Chapter 52 See you around the corner, tailless dog

When I was in college, I read "Dedicated to Esme—Both Love and Sadness". The little girl named Esme in it is like a flame in a freezing rain night.I've also read it, and it tells the story of an eternal Zhengtai.After graduation, I read "Nine Stories". Regarding the sense of form, this is called "Jade and Jade".Then I read "Frannie and Zooey" and at first I thought I was a lot like Zooey, and after I got enough of Franny, I realized I was more like Franny.The characters in Salinger's works are always smart, withdrawn and very polite. Even Holden, who is full of "fuck" and "asshole", is also a polite child.

I think this actually has a tendency towards high-energy autism.I just thought, it seems that one day I can write a novel of this type. When I was four years old, one day I was running around with other children on the street, and I saw my grandma. I was brought up by her since I was a child, and I have a close relationship with her, but when I saw her, I really wanted to get close to her. But the actions were in the opposite direction, and he walked away without saying a word.My grandma was very sad, and I was also very sad, the reason is the same: this child, grandma treats him so well, why doesn't he even call someone?

This is the epitome of my childhood life.I was afraid of dealing with people, I didn't know how to speak, and I didn't know how to throw myself into the arms of my loved ones to please them.I know that all of this is normal, but it is extremely difficult to act.I always play alone and can stay silent all day.I'm also extremely ashamed.I felt ashamed to do a trick and amuse myself like any other kid.Until now, when I see someone singing with an overly vivid expression in KTV, I will look away, because I will assume that I am him, and then I will be ashamed.I thought very sadly, I probably won't be able to do interesting things like sexual harassment in my life, because I'm sorry.I don't know if Salinger looked like this when he was a child, but I guess that's roughly how his characters were when they were young.

When this kind of person grows up, he will have many disputes with others, and it will be difficult to get along with those close to him.Once, I had to explain to my girlfriend that there is a dog that always fights with other dogs because it has no tail, and the other dogs wag their tails when they meet, which means, let’s get along friendly!When it saw other dogs, it also thought, Nice to meet you!But it had no tail to wag, and when other dogs bit it, it had to bite back.I am this tailless dog, you think I am unfriendly, but you don't know how hard my life is because of it. You know, woman, I was moved to tears when I heard this story, and wanted to hold me in my arms to comfort me.I am naturally proud of myself, although I was a tailless dog when I was a child, but now I can make up nonsense so well, it can be seen that I already have a big tail.

In fact, for people like me, the usual requirements are acceptable, but for people like Salinger, it cannot be met with common sense.I saw "I Was Salinger's Lover" where a young girl goes to an old Salinger, sleeps with him, and writes a book about how he treated her badly.And a young girl went to an old Picasso, slept with him, and wrote a similar book.I thought, what else do you want?It is wishful thinking to want the love of such people, their love is not enough for themselves. Who is Esme?Who is Phoebe?Who is Franny?I think it's all part of Salinger himself.It's not a literary test, but I'm pretty sure.When I was a child, I regretted that I didn't have tin soldiers, but I had plastic soldiers, and I would line them up, advance, lie down, and shoot. When the enemy tanks came, they calmly died, and I burst into tears.Who are these plastic soldiers?Each one is myself.Have I ever been on a battlefield?No.Has Salinger seen his level of beauty and tenderness?I don't see it either.

Maybe you will say, you are using yourself to guess Salinger, which onion are you?This question is really difficult to answer.There is an onion field with green onions growing on it, which is Salinger, and shallots growing on it, which is me.I didn't grow up so big, it's my fault that I can't make dumplings.But if you say that I am not an onion, you can only blame yourself for being too ignorant. Could it be that if you are an eggplant, everyone else must be an eggplant? JD Salinger died the other day.The loneliness of life is auspicious, but the loneliness of death will last forever.35 million copies have been sold, and the same thing has been said 35 million times: people don't rebel in vain.I think this can be regarded as universal value.It's the voice of a tailless dog.I am not a fan of Salinger, and I will not ask for his autograph when I meet in the corner of heaven in the future.We onions don't like to connect with each other.But we know that life is not only fighting, life can also be telling hopeless dreams in trembling.