Chapter 4 love near nirvana

Some people say that the new year is the "year pass", and the older you are, the more you feel that the new year is a checkpoint; it seems to be a cliff on both sides of the bank, with only a small gap in the middle, and the current is rushing down, moving forward along the river of the years, the old It took a year to sink in the turbulent water. Whenever the new year comes, I will recall all kinds of scenes of the New Year in my childhood.Almost before the age of 20, every time the winter solstice passed, I looked forward to the new year with excitement, like a green grass waiting to bloom, and then it was a holiday, with a wild heart going to the sky, and then the hearth. Warmth, the sound of firecrackers, a thick stack of lucky money, and the noise of shouting and gambling with brothers.However, the happiest thing is that when I clearly see that I am one year older, my mood is like seeing that I am a baby swallow that is about to leave the nest.

After turning 20, Chinese New Year is significantly different.During the night vigil behind the fire, I will drink soju alone, thinking of all the things in the past year, I will start to have setbacks in the world, I will start to face emotional changes, I will start to know that apart from happiness, there are still worries during the years.Sometimes I see my parents going around to collect flowers for the New Year before New Year's Eve, or seeing the harvest is not good, the farmers are still laughing and preparing for a New Year, which makes me know that the New Year is also sad. After twenty-five, after thirty, the age really can't hold back even the heavy New Year's money. The Chinese New Year is just the time when the past and the past come to mind, and I start to know the fate, as if the fate has laid many traps , we just walk forward step by step. There are many things we love that must be let go when the time comes, and many things we hate will disappear naturally. It doesn’t matter if we go fast or slow. The drops are disappearing.

Sometimes I think, why look forward to the new year so much before the age of 20, but worry about the disappearance of the old years after the age of 20?In the end, I came to a conclusion that before the crown ceremony, we were "short days in the past, and long days in the future".After becoming an adult, it becomes "the future is short, and the past is bitter". What a different mood! The most unbearable thing is that no matter what my mood is, the wall clock hanging on the wall always swings the pendulum vigorously at twelve o'clock on New Year's Eve, knocking out clear or low twelve rings, so ruthless, and That's absolutely true, every New Year, I always think of wrestling with the clock arm, hoping to make it turn backwards, but it can't be done, so I get drunk, and then make up my mind: I must use one year as two years, Use twenty-four hours as if they were forty-eight hours.

Thinking of the New Year’s Eve last year, I had a New Year’s Eve dinner, and I was walking around in the study, looking for a book to read. For some reason, I picked up a Buddhist scripture and read about the process of life and death of sentient beings. "Love" is actually in harmony with the mood of the Chinese New Year.It says that there are three kinds of cravings: one is lust, which is the desire for sensual enjoyment; the second is love, which is the desire for life and existence;I think Chinese New Year before the age of twenty is the first two, and after the age of twenty is the third.

Of course, that Buddhist scripture also talks about "Nirvana". It doesn't use auspiciousness, kindness, safety, purity, refuge, the other shore, peace, and tranquility to talk about Nirvana positively, but it says "cutting love and approaching Nirvana".What a state this is. A person can sever his craving anytime and anywhere, and he will come out of a desperate situation, and Nirvana will naturally be in front of him. I am afraid that changing the old year for a new one is also a kind of severing love. When Sakyamuni preached, he used a metaphor to talk about "cutting off love". He said: "A man encountered a large body of water while traveling. The shore on this side was full of dangers, but the other side of the water was safe and sound. He thought: "The water is very big, and there are many dangers on this side, but there is no danger on the other side. There is no boat to cross, and no bridge to work. I can't help but gather grass and leaves, and make my own raft, so I can safely board the other side." The raft, leaning on the raft, he got to the other side safely, and he thought, 'This raft will do me a lot of good, I might as well put it on my head, or on my back, as I like.'"

After citing this example, Sakyamuni pointed out that this person's behavior was wrong because he could not stop suffering, so how should he deal with it?The Buddha said: "You should drag the raft to the beach, or park it somewhere, let it float, and then continue the journey, no matter what. Because the raft is used for crossing, not for carrying, people of the world! You should Understand that good things should be discarded, let alone bad things?" Because of reading that Buddhist scripture, my whole thinking this year has changed completely, and it also made me have some visible achievements in the most limited time because I dared to let go. It doesn't matter, what matters is to be brave enough to let go, so that our sentient life body can radiate the greatest light in the new beginning.

Nirvana is really not far away. If you can have less nostalgia, less remembrance, less regret, and less mother-in-law during the New Year's Eve, then you will pass through the cliffs and step on the water, and the open sky will be in front of you. ——January 20, 1982