Chapter 6 Chapter Six

This surprised Liu Feng.In fact, the organization's approval of Lin Dingding's application for regularization is not as natural as Ding Ding thought.In those days, in our group, business excellence did not add points to political progress, and often subtracted points.It doesn't matter if you can't do your duty well. Dancing in a group and singing a chorus to fill up the number will not affect your joining the party. As long as you are busy enough to do things outside your duty, sweep the yard, feed the pigs, flush the toilet, or "Secretly" wash other people's clothes, "secretly" send money to other people's poor hometowns, and do all these extra-duty things, don't worry, you will appear in the field of vision of the organization, in that field of vision It gets closer and closer, and finally becomes a close-up, frozen frame.Ding Ding came into the organization's field of vision not because of her unique singing voice and her seriousness in her singing voice. She took vocal music lessons every day in order to constantly improve her singing voice, but because she was born with a three-point disease, and she didn't want to do anything while she was alive. It is already "slightly injured and can't go to the line of fire".Either she had a stomachache or allergies, or she had a low-grade fever for no reason. Her feet also grew well, and they were covered with blood blisters when she walked.We marched thousands of miles at night in a hurry and came down with bare feet, and she could have more than ten blood blisters on one foot.I will never forget the disappointment of the female soldiers when they took off their shoes after marching—how could they have such disappointing soles, and they marched one step less than Lin Dingding, but they couldn't make a single blister!Lin Dingding's feet were held in the lap of the hygienist in full view, and they were pierced needle by needle until the blood flowed horizontally. More than a dozen blood blisters were tied with hair for drainage. They were like a pair of human flesh cactus.At this time, Ding Ding always waved soft hands to the people: "Don't look at me, don't look at me!" The crowd surrounded them, especially the male soldiers, who still breathed in his mouth from time to time, as if Ding Ding had already partially sacrificed. Yes, partly made martyrs, they mourn partly Tintin.

Later we learned that Liu Feng still did some work for Tintin to become a regular.Some party members said that she pursued personal success too much. Liu Feng retorted that universities have started to recruit students, and some people have applied for master's and doctoral exams. In this closed dance workshop, Liu Feng told Ding Ding that she had joined the party, and he was relieved from then on.Ding Ding looked at him strangely.Why don't you worry? Where does "rest assured" come from? "I've been waiting for you. I just want to wait until you join the party before I mention it to you. I'm afraid it will affect your progress."

Liu Feng confessed honestly, his eyes lit up with a layer of water.His tears were because he thought of his years of waiting; only he knew how bitter the waiting was.Liu Feng had already said enough, but Ding Ding was still confused and asked him: "Wait for me? What are you waiting for me?" "Just wait like we are now." "What's the matter?" Ding Ding turned his face. Liu Feng thinks that Ding Ding is so cute at the moment, so innocent, she is really "cute" in the current words. "Little Lin, I have always liked you." Xiao Lin is what Liu Feng always called Tin Ding. Young party cadres talk to the masses, and they are called in the revolutionary ranks.

When Lin Dingding heard this sentence, she was still lucky. There were many people who liked her, mostly men and women. When she went to the military service agency in the military region to buy toothpaste, she would meet a few middle school students and tell her that they liked her and loved her. s song. Liu Feng took a wrong step and sat on the armrest of that huge sofa.Here's what he's got ready for the next step: reaching out to wrap his arms around his little Lin.But the moment he sat down, Ding Ding jumped up and looked at him in shock: "What are you going to do?!" Liu Feng suddenly became confused.He then stood up, took a step, and threw Ding Ding into his arms.

Ding Ding's struggle was very slight, but the man knew that a good woman would half push and half give in at this moment. Liu Feng said the wrong thing at this time.He said: "I have always loved you." Then he muttered, Ding Ding could roughly hear him, he meant that he had been waiting for her for so many years, waiting for her to be promoted, waiting for her to join the party. Lin Dingding suddenly struggled violently and cried "Wow".If the crying that kicked out the toilet paper was injustice and debt, whoever ruined her perfect purity, this time she is injustice and debt.Liu Feng hugged the crying woman, completely confused, not knowing what was going on and what was the nature of the matter.He couldn't even remember taking out the messy handkerchief, so he slapped Ding Ding to wipe his tears.According to Ding Ding's description of us later, my imagination couldn't keep up: what a ridiculous scene that would be!Liu Feng hugged Lin Dingding tightly with one hand, for fear that she would run away, and with the other hand, he wiped his beloved Xiao Lin's tears with his eyebrows and beard.While wiping it on, I secretly marveled at the Shanghai woman's hand feeling!It's so tender, it's like a boiled duck egg that has just been shelled, and the egg whites haven't been fully cooked yet firm... The face is just like this, but the other parts are still okay?The hand came from her face to the back of her neck with soft lanugo...it was all Xia Tian's fault, the clothes were thin, Liu Feng's hand simply started to attack from under Tintin's shirt.

Liu Feng continued to say the wrong thing: "Xiao Lin, I am sincere to you, I love you..." Lin Dingding suddenly yelled, "Help!" It was as if Liu Feng had been hit with a club, and he went into shock for half a second.Ding Ding ran out of the dance workshop at that moment.Run out, still crying.Then there was another absurd plot, Ding Ding who ran out of the door suddenly turned back and hooked the door with his foot, as if to close the door for Liu Feng.After hooking twice, the door still couldn't be closed, and I only heard a voice inside saying: "Don't worry about it, you can go." The voice was hoarse and weak, as if it came from a life that was dying.

Later we asked Ding Ding why she used her foot to close the door.She said that she couldn't use her hands, and she would see Liu Feng with her hands: she didn't want to see Liu Feng again.But why do you want to close the door for him, isn't it over if you run away?She stared blankly, shook her head, and shook her head again.I think she's terrified, and wants to keep a fright and the person who caused the fright shut in that door forever.Just when she insisted on closing the door for Liu Feng with her feet, Teacher Wang's son ran over.He was the only one who vaguely heard Tintin calling for help.This is a sixteen-year-old boy who is learning piano from the band's pianist. He has just finished piano lessons and is walking to the future volleyball court.What the boy lacks is an older sister. He has always regarded Lin Dingding, his father's favorite student, as his own older sister.He followed the cries for help from the volleyball court, and bumped into Ding Ding who came tearfully from the dance storeroom. He asked his sister what was wrong, and Ding Ding could explain something to such a hairy kid, and then burst into tears.The boy watched Ding Ding disappear at the door of the corridor of the red building, turned around, and felt that he had the ability to solve the suspense.He quickly came to the door of the only warehouse with lights on, pushed open the half-covered door, and saw Liu Feng unraveling the stretched fabric on a sofa, it didn't look like he asked Ding Ding to call for help.So he went home with even heavier suspense.When he got home, he told his parents, "My sister is crying!"

For Teacher Wang, it is normal for Lin Dingding to cry.If she misses a note or forgets a word on stage, she will cry bitterly with the teacher.On the contrary, the teacher's wife felt that her son's suspicious face was so strange, and asked why Ding Ding was crying. The son said he didn't know, but he seemed to hear her yelling "Help me". Ding Ding returned to the dormitory, and Xiao Hao and I just took a shower.The lights had already been turned off, and we were wiping the mat with warm water from the bath in the dark. When I heard that her breathing was not right, I turned on the light, and what I saw was Lin Dingding, who had just been raped.Hao Shuwen also saw that the matter was serious, and asked Ding Ding why he behaved like this.

Ding Ding fell headfirst on her own bed and burst into tears. The people next door and across the door were all woken up by her crying.There was an increasingly blunt knock on our door: "Lin Dingding, what are you doing in the middle of the night?!" We had to turn off the lights.In our barracks, the lights-out call in the summer of 1977, like all other calls, is hardly taken seriously. Ding Ding covered his head with a towel blanket.The crying became quieter, but the whole floor was choked up with her, trembling.After waiting for half an hour, she got out from under the towel blanket.Xiao Hao unscrewed her little desk lamp, our dicks are all out of shape, tears can make a face look so ugly!After asking more than 20 times, Ding Ding finally burst out: "...How dare you?!..."

We ask dare what. Ding Ding said: "How dare he?!..." We asked, who is this him? "How dare he love me!" After a few more questions, she finally revealed the "who".Hao Shuwen and I have long suspected that Liu Feng loves her, so many cookies are not enough to prove this suspicion?When we heard Liu Feng's name, we all laughed and said jokingly: "Ding Ding, you are too fucking picky, if you can be loved by doctors and officers, you should be loved by men from all walks of life!"Why can't Liu Feng fall in love?Maybe people can only do good deeds to you and everyone, and don't allow others to do good deeds to themselves?Whichever woman he falls in love with, that woman should do something good for him!Ding Ding's answer made us even more dizzy, she said how could Liu Feng love her, Liu Feng shouldn't have such a dirty mind.Xiao Hao jumped off the bed and stood straight in front of Ding Ding's bed, with his hips akimbo, looking down at Ding Ding's face.

Hao Shuwen said, "Why is it dirty?..." Lin Dingding couldn't speak. Hao Shuwen forced another sentence: "If the officer and the staff love you, Liu Feng can't love you?" Lin Dingding muttered, "He... just can't love him." "Why?" Lin Dingding still couldn't tell, I tried to interpret the expressions on his face and eyes many years later: he was wronged by a great shame and humiliation... It's not right, it seems to be a kind of disillusionment: you always thought he was a saint, and it turns out that the saint has always thought about it And you!Like all men, that's what's on his mind!Just imagine, if Jesus misses you, misses you for several years, like all men do to your body, are you afraid or disgusted?He has done all the good deeds, possessed all the virtues, and has no smell of human fireworks. In the end, he suddenly tells you that he has been thinking about you for many years, but he has never succeeded, and now he has succeeded!On that summer night in 1977, I still couldn't interpret the complexity and confusion in Tintin's eyes. Now I think my interpretation is basically accurate.She felt terrified, disillusioned, disgusted, let down... Hao Shuwen, who was standing in front of her bed, was very upset about Liu Feng. Suddenly there was a threat in her deep voice: "What's wrong with Liu Feng? What's wrong with you?" "It doesn't matter whether you are worthy or not..." Ding Ding said, "It's all screwed up!" She spoke Beijing dialect with a Shanghai accent, which was very fun.If she didn't want to desperately explain herself, she wouldn't speak Beijing dialect in a hurry. I also feel screwed.This is a misunderstanding that has grown over the years and has grown enormous.Ding Ding couldn't tell what kind of misunderstanding it was.I can vaguely realize it, but I can't arrange the words.People used to think that my ideology was not good. Since then, people have never stopped biting at my ideology. However, people with problematic ideology are more complicated and sensitive, so I can realize Lin Dingding’s grievance and disillusionment. . "He's neither lame nor blind, but he's a little short, so he's not ugly!..." "I didn't say he was ugly!" "Then what do you think of him?" Ding Ding murmured: "I don't dislike anything, can I dislike it? Do I dare to dislike Liu Feng?" She sobbed again, this time it's really sad, is there any hope for us? "I don't think Liu Feng is worse than your internal medicine doctor! What's so good? And bring two children..." "A child!" Tintin retorted. "A child is not the same as a stepmother! Being a stepmother at the age of twenty-five is so happy?! There is nothing good about being a photography officer. She is slippery. I think she is a flamboyant playboy. After two years of marriage, she will have to spend another year." Go to the woman! Liu Feng is much better than the two of them! Liu Feng is so good, can you pick out what is not good about him?!" Ding Ding said: "Okay, why don't you marry him?" A disgusted look appeared on Xiao Hao's face, and he was taken aback by the disgust.Idols are so good, I'm afraid I can't get a kiss with him, it will disgust the idol, and even disgust herself. Ding Ding said again: "Why don't you persuade Xiao Suizi to get along with Liu Feng?" I said glibly, "You can't destroy my hero. Didn't the organization point out that people like Xiao Suizi have ideology problems?" The strange thing is, I also find it extremely off-putting to talk about that with Liu Feng.It has been many years now, and we are all married and divorced people, and I can roughly understand that summer night when I was young.Now I'm trying to figure it out-- Assuming that Liu Feng has a "Superego" inferred by Freud, then every step of Liu Feng's evolution to this personality is a little bit away from normal personality—that is, a mixture of Freud's inferences. The personality of the "Ego" of the "Id".Conversely, the closer a person is to the perfect personality—the "superego", the farther he is from the "ego" and "id". The less human you are.The reason why a person is human is that he has a human nature that makes people hate and love, makes people laugh and makes people pitiful.And the unpredictability and unreliability of human nature, as well as its endless changes, no lack of sin, meat and lust, are exactly the charm of human nature.Compared with the big meat in human nature, the "superego" is pure vegetarian, but when I meet someone like Lin Dingding, like me, Xiao Suizi, who is also a big meat eater, what should I do?The reason why Hao Shuwen hangs out with the "cousin" of the second-rate soldier instead of Liu Feng is the best proof of my reasoning.When Liu Feng came to the world, he should be their role model hero and pacesetter. Once the stinking humanity of our personality appeared in them, we would be afraid instead, and we could not find a place for them.Therefore, Liu Feng has been alienated into a kind of other kind. How can our group of women who are full of shameless and dirty little desires love a kind of other kind of life?And a bystander who we assumed to be a perfect personality suddenly hugged you like a bum in the army, do you blame Ding Ding for calling "help"? Go back to 1977.Ding Ding is still struggling with "how can he love me".Hao Shuwen asked her what she was going to do, but she didn't know what to do.Xiao Hao warned her that no matter what to do, she should not betray Liu Feng. "You don't love him, it's your right, he loves you, it's his right. But you have no right to betray him. This matter ends here in our house, do you hear me? How miserable is the betrayer." Immediately, I was full of admiration and respect for the team leader.I didn't ask who she had betrayed.Who didn't betray others in those days? Ding Ding promised that he would never betray Liu Feng. So far, Lin Dingding has not told us that Liu Feng touched her.It wasn't until the next day that the vocal teacher analyzed the situation told by her son and questioned Ding Ding in her vocal class, and the incident really broke out.For Ding Ding, the vocal teacher is the surrogate father, but Ding Ding will not betray Liu Feng even with her own father.Teacher Wang loved Tintin very much. He immediately secretly found the deputy political commissar who was in charge of style, and said that his son heard Tintin calling for help and witnessed Tintin crying. Tintin must have been bullied.The deputy political commissar and the vocal teacher secretly interviewed Tintin.Unable to withstand both hard and soft questioning, Ding Ding finally recruited Liu Feng.After taking a breath, Teacher Wang asked what kind of bullying method it was.Ding Ding didn't say a word this time.