Chapter 66 Barabbas: The Last Words of Jesus

They set me free and chose him.So he ascended, but I fell. They arrested him to make him a Passover sacrifice. I was unchained and walked after him with the crowd, but I was but a living man walking to his own grave. I would have liked to flee to the desert, where shame would be burned in the hot sun. But I walk with those who chose him for my sins. When they crucified him, I stood by. I'm watching, I'm listening, but I seem to be out of my body. The thief who was nailed to his right hand said to him, "Are you also bleeding with me, Jesus of Nazareth?" Jesus replied, "If it hadn't been for the nail that nailed my hand, I would have reached out to shake your hand. We are nailed here together. If only they would bring your cross closer to me."

Then he looked down at his mother and a young man standing beside her. He said, "Mother, look at your son standing beside you!" "Mother, behold the man who will bring my blood to the north!" When he heard the cries of the women of Galilee, he said, "Behold, they weep, but I am thirsty" "I was held too high for their tears." "I will not quench my thirst with vinegar and gall." Then he opened his eyes wide to the sky and said, "Father, why have you forsaken us?" Then he said with compassion, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they have done!"

When he had finished, I seemed to see everyone prostrate before God, begging for forgiveness for having this man stabbed. He said again in a loud voice, "Father, into your hands I commit my soul!" Finally, he held his head up and said, "It's over now, but only on this mountain." He closed his eyes. At this time, lightning tore through the dark sky, and there was a thunder in the sky. I know now that those who killed him and set me free left me with endless torment. His torture lasted only an hour. And I shall remain crucified till the end of my days.