Chapter 38 Legend of long johns

One day, I was jealous that everyone had a mistress, but I didn't have one, so I picked the ugliest girl and told her, you can be my mistress.She said, I know that my conditions are not very good. Someone invited me to be a mistress, which is a compliment to me. I don't want money, neither do you, and I don't want sex. Figure 1 Taste—Tell me, do you wear long johns?I said, of course I wore it!The girl began to cry.She said that it was a great insult to her that someone like me teased her, so she beat me up in the street.It was only later that I learned that it was rumored that Ms. Su Mang, a fashionista, had spoken first, that fashionable people do not wear long johns.I think it's a good thing that Su Mang's words are close to Su Mang's. If it was Coco Chanel who said it, it's unknown if the poisonous woman took me for skinning.

In fact, there are more than one kind of long johns, and everyone calls them differently.What is called autumn trousers in Beijing is called cotton wool trousers in the south, and underpants in Shenyang.Long johns in Shenyang refer to another kind of trousers, which are worn by workers. They are dark green, very dense, and somewhat flame-resistant. When we were young, in Shenyang, we didn’t just wear long johns in winter.I want to wear a pair of underpants, which is what Beijing calls long johns, then a pair of long johns in the sense of Shenyang, and then a pair of woolen trousers, with cotton trousers outside the woolen trousers, and finally a pair of outer trousers.That way, not counting panties, I've worn 5 layers of pants.The same goes for the tops, I have to wear shirts, autumn clothes, sweaters, cotton coats and coats.This is just the way children from poor families wear. Some children whose father is the director wear 12 layers.The director's son wears 24 layers.In this way, we are all dressed like Michelin dolls, full of elasticity, and when kicked, we will bounce far away.When we went to school, we didn't have to walk, we just sat on the ground and jumped forward, like a bunch of cotton candy that could jump.Some students jumped too high, they would hang on the telegraph pole, and the parents had to stick it down with the sticky pole.After sticking it down, the child froze, and the parent scolded "trash", took a table tennis bat, and went home.Some students jumped so high that they hung on the flagpoles at the top of the building, so they had to bombard them with cannons. After they came down, they were covered in black cannon fodder.Some students wear too many long johns, so they jump higher than anyone else, and it takes a long time to land. Sometimes we have finished two classes and are doing inter-class exercises, and someone shouts, "Let's let it go!" Make way!" We hurriedly avoided, so we heard the sound of "day~", the student fell down like a meteorite, smashing a big hole in the shape of multi-layer long johns on the ground.This is the life we ​​live.

When it snows, we are most afraid of falling. Some students wear cotton shoes with plastic soles. If they are too slippery, they will fall into the snow and roll far away. It is similar to rolling Lantern Festival. It gradually turns into a big snowball and cannot be seen clearly. He had no choice but to let other students show him the way, "Turn it! Turn it!" Rolling all the way to the school, it was like a silkworm chrysalis getting into snow cotton bean paste, which was already as big as a ball on the Oriental Pearl Tower.At this time, chopping with a knife and an axe is not enough to open the snowball, so the school worker needs to bring boiling water and pour a hole in the snowball to rescue the students inside.Once, there was a boy who yelled to go to the toilet as soon as he came out, but he couldn't urinate. When we saw it, we were shocked, and it turned out that his urinating tool had disappeared.Principal Huang has experience, he touched it lovingly for a while, and said, "I don't wear long johns, I'm freezing!" So we had to apply yeast powder on the child and let it rise slowly.

You see, we lived in such a harsh environment when we were young.In the temperature of minus 20 degrees, it is no exaggeration to say that a drop of water turns into ice. Only a real fool would pretend to be thin and tall.Growing up, I thought and thought and thought I was still living in a grim environment.I worked for "GQ" for a period of time, and I learned that it would be more appropriate not to wear long johns, and it would be more elegant to wear more expensive clothes, and so on.But I always feel that here, there are many things that are more important than fashion, and people need to think and talk about them.Here, there are as many things as there are sands in the Ganges than how a person looks.

One day not long ago, I took an aspirin, I was so amazing, I actually traveled back in time, and met that frozen child.I asked him, are you a rich second generation?He shook his head.I asked again, do you work in Harper's Bazaar?He shook his head again.Are you from the Beijing cultural circle?He shook his head again.You want to find a mistress?He still shook his head.I just said, then tell me who you are.He said, don't talk about it, I just follow others and don't wear long johns, isn't it better than you to follow others to make fashion magazines?