Chapter 63 Douzi's heart is bleak

For a child's growth, parentage is much more important than genes, which is why I once decided to have another child after joining the Yellowstone Club.This club is not in Hubei, but in the United States, it is said that the basic requirement for membership is to have hundreds of millions of dollars, and then Bill Gates and his group of senior members have to hold a meeting to comment on whether your taste is too low. After joining Will they drop the price.But now I take it easy, the financial crisis is raging and this big bourgeois club has filed for bankruptcy.Therefore, I thought, once the sea was too difficult for water, except that Wushan is not a cloud, except for the Yellowstone Club, there is no lofty status worth pursuing.Then if I apply for a temporary residence permit and send my child to a primary school for migrant workers' children, will I be worthy of the ancestors of the Li family?

I think so because I recall my own childhood education.When I was a child, I read a lot of domestic fairy tales, from which I formed an impression that there was a "grandpa with white beard" in all the stories.Later, when I read Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tales, I was very angry: the protagonist has encountered such a big trouble, why hasn't "Grandpa White Beard" appeared yet? It was only after I grew up that I discovered that "there is no such thing as a fairy emperor".How many troubles have I encountered in this life, but the old man with a white beard who always carries great kindness, wisdom and energy with him has never appeared.He didn't hide it from my dad when I failed a test, and he never gave that guy a dismissal when I hated him.In fairy tales, he keeps changing. For people younger than me, he seems to be transformed into a doraemon.But I think there are still more big bad wolves in life.Back then, as I heard, those fairy tales "reflected the yearning of the working people for a better life".At that time, I hadn't connected this matter with my infinite desire for a sugar ball behind the counter, so I wondered: What is "longing"?

It was only after many years that I gradually achieved this—no longer longing for anything.I learned a saying in an American novel: God didn't want a waterfall to become a big tree.In a Chinese book, I learned another sentence: I have been with me for a long time, and I would rather be me. It was this kind of insight that helped me understand that many good things are actually just wanting sugar balls because I can't eat them.It is the knights in the movie fighting several times in their minds, and the surrounding environment is as gaudy as a landscape calendar in the 1980s; After living a life without love and sexual pleasure, I feel very gratified when I recall the past in my later years; that is, when I was in junior high school, some classmates pretended to be a gangster, and they were all suppressed later; it is what they said on the Internet "YY"; it is when we When you are facing countless troubles, you see a guy in a suit and a headset on the screen in the terminal hall of the airport, eloquently advocating how your soul needs to grow.He tells you that among all living beings, you happen to be the most special one, and you are destined to succeed.Growing up has given me an attitude that can take pleasure in anything, so every time I go to the airport, I have fun in front of this screen—the proverb is true: a clown goes to town, is worth a Hit the doctor.

Once in the hospital, I also encountered a similar happy incident.The daughter of a department director, about 13 years old, was reprimanding her mother's subordinates in the corridor: "Be nice to me, maybe I will show kindness, and I will say a few words for you in front of Director Chen!" I thought, This girl is what they call a perfect LOLI.But as a boring person, what I think more about is, what lessons does the world around us teach children?A character corresponding to this girl is the young Holden in the movie, he is really a perfect gentleman.The novel talks about the fact that American society is also a sauce vat. Holden is in it, and he has a dream, that is, not to become a sauce, but to maintain his true colors before being brewed by society.So he is like a bean insisting that he is a bean, sad and lonely.He doesn't yearn for and appreciate everything that people in society "yearn for" and the fake appearances they make for it.

Such a person obviously has no way out in reality.But if I can, I still want to make a good bean.Some people have more freedom than others because they are willing to give up other things in order to enjoy freedom.Maybe we can get rid of the sauce-pot habit in our body, but how to get rid of it is very complicated.Since I no longer have "yearning", I can't help but think desolately: Although I am an extremely smart Asian bean, it is really not easy to pursue the beauty of the spirit without falling into nothingness.