Chapter 6 The fifth series because she is a mother

For the matter of going home during the Chinese New Year, I have been worrying for a long time. Now that I meet my beloved, I will come back from thousands of miles.When encountering unhappy things in a foreign land, I feel sorry for myself, thinking that it is so boring to have a daughter, and I will give it away for nothing until I am 20 or 30 years old.Once a year during the Spring Festival, of course I want to go home, it is the call of blood, and DNA is speaking. I called my mother, and my mother asked: "Are you coming back?" I replied: "Yes." Suddenly there was a silence.I know it's my mother who doesn't want to embarrass me all the time, so I can't express my difficulties.When I thought about it, I felt unforgivable, so I quickly added: "He will come back too." My mother was relieved immediately, and said with a smile, "Your eldest sister also said that you might...you should come back, he will only come back once a year."

Come here once or twice. " Since then, I have been hanging my heart.Earlier at this time, I had a half-truth and half-fake discussion about going home with him, and he made a bitter face: "It's too hard to come and go, let me rest." I pretended to be angry and said: "Someone abused you in my house, Don't you want to rest?" He replied: "Is someone in my house mistreating you? Why don't you want to go back to my house?" I was at a loss for words, I am not a good daughter-in-law of platinum, why should I expect someone to be a good son-in-law of gold?

I hope he goes home with me, it's not that Liu Lanzhi was sent back for no reason, of course the young couple showed up at the same time neatly, and it's decent for each of them to say "Mom".But it was my home that went back last year. Logically, I should go back to his home this year.How can I convince him?Spring Festival is a traditional Chinese festival - isn't it for his family? I want to go home - doesn't he?It's rare for him to come to my house-ashamed, how many times have I been to his house? The rejection hadn't happened yet, and it was enough to drive me into a rage.I was mopping the floor, I stopped mopping, and the mop was thrown to the ground with a bang.When he came home at night, I was furious and prepared to give him an ultimatum: "I'll go home for the holidays! It's up to you whether you come back or not. If you don't, you'll never have to go back!"

I just watched him bend over to take off his shoes, and I refused to pick up the document bag for him in anger, so he just put it on the wall, his gestures were very tired.He is really tired. During this period of time, he is traveling every week and working overtime every day.The air in the room is a hidden high pressure, and death infrared rays are ambushing everywhere. He sat on the sofa without knowing it, and said, "I really can't get away..." Go to hell! "...Can we fly back in the morning on New Year's Eve? I really can't help it any earlier." I just stood in front of him in a daze, and suddenly realized that I didn't know when, I was posing in a menacing posture with my hands on my hips.At this moment, I bowed my head, inexplicably, feeling grateful.It's absurd feeling, it's not you and me, it's not that my beloved belongs to me and I belong to my beloved, but it's—a very cheap thank you.

So maybe we're not in love?Love is "what you give me is right, what I give you is willing", just like we worship Guanyin, but Guanyin never cares about us.Love is a relationship between heaven and man, it does not say sorry, and of course it does not say thank you.But he and I are like soldiers saluting the marshal, and the marshal must return the salute, no matter how tens of thousands of levels there are between them.This is gentle, rewarding, interpersonal love and courtesy. I went over and put my face on his chest. I wanted to say thank you, but I said, "Let's go back to your house next year." He embraced me with one hand and the remote control with the other, changing channels constantly, and replied: "Ok."

At this moment, we understand each other.My parents are my first priority, and he is the second. We have never been intimate, so we have not fallen into the infernal affairs of love.He and I are just chaimi couples, but I would rather be so, rather, because love either burns or lasts, but not both. You once thought you had no hometown. You were born in a small town in the Northeast, and snow fills your child's knees in winter.One year, the water pipes froze and burst, and your father took you to dig a well. The well was a lonely black eye on the white snow, steaming. You and your father went up to the mountain to hunt hawthorn, and the autumn colors were strong.I vaguely heard that there was a loudspeaker in the square saying the death of a great man, and you smashed several sacks of bright red fruit, as if you could never finish eating them in your lifetime.

But when you go to primary school to fill in the form, you fill in "Hubei Huangpi" in the place of birth - your father is from Huangpi. You haven't even been back to your father's hometown, you've only been to Huangpi County once.It was a senior year about to graduate, and the class organized an outing. The main street of the county town was also dilapidated. There was a blackboard hanging in the video room, and the words "burning with fire" were written in big characters.In the evening, the boys disappeared one by one without giving any details, and after a while, they appeared at the same time, giggling and dejected.Finally a boy tells you that "Hot to Burn" is about the lives of firefighters.

And Huangpi is no longer an independent county, it has become a district of Greater Wuhan, like Tongxian to Beijing, or Panyu to Guangzhou.They were all innocent girls in yellow flowers, but now they are the concubines of Cheng Huan Ji in a wealthy family. You dream of nostalgia for your hometown, like cherishing a piece of expensive bi, but that piece of bi is shattered into pieces of jade. And the form no longer fills in the place of origin, but changes to the place of birth, you write "Dandong, Liaoning".When you were only seven years old, you left, passing through Shenyang, Beijing, and Wuhan, a long train journey.Together with your luggage, you go in and out of the car window, slipping under the heads of people like a loach, lie down and occupy the seat with your small body, and don't cry.Every year the newspapers write about the horror of the Spring Festival travel, as if it was a surprise, and Bambi is so innocent.Who doesn't know?Even if you are only seven years old.

Dandong is a foreign land of your parents.Like all college graduates in the early years of the "Cultural Revolution", they were manipulated by invisible political hands to go to this remote, bitterly cold place of exile, have children and survive with difficulty.As soon as there is hope, I want to leave. After the Third Plenary Session of the Eleventh Central Committee—you will know later, this is not a vulgar term, it is a turning point in the fate of many people—the iceberg has a slight crack.My mother then went to the house of the director of electronics at that time, week after week, without presents—it wasn’t popular at the time, and I couldn’t afford it. She only brought the children—are you there?do not you remember.Statements, dealings, and begging, when it came to the emotional part, the mother shed tears.

They went so happily that Danton soon forgot both them and you.The child of an old colleague went out to go to college, and then there was a sudden contact, that's all.Dandong actually has nothing to do with you. Even if you go back, where can you find a place to remember?When a child asks you where you are from with a smile, do you ask in panic, "Ah, what did you say?" Northeast dialect is not your accent or mother tongue. Now that you are in Beijing, it is natural for you to say to people: "I am from Wuhan." Of course you are.You have settled in Wuhan for more than 20 years.You gradually no longer feel that Wuhan dialect is vulgar and vulgar, and you even fall in love with its red-dust color, but you still don’t know how to speak it.In Hankou, you kept looking around, but you couldn’t even find Shangri-La; at the train station, you were always treated as an outsider; when friends from other places asked you to lead the way to Yiyimen, you said angrily, “I’ll go to Google and look it up.” In the depths, you have always been the little girl who just got off the train, fainted by a 40-degree heat wave, surrounded by loud noises like scolding.There is always a layer of separation between you and Wuhan, so you can't hold yourself in your arms.

But Beijing is even more irrelevant to you.In mid-winter, the sunshine outside the window was so good that it was almost rampant, but the wind sounded like a whistle.The strong wind is beyond your experience value, and your evaluation system for temperature has not included this factor.You put on a thin black dress and a thin red wool coat and go out: one step, two steps, three steps...the fourth step is to rush back and change into high boots and the Harry Potter cotton that covers you from head to toe Robe - this is not your city, you can't know the hot and the cold, like a gentle wife. Although you don't look down on mermaids, why aren't you a gypsy woman in this world?All the same, no hometown. That day, a boy accompanied you through the alley behind Wangfujing.It’s really dilapidated, you get lost after walking a few steps, isn’t it said that Beijing is a city with clear lines in the south, east and north?The boy smiled at Mimi and said, "The alley is not included." You see a large pile of rubbish in the small yard, rotten vegetable leaves, broken vegetable gangs, and birds will not fall on it to peck.You are muttering in your heart, why don’t you go out after Chinese New Year?To my surprise, it was clearly the Chinese cabbage stored in winter. "This is a place where alley tours don't come," said the boy.His mother is from Beijing, and he was born in Yichang. To his classmates, he is a foreign child who speaks Beijing dialect; when he goes back to his grandma’s house in Beijing for the winter and summer vacation, he becomes a foreign child who cannot speak Beijing dialect.He laughed: "So, I don't have a hometown. Just like you, would you regard Wuhan as your hometown?" You were caught off guard and froze for a long, long time, Beijing was so cold, tears condensed into ice while still in your eyes, cutting off your vision.You just try to open your eyes wide and let the smile slip by, like a child skating on the ice in the North Sea, saying softly: "No...Wuhan is my hometown." Not only because there are your classmates, friends, the youth you worked hard to bloom, and the teenager you loved deeply—in the old house in Liuduqiao, he took you to see his huge family.Also because my father was there. How many streets and alleys there are in Wuhan, my father passed by by bicycle; the small vegetable market not far away, it turned out that my parents often went shopping together; You always thought it was too expensive and greasy; you once bought him an extremely expensive sweater in the biggest shopping mall in Wuhan, regardless of your father’s objection—he was reluctant to wear it in the end. And my father slept forever in Shimenfeng Cemetery in Wuhan. How can Wuhan not be your hometown?When you miss, when you remember, when you cry silently in the middle of the night. They say that where Eve is, there is heaven.And you finally know that when a city has the tomb of your favorite person, it is your hometown. Overnight, the city changed beyond recognition, with countless faces wearing masks on the road, like scattered, pale and wilting paper flowers.Suddenly, I received a call from my second sister, saying, "I won't be going home these days." And she is a doctor. She said that their hospital had an emergency meeting, and all the medical staff were on call 24 hours a day, and they were on call at any time. Anyone who refused to be recruited would be expelled immediately... It turned out that SARS was so close to me. I blurted out: "If you fire, you will fire. I will support you. Otherwise, you will resign now." I was so anxious that I couldn't breathe. She scolded me: "What are you talking about? They are all afraid of death, they all quit their jobs, and no one sees a doctor. In the end, everyone in the world will be infected. Then it will be safe to hide at home? Besides, the hospital has never seen any disease." A lot of words, entangled in my throat like snakes, I can't say a word. The second sister always said in a calm tone: "I won't go home these days. In case... my husband has nothing to do, so I can't infect my parents. I also call Xiao Peng (second brother-in-law) and don't go back to his own home recently. .So be it." The disease is so severe that it is destined to be denied by all relatives.It is us, her parents and sisters that the beloved has to get out of the way.I know that the second sister has decided to bear it alone. I called my second sister every night, and sometimes I couldn't get in touch for two or three days, and my heart was hanging on my neck.It was connected, and it turned out that it was just her night shift, and she told me "don't be poor and nervous".He also said that in fact, people in the hospital were panic-stricken. The logistics staff in charge of disinfection did not dare to enter the infectious disease department. They stood far away from the gate and asked loudly, "Are you all right?" Some doctors were more lively and playful, and said with a smile. : "Alive and alive." A burst of laughter erupted. The city under the shadow of the plague is bleak and depressing, and this laughter is as precious as a city's broken diamonds. The newspapers were full of news about SARS: "An engineer who came back from Beijing felt unwell and had a fever of 38.5 degrees. After being sent to the hospital at 120, it was confirmed to be lobar pneumonia..." Isn't this the hospital where the second sister is? I was talking on the phone in a panic, and my voice fell apart, and she snorted and laughed. "You saw it too. As soon as I went to work this morning, a hospital patient rushed into the office and shouted: 'I'm going to be discharged from the hospital.' The newspaper was held high, like a battle flag, and it stretched straight to my face... " She is a doctor and I am not; the danger is within reach, and she is thousands of miles away from me; it is me who is so nervous that it is almost neurotic, but it is her who is indifferent. For a while, the newspapers were full of glorious deeds of medical staff vying to write applications, which made me very worried for my second sister and ashamed of my own selfishness. She just smiled: "I don't write an application. There are too many doctors, such as obstetrics and gynecology, pediatrics, dermatology... people who can't get a shot, rush to the front line, is it useful? Besides, other diseases during SARS Will it stop automatically? Don’t those patients need a doctor?” In the past few days, she went to the toll station of Wuhuang Highway to take the temperature of people entering the city.On the phone, she was still downplaying, and I babbled for a while, but she was a little impatient: "Anyway, I do my job well. If they let me go to the front line, I still do my job well. I am a doctor, where are you?" I am both." It is always said on TV: Pay tribute to all the medical workers who are fighting on the front line, but outside the front line, there is not no battlefield.The sharpness of the blade is due to the thickness of the back of the blade; the tip of the pyramid reaching into the clouds stands on a broad and solid tower base.In this great battle between heaven and man, there are countless silent warriors. My second sister is just a very ordinary doctor.The vast majority of doctors are as ordinary as her, but they do their jobs well in their respective positions, and maintain a "ready at any time" attitude. I believe that they also have fear in the face of the epidemic, but they know that fear is useless. Therefore, they must be fearless, gentle and firm, and must hold their heads high in the crowd. It's hard to say whether this is life or duty. I think people like my second sister are what Mr. Lu Xun called "the backbone of China". And my second sister is not a beautiful woman, she is petite, slightly chubby, with a small round snow-white face that is always smiling, according to her former patients, she looks like Guanyin. It was almost Christmas, and the post office was full of flowers, satin decorations, colored balls, and the crisp music of New Year's cards.At this time, the old man beside him who had been chatting with the security guard Xu Xu suddenly wiped away his tears. Forgot passbook password?I, who was filling out the remittance form, was a little surprised when I saw the security guard sitting, his chair shaking back and forth, very absent-minded.It's just a half-acquainted person, gossiping. "On the 10th, my apprentice said to me: 'The master is going to receive the salary.' I said: 'There is no one who receives the money.' He didn't understand, and said: 'Everyone has a salary. I help You sign.' When you come back in a while, grab a handful of IOUs I wrote when I advanced wages with the accountant, and one for fifty cents, two for ten cents—that's all." The old man's temples are graying, but he is wearing a very eye-catching sapphire blue coat, which makes his face wrinkled like terraced fields. "At that time, my salary was 29 yuan, and the bonus was 3 yuan and 20 cents." Ah, the details are detailed.I haven't gotten my salary slips for years. "A family of five, more than 30 yuan is poured out like a bowl of water..." The sigh was too soft to hear, "My youngest daughter in the house was sick once and wanted to eat a penny five. Fruit candy, I was so cruel, I paid three cents to go, but lost a penny on the way. It’s not worth buying one, but it’s not enough to buy two. I stood for a long time, and I’m not willing to go..." Someone came to ask questions, and the security guard, who had already been a little impatient, took the opportunity to get up.The old man stopped talking, secretly aware of his disapproval, smiled embarrassingly, and blew his nose. Those hard and miserable days are over, right?When he was still young, one hand held the abject poverty of the entire era and the whole of China; the other hand held the pain of the youngest daughter and her little desire, but he was short of a penny. Suddenly noticed, the grinning Mickey Mouse head on the chest of his coat, Mickey is not cheap.It was eliminated by the grandchildren, and the grandfather didn't want to throw it away, so he picked it up and wore it?The sleeves were too short, revealing the sweater inside. The cuffs were torn, but they had been mended with heavy stitches, and it was hard to tell whether it was black or yellow. Do the children know all the days he was soaked in water, boiled in lye, and soaked in blood?Knowing that, do you have the ability or filial piety to let him enjoy his life? A friend from Taiwan once half-smiled and half-embarrassed, saying that his parents were the so-called Bazi tourists: a lot of obasang and ojisang, dressed in very tropical clothes, almost glamorous, they can be seen on any occasion They made loud noises, took photos in a mess, and bought things like flowing water. They were slaughtered everywhere, but they were slaughtered happily.They have gold teeth, and their smiles are golden. However, he said he fully forgives and accepts. Because it was his parents' generation that made Taiwan's economy take off. They are old-fashioned, outdated, and out of date, but they are absolutely qualified to enjoy the wealth they created with their own hands. I have also worked hard for decades. My parents, as well as the old man in front of me, have tried their best to give care, nurturing and love. An upside-down hero, right?When will they be able to be so arrogant and happy? When I walked out of the post office, my cheeks were cold, it was the cold rain in Wuhan in November. It was many years ago.I was waiting for the call machine, when suddenly a man came over, in a hurry, while wiping his sweat, he grabbed the microphone with his hands.Glancing at me, I paused with my hand in mid-air, and I signaled him to hit first. Obviously calling home, he asked in a strong local accent, "Which one?" His back straightened suddenly, and he couldn't help standing at attention, calling out, "Dad!" Unable to find any more words, he was silent for a long while on the long-distance call, and asked, "Dad, can you call Mom to answer the phone?" He asked cautiously. Even I breathed a sigh of relief for him. Calling "Mom", he immediately let out a thousand miles, "How is the family? Is the money enough? Did the younger brother write back..." And "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"Perhaps it was his mother who urged him ten thousand times, and he was a little impatient: "I know, I know, needless to say, I'm such an old man..."——The coquettishness of a middle-aged man.I tilted my head, snickering. He asked again: "How is the old man? Is he in good health?" He became anxious, "Where should I go to the hospital... Is the rice expensive? Don't you eat anymore? No matter how expensive it is, you have to see a doctor... Mom, you have to take Dad to the doctor , Money doesn’t matter, I just need to earn more, he raises his son for nothing?..." Frequently, "Mom, you must tell Dad..."——Why didn’t he tell him himself? Suddenly he yelled: "Where have you been?!" He looked fierce, and his tone was almost menacing, "Nonsense, you are not at home when I call during the day! Did you get your final grades?" It was because they changed the caller. The other end reported the score one by one, he nodded unconsciously, and his attitude softened: "It's okay, don't be proud. If you want something, Dad will bring it to you... Son, what's the use of these?..." Ended with a threat : "Listen to the adults. I will ask your mother about your watch later. Now, it's not good, I beat someone. "—he is not his old man. Braun's humor and warmth, father and son in Chinese families, often reminds people of "one mountain cannot accommodate two tigers", just because they are both men, it is difficult to have a natural fusion of mother and child, and mothers can still be careful when they are eighty years old. liver. In just a few words, simple and straightforward, seemingly ruthless, but the sentences are touching and inclusive: love, respect, concern, and earnest hope, but they all need a bridge to connect them-call mother to answer the phone. Therefore, through the coldest face, the harshest attitude, and the farthest distance, with a voice, embrace. The eldest sister's daughter, Xiaoman, will be two years old in a few days, and it is the time when she is most attached to her mother.She dozed off in such a mess every night that she had to be coaxed by her mother to fall asleep. The eldest sister was so annoyed that she hid in my room, only to hear Xiao Man lying alone in the darkness on the small bed, saying repeatedly: "Mom, mother, mother... Mom, come here, mother, come here..." The eldest sister was cruel, and just pretended not to Listen, ignore. Suddenly, Xiaoman yelled miserably: "Mom, where are you?" He was already crying——I thought of: "Premier Zhou, where are you?" Immediately, all the instructions in the parenting books It didn't work anymore, her mother rushed over immediately, leaning over to coax her. Xiaoman loves her mother so much that it hurts hard.In the evening, the eldest sister was frying and cooking in the kitchen, when she stumbled over something, it turned out that it was Xiaoman who slipped into the kitchen quietly, and hugged her leg with her little hands enthusiastically. The pot was boiling, and the elder sister had no time to take care of her, so she just shouted: "Xiao Man, go, there is fire, it is dangerous." She was even more reluctant, dragging her mother's legs to imitate the tongue: "There is fire, danger, mother also goes, mother also goes. "I am amazed at her little infatuation, who taught her: the instinct of love is nothing more than sharing blessings, sharing difficulties, and dangers, so hurry up and go together? After the meal, my eldest sister and I chatted while clearing the table, and the chat became lively. The two stood by the table with greasy and dirty bowls and forgot to leave.At this time, Xiaoman, who had been engrossed in watching "The Big Windmill", suddenly straightened up, pointing around with his little hands one by one, muttering: "Grandma sits, grandpa sits, father sits, mother stands." Rolling from the sofa Come down, barefoot, ran to the wall, struggled to lift the small stool, ran all the way over, put the small stool at the elder sister's feet, and pulled her trousers frequently: "Mom, sit down, mom!" sit." The eldest sister was taken aback, and then sat down happily.I was so angry: I'm still standing, why didn't Xiaoman think of me? In the evening, everyone leaned on the sofa watching "Huan Zhu Ge Ge", I was a little tired, so I lay down, and it happened to be on the elder sister's lap.After leaning for a while, Xiaoman came over in a hurry, put his hands on her mother, with a serious expression, and said loudly: "Xiaoman's mother."——ah, I'm jealous.I reasoned with her: "Just take a nap for a while, it doesn't matter." She just stared at me angrily, and repeated stubbornly: "It's Xiaoman's mother." She looked aggrieved.I tried to convince her: "I'm also my aunt's older sister. I've been my aunt's older sister for more than 20 years. Can't my aunt rely on me?" She crawled, crawled, crawled, finally climbed up, and quickly threw herself on her mother, with her small hands clinging to her mother's stomach—that round figure that became fat after giving birth, was not surrounded by her small arms and small hands— —Announced loudly: "It's Xiaoman's mother alone." She made as loud a voice as she could. I suddenly gave up all theories and logic. My eldest sister is not only my older sister, but also my husband's wife, my parents' daughter, and my superior's subordinate.It's as if Xiaoman will grow up eventually, and gradually, she becomes someone's sweetheart, someone's wife, and someone's mother. Life is so vast, we are just the most inconspicuous among the mortals as dense as sand.But when life is just opened like a satin, the mother and the child possess each other completely and thoroughly. She is mother's Xiaoman, and she is Xiaoman's mother, there is nothing else. Thirty years ago, they met at a university in Wuhan, one in Hubei and one in Henan, but they had the same surname.The students booed and said, "You guys recognize a brother and sister." He said, "OK." She said nothing.But at the beginning of the next school year, she said to him: "I told my mother, I recognize a brother!" He was taken aback: "Ah——" The year they were supposed to graduate happened to be the beginning of the "Cultural Revolution". The world was in chaos and no one was in charge, so they just went to an extra sixth year out of thin air.There was no homework that year, and most of the classmates were radicals. There were a handful of "commanders" and "commanders in chief", and I appeared on stage after you sang.They only followed the teacher, diligently, and planted many small trees on both sides of the road in the campus. It was announced before the assignment that all of them went to the difficult places in the frontier. They were all country children with little experience. They were faced with a bunch of names: Fengman, Liupanshui, Yuxi, Zishui... It was like drawing lots to draw the fate of a lifetime. , and behind Qili's name, is there a rich life experience? After all, he was more flexible. He went to the library to borrow an atlas to study, and then went to the teacher's house one by one to consult.Then he ran to her and said, "I asked a lot of people, and they all suggested that Dandong is the best. Shall we go together? I've signed up for you too." She said, "OK." ——This counts as a marriage proposal. Before leaving, take a picture on the Snake Mountain as usual.In the distance, there is a vast river, with a bridge flying from north to south. According to the fashion at the time, he made a gesture of pointing out the country, while she just sat with her knees hugged. In the black and white photo, you can also see her red apple face, two thick Her braids hang down her shoulders.Both of them looked simple, healthy and silly, like the clear sky above their heads. In the summer of the second year, the eldest daughter was born, and a year later, the second daughter also came.At that time, in the quiet town by the Yalu River, the sky was cold, the ground was freezing, and the snow was piled up to the knees. As if bumping headfirst into a wall of ice, breaking two chunks of ice: no.No meat, no fish, no fresh vegetables, five catties of eggs received with the birth certificate, the rest is blank.He will never forget how severe the winter in Northeast China can be. And the man who grew up in the land of fish and rice in the south, in his hometown, women have to drink sweet eggnog and milky Xitou fish soup during confinement.He felt sorry for his daughter's crying and her thinness—so fast, like stepping on the air, falling down a dozen steps—but there was nothing he could do. Worrying in his heart, he did not change his nature of talking, laughing, and making friends.Once I went to a nearby garrison to do business, and saw a young PLA repairing a radio. The tools were spread out on a table, but they could only be dismantled and reassembled, clapping desperately, and shaking vigorously. He really couldn't see it, he said "Let me see", finished the work three times and two times, and the loudspeaker came out melodiously "I lost my pride, Yang Jun lost my willow..." The little PLA was so happy that he held it carefully, like holding a fragile pot My coral flower, thank you again and again.He also left. A few days later, he was in the workshop when the factory office came looking for him urgently. As soon as he entered, someone jumped up and pointed at him and shouted, "That's him." It turned out to be the little PLA from a few days ago.A bearded man next to him said he was the battalion commander.On the table, there are at least a dozen small radios of various kinds. There were too many, and the battalion commander was a little embarrassed, and asked, "Is it inconvenient for you? It's okay if it's inconvenient." But he agreed.I took it home and started working overtime, repairing it day and night, and buying parts out of my own pocket. A week later, the battalion commander looked at those beautiful radios with louder voices, and was so happy that his beard flew up, and he patted him on the shoulder: "We will be friends from now on, if you have difficulties, just talk. Not to mention anything else, at least our army has much more supplies than your local ones." His heart skipped a beat, thinking of her gradually thinning face.On the way to get off work, he lost his mind, stumbled and rolled, and the snowballs flew up with a bang, like the ups and downs in his heart: How can I ask people for things? What is this?But it was the battalion commander who said it on his own initiative, and his wife is in confinement. When he got home, he had made up his mind to talk to the battalion commander tomorrow.But when I wake up in the morning, the hesitation that has been lingering all night hits me again——okay?The battalion commander was on good terms with him, and often went to the factory to chat with him. His bold beard twitched wildly when he laughed, and every time he said, "Just tell me if you have any difficulties." The snow was falling more and more heavily, and one morning when the sun cleared suddenly, when he got up, she was already sitting by the window, and she looked back at him: "Hey, look at the sun, it's yellow, like a poached egg." He froze all over. On the already icy pit. It's not that he doesn't want to be like Lei Feng, but Lei Feng is not married, and he doesn't have an ugly second daughter, her little face is red, she is still babbling when she falls asleep, and at some point she wakes up and starts crying. He didn't know how he said it, every word was like a deserter who was afraid of war, you pushed each other in his mouth, no one was willing to go out first, and the words were so soft, as if they could be melted into the mouth at any time. in the air. The battalion commander readily agreed: "Anything you want, I will pack it in a bag tomorrow." He was stunned for a long time, as if he didn't understand, and suddenly bowed like a middle school student.The next day, he went out before dawn. Halfway through, he felt his feet getting colder and stinging. When he lowered his head, he realized that he had forgotten to change into a pair of thick shoes for going out. Southerners are not very used to the weather in the north, and the severe cold of tens of degrees below zero is definitely not something that a pair of light shoes at home can resist. However, what he thinks in his heart is, what if he goes late? The cold climbed up his legs like a killer vine in the woods hunting its prey.The soles of his feet were in severe pain, and the long road seemed to be paved with sharp knives, making him stagger and bleed with every step.In the vast snow field, the outline of the military camp can be seen from a distance, but it seems to be a mirage, which can never be reached. Holding the battalion commander's hand, he murmured: "Hot water, give me hot water to soak my feet." He leaned against the door exhausted. The whole company was in a mess, hurriedly helped him take off his shoes to check, and rubbed his feet with snow—fortunately, it wasn't frozen.The battalion commander jumped anxiously: "Look, look, change your shoes and come back again..." He said: "I am impatient. The child is not yet full moon." The battalion commander asked, "Son?" He replied, "No, girl." The battalion commander "Oh—" asked again: "First child?" His two legs contracted alternately, and hissed inhalation: "Second brother. The eldest is also a girl." The battalion commander stomped his feet, "Girl's film, is it worth it?" He raised his head: "That's not to say, boys and girls, aren't they all my children?" The rough man was stunned unexpectedly, and for a long time, he wiped his beard habitually. When he left that day, he brought a large piece of bacon, a hairy pig's head like a giant hedgehog, a bundle of hairtail fish, ten catties of eggs... The battalion commander brought a pair of military leather boots as thick as stones, and bags of Animal Rock Candy: "Give it to my nieces." He declined: "The children are too young to eat this." The battalion commander glared: "Aren't you happy to grow up?" With a sound of "sizzling", he cracked an egg. After thinking about it, he cracked a second egg. The air was filled with the strong aroma of poached eggs. He tremblingly held it in front of her. She bent down and smelled it fiercely. He raised his head again, his eyes were full of wandering stars... Thirty years later, when her youngest daughter asked her her favorite food, she answered without hesitation: "Poached eggs." And I am their third and youngest daughter.That pack of crystal clear animal rock candies was sweeter than our three sisters' childhood, and those pair of military boots were worn until we were all grown up, and they were not broken. The small trees they planted on the campus back then have all grown up, and the thick green shade has been gently covering my head throughout my entire university time. After watching TV, he couldn't sleep well all night. He hurriedly called Shenzhen as soon as he got off work the next day. It wasn't until nine o'clock that his son's voice sounded on the other end: "Dad, what's the matter?" He hurriedly asked: "Did you read the weather forecast last night? The cold air is heading south, are you ready for thick clothes? Otherwise, ask your mother to send you..." The son just said casually: "It doesn't matter, it's still warm, let's talk about it when it's really cold." He chatted endlessly, and his son became impatient: "I know, I know, I will buy it right away. Instigate." Put down the phone. He was just about to dial again when the bell rang suddenly. It was his old father who lived in Harbin, with a trembling voice: "The weather forecast says that the weather will change in Wuhan today. Have you added any clothes?" Quickly, he took advantage of the window he forgot to close, and before he could answer, he had already sneezed loudly. The old father was in a hurry: "Have you caught a cold already? Ah, why don't you hear about it? I don't like to add clothes since I was a child..." He started talking about his bad deeds when he was seven years old, and he quickly stopped: "Dad, what's the weather in your place?" The old man replied: "It's not snowing yet." He couldn't help but froze. In the early morning of the cold wave, what he cared about deeply was the southern country where the north wind had not yet arrived, but he forgot to give some to his hometown where the north wind came, and his father who was over 70 years old. Why is the warmest family relationship in the world sometimes so cruel? Generation after generation, we let the future fly, love is the long line in our hands, and every moment, we remember the warmth and coldness at the other end of the long line.But how many people still remember that behind us, there is also a long line of love, and there are also a pair of aging hands holding the long line? Legend has it that Beifeng is the youngest child of the sky, the last one to be released, and the sky told him to go home.But the playful North Wind only cares about moving forward, preferring to wander the earth rather than looking back. Gradually, it can't find its way home. So whenever the north wind blows, the sky has such a sad face, and there are some low whimpers in the wind, which we have never heard. Are we all the north wind that refuses to turn back when we grow up? He thought that when the next cold wave came, he would send greetings and instructions to Shenzhen before the north wind, but his first phone call should be to Harbin. In fact, I had already passed by, and Lao Wang, who was in the same office as me, turned back, took the colorful paper from the boy who delivered the advertisement, and said seriously: "Thank you." Taking a peek, it turned out to be some "unspeakable secrets" and "good recipes for the world". We looked at each other and snickered, Lao Wang felt it, raised his head, and explained: "It's not me, it's my son." 我们更是笑出声来，他等我们笑过了，才说：“我儿子，不是在北京读大学吗，上次写信回来，说找了个勤工俭学的工作，就是给人家发广告。” 我们都愕了一下。老王圆圆胖胖笑起来：“信上说，可难了。好多人从身边走过去，看都不看一眼，有人勉强接了，立刻就扔，还得捡回来，重新派出去。两百张，要站十几个小时才发得完，才五块钱。 “后来我给他回信，说，男孩子，无论怎么苦都应该坚持下来，可是我跟他妈……”老王一张脸仍是笑笑的，声音却不知不觉低落，“几个晚上都睡不好。” 他扬一扬手中的广告：“都是人家的儿女啊。”那灰暗的薄透纸悉悉响了起来。 我们都不由自主静了下来。 只是这样简单、这样平实的一句话，可是那个把在路上哭泣的儿童送回家的陌生人，在生死来袭刹那将救生衣让给年轻士兵的将军，甚或那个喜欢给邻家孩子一颗糖，让他的一天都变得十分甜蜜的老伯伯，在他们心底，是不是，都有这样的一句话呢？ 前方，又是一个抱着大叠广告纸的少年，而我们一一接下他递过来的希望，并且郑重地回他：“谢谢。” 抱紧啊，千万不能松手 她一直觉得母亲不喜欢她，不然，为什么还会想生一个弟弟呢？ 父亲在省城打工，家里就只有她们两个人，母亲的肚子越来越大了，然而每当母亲叫她帮忙做事时，她总是装着没有听见，宁愿溜到门外小树下玩。 那棵小树就在她家的窗下，是她出生那年种下的，今年也是七岁，却还只有杯口般粗细，树叶稀落。她看着这棵细伶伶骨瘦如柴的小树，想起弟弟出生后自己会遭到怎样的嫌弃，泪水不知不觉地就涌了出来。 那晚，是阴历六月十六，月色明如水洗，她偶然看见，远方有一条黑线正迅速地推进前来，正转身喊母亲：“妈妈，你看那是什么？”洪水已在顷刻间席卷而来。 哐一声，门窗尽破，巨大的洪水直泄而入，来势汹汹，她吓得大哭起来。母亲一把抱起她，奋力举出窗口，水流急劲，把她全身打得火辣辣地疼，求生的本能让她一把抓住小树。房子上每一块砖、每一片瓦都在颤抖，母亲拖着笨拙的五个月身孕的身体爬出窗口，终于也抓住小树。 一切只发生在不可想象的瞬间。洪水迅速盖过她的双脚，母亲用一只手用力把她往上抬，一直抬过自己的头顶。而她们身后，洪水已将房屋完全吞噬。 大水里，小树是她们唯一的依靠。然而那样纤细幼弱的生命如何承担得了两个人的重量?急流里，小树的腰肢深深弯下去，像一叶风帆般摇晃抖动，枝桠发出破碎的声音。 母亲深深看了她一眼，然后放开了手。 激流里，母亲浮浮沉沉的身体迅即成了一个小黑点儿，却还挣扎着回头喊道：“抱紧啊，千万不能松手……” 她还不明白到底是发生了什么，世界就已全盘改变，她只能对着夜空徒劳地哭叫：“妈妈，妈妈呀……”水势急速上升，淹没她的腰部。突然，她觉得手臂上一阵冰凉，低头一看，不知哪来那么多的蛇正沿着她的身体游行而上，很快地，小树的每一根树枝上都爬满了蛇。 她吓得尖叫起来。月亮渐入中天，照得四周一片汪洋，她又冷又饿又害怕，嗓子哭哑了也没人听见，却一直牢记母亲最后的嘱咐，紧紧地抱住小树，一刻也不曾松开。 十个小时之后，从太阳升起的方向，开来了小舟。当解放军将她救上船时，这个七岁的小女孩儿，已经衣衫尽破，小手弯曲僵硬，许久许久都伸不开…… 她是灾区第一个被救者，可是她的母亲，却永永远远睡在失踪人员的名单里，连同她的从来不曾叫过一声姐姐的弟弟。 或者，她要到很多年之后，才会真正明白母亲最后的一眼里所蕴含的全部深意。而她在漫长的一生里，耳边都会时时响起母亲的呼唤：“抱紧啊，千万不能松手……”