man and a woman!The second boot about Liu Feng's human personality has finally hit the ground, and there is no suspense from now on, and we can all go back to rest in the dark safely.That's all for Liu Feng, what about Lei Feng?Disappointment and relief came so abruptly and swiftly, yet so predictably.If the touch came from another person, Zhu Ke, or Liu Jinger, Zeng Dasheng, or even Teacher Yang, Deputy Director Qiang, it would be another matter. We didn't expect much from them, and we didn't think highly of them. , they would have been with us each other.

That night, I smelled the stale smell of instant noodles from Hao Shuwen's house.So rich and luxurious, but the hostess eats instant noodles every day.Negative or sloppy?unknown. Xiao Hao was silent, and I looked around to see where to hang a picture.I can't find a place, because although it is an empty wall, there are pieces of soft packaging on the wall, and the front face can be changed at any time to become a karaoke bar.The aesthetic taste of the military bum, and his dream of luxury... Once it is discovered that the hero will also fall into the well, the person who throws the stone is extra brave, and the crowd will be extraordinarily crowded.We can't be tall, we have to rely on a person who has always been tall to go down to get higher, and we have to borrow each other's courage to appreciate our height.Why did you do that to Liu Feng?Our group of poor people, in their teens and twenties, all lack the housekeeping skills of being a human being. Only when we integrate into a group and use each other's courage to persecute a person, do we feel a little stronger individually. At that time, I did not participate in the persecution because I was absent-minded.In October 1977, many major events and new events took place outside the Red Building. The university recruited students, taught English privately, and the first batch of overseas students quietly left. Bragi appeared on the street. My vision of love has long been Across the Red House, far away... Hao Shuwen sighed softly: "Seeing his prosthetic limb has a hole, I feel very blocked. I can't figure out how to make that hole. He burned it with a cigarette end himself? Or someone else? Is it his? Girlfriend Xiaohui?... You know, on the day I invited him to dinner, I arrived early and saw him riding a bicycle from a long distance, with one hand holding the handlebar and the artificial hand in his trouser pocket. I rode over and came back, maybe because I was not sure, I would invite him to drink tea in such a luxurious place. He rode the bicycle very fast with one hand. When he was leaving, I didn’t know that I was watching him from behind ..." Her heart turned out to be soft. "You know what I wanted to say at the time? I want to say, Liu Feng, you are so stupid, you touched the wrong person. If you touched me at that time, I guarantee that I won't call for help." I was surprised, but I didn't express it. "Who asked him to touch Lin Dingding, did he touch it wrong? Otherwise, he wouldn't have been dealt with to the company. He wouldn't have lost a hand either. That fake hand is terrible. It's a... cheap feeling, and you still use it It's old and worn out. You don't know, so many people have touched me, why can't it be Liu Feng? Compared with them, Liu Feng's character is at least much better." What is the use of character?What is a good person?The part of us women who are lovers is blind to the "nice guys."Hao Shuwen is the best example. She gives sympathy, kindness, and even admiration to good people. Even if she touches them, she can occasionally think about it and be generous to good people. But passionate love marriage still shuts good people out. In 2000, an acquaintance asked me to go to Haikou to help him with errands and stayed there for three days.The acquaintance is from Guangxi, and what trouble was caused by the development of real estate in Haikou, he went to the United States to avoid disaster.The acquaintance may be a profiteer, and he may have a record, but he is not a bad person, especially in the United States, he used his own money from which he did not know where to sponsor many poor artists and filmmakers, so between the two, he and I So we had a little chat.The acquaintance's younger brother is a local snake in Hainan, a retired soldier who spent his military service in Lao Shanmao'er Cave, so we are not strangers when we meet.He entertained me for a visit to Haikou.No matter where I travel, I somehow always think that this is the place where Liu Feng and his little Hui girl lived, so my imagination took off.It was October, as soon as the sunset was over, the sky was fine and the moon was fine, I came to the area where there are many hair salons mentioned by Hao Shuwen.The hair salon has long passed its heyday, with some stiff fronts, and even the pink lights are dirty.But there are still some curvy shadows under the street lamps, like wisps of fragrance souls.As soon as a car came, they slowed down or stopped to wait for the green light, they would go up to ask for directions, or strike up a conversation, saying that they thought it was someone's car, and they misread it, so I'm sorry.I found a small restaurant on a street where hair salons used to be prosperous, and I asked the boss about Liu Feng, but the boss said he didn't know him.The boss has been in Haikou for fifteen years and drove a taxi for six years, so I asked him if he knew Xiaohui. He thought about it and asked, is it a Sichuan girl named Hui Yaling?I said that I only knew her name was Xiaohui and her surname was Hui.That is Hui Yaling, Hui is not a common surname, and I only met this one when I came to Haikou from Henan, the boss of Henan said.I heard from Xiaohui's sisters that Xiaohui used to have a one-armed boss who took care of her and retired from the hair salon.I also heard that the one-armed boss is old and doesn't make much money, but he is a gentleman who deals in books and newspapers.I think that Liu Feng is right.Poor Liu Feng is also called the boss, and the three-wheeled car he drove was confiscated by the city management and he couldn't pay to redeem it.and after?I asked Henan people.Later, the one-armed boss went bankrupt, Hui Yaling got some money from the boss, made a big nose, big double eyelids, became an upgraded version, and did business as guests of five-star hotels.I suddenly realized that Liu Feng borrowed 10,000 yuan from Hao Shuwen not to redeem the car, but to redeem himself; he gave the 10,000 yuan to Hui Yaling, and then left Xiaohui's side and left the seaside fishing village.Liu Feng repaid the 10,000 yuan in ten years, so Xiaohui's high nose bridge and double eyelids were equivalent to a mortgage at Hao Shuwen's small bank.The boss in Henan said that Xiaohui later saved a sum of money, bought a house in the town of her hometown in Sichuan, and became a single mother.She went back to Haikou once two years ago and took a six-year-old girl with her.Hui Yaling said that she wanted her daughter to play the piano, go to aristocratic schools, and grow up to be a completely different woman from Hui Yaling.It seems that Hao Shuwen has inadvertently made a lot of profits through Liu Feng's investment in the beauty, the mortgaged high nose bridge and double eyelids, as well as the house, daughter, and the future female "noble" who plays the piano. Coming out of the diner, close to midnight.Xiaohui has big ambitions and wants her daughter to be a completely different woman from Xiaohui.Liu Feng once had the ambition to ask Xiaohui to be a completely different Xiaohui.Liu Feng forced prostitutes to become good, but he gave up halfway. It was the evil money that made Xiaohui become good.But it was Liu Feng who sowed the seeds of goodness to Xiaohui's young and ignorant heart. How strange Haikou seems to me at the moment.Liu Feng's comrade-in-arms recruited the honest Liu Feng to this strange place. How was the two or three years between him and Xiao Hui?How did it start? One night, Liu Feng caught a glimpse of Xiaohui standing under a street lamp, wearing a crumpled dress.Xiaohui recognized the three-wheeled car and called out "Brother Liu".Liu Feng turned the steering wheel a few times with one hand, and the three-wheeled car suddenly turned around and returned to Xiaohui's side.Xiaohui's lower eyelids are drawn with two thick black eyeliners, so she looks like she is rolling her eyes at everyone.Twenty-one-year-old Xiaohui is not good-looking, and she uses makeup to cover up her rare youthful radiance.It has been five years since Xiaohui came to Hainan. Liu Feng gave books to the book booth near the hair salon where she works. She often saw Xiaohui squatting on the curb to brush her teeth in the afternoon, and she called him "Brother Liu" just like that.Later, Xiao Hui did it alone, unwilling to let the owner of the hair salon enjoy the benefits for nothing. Liu Feng accidentally saw her under the streetlight at the entrance of the Sanliu Hotel.He told her from the car, it's going to rain, let's get off work.Xiaohui came up to welcome her, and said with a smile that she hadn't done a business yet.Liu Feng looked at her, still doing business, the rain was coming.He looked at her dress, probably picked it up from someone else, the hip-covering skirt was so short that it was shameless and life-threatening, the buttons on the chest were all missing, and there was a big pin inside, making her look like a hunchback.A Crown car came and stopped at the intersection of traffic lights, and Xiaohui rushed up to "ask for directions" or "take a ride".Liu Feng saw that her black stocking was scratched, and pulled out a ladder from her thigh to her ankle.A cigarette butt was thrown from the car, and Xiao Hui stepped aside.Crown roared and flew out, Xiaohui turned around and said, Brother Liu, Xiaoyan borrowed your magazine last time.Liu Feng felt sorry for Xiaohui, "asking the way" almost got a cigarette butt, the girl's family lost face at all, and she had to pretend not to care with Brother Liu, and suddenly talked about magazines.For some reason, Liu Feng thought of Lin Dingding, who was also in her early twenties, Ding Ding was dressed in a neat woolen military uniform, and she was a solo female soldier.Liu Feng said to Xiaohui, the magazine is old anyway, you should pass it on, at least know a few words more.Liu Feng was about to leave, Xiaohui asked again, did you bring cigarettes, Brother Liu?I don't smoke.He took out two 100-yuan bills and handed them to Xiaohui: "It's going to rain heavily, so where will there be business?"Let's go back.Said that the other person has entered the cockpit like a snail shell. After Liu Feng's car drove two blocks away, heavy rain and lightning came across.He turned around again, feeling grotesquely worried; he was worried that the two thick black eyeliners under Xiaohui's eyelids would be blackened by the rain, and that if he "hitched" again, he would be beaten like a ghost.He went back under the streetlight where Xiaohui was standing guard, but Xiaohui was gone.He drove the car and searched in several nearby streets and alleys, and found Xiaohui standing barefoot in the door opening of a small supermarket, her eyeliner melted into black tears, among ghosts and people, with a shoe in one hand and a hand in the other. Holding a heel, the three-inch heel was knocked off the old root of the banyan tree.After getting in the car, Liu Feng asked her where she lived and if it was far away.Xiaohui said that she would spend the night at Brother Liu's house tonight, and her husband who shared the same room came from Sichuan.Liu Feng was speechless, his heart was soft and disgusting, such a poor thing.Even if it's a little wild cat, you should give it a place to hide from the rain, right? Liu Feng let Xiaohui live in his bedroom, and slept on the closed balcony by himself, sleeping all night with the pirated versions of "Body Art" and "Sexual Poems" that could not be sold.In the morning, Liu Feng went to work, and left Xiaohui who was still sleeping four hundred yuan and a note. A few words on the note said that the "Kou Yuan Nail Art Training Class" opened in the community was recruiting people, and the tuition fee was three hundred yuan. , the remaining one hundred yuan is enough for her to pay half a month's rent for the basement, and there are people in the community who rent this kind of basement for a short period of time. Xiaohui didn't spend the money on apprenticeships.People and money are gone.Liu Feng turned his head and forgot that there was such a rainy night, the only trace of Xiaohui's geese passing by was the pair of black long silk stockings.Stockings left in the corner of the toilet in his tiny one-bedroom apartment.He lifted it up with two fingers, and the two strong and thick legs of the farmer's daughter were still inside, like the transparent and broken black membrane that had faded from the legs, and the line was from the buttocks to the heels.Like a snake's skin, he slid it into the trash can. When Liu Feng saw Xiaohui again, both of them lost their clear and simple attitude earlier, and no one paid attention to the other. It was four months before I had close contact with Xiaohui again.Liu Feng's old comrade-in-arms ran a dog farm with others to train and train famous dogs.Public security in Hainan is a problem. It is said that a purebred German Shepherd can be sold for 200,000 yuan.The comrade-in-arms gave all the book sales business to Liu Feng.After taking over the business, Liu Feng found that his comrade-in-arms was short-lived to the point of bankruptcy.After paying off the debts, Liu Feng couldn't afford to live in the original one-bedroom apartment, so he moved to an office building, combining work and residence.The office building was rented out before closing down.There are windows but no doors, and there are doors but no doors.Later, the tenants found out that the building would never receive work, because the developer was in a lawsuit with the local villagers over the land property rights, and this kind of building was famously called an unfinished building.One afternoon in February, also on a rainy day, Liu Feng came home and found a wire stretched out in the corridor outside the door, with wet clothes on it, and a girl squatting under the wire, washing sheets in a large plastic basin.The clothes and sheets were all placed by Liu Feng at the door before going out.Liu Feng approached, and the woman turned her head, but he almost didn't recognize her, because the usual thick black eyeliner was gone under those two eyes.Xiaohui turned her head and smiled, and said "drop in" to see Big Brother Liu. Xiaohui also seemed to have picked up or borrowed other people's clothes this day, a black suit that was neither male nor female, at least three sizes too big, with a denim suspender skirt inside, a big doll embroidered on the chest, and her round calves looked like It was passed down to her by eight generations of her ancestors who traveled mountains and mountains, and when she got excited, two iron eggs came out.Xiaohui has good hair, which can be placed on the heads of female college students, female office workers, and female celebrities, and she will get points for any style she combs.During the day, Xiaohui basically looks like a human, not a ghost. This time Xiaohui listened to Brother Liu's words and signed up at the "Kouyuan Nail Art Training Class". Those apprentices who pass the course and are willing to stay in the "Kouyuan" nail beauty chain store will be exempt from the registration fee of 300 yuan. This is how Liu Feng and Xiao Hui started their small life.Liu Feng taught Xiaohui how to cook simple meals, let her learn how to sleep at night and get up in the morning, let her start reading newspapers and stop painting eyeliner, and let her talk less with "old lady".Xiaohui, who was in the nail art class for a week, was about to drop out of school. She said that the free customers who asked her to practice had several Hong Kong feet, and she was afraid that the beriberi would spread to her hands.Liu Feng sympathized and agreed with Xiaohui to change her report to "Crash Course in Flowers".This class is elegant, and you can apply for a job in a five-star hotel after graduation. The hotel changes the flower pattern every day.It was another week, and Xiaohui's dilemma was that she couldn't get out of bed.The flower study class starts early every morning. In order to save costs, students have to go to the intersection of the suburbs to buy cheap flowers from flower farmers every morning at five o'clock in the morning.Most of the students in the flower class are housewives, in their 40s and 50s, and they came with their husbands who developed Hainan. They couldn’t bring friends and relatives, so they had more money and more time.Xiaohui was isolated and lonely in class, tuition fees were expensive, flowers had to be bought every day, and she had to get up at four o'clock to buy them, and she told Liu Feng that she couldn't bear to use the money he earned to take such flashy classes, and that she noticed everything The hotel lobby is filled with fake flowers.Liu Feng asked her, when did you go to the hotel?Xiaohui quickly changed her words and said, oh, she went in the past! I imagined that the two were quarreling at this moment.Liu Feng probably couldn't say my harsh words, "a bitch for a while, a bitch for life", "born a bitch", but I guess he would say something like "a dog can't change and eat shit".Liu Feng's curse vocabulary is not very good.Since then, Liu Feng and Xiaohui have often quarreled.He couldn't bear to find Xiaohui wearing eyeliner.Once he ransacked his own home, took out the eyeliner that was hidden deep, and drew two eyeliners on Xiaohui fiercely, muttering while painting: Have you never eaten pork or seen a pig go away?When I saw other great singers putting on makeup, you were not born yet!Xiaohui looked at the mirror, giggling, and said that big brother Liu can draw so well with his left hand, let alone his right hand... After Liu Feng finished painting, he threw the eyeliner and all the cheap cosmetics out of the sixth floor. Xiaohui's cheap clothes, shoes and jewelry And throw it out, there is no window, this is an advantage, it is convenient to throw things, just tear the plastic film used as glass. When Xiaohui went up, she bit and scuffled Liu Feng.With one hand, Liu Feng really hit Xiaohui and was no match.What kind of muscle quality does our Liu Feng have?For seven or eight years, our group of female soldiers copied somersaults, and the chest muscles and arm muscles seemed to be alive after a little effort. Under his thin layer of skin, he was preparing for a surprise attack, and the three Xiaohui couldn't do anything to him.It's just that Liu Feng didn't fight back. In line with his simple creed, chickens don't fight dogs, and men don't fight women. Xiaohui cursed, went downstairs to pick up clothes and shoes, climbed up the stairs without railings, and came back.The prerequisite for the two to reconcile is that Xiaohui must not go to the hotel again.Liu Feng made a simple oath: You have a mouthful of all the vegetables I eat!Xiaohui thought to herself, the old lady came from her hometown, but she just didn't want to eat bran swallowed vegetables.Thinking of this, Xiaohui looked at the sleeping Liu Feng with contempt, and pressed the cigarette butt on his prosthetic limb. I can also imagine Liu Feng and Xiao Hui's good time.The two drove a chug-chug tricycle together to the Crater Geological Park and Baishamen Park. Liu Feng delivered books everywhere, and Xiaohui was a follower.Buying an ice cream, or a bunch of grilled seafood, Liu Feng doesn't eat it himself, but watching Xiaohui eat it, that kind of satisfaction brings a bit of sadness, thinking of his daughter who is far away, he should be satisfied only by seeing her gluttonous.The two of them had a lot of good times, including going to the fishing village to eat. The fishermen directly grilled the aquarium. The fish and shrimp that were still jumping around on the fire were so delicious that they could be used to define "happiness".After eating fishermen’s barbecue, they would go under the highway bridge. Lao Fang set up benches and folding chairs in the bridge hole every evening. The karaoke machine was connected to a disgraced TV. Truck drivers, fishermen, social idlers and Suspicious people gathered together and sang songs for one yuan.Xiaohui didn't know which song Liu Feng sang, she had never heard of it before, such as "Snow-covered fields and boundless, plateau cold cooking and no food", "Wind, don't cry, rain, don't cry"... ...Once he ordered the song "Brother Comrade, Please Drink a Cup of Tea", but Lao Fang couldn't find it, so he took a microphone and sang it a cappella, and ran out of tune to Yun Tianwai, and the truck driver shouted to stop.Xiaohui can sing even after drinking some beer. When she sang, Liu Feng just looked at her in a daze.Xiaohui wouldn't know how Liu Feng criticized her singing in his heart: pinching his throat, panting, sour plum fake vinegar, hypocrisy, cheap, really cheap, listen, what about cats?Women nowadays are called spring when they sing.For Liu Feng, if Lin Dingding didn't sing, there would be no singers in the world. He missed that Tintin who could sing and fall in love in this life; he never expected to have a relationship with this Xiaohui in this life.Liu Feng did have a good time with Xiaohui, preferably at night, on the bed. Although his heart doesn't love Xiaohui, his body loves Xiaohui's body. The body lives its own life and finds its own companion. He doesn't care about that. Method.The body loves the body, does not discriminate, and treats everyone equally; the woman's body under his body can be replaced, it can be replaced with his former wife, Xiaohui's sister Xiaoyan or Lili.And once he loves with his heart, just like he loves his Kobayashi, Kobayashi's uniqueness and non-repeatability become absolute.Lin Dingding is unique.For Ding Ding, he will love in his heart, body, and fingertips, precisely because the body touched by his fingertips is not someone else's, but Ding Ding's, and that touch is so ecstasy, so damn, so worth dying for. 我回到了北京定居之后，郝淑雯偶然打电话给我，一般在她发生喜剧悲剧的时候：股票涨了，跌了，跟老公分了，合了，再分。二流子到底不安分，赚了钱一半去赌，一半用在若干“小三儿”身上。郝淑雯跟他打了十年，落下二流子在北京的两套房，原本是为豢养小三儿置下的。她租一套住一套，不算富有，衣食无忧而已。我此刻也经历了婚姻惨败，跟父母住在一起。一天我正抱着一个大西瓜从超市出来，手机铃响了。我一手把瓜按在腰上，一手拿出手机，看到郝淑雯的名字。半年没有她的消息，我摁了一下接听键。 “告诉你个事儿，找到刘峰了。”郝淑雯说。 “哦……”太阳把停车场晒成了个巨大的饼铛，我觉得自己给煎得吱吱作响，“待会儿给你打回去……” “不行，你每次说待会儿打回来，从来不打！” 西瓜正从我的腰往胯上滑。我站成一棵歪脖子树，听她说了几句刘峰的消息。其实，那年代那些人对于我，都是上辈子的事了。刘峰由南漂改北漂，一九九八年来北京，让他开旅游公司的侄子收容了，给雇员做饭，打扫办公室，送机票车票，办公室白天办公，晚上一张折叠沙发拉开，就是刘峰的床。这就是侄子管吃管住的待遇，除此之外，一个月五百元工资，上三险，那点儿钱刘峰供老妈吃饭穿衣，供女儿上学。这都是我歪抱西瓜听郝淑雯报告的。西瓜正从胯往我大腿上滚，郝淑雯建议我们叫上刘峰，聚一聚。在北京跟一个位距自己十公里的人相聚，简直是世界上最艰难最漫长的旅行。我还是答应了下来，不然西瓜就要滚到地上了。 聚会地点是郝淑雯家。日子是星期六。进了门，我看见一座佛堂设置在玄关，墙上挂了两幅唐卡，供着一盘火龙果和一盘橙子，佛龛下一边一个大花盆，栽着两棵金橘树。刚上了香，半屋子的烟，客厅里都辣眼，郝淑雯的两居室像是一座小庙。 客厅里已经先到了一个女客。居然是林丁丁。丁丁扑过来，抱着我直跺脚，撒娇，嘴里一个劲儿地“小穗子小穗子小穗子”。我看见伏在我肩上的头烫了满满的小卷儿，小卷儿下的头颅圆圆一个瓜瓢。丁丁落发落得只剩这七十岁的发型可选择。她的脸还是相当嫩，圆眼睛还可以问“真的呀”。我问丁丁什么时候回国的，她比画着小手，告诉我她回来三四天了，每天早晨三点准时给时差闹醒，叫我看看，她眼袋都下来了！ 我跟着郝淑雯进厨房端果盘，问她是否疯了，既约了刘峰，干吗约丁丁。郝淑雯小声说，丁丁离婚了，在国外给人当了几年保姆，最后找的这份工不错，帮一个香港富豪看空房子，哪是房子，简直就是一座城堡，每层一架大三角钢琴，丁丁在里面训练爱国华人的孩子唱山歌民歌。 我们端着茶和水果刚进客厅，丁丁笑着说：“不就是说我吗？还躲厨房说！”她把脸转向我：“小穗子想知道我什么？直接问我好了！” 丁丁比过去爽快，几乎就是个泼辣女人，爱哈哈笑，嗓门儿又大又毛躁，过去珠玉般的圆润喉咙不知去了哪儿，反正有了点儿劳动人民的样子。 其实我不是一点儿不知道林丁丁的国外生活。她嫁的那个开快餐店的潮州人让她吃了三年的鸡翅尖（因为快餐的炸鸡翅不能连带翅尖），也让她包了三年馄饨和春卷（十个手指头都皴裂了），还让她看了三年他在豆芽鸡蛋炒米饭里加酱油（这是丁丁最看不下去的事儿，上海人哪儿受得了倒酱油的黑色蛋炒饭）。最后丁丁吃够了看够了，老板娘不要做了，逃跑出来，她就读的成人学校老师为她做主离婚，把离婚协议书送到潮州人的连锁快餐店。 凉菜上桌时，来了电话。郝淑雯一听就乐，对着电话说：“告诉刘峰，别为那一千块钱躲着不见面呀！”放下电话她解释，刘峰过去跟她借过一万块钱，用了十来年还上了九千。电话是他侄子打来请假的，说刘峰感冒，今天不来了。 “谁让你告诉刘峰我来了呢？”丁丁不在乎地笑笑，“刘眼镜儿的话，吃屎的把屙屎的还麻到了！”刘眼镜儿是我们的首席中提琴手。丁丁学说他多年前刻薄郝淑雯的话，表示过去是她惹的事儿，该是她躲他的。过去林丁丁一句四川话不肯说，现在泼辣起来，四川脏话都说。说完她自己大笑，真是劳动人民了。 “丁丁，你过去是这性格吗？”郝淑雯狐疑地看着她。 “我过去不这样吗？”丁丁反问，又笑得嘎嘎响。放下了做首长儿媳的包袱，也破碎了做歌唱家的梦，这就是解放了的丁丁。 郝淑雯炒菜，我当二厨，她借助叮叮当当的锅铲对我说：“估计现在刘峰摸她，她不会叫救命的。” 我笑得很坏。刘峰摸她的那只手算他局部地为国捐躯了。 郝淑雯读懂了我的不良意识，补充一句：“现在让他用那只假手摸，估计人家也不干了。” “信佛的人都你这么刻薄？”我说。 丁丁在客厅里叫喊：“又说我什么呢？” 这回是我和郝淑雯笑得嘎嘎响。不快乐的人，都懂得我们这样的笑。放下了包袱，破碎了梦想，就是那种笑。笑我们曾经认真过的所有事儿。前头没有值得期盼的好事，身后也没有留下值得自豪的以往，就是无价值的流年，也所剩不多，明明破罐子，也破摔不起，摔了连破的都没了，那种笑。就是热诚情愿邀请人家摸，也没人摸了，既然最终没人摸，当时吝啬什么？反正最终要残剩，最终是狗剩儿，当时神圣什么？对，就那种笑。 笑过，我们把那餐饭吃了一整夜，喝了两箱啤酒，男光棍没来，三个女光棍撒开了耍。喝到凌晨一点，郝淑雯拍拍林丁丁的肩膀说，绕了一圈，最不该落单的丁丁也落了单，现在刘峰现成的单身，再找回去也不晚。林丁丁皱眉笑起来。郝淑雯说，怎么了？刘峰至少是个好人，好人现在最是稀有。我说，是稀有：这年头说谁是好人，跟骂人一样。丁丁说，有谁比我丁丁更知道刘峰是好人的？ 自从在王府井大街上见了刘峰，我不知怎么就怀旧起来。刘峰的手机一直关机，我找到了刘峰侄子的公司。公司现在转行做安全监视软件，办公室在北京的最北面铺张了整整一层楼。那位侄子告诉我，刘峰不上班了，身体不好，在家歇着。什么病，侄子也说不清楚，反正上了年纪，就是不得病，也该退休了。侄子还在忙的年龄，对退休人员的生活方式是生疏的，也顾不得多管。他只说叔叔在家歇息有一年多了。就是说，刘峰有家了。家里有谁呢？据我所知，刘峰的女儿从山东一所师范学院毕了业，现在倒是自立了。老母亲早已去世，那在家里刘峰是形影相吊？还生着病？谈开了我发现侄子还是很健谈的，他说给叔叔介绍过几个女人，都是山东老家来北京找工打的，叔叔都婉拒，让侄子别操心，就是有女人，也是他照料伺候女方。终于一天，刘峰请侄子到家里做客，侄子这才死了给他找女人的那份心：叔叔有个女人，还是挺好看的一个女人；年纪不轻了，不过还真不难看！不爱说话，嘿，不说话的女人，本来就是三分美，侄子很兴奋地告诉我。从刘峰侄子的公司出来，我给郝淑雯打电话，八卦刘峰的老来艳福。郝淑雯现在大部分日子是听这大师那高人讲经论道，好像对此世她已撒手，重在修来世了，听了我的八卦，她那颗世俗心马上又活了，叫我跟她一块儿去堵刘峰的被窝儿，看看他六十多岁一只手被窝儿里还能捂个什么挺好看的女人。我们俩人一核对地址，发现她得到的刘峰住址跟那位侄子给我的不同。我们觉得好玩儿，老了，刘峰倒越来越神秘。 我们按照侄子给的地址，找到机场辅路外的一片民房，刘峰刚出门。邻居都是能干活络的打工仔打工妹，够本事做了北京的移民，他们的儿女们都从老家接来了，泥土铺的院子里随处可见孩子们的大小便。 刘峰的家门上了锁，从窗帘缝看，他的住处还像个当兵的，没几样东西，每样东西都是绝对必须，收拾得一尘不染一丝不苟。没有一点儿女人的痕迹啊。 看我们俩在刘峰窗口窥视，刘峰的一个女邻居从露天锅台边用安徽北京话大喝：“你们找谁？！……老刘不在家！” 郝淑雯说，老刘不在，就找老刘的老婆。 邻居回答，老刘没老婆。 这年头，女朋友，老婆都一回事儿。这是我说的。 邻居问：“你们找哪个老刘？这个老刘就单身一人！” 我们傻了，刘峰神秘得离了谱儿。郝淑雯说，不可能，老刘是我们的老战友，我们知道他有女朋友。女邻居懒得理我们，埋下头切菜。 我们正要离开，一个四十多岁的男民工从路口回来，牵了两条德国黑背，种还挺纯。男民工穿一身迷彩服，大概给附近别墅的某家富豪当私人保安。女邻居对我们说，这个是老唐，是这里的最老的住户，住了五年了，你们问老唐，老刘有女人没有。 老唐说，看是看见过一个女人的，老刘生病的时候来的。我们这才想起来，赶紧问刘峰生的是什么病。好像是肠癌。我跟郝淑雯堵被窝儿心情马上没了。刘峰是那种躲起来病，躲起来痛，最后也躲起来死的人，健康的时候随你麻烦他，没了健康他绝不麻烦你。郝淑雯问：那女的什么样子？老唐说，女的个头不高，瘦瘦小小，看着不显岁数，不过肯定不年轻了。 我们问老唐，刘峰什么时候回来，老唐说没一定的，化疗的时候，他就住在城里，离医院近些。我和郝淑雯对看一眼，这就是为什么刘峰有两个住址。 我把车开出去五六公里了，郝淑雯都没吭一声。还是我先开口，说天快黑了，就近找个地方吃饭，顺便把堵车高峰避过去。她说不饿。我告诉她，在王府井见到的刘峰，不像生大病，还挺精神的。我这是安慰我们两个人。其实我后悔，那次没有及时招呼他。郝淑雯叹了一声说，好人，都没好报。我笑笑，以为她那一声长叹之后会多深刻呢。 我把车停在一家酒店门口，跟郝淑雯没商量地说，随便吃点儿什么把堵车时间混过去。酒店的餐厅人很少，钢琴假模假样地漫弹，雅致豪华反正吃不到嘴里，只让你对极宰人的一餐饭认账。 我们点了两个菜，都是凉的，一荤一素，服务员还站着等我往下点，我却合上了菜单，说不够再点。服务员眼睛一瞪，转身走了。我跟郝淑雯笑笑，随他瞪眼，我们都活到了不装面子的境界了。吃了两口金瓜海蜇丝，郝淑雯胃口开了，叫了一扎啤酒。啤酒下去大半的时候，她说：我们当时怎么那么爱背叛别人？怎么不觉得背叛无耻，反而觉得正义？我问她又想起什么来了。她说：我们每个人都背叛了刘峰，不是吗？你萧穗子不也在批判他的大会上发言了？我说我当然没发言。 “你没发言？！”郝淑雯眼白发红，“我怎么记得每个人都发言了？” “我不一样，我也是被所有人批判过的人。批判刘峰资格不够。”我借戏言说真理。 “我记得你发言了！” “什么狗记性！” “我就记得何小嫚没发言。” 我不说话了。过了一会儿，她又要了一扎啤酒。不装面子，样子也不要了。 “我怎么记得……”她咕哝。 “你再喝点儿，就记得更多了。”我笑着说。 第二扎啤酒冒着泡泡。她的嘴边也冒着泡泡。 “我背叛你的时候，真觉着满腔正义！” 她是怎么背叛我的？I look at her. "Didn't I tell you?" 她可从来没跟我说过。 “我把你写给少俊的情书交给领导的时候，感觉好着呢！就像少先队员活捉了偷公社庄稼的地主！我把这事告诉你的时候，你当时肯定恨死我了吧？” 我掩饰着吃惊。 “是你那次来深圳我跟你坦白的，对吧？没错，就是咱俩在我家那次。当时我家就咱俩。” 四十年来，这是告密者第一次向我自我解密。啤酒真神，不仅能让人忘掉发生过的，还让人记得从未发生的。我还是看着她，是拿了一手好牌什么点数都不让她看出来的扑克脸。 “我跟谁都没说过，只跟你一个人说过。你配听我告发自己，别人不配。别人也不懂，懂了也不会谅解。我那次告诉你，就知道你会理解，会原谅我。你还真原谅了我。那时我看到全体人背叛你的时候，你有多惨。后来林丁丁要出卖刘峰，我要她保证，绝不出卖，结果她还是出卖了。我们都出卖了。你说你没有出卖，不可能，我不会记错的。” 等她被啤酒撑大了肚子的时候，她的自我解密进一步深入。四十年前，她怀疑我跟少俊关系特殊，就开始勾引少俊。“嘿，那时候就发现，男人真不经勾引！”就是那个长得像大姑娘一样漂亮的少俊，一对飞飞的眼角，长睫毛打扇子似的，嘟嘟的嘴唇，化妆时还比其他男兵涂的口红要艳，我怎么会给这种人写了上百封情书？现在想起，我只想吐。 “怎么会勾引那么个男人？”郝淑雯耸起肩，摊开两手，也觉得自己是个谜。“勾引他就为了搞清你；你不知道，当时我们都觉得你是个小怪胎，诗人、电影编剧的女儿，诗人本身就是怪胎！”她又笑得嘎嘎嘎的。 我以为有何小嫚，怪胎的角色就轮不上我了。 少俊的漂亮跟他的浅薄都像女人，俗气也像女人。俗来自民间，民间就是接地气，所以俗气代表着生命力，不俗的人往往魂比肉体活跃，等于半死的。我根据郝淑雯正叙述的那个少俊写下他们短暂俗气充满生命力的情史。他们当时都是排级干部，可以公开谈恋爱，但偷情味道更好，偷得那个情胆包天、无法无天哟！那时恰好少俊的同屋回重庆探亲二十天，他们每一夜都不放过，睡眠都戒掉了。少俊的房间在二楼走廊最尽头，好一个大胆的郝淑雯，不仅得蹑手蹑脚爬上嘎吱作响的朽木楼梯，还得走过整条哼唧不断的蚁蛀走廊，再推开吱扭如胡琴独奏的老木门。红楼的大房间隔成小房间，隔得不规整，加上楼的慢性颓塌，门和框都轻微歪扭倾斜，因此开门关门都冒小调。走廊一边十个门，每个门里都可能出来一个起夜的男兵，太勇敢了，我们的女分队长！他们在蚊帐里相拥而卧，蚊帐里就是他们的伊甸园，一对最漂亮的雌体和雄体，军版亚当夏娃…… 郝淑雯分析，当时她冒那样的危险，还出于一种竞争心理。看看萧穗子一个十五岁的不打眼的小兵疙瘩，能让一个漂亮成熟的少俊陪着她玩儿情书暗投，一玩儿半年，小怪胎到底有什么魔力？让张嘴就是错别字，一封家书翻几十次字典的少俊天天动笔？少俊容易吗？一共没念过几本书，每天要搜肠刮肚地想出词儿来谈纸上恋爱，男女间能有那么多字儿写？不就是一拉手一拥抱一亲嘴儿，下文自然就有了吗？少俊二十二岁，陪着小兵疙瘩费劲，看看我郝淑雯几下能把事儿搞定。果然，手一拉就搞定了。二十一世纪的郝淑雯一个劲儿问：“你真不恨我？” 郝淑雯美丽的胴体进了蚊帐，少俊一定想，这半年跟那小丫头费的劲真够冤的，上了小丫头的当了，这么简单具体的事儿，让那些纸和字儿弄得那么玄！那么曲折！ 郝淑雯推开高高的啤酒杯，为了让我把她诚恳的脸看清楚。就那样，她轻而易举地让少俊交出了我所有的情书。又过了几个蚊帐之夜，她轻而易举地说服了少俊，跟她一块儿主动把我的情书上交给团领导。“那时候做王八蛋，觉得比正经人还正经。”她眯上眼，有点儿色眯眯的，“现在要我说什么是好人，我会说，不出卖人的人，是好人。知道我最后一夜从少俊那儿出来碰到谁了吗？刘峰。” 刘峰正好上楼，郝淑雯下楼，足尖碎步，比贼还贼，手里还提着她的黑色平绒布鞋，一眼就能看出她刚干了什么。可刘峰比她还不好意思，居然一句话没说，就跟她擦肩而过。回到宿舍，她一夜没睡，心里只有两个字“完了”。第二天刘峰在毯子功之后跟她谈话，说身为老兵，党员，半夜上二楼会影响不好。二楼是男兵宿舍，人家会怎么想？这么多十几岁的男娃女娃，一个像小郝这样的党员干部要带好头。 这话我信，典型的刘峰思想工作语言。 郝淑雯告诉我，也是从少俊对我的态度上，她厌恶了他，什么人格？虽是纸上恋爱，可也不无真情投入，说出卖就卖得那么干净。他主动坦白有功，揭发我更体现了浪子回头金不换，所以基本被领导无罪释放。“有其父必有其女”，“根不正苗自黑”，“用资产阶级情调引诱和腐蚀同志加战友”，揭发我时，他把他在写情书时期长进的那点儿文化都用上了。一个二十二岁的男性“同志加战友”，好好的就成了一个十五岁小女兵的受害者，郝淑雯说，她正是从他的倒戈看到他的无耻和残忍，彻底对他寒了心。此刻，她被啤酒调动出一种幽远的哀伤来，问我：真爱过的，无论是肉体爱的，还是心灵爱的，都不能说糟蹋就这么彻底糟蹋，对吧？你说这种男人还能要吗？ 啤酒真好，给了她说梦一般的意境。 郝淑雯接着说梦话：“少俊为了我背叛你小穗子，也会为了别人背叛我。那几天，我看他揭发得那么起劲，就像看着一个鬼慢慢脱下人皮一样。”她突醒来，睁大眼睛看着我：“想知道一个秘密吗？” 我说当然想。 “哼，少俊，也就是个男花瓶，那些年流行出国，他自己没本事出去，嫁了个奇丑的女博士，跟到美国当陪读去了。知道我当时怎么蹬掉他的吗——那男花瓶？我让我爸帮忙，把他调到他老战友的师里。我爸老说，好男不上戏台，好男得吃千般苦，所以他老战友先把少俊调到连队吃苦，再看能把他往哪儿提拔。我跟我爸说，这个男朋友我可是认真的；我爸我妈都知道让我认真难着呢。一听说我认真，我爸让那小子吃苦去了。”她笑着，脸大红，眼白粉红，但眼神挺忧伤的，想到年轻时她自己那么一大把本钱，却做了败家子，输在二流子手里。“少俊调到我父亲战友的独立师里，我还跟他通了几封信，没过年就吹了。我年轻的时候，厉害吧？对厌了的男人，绝对无情，手段卑鄙着呢！”她又破口大笑，钢琴声都给她吓跑了调，一个高雅幽静的环境全没了。 吃完饭，时间还不晚，反正我俩的家里都没人等着，就索性去找刘峰。 刘峰的这个住处还不错，八十年代末建的单位宿舍楼。就是那种家家封阳台，式样材质各式各样，阳台外搭花架，走廊里停自行车，路灯没人修，电梯有人开，人不串门饭菜气味串门的中低等城市平民住处，等于把大杂院叠摞起来，摞成十六层。一层楼六家。我们按照地址上的门牌号敲了敲门，没人应，郝淑雯扯起被啤酒扩音的嗓子叫喊：“刘峰！……刘峰你在还是不在？” 门没开，电梯的门却在我们身后开了。开电梯的妇女说这层没有姓刘的。毫不例外，这种宿舍楼开电梯的都是半个包打听。我们请教她，那么这户主人贵姓，回答说“姓沈，一女的，五十来岁儿，显年轻”。 我们的悟性被点燃，姓沈的一定是刘峰的女朋友。就是说，刘峰凡是在城里化疗，就住到女朋友家。 电梯女驾驶说：“沈老师陪那个男的去医院住了，得住几天呢。” "Which hospital?" "It's not clear." 线索就在这里断了。住医院了？我和郝淑雯对视，此消息可不好，证明病重了。