Chapter 66 Huang Laoxie collects great words

Huang Laoxie collects great words Feng Tang Collection is a common nature of animals and people. I have seen a documentary where hard-working male birds build nests on tree branches, and then collect all kinds of colorful and different textures for embellishment, from glass beads to plastic paper, everything.Then ask the mother bird to look, the mother bird looks left and right, pacing back and forth, like a middle-aged man on a business trip wandering around the colorful neon door of Mengjiaojiao Hair Salon in a county-level city.If the female bird thinks that the male bird's collection is not bad, she will go into the nest to engage the male bird, otherwise she will fly away.At the end of the documentary, a lazy male bird appeared. It didn’t care about collecting. It watched the female bird get into the nest with a collection. It got angry. It took advantage of the male bird with a collection to leave. It messed up other people's nests.

The same is true for people's collections.When I was young, I synthesized magnetic discs, cigarette cases, and match skins.One, Lu, two, Zhao, three, Dianwei, these three people are strong and can fight. Their match skins are of the highest level, and they are the hardest to find. Occasionally, they have to use violence, and they can only get them by pumping the mouths of low-grade boys with big mouths.When I grow up, after eating and drinking, I have two or three coins left, such as blue and white porcelain, Hongshan jade, and furniture from Ming and Qing Dynasties.One yellow, two black, three red and four white, huanghuali and red sandalwood are of the highest grade in the old furniture, and they are of good quality. You have to carry AK-47 to extract sacks of banknotes from the four major banks to make up enough money.

Huang Laoxie Jiwei does not go to Antique City and Panjiayuan, Huang Laoxie Jiwei's collections are strange and confusing.Since 1999, he has collected his dictionaries every year, accompanied by illustrations and texts. By 2002, four dictionaries have been published (the publication of books generally lags by one to one and a half years): "Read My Lips", "A Passport to Kitsch", "Extremely Sexy", and "Offensive Beauty". I haven't heard that Huang Laoxie Jiwei has other bad hobbies of prodigal wealth, including corruption collection in a narrow sense, so he must be a person with extremely high understanding.Huang Laoxie Jiwei knows the main tricks of collecting.

For example, one of the tricks is to find treasures from garbage, and find a basket of Zhang Ziyi from the streets of Beijing.Xiao Cui, a villain in the antique city, is a chivalrous jade merchant, talking about ancient jade collections is like Buffett talking about buying and selling stocks: Don’t follow the trend, jade brands are now ridiculously expensive in the mid-Qing Dynasty, and they are still rushing up at this time, which is sick.Pick something that is undervalued.Now, let me tell you, there are three kinds of goods to be collected, first, well-planted sword ornaments, second, plain wares from the ancient culture period, and third, jade rings under ten centimeters.

As far as I know, Huang Laoxie Jiwei is the first person in history to collect words.Feng Menglong collected folk pornographic songs in the late Ming Dynasty, such as "Wu Geng Zhuan" and "Eighteen Touches", and finally compiled them into "Guangzhier".During the period of the Republic of China, Zhou Zuoren collected dirty jokes from citizens, and determined to compare with "Xiao Lin Guang Ji", but he pondered for a long time, and finally did not dare to publish a collection, and the number of privately printed copies is unknown.However, these are not collections of words in the strict sense, and the style is generally low. Huang Laoxie Jiwei not only focuses on yellow, but does not even mainly focus on yellow.

For example, the second trick, persistence is victory, and persistence embodies strength.Huang Laoxie's Collection Wei has been written for six years and has published four volumes.Updike wrote a "Run Rabbit," a "Run Rabbit."But by the time he wrote "The Rabbit Comes Back" and "The Rabbit Is Rich," Updike was a character.After that, seven books about rabbits will be published: "Rabbit Married", "Rabbit Sad", "Rabbit Is Old"... No matter whether it is garbage or jade, Updike is close to immortality. After a hundred years, when others mention it Rabbit, think of Updike.High output, rich collection and other benefits, according to Xiao Cui, a jade merchant who is a villain and a hero, said that among sword ornaments, there are four sets of sword heads, sword grids, sword noses, and sword rings. If you have forty or fifty yuan of sword ornaments Well, it’s easy for you to make a complete set, and if you make a complete set, you can sell it very expensive. This is common sense. For example, the twelve girls named Twelve Music Square, when you take them apart, they become hair-washing girls.Moreover, if someone lacks one of the four sets, you can match him, and you can also sell a large price.I first tried the package at Huang Laoxie Jiwei.I bought "Extremely Beautiful", and Huang Laoxie Jiwei gave me "The Beauty of Offense". In the Chinese bookstore in Dongsi, I saw "Please Read My Lips" and "Kitsch Pass". The old books are twice the original price , I still bought it, a set of four, and all of them are first editions. When the time comes, I will get Huang Laoxie Jiwei's autograph, which is valuable for collection.

For example, the third trick is to determine a simple and practical collection standard.There are only two words for Huang Laoxie's collection of words: fun.Life is too short, so find something you like to eat, eat more, find something fun, and play more.Things that are not fun, no matter how useful they are, cannot be immortal and are not worth collecting.As long as it is fun and interesting, Huang Laoxie Jiwei has no taboos and accepts everything: street signs, tabloid headlines, slips of the tongue by TV commentators, lyrics by dubious singers, articles on the Internet that do not read the rules and sparkling signature files, The pornographic jokes and prank text messages on the mobile phone are just like Sun Yat-sen, who is not famous all over the world, solicits sponsors everywhere, and when he visits the dock, his attitude is: a scholar who has read thousands of books and traveled thousands of miles, has no eyes for high and low, and refuses to If you don't give sponsorship for an interview, don't marry me the yellow flower girl hidden at home, it's because the princes and businessmen don't have eyes.Huang Laoxie’s collection of fun is fun in a broad sense. It can challenge your mind and impact your emotions. It is fun. Just like what Ai Weiwei said, people have seven emotions and six desires. Joy and comfort are just an emotion, and people should not pursue and experience them forever. Happy and comfortable.

Huang Laoxie Jiwei has a very ordinary small camera (digital or optical, unknown). He wandered the streets of Beijing and saw such words as "Human Leather Products Distribution Department" and "Zen Cool" in black and white characters in thin gold body. and so on, just stop and take a picture, and save it for future illustrations.Now the "Zen Cool" on the East Third Ring Road has been demolished, and Huang Laoxie's photos of Jiwei already have historical value.I asked Huang Laoxie Jiwei why he didn't buy a better camera, and his answer was similar to that of Bresson.Bresson only used a 50mm fixed-focus standard lens all his life. "The important thing is not the machine, but my perspective."

Huang Laoxie Jiwei has a very professional pen.Born in the Chinese language class of Beijing Normal University, he has presided over the column for many years.Huang Laoxie Jiwei's commentary provides some framework for the words he collected, explains the background, and points out the subtleties, so that people who are wandering around the street without cameras, eyes, and heads can understand it casually.It is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to write a text that speaks of the beauty of the text itself.Letters are not like numbers.Numbers are bitches, they are traitors, they cost money, they get punished, numbers can do anything you want them to do, give you any evidence you want.Words themselves are the greatest illusion. Zen masters of all ages have long concluded that they forget their words when they are complacent, and forget their thoughts when they are too much. Direct description is a dead end.Huang Laoxie Jiwei is an ashes-level figure, his usual method is not to praise the girl for her beauty, but to say that the old man who walked up to her took a peek at the girl, and couldn't help but put on his lips with a sharp tongue.

In addition to collecting funny words on the street, on the Internet, on mobile phones, in newspapers, and in people's hearts, Huang Laoxie Jiwei also planted roses in his yard to give to his wife. Blue flowers, Huang Laoxie Jiwei also educated his sons named Huang Zuosi and Huang Youxiang: "Our couple asked Zuo Si to recite the following text message aloud: the shore is green, the shore is lush green , the shore is luxuriant and green...you think, come on, read the following..." Huang Laoxie Jiwei also publishes such fun and popular books as "Little Pig McDull" and "Goosebumps".

Seeing Huang Laoxie Jiwei walking slowly on the trail leading to Niubi in his own way, with immortality in his heart, playing with words, I am envious, just like when I was reading the Analects of Confucius, I was envious of the man with a positive attitude and eating habits in the back alleys. Healthy Yen Hui.I said I was going to write an essay called "The Eight Great Masters of the Tang and Song Dynasties and Huang Laoxie". He said that I don't use dirty words when swearing, and I am not happy to play like this. I said I hate the ancients who don't see you and me. 2004/9/6