Chapter 25 horse urine

Just like a knight-errant who has been in the rivers and lakes for many years, has many friends and enemies, must often show up but must often change his name, beer not only has an extremely wide variety of brands (the current beer brands in circulation in the Chinese market, let alone There are also thousands), and because of different ways of appearance, they have obtained multiple stage names such as bottle beer, can beer, loose beer, barrel beer, draft beer, cooked beer and "draft beer".At the same time, people in the world call it "liquid bread" or "ghost herbal tea". However, I think that among the many nicknames for beer, the most representative one is "horse urine".

The nickname "horse pee" probably came from the beginning of beer's debut in China. The reason why it is not mentioned much now is mainly due to the fact that people who have seen horses pee with their own eyes are becoming increasingly rare.Never seen horse urine, haven't you ever drank beer?In fact, there are many similarities between horse urine and beer. For example, the annual urine output of horses is as high as 2,120 catties, which is far behind that of pigs (1,530 catties) and anyone ( 1,580 catties), and the daily urine output of a pregnant mare is as high as six catties; beer production is also higher than other alcoholic beverages. According to statistics from the China Beer Association, China's annual beer production has Breaking through 20 million tons, replacing the United States as the world's largest beer production and consumption country.In terms of the nutritional components of common farmyard manures, the nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium content of horse urine is also higher than that of humans, pigs and sheep, and the content of organic matter ranks at the top of the list.In addition, biochemical technology has also discovered that the urine of pregnant horses is rich in estrogen, which is the main raw material for the pharmaceutical and cosmetics production industries. Traditional Chinese medicine also believes that applying bletilla striata juice and horse urine to the face can make people's skin white and tight Of course, if it didn't contain yeast, active enzymes, seventeen kinds of amino acids and more than ten kinds of vitamins necessary for the human body, beer wouldn't be known as "liquid bread".

Of course, the comparison between beer and horse urine is mainly due to its similar shape.More precisely, the similarities are between horse urine being passed out of the body and beer being poured into a glass and forming a foam.I say this because I have personally seen a horse pee, which is no different from beer in the two main technical indicators of pure color and rich foam, and the scene is spectacular (a tourist advertisement mentions the main Jinggangshan There is a waterfall called "horse peeing" in the scenic spot).As for the taste, I don't know very well. According to Janet Jackson, who used to drink horse urine five days a week to effectively lose weight, said that horses are vegetarians, so the excrement does not smell bad.

The "urineity" of beer, that is, low alcohol content and high nutritional content, makes it a liquid between wine and beverage, especially after beer and soda are packed into aluminum cans at the same time.It can not only quench your thirst, but also relieve the raging of "wine bugs".Even if it doesn't relieve your worries, at least it's enough to quench your thirst. This shifting physical location leads to an ambiguity in the role of beer drinkers.A man who has spent his life drinking beer for fun and drinking can have good reason to refuse the bad reputation of "drunkard", and when he tries to sneak out of the house after ten o'clock at night to meet friends in a bar Confidently defending his wife, he said, "I just went out and had a beer with them."

My friend Gouzi explained in the novel "Confessions of a Beer Man" that the technical reason why he loves beer and only drinks beer is that "beer can be drunk". Yes, no matter how many lumps there are in the chest, how many wine worms are squirming in the blood, when the beer is pouring down one after another, let alone anesthesia, the lumps will become a bean curd project. As for the bugs, they will drown even if they drown up.However, after all, there is an undercurrent of alcohol in the smooth golden river. Quantitative changes lead to qualitative changes, and beer can also be drunk.You can have sex when you're drunk.According to a survey by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, for every 20 cents increase in the price of a six-pack of beer, the incidence of gonorrhea fell by 9 percent.Obviously, this statistical conclusion is based on the premise that "drinking leads to promiscuity", but beer is not the only thing that can affect a person's ability to judge.If we must find a more convincing theoretical support for this conclusion, can it be said that it is the deception of "beer is not alcohol" that leads to the wrong idea of ​​"paying fees indiscriminately" or even "gonorrhea is not a disease".

Anyone who is good at drinking beer knows that it is nothing to be able to drink, and the key point is excretion.The urine nature of beer can be said to be consistent throughout, and in Gouzi's narrative, drinking beer and excreting are always in the context of each other.The following is a passage entitled "After Drowning in a Beer Barrel": A wife whose husband works in a brewery is notified by the foreman that her husband accidentally fell into a beer barrel and drowned.After regaining her composure, she said, "At least he died quickly, probably without too much pain, right?" The foreman shook his head and said, "I dare not say, he crawled out to go to the toilet twice."

Beer usually appears in a casual image on a dinner or drinking occasion. When beer is drunk as water or soda, there is almost no sense of ritual at all.In addition, beer rarely participates in major historical events. Think about it, on a serious occasion of signing a contract, when the two parties sign the contract with a serious look, if beer is served, even though it is as constant as champagne If the ground is bubbling, then the sincerity of the owner and the credibility of the contract will undoubtedly be greatly reduced. Beer can be drunk not only for people and vegetables, but also for livestock.

For example, the most expensive Kobe cattle in Japan were raised with beer. Not only do they have to drink beer, but they also have to play some music and massage with their hands.The value-added enjoyment of drinking beer that a man can imagine is probably nothing more than this. According to reports, sheep living in a large mutton sheep breeding base in the suburbs of Beijing are now also enjoying the "beer treatment".This new type of mutton sheep is a crossbreeding of purebred meat sheep from Australia and small-tailed Han sheep from Shandong. Because it was filled with a certain amount of beer during the breeding stage, not only the meat is extraordinarily tender, but also has a cute appearance. pink.It is a pity that this report did not (or intentionally avoided) mention whether the sheep were fed "Yanjing" or "Qingdao". Isn't the brand of beer the real "original soup and original food"?I believe that there is a promising business opportunity for cooperation between this mutton sheep breeding base and a large brewery.

In contrast, "external" beer dishes such as beer chicken and beer duck are very outdated and very "lag". Beer can be taken not only internally, but also externally.Of course, there is nothing strange about this. When I was a freshman, I often rubbed my chin with the leftover "Gold Brandy". After the spring breeze, didn't I grow a messy beard?But what surprised me this time is that it is said that beer is actually very suitable for washing hair.The relevant operating procedures are as follows: "When washing hair, add an appropriate amount of beer and essence to the water, and it will feel fresh after washing. It is not inferior, and after washing, the hair can still maintain a faint fragrance of beer hops for a long time. In addition, if an appropriate amount of beer is evenly applied to the hair, it has obvious styling effects, comparable to mousse styling hairspray .”

If you are unfortunate enough to have a girlfriend who has this hairdressing habit, and you hold her in your arms, it is very necessary to praise her hair fragrance after sniffing wildly: "Sister Lan, I guess, you The one used today must be 'Pure Health'!" "That's not it, people have already switched to imported 'Carlsberg', old-fashioned!"