Chapter 56 A Fool's Guide to Instant Noodles

There has never been a kind of noodle that uses so many nicknames in addition to its real name and has been around for more than 40 years and has a good reputation-yes, what I am talking about below is the famous instant noodles. It is said that he has a lot of nicknames because he is also known as instant noodles (used in Taiwan), instant noodles (used in Guangdong and Hong Kong), cooked instant noodles (used in Shanghai) or instant noodles (compatible with any Chinese region). .It is said that he "misunderstood the rivers and lakes" because although he has become the leading "globalization boss" with the most WTO concept among the pasta, he has a background that is still unknown.According to a survey, when asked "Who invented instant noodles", 32.3% of the respondents in Indonesia believed that it was the invention of the Indonesians; 25.6% of the people in South Korea believed that it was the creation of the Koreans; Chinese people are more polite, and only 17.6% of consumers firmly believe that this product is the crystallization of Chinese wisdom.

In comparison, the answer of the Chinese is closer to the truth, and the generally accepted fact is that the world's first package of instant noodles was made by Momofuku Ando, ​​the chairman of Nissin Foods Company in Osaka in 1958, and Momofuku Ando It is the Japanese name of Mr. Wu Baifu, a Chinese businessman.And another more convincing evidence is: in 2001, about 43 billion packets of instant noodles were "conveniently" discarded by people on earth, about 40% were produced in the production line in China. The momentum of "small beads falling on a jade plate" was quickly "conveniently" created.At the same time, China is also the largest consumer of instant noodles in the world.

Although instant noodles enjoy such a high global status, whether it is in the United States (the average annual consumption of instant noodles is 1,610 tons, ranking second in the world after China) or in other parts of Asia, it is cheap and lacks nutrition. And unhealthy, instant noodles are still regarded as a kind of unhealthy diet, and a person who often eats instant noodles is even shameful.Even if the noodle eater himself does not think so, it must not prevent others from feeling it, even after he is full.For the question "Who do you most want to invite to eat instant noodles", the Japanese answers are as follows: Tokugawa Ieyasu, Clinton, Sakamoto Ryoma, Oda Nobunaga, Napoleon, Cleopatra, Prince Shotoku, Queen Elizabeth, The Beatles , Toyotomi Hideyoshi.In my opinion, this kind of "comfort with others" after getting used to "self-comfort" is not so much a reflection of the Japanese's respect for the above-mentioned characters, it is better to regard it as a kind of mischievous enjoyment.

A Chinese who is still or is living in a place where instant noodles can be bought in China will inevitably eat at least once in his life-then who, what are you talking about, have you really never eaten instant noodles?Have you ever eaten instant noodles?Come on, pull it out to feed the dog, that "silver" is not Chinese "silver"! In terms of eating instant noodles, I should be regarded as hardcore among my peers. 1980 was the first year of instant noodles for me.In this unforgettable year, I have tried the imported instant noodles and the first-generation domestic instant noodles. The latter is made in Shanghai, and I really can’t remember the brand.

At that time, I thought this kind of noodles were so delicious that I couldn't bear to regard them as noodles. He was a kind of jaw-dropping magic, a novelty toy packaged in colorful scotch tape , just add an appropriate amount of boiling water according to the instructions, and watch the changes. A self-hardening and soft process from "raw" to "cooked", from "dead" to "live" will be magically displayed in front of you (many years later, I I just realized that "Magic Ramen" is the nickname of the world's first package of instant noodles invented by Ando Momofuku in 1958), and at the same time, a downright lazy person can be defeated by the hardworking and motivated With so much social concern, the feeling of guilt in the depths of my heart cannot be described in words.

After more than 20 years, I fell in love with instant noodles again.Especially since the Spring Festival in 2002, there has been almost no break for a day, and the best thing is that you can change a new variety every day to try something new.If the first time I fell in love with instant noodles was because of its own "magic effect", then today's resurgence of old love is because I fell in love with my own magic - my fading taste buds can still clearly recognize twenty The taste of years ago!Surprised, I couldn't help but feel relieved and my stomach widened. Frankly speaking, instant noodles have gone through countless new tricks in terms of variety and packaging, and the debut of cup noodles and bowl noodles can be called the most meaningful second revolution in the history of "convenience". However, its basic taste is different. It is infinitely loyal and almost 10% has not changed.

Of course, it is not impossible for a hard-core "old convenient" character to encounter new problems today. For example, the varieties of instant noodles on supermarket shelves are enough to make people dazzled and dazzled. However, after taking more than forty kinds of various instant noodles one by one for eight weeks, I have completely and completely believed that this can only be regarded as a non-problem. It's not difficult, in short, as long as you keep a close eye on the outer packaging of instant noodles with extraordinary imagination and unique eyes, you can get twice the result with half the effort and be invincible.

For smart and lazy people like me, the outer packaging of instant noodles is the first and only basis for choosing noodles.While wandering the supermarket, it's best to imagine yourself as a judge for a food photography competition or a senior QC for a printing factory.The so-called external packaging refers to the pattern printed on the packaging bag or box, those fresh and tender beef, those lively fish and shrimps-these are the things that can be compared.That is to say, on the premise of knowing that the above objects do not really exist inside the instant noodles, the only choice is to choose those beef that look larger, fish and shrimp that look more vigorous, color reproduction that is ideal, and patterns that are more pleasing to the eye. Throw them in your cart without hesitation.

But things are far from over here.When eating noodles, it is best to take a bite of the noodles, glance at the cup, look at them while eating, look at the pictures and eat noodles, use your imagination to the limit, and you will have unexpected delicious tastes—to be honest, What convinces you is that the level of production of those pictures is professional enough and exquisite enough, at least, it is much better than the pictorial that the nurse threw to you when you went to the hospital to donate sperm last time. If I have to pick and choose, I believe that the above packaging and its patterns may cause some unnecessary misunderstandings for vegetarians, thus causing unnecessary discounts on the sales of instant noodles.Another thing that needs to be paid attention to is to give full play to the imagination, and at the same time, be careful to measure it, and avoid excessive force and go crazy.For example, there is a small dose of bowl noodles in the supermarket. If you see Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse on the outer packaging, you start to spread your imagination in the direction of bear meat or mouse meat, it will be very unfortunate. thing.

Of course, if you have to choose eggs from the bones, I think that no matter in terms of the taste of the soup or the texture of the noodles, they are all Japanese brands that can be barely accepted.If a passionate person accuses me of flattering the sun based on this, you are welcome to throw dung in my face at any time.To be honest, I have always been very skeptical that any concentration of fecal water can cause some kind of devastating damage to the basic taste of a bowl of instant noodles that have been soaked. The greatest contribution made by instant noodles in the history of human diet is that it greatly omits the making and cooking process of noodles in an architectural "prefabricated" way.At the same time, whether it is hospitality or self-serving, the history of eating noodles has evolved from "I will roll the noodles for you" to "I will serve you below" to today's understatement "I will give you instant noodles". you eat".In a word, what is soaked is noodles.For noodle eaters, "bubble" is almost the only useful verb, and in a kitchen where electric kettles and water dispensers predominate, even the fire does not need to be lighted. Noodle-cooking dogmas such as "soup and narrow noodles" have since been declared invalid.It can also be called the essentials of some technical content, which is "who needs to roll enough", and the rest that can let the numbers speak, is just "cover the lid tightly (or the lid) and wait for three minutes".

I found that no matter what brand or package of instant noodles, the operating method of "instant noodle time" is always indicated as three minutes.Every time I "close the lid tightly", I have such a strange thought, three minutes, one hundred and eighty seconds, but why three minutes?And why is it always three minutes?Three minutes, slightly longer than the men's 4x400m relay world record (2:56.45), slightly shorter than the women's record in the same event, and exactly equal to the black period that the Chinese football team fears most, but why, instant noodles Three minutes, three minutes of silence, three minutes of machine cleaning contact lenses, the book says that a good father should spend three minutes admonishing his children, and the basic charge for a long-distance call is also three minutes... I am definitely not doubting that three minutes of soaking the noodles is not enough to eliminate the protein remaining on the lens of the contact lens, or that we cannot fully and reasonably express our proper grief for the dead. I just don’t know what this commonly used time unit is. how it was calculated.However, the water has already been poured, and the noodles are about to be cooked. At this moment, I really can't manage so much. Now, I just need to go to the bathroom for a while, and then I will have a bowl of steaming instant noodles to enjoy. Unfortunately, almost every time I make noodles, there will always be more than half a packet of seasoning powder left. Although it is too salty and useless, it is a pity to just throw it away, so I have a lot of it in the kitchen.It is said that a chain fast food restaurant once recycled the unused ketchup packets that were torn apart by diners and repacked them for reuse. This method seems to be a reference for instant noodle manufacturers. There are various types of instant noodles, but the taste is almost the same. In addition, there is no other way to cook except Dugu.Therefore, those who have good things do the opposite, that is, change "convenient" into "inconvenient", and find out the following alternative ways to eat instant noodles in the dark. A Hong Kong favorite, Hong Kong-style "dinner egg noodles" are a must-have in any restaurant. "Table egg noodles" refers to a kind of food on the menu, and the word "table egg" can also be understood as a modification and definition of "noodles" like "eel noodles" or "wonton noodles", but However, the word "meal egg noodles" is a combination of three different foods, namely "meal", "egg" and "noodles".The so-called "meal" refers to canned luncheon meat cut into slices, "egg" is fried egg, and "noodle" is instant noodles.In an authentic tea restaurant, the luncheon meat must be domestically produced "Meilin", the eggs are imported from the United States, and the instant noodles must be "Chuqian Yiding" or Hong Kong-made "doll" sesame oil noodles, which is a typical "globalization combination". The reason why "dinner egg noodles" are so popular, I guess, is because the instant noodles themselves are too unpalatable, so the fried eggs and luncheon meat are contrasted with an unusual delicacy. However, fried noodles made with instant noodles taste good, and it is said that they were invented by the Thais.The production method is as follows: 1. Prepare your favorite noodle ingredients, such as shredded pork, ham, mushrooms, pickled mustard, etc.; The soaked instant noodles "Guo Leng He" (soak in cold water) and then remove the water; 4. Take up the oil pan, and after the oil is hot, first fry the prepared noodle ingredients, and then put the noodles down and fry together; 5. , Stir the noodle soup with cold boiled water and add to the noodle, or add some soy sauce (dark soy sauce), stir well and put on the plate. As for the quickest, most alternative and also the most environmentally friendly way to eat, it is to treat instant noodles as ultra-miniature twists and directly send them to your mouth for chewing.Of course, this kind of tragic event usually only happens under the following two circumstances: first, there is no boiling water; second, the heart is too anxious and the stomach is too hungry to wait for the water to boil.Of course, there is a third situation besides this: there is water, and the water is rolling; there are noodles, but the noodles are not cup noodles or bowl noodles, but noodles in bags, and it happens that there is no one. Bowl or a cup—Once you are in this situation, learn from me: open your mouth wide, break the noodles into small pieces and place them on your tongue, and spread the seasoning powder evenly on the walls of your mouth. At this time, the boiling water has dropped below 90°C. It can be slowly poured into the mouth... Next, it goes without saying that you know it: follow the usual guidelines, shut your mouth tightly, wait for three minutes, and eat immediately.