Chapter 8 5. Rebellion against roses

Andre: Reading your letter, I feel quite complicated.Remember when you first met your father in America and listened to him talk about his travels. At the age of 18, with one or two friends with long hair and ripped jeans, he hitchhiked from Germany all the way across Europe, to Turkey and Greece.It was 1968 in Europe, the era of the rise of the student movement and the radiance of hippie culture. He talked about the chaos after a car accident in a country where he didn't speak the language; about trying to seduce a girl at Mass in a Catholic church in Spain; about getting to a farmer's house in Greece without a dime Cheat a meal; mention sleeping in the straw, watching the Czech night sky full of heavy stars.

At that time, I was 3 years old, and I just came to the United States from Taiwan. I was shocked why young people in Europe "play" with us, that is, a circle of people gathers, sings, dances, plays with the wind or hides, and claps or stomps together. Make uniform movements.The games played by kindergarten children are played with the same enthusiasm as college students. The concept of "group education" is hidden behind our "play", teaching us to find safety and happiness from collective action. So it is not mainly a matter of material scarcity; the main difference between a European youth and a Taiwanese youth at the time lies in the individual thinking of the former and the collective thinking of the latter.Being out of the group is a scary, unsettling thing.What's more, we are taught that studying and studying is for the prosperity of the country, but "playing" is also to achieve a collective will.

However, were the young people of your father's generation born free and easy?Didn't their parents, your grandparents' generation, live in the collective consciousness of German fascism?In other words, your father and I have similar backgrounds. I remember a young man from West Berlin said that many people of the "generation of 1968" would consciously refuse to plant roses, peonies, large azaleas, etc. that parents' generation liked on their balconies. To grow Chinese bamboo instead of European native bamboo is a vague symbol of rebellion against roses. "Sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll" is the desire to shout out in that context.

The "generation of 1968" became parents and teachers, and they were still anti-authoritative parents and teachers who advocated looseness and opposed hard work. My Andrei grew up in such an educational atmosphere.Your "laziness", your "refusal to seek first place" philosophy, your declaration of freedom and your affirmation of "mortal pleasures" have a reason.If the "play" of your father's generation was still a cautious attempt, your "play" is already a natural ecology. Am I against it?Do I, an intellectual who is "complex, deep, and hypocritical" and has never learned to "play", want to give you moral persuasion and teach you the story of crickets and worker ants?As a mother, do I want to tell you that in the global competition, son, you must pursue "No. 1", otherwise you will not be able to gain a foothold?

I hate to say it, Andre. For example, you said that you especially value the time you spend with your friends and colleagues.I have no objection.Life, in fact, is like a road from a wide plain into a forest.On the plains, companions can walk in groups, happily pushing forward and backward, and caressing each other; once in the forest, the grass and thorns block the way, everyone concentrates on walking their own way, looking for the direction of each person, the pushing group Emotion, the carefree and unsuspecting peer affectionate, is only available in adolescence in a person's life.Leaving this pure and bright stage, the road may actually become more and more lonely.You will be fettered by your family, by your responsibilities, by your own ambitions, and by the complexity and contradictions of life. You will go deep into the jungle, and the deeper you go, the more you will no longer have any sunshine-like partners.At the age of familiarity, even in the arms of the masses, you may feel extremely lonely.

"Teenage Crazy," Andre, is okay.As for "playing", you know, I think not knowing how to "play" is a very serious shortcoming.how to say?Aunt Xi Murong "Remember? The Mongolian princess who wrote poems and painted pictures" once said that if a child has never been in contact with nature in his life, such as touching the bark of a tree, After stepping on crisp fallen leaves, she couldn't teach him art.Because, he has never been in contact with beauty first-hand. There is an author in China that I admire very much, named Shen Congwen. His literary charm, I think, comes from his playing truant from school when he was young, going to the street to watch peddlers who slaughtered pigs and dogs, and saw peddlers sharpening iron and knives, and watching revolutionary soldiers kill people and farmers’ heads fell to the ground. Vicissitudes of life.Playing wild on the street gave him maturity and intelligence that probably far outweighed reciting in the classroom.

When you were young, I used to take you to the theater, feed the ducks in the park, knead dough in the kitchen, play with mud in the field, pick wild flowers, catch grasshoppers, fly kites, raise mint and grow cucumbers in the garden, Go cycling on the Rhine.Now that you are older, go to Barcelona by yourself, see the architecture, and see the sculptures.Andre, Xi Murong and I have the same opinion: it is better to let the children walk in nature for a day than to teach one hundred aesthetics lessons; Cities; it is better to let writers get their trousers dirty in the market than to talk about the skill of literary writing a hundred times.Playing can be said to be the foundation of knowledge between heaven and earth.

So am I not at all worried that my son will turn into a winter cricket and get nowhere?Liar?Of course I'm worried.But what I worry about is not the high or low of your occupation, the amount of money, or the level of your status, but how much freedom your job can give you? "Sex, drugs, rock and roll" is the concept of freedom when teenagers are crazy, a gesture of rebellion; after entering the jungle of life, freedom often depends on how much time you are forced to spend dodging the thorns on the road. But you are 18 years old, so be responsible for yourself.I forgot to mention that when MM was 18 years old, she often skipped classes, was in love every day, and didn't read much.Moreover, she thought that all the countries in the world were surrounded by the sea, so she couldn't go out.

MM November 01, 2004