Chapter 93 where to go

where to go Wu Pingying Huoli Sijun In recent years, I have been so busy with my family's food and clothing, and my duties, that I have no time to sit down and think about it; I seem to have everything in my heart, but also seem to have nothing.When Ping met, he often sighed at my silence; he decided it was a step backward.Yes, I haven't been able to read new books for two or three years, and I've been greatly separated from the current ideological world; just like water without a source, how can it flow like a torrent?Fortunately, I still read newspapers constantly and live in Beijing, so I won't be isolated from the world after all.Besides, Mr. Lu Xun said it well: "China is now entering a great era." No matter what kind of small person you are, this era is like lightning or like a gossamer, and you will always catch a glimpse from time to time.It has such power that it never lets go of a human being from its ghostly grasp; you cannot but feel more or less threatened by it.Probably because Beijing, where I live now, is far away from the flames or vortex of the times, I still can't say what the threat is; but I often feel a shadow that cannot be removed, which is true.I just want to find a way that I can walk; I just want to find a way that "I" can walk.But where to go?Or, where to go!

It is this that I am hesitant about. Saying "Where to go?" means there are ways to go; just choose one.But this is not easy, and it is different from the old so-called determination.It doesn't matter if you aspire to focus on the future after all.Now I talk about choosing a path, but once you choose, you have to move.In this age, the future is only "romantic" as the past is only "corruption."It teaches us that only the present is reliable, the present is rich in content, and the present is worth fighting for; the present is strength and authority, like steel.But for a person like me, is there really a way out now?Do you really have the freedom and leisure to choose your path?Sometimes I doubt this "yes", so I feel terrified: where do I go!When writing about brave generals and chivalry in old novels, when chasing or besieging their opponents, they often shouted, "Where to go!" Capture or die.Surrender, etc. can also be said to be the way, but it is not what the opponent wants to choose.Sometimes I feel this kind of forced and besieged mood: Although I don't feel the panic of being there, I feel that the shadow in my heart is getting bigger and bigger, and I am quite at a loss.

three impressions I know the origin of this feeling.When the north came to Shanghai in the spring, the seeds had already been planted; then it gradually developed, and until today, it is like a big shade tree with twisted roots, which are not easy to remove.There was no revolution in Shanghai at that time; I was only on a day when tram workers went on strike.I walked from Baoshan intersection to Tianhou Palace Bridge, and the street was crowded with people; this is not usually the case.I immediately felt strange; although it was sunny, it seemed to be living in the rainy season.Later, I took a rickshaw from Eryangjing Bridge to Haining Road, passing many lively markets.Like dense clouds, like waves, like flames, pedestrians are bustling everywhere;Sitting in the car, I naturally didn't want to struggle by myself, but seeing the crowd coming and going, moving back and forth, back and forth, I couldn't help but secretly help them.It's quite like an American football game, when many strong people are pressed on one person and become a pile of meat; I feel tense as if I was suffocating.It was that night that I met Ying.I said that Shanghai is different from Beijing after all; on the one hand, it seems much more interesting—Shanghai is modern.Ying nodded.But for people in Shanghai, I’m afraid I’m used to seeing them by then; let Di know that I should say that I’m “uncommon and strange”.

The next day was my departure day, and the fire came to see me off.We walked on Four Horse Road, talking about literature from Shanghai.Fire is a thoughtful person.He gave me the gist of a critical essay I was about to undertake.He divided the current literature into four schools.The first is irony or sarcasm; the second is the description of rural life; the third is the description of sexual desire;He thought that all four were the literature of Pet # y Bourgeoisie.One is gossip.The second is to write about people's ignorance; I am watching coldly from outside the circle.4 Although he intends to speak for the Proletariat, his own class consciousness still cannot get rid of; it is only a disguised form of "government and benevolence", and it is only a cheap sympathy.The decadent mood written by San still takes the material civilization of Bourgeoisie3 as the background, and it is also a product of Pet#yBourgeoisie.Of these four factions, except for the third, all speak for themselves.Fire disapproved of our literature except to speak for ourselves; he thought it most gracious to speak our own words.As for the so-called social literature, he thought it was meaningless.He said that the demise of Bourgeoisie is a matter of time, and Pet#yBourgeoisie needless to say will go with it.On the one hand, the proletariat has gradually sprouted; we still need to use the few tears that are pampered and well-fed (naturally, a comparative term) to appeal to them for some superficial and specious sufferings. Their dismissiveness is natural. .And we ourselves are already on the way to perdition, so this kind of self-indulgent appeal is useless.So it's better to speak your own words.He said that we should try our best to express or expose all aspects of ourselves; in order to realize a new world as soon as possible, it is not meaningless for us to promote our own demise in this way. "Promote my own demise", this sentence made me feel embarrassed; but when I realized that this is also a helpless thing, I felt completely lost.It’s been a year since I’ve been away from the fire. For some reason, he hasn’t written this article yet; but I keep chewing on his last sentence.

① English: petty bourgeoisie. ② English: Proletariat. ③ English: bourgeoisie. One night after arriving in Beijing, Jun Li made a surprise visit.It was a very good moonlit night, and we walked back and forth several times along a secluded path by the pond.We walked slowly and talked quickly.He persuaded me to join the party.He said people like me should work with them.The scope of work is not fixed; politics, military affairs are of course yes, academics, literature, and art are also possible—you can try to do as you like.He finally said that in the future, if he leaves the party, he will not be able to develop his life; even if he has a job, he may not be easy to find.His words were very earnest.At that time, I told him my hesitation, the contradiction between my character and the times; I said I would discuss it with a few acquaintances.Later, Ping said that it was not necessary; Ying sent a letter saying that the present era really taught people to wander; Huo's letter also said that it must be like this in the future.So I had no choice but to tell Mr. Li that I think it's better to be detached for the time being.When this detachment will last, I am not sure.It would be a good thing for me if I can remain detached for a long time.But what if you can't?I was so confused again.

times and me This age is a new age.It is difficult to draw the boundaries of the era; but I have reason to count this era from ten years ago.In my eyes, we have had three steps in this decade: from self-liberation to national liberation, and from national liberation to Class Struggle; , from a political revolution to an economic revolution.When I say three steps, I mean the sequence of their succession, not the causal relationship; when it comes to causal relationship, it is not so simple.In fact, the second and third steps only cover the past year; it is not out of the question to say that the previous nine years were a period of gestation or transition.In these three steps we see two distinct spirits.In the first step, what we want is liberation, some are freedom, and what we do is academic research; in the second and third steps, what we want is revolution, some are autocratic parties, and what we do is military operations and party programs. doctrine propaganda.The difference between these two spirits may be the difference between ideal and reality.

① English: class struggle. In times of liberation, what we discover is personal worth.We curse the family, we curse society, to lift the individual above everything as the center of the universe.We say that the individual is the standard of all evaluations; once we recognize this standard, we must redefine the value of all traditions.This is the heyday of literature and philosophy.Although there are so-called common people's thoughts, they are only occasional pity, and they are only philanthropy.Although social science is also valued, compared with literature and philosophy, it is far behind.This is probably due to the drastic changes in the economic situation. In the past three or four years, the sales market of social science books, especially those about social revolution, has gradually increased, while literature and philosophy have been suppressed; until the outbreak of the revolution.In this revolutionary period, all value is attributed to practical actions; the guns of the sergeants, the pen and tongue of the Propaganda Department are two vanguards.As long as some leaflets and pamphlets with similarities and differences are sufficient, there is no need for books on social revolution, not to mention literature and philosophy.During this period "all power belongs to the party".In theory, not only politics, but the military should be managed by the party; all your life should also be party-oriented.The Party's law is an iron law, except for observing and obeying, you can't say "no". It's called "romantic".This is enough to hinder work and cannot be tolerated by the party.A few years ago, "romantic" was a good name, but now it only means irony and curse. "Romance" is to let one's vigorous emotions vent as much as possible, which expands oneself.But what is needed now is work, vigorous emotion is untrained, and cannot produce practical effects; this is an urgent time, and there is no need for such unurgent things.Sustained, resilient, organized work going forward under the authority of reason: this is the teaching of the day.The Party is the embodiment of this intellectual authority.What the Party requires of individuals is sacrifice, unconditional sacrifice.One has to live according to the Party's way, and it is impossible to think of one's own ideas.

Although the progress of the revolution is chaotic, and sometimes even loses the significance of the revolution; but in the dark it seems that Class Struggle is very violent.As long as we admit the facts, whether you agree or not, this Struggle is constantly going on there.What is coming is finally coming, no matter how much you curse and oppress, it is useless.This is a world wave.Of course, I dare not say at all when and how this Struggle will end as far as China is concerned; as for the whole world, I have no way of guessing.But maybe this is unfounded worry?I always imagined the demise of our class, as the fire said.I may not be able to see the coming of this demise, but our prosperity in the past is gradually going down the road of decline, and we can always watch it with our own eyes.This decadence can't be hoped to pass under the pretense of peace; even if it's called Struggle, when it comes to hand-to-hand combat, it can't be said that it will show its ferocious face and use vicious methods.The time when guns and bombs and blood and flesh mingle will come anyway.The recent incident in Guangzhou, where so many people were killed and so many houses were burned, may be the beginning of the Great Terror!

Naturally, we say, this destruction is cruel, and only cruel!We say those people are thugs who are destroying our best thing - culture! "We curse them!" "We want revenge!" But these are our words, and the value is judged by our standards; and it goes without saying that our standards are based on our class consciousness.They are trying to overthrow all of this class, if there is any standard for evaluation?Our curses and venom are only "our" curses and venom, and they are unknowingly necessary.They can say that this is a necessary process to create a new world!They have their own evaluation criteria, their class consciousness is reflected in it, and they also have their own theoretical completion.We're just cursing, resentment, it doesn't matter; it depends on the general Strug#le to know.Unfortunately, I feel that the strength of our Struggle seems to be weak; the free and selfish development in all aspects has lost its concentrated momentum.They are the new tigers, and they go forward to fight hand-to-hand without any scruples; the real autocratic discipline condenses them into an iron-like force.Although they don't have enough experience now, they have repeatedly retreated; but under such a social system and situation, their number of people can only increase day by day, and their power will accumulate more and more; they don't necessarily care about temporary setbacks and sacrifices.And our foundation, although I don't want to say it, is bound to happen and will gradually become empty; just like an old building, although it is often repaired, after all, it is old and will eventually be knocked down by the wind and rain one day!What was our culture like then?Should it be greatly deformed?Naturally we feel pity; how empty and barbarous it is!But the truth doesn't have to be emptiness and barbarism, they'll just be glad to be knocked down by old age!Just as we took it for granted that many cultures in history no longer exist, they will see us the same way, right?This is the so-called "the future looks at the present, and the present looks at the past!" We regard the abolition of the monarchy as a happy event, and they see the abolition of the people's government as a happy event, right?At that time, our perishing is just like a monarch's perishing hatred. In the eyes of nature, it is just a common thing.

Our class, as I foresee it, is heading towards destruction; but why should I follow?Why don't you change your life and be willing to be a laggard of the times?I have thought about this more than once.I dissected myself and saw that I was a person unworthy of revolution!This is partly due to my character, mostly due to my quality; in short, it can be said that it is determined by fate. ——Naturally, revolutionaries are unwilling to use the term fate.In terms of character, I am a follower, I can only follow but not lead; Trendy, too.This character makes me feel contradictory in many situations; the reason why I am middle-aged and can't do anything is because of this.On the one hand, although I was not born into a wealthy family, nor was I born into a poetic family, and I have never been richer than it is true; but I can't help but say that I was born in Petty Bourgeoisie.I'm not a standout, I can't be ahead of my time.I have lived in Petty Bourgeoisie for thirty years, and my sentiments, hobbies, thoughts, reasoning, and ways of acting are all Petty Bourgeoisie's;Without Petty Bo urgeoisie, I have no flesh and blood.I also know that some people who are older than me, who were originally in Petty Bourgeoisie, have changed to Proletariat.But I think this may be a genius, and I am not; this may be speculation, and I cannot.Before crossing the road, I can only hesitate.I'm not superstitious about Pet#yBourgeoisie, it's just that you can't help but feel a little reluctant, and in fact you can't.I grew up in the city, and I have never held a plow, picked up a hoe, been exposed to poisonous sun, or been exposed to heavy rain.I have never sawed wood or hammered iron; as for running machines, I have no training or patience.I cannot foresee the taste of these jobs; and even if they had a taste of which I do not now know, my physical strength is too weak to pass at last.What's more, my wife and children are all pointing at me to live, and I can't bear to give up and go my own way.So it's impossible for me to change my life, that is, it's impossible to get involved in Proletariat.From one point of view, it can be said that most of the time I am unable to do it, and the small part is still not doing it; but it can also be said that I am not doing it because I can’t.Without new life, how can there be new power to destroy and create?Therefore, the vanguard of the new era definitely has no place for me!But if I want to live, I can't live without a basis; so looking back, I have no choice but to "preserve myself with my broom".Naturally, if the wheel of karma turns sharply and a new situation suddenly comes, I may be forced to do things that cannot be done, and that is unknown.How was it then?I think it will be exhausting!If you resist and don't do it, you will starve to death.But when a class is dying, what does a person matter?I also don't need to worry about the scorpion sting.

The Proletariat allows so-called Pet#yBourDgeo isie companions in the course of the revolution; which I am also entitled to.But I am also a very selfish person; to be honest, I am not very interested or worried about people other than myself.Even wives, children, mostly because "the raw rice is already ripe", they have to use cheap sympathy to maintain their relationship.For Prole Dtariat, this cheap sympathy is the best I can have, and it doesn't help them in the slightest.Huo said it well: sympathy is not revolution; strictly speaking, non-revolution can be said to be in the same category as counter-revolution!As for going beyond sympathy and participating in some easy actions, it is quite difficult for me.A person who doesn't even have the heart to take care of his wife and children, how can he have the leisure and energy to take care of other people who he feels are irrelevant?What's more, the companions were just waving flags and shouting, and someone else was leading them.They just follow, from afar; on the one hand, they still retain their class character.This result is still inevitable with the destruction of the whole class, but it can be later.And I hide lazily in my class, content with lazy sympathy, and at best perish.From my selfish point of view, I will perish together, so I don't have to force myself to do anything.But for the sake of one's own class, there will be no such thing as standing up to Struggle with Proletariat.If I can be called counter-revolutionary, it is in a negative sense.I am walking on the road of weakness and destruction; even if I do not die, I am a laggard.Criticize as much as you want, I am such a person. our way There must be more than forty million people living in China in this era—the number of Bourdgeoisie and Pet # yBourgeoisie must be quite a few.How do these people live?What paths did they take?I think those who are unconscious are still following the old path for the time being.They are either superstitious about the old way, such as old people, gentlemen, etc.; or they have not found a new way, just blindly follow the tradition, such as farmers and workers in the backcountry, etc. - the waves of the times have not rushed to them violently, they are Not aware of any new needs.But the days of old people, gentlemen, etc. are not many, and the torrent of the times will finally flood every pore on the ground; so these two kinds of things are only temporary in my opinion.What I want to mention now is other people; most of these people live in the cities.Their first life is political, revolutionary or counter-revolutionary.These two opposite sides are actually based on class background, I don't think we need to hide it.In terms of the current situation: on the one hand, although there is only a fragmented Struggle, there is a tidy front; on the other hand, although it is a general mobilization, it is divided and the banners are divided, and they are still somewhat feudal.The looseness and unevenness of their battle lines have gradually become apparent.Temporary success or failure, I certainly dare not say; but the final fate seems to have been decided, as discussed above. What I want to express is another kind of life of these people - culture.Needless to say, this culture is urban.Speaking of China's cities today, I think the most lively and important are Guangzhou, Hankou, Shanghai, and Beijing. Although Nanjing is a new capital, it seems to be very monotonous until now; Shanghai is really more important than Nanjing. Many, even in terms of politics, the same is true, as can be seen from the political situation in the south in the past few months.If you allow me to make rough distinctions, I want to say that Guangzhou and Hankou are the political cities of this era; Shanghai and Beijing are also political cities, but at the same time they represent the culture of this era, which is different from Guangzhou and Hankou.They are the two cultural centers of this era.I don't want to talk about politics, so I don't want to talk about Guangzhou and Hankou; besides, I'm not familiar with these two cities, and I haven't even seen the ruins yet.Beijing is where I have lived for the past two years, so I have seen and heard more recently.Although I haven't seen the new weather in Shanghai yet, I know bits and pieces from newspapers, magazines, and friends from the south.I would like to point out that those people I mentioned are walking those roads with regard to these two places.I'm not trying to judge with a straight face, I'm just expressing my own feelings; although what I know is rudimentary, maybe it's okay. When the old era is collapsing and the new situation has not yet arrived, the decline and turmoil make everyone panic.Revolutionaries are those who cause this panic unintentionally or on purpose, with the exception of nature.Only by participating in the revolution or counter-revolution can this panic be resolved.When unable or unwilling to participate in this practical action, there is only one way to escape temporarily.This is a peaceful pretense, to cover up the panic, and make myself anesthetized and forget to go.Pleasure is the most effective narcotic; academia, literature, and art are also places that can kill energy.So those who can't do anything, I think they will hide in these three roads.In this way, practical politics can be completely ignored.Although this is only temporary, in the end, there will always be a day when you can't ignore the confusion; but since the day of final settlement has not yet arrived, what is the futile panic and waste of delay?I am so happy to forget for a while and do something I love to do; even if I die in turn in the future, I will finally have a satisfactory life, and my life will not be in vain.This situation is a historical fact; I think we are now more or less giving a new example to this historical fact.However, I have to point out that academics, literature, and art have also made great progress in a prosperous era. It is not surprising that we have followed the trend; It's worth thinking about. Shanghai is originally a place of pleasure; the so-called "Ten Mile Foreign Market" is often called flamboyantly.Because of its prosperous business, it has become the place where capital is concentrated, and it can be said that it is the Chinese headquarters of Bourgeoisie; on the one hand, due to the relationship between international transportation, it has also imported the most material civilization from the West.Therefore, the demand for enjoyment is more urgent than elsewhere, and the methods of enjoyment are also changing with each passing day.This has always been the case.But what about Shanghai in this day when the soldiers are constantly in trouble and the people are destitute?As far as I know, the revolution doesn't seem to have changed anything;For example, the careers of Dahua Hotel and Yunshang Company are at their peak, which shows the madness of Bourgeoiseie and Pet#yBourgeoisie; bribery, if what I heard is good, Yunshang Company is still presided over by a few celebrities from Pet#yBourgeoisie. It was only opened after the revolution.They seem to be offering this hedonistic vibe.If basic necessities of life can be said to be a part of culture, Da Hua Hotel and Ella Company, etc., can fully represent the culture of Shanghai.You say this is a glorified life.But how many people can understand this truth?It's not just carpe diem, muddling along a lot!Besides, does such a beautification of life have a class flavor?However, in any case, in the near future, I am afraid that this situation will only flourish.I think, maybe this is the reflection of our times?Beijing does not have the economic environment of Shanghai, and naturally it does not have her prosperity.But in recent years, Southernization and Europeanization—Southernization is actually Shanghaiification, and Shanghaiification is mostly Europeanization; in short, it can be said to be Bourgeoisieization—has become more and more popular day by day.Although I only followed Shanghai, I did follow after all; the fate of the future lies in this point, I am afraid that it is more or less the same as Shanghai. But there is another important aspect of Shanghai culture, which is literature.Many writers of new literature live in Shanghai; most important literary groups are also based in Shanghai—even more so now.In recent years, several bookstores have been opened, such as Beixin, Kaiming, Guanghua, Xinyue, etc.—there are quite a few literary books published, which can be called a flourishing moment.As for Beijing, it can be regarded as the birthplace of new literature, and there are many original writers; in the past two or three years, there have been modern commentaries and threads of speech, which can serve as important representatives.The Beixin General Administration was originally in Beijing; she also introduced many new writers.So it looks like it is thriving.Unexpectedly, last year Modern Critic moved southward one after another, Beixin was closed, and writers also went south for sightseeing one after another, feeling lonely for a while.Now only Weiming, Gucheng and other publications and Gucheng Bookstore are left to support this scene for the time being.I think that such an 'ancient city' like Beijing, such a metropolis, will never be lonely for a long time in this era. The birth of new literature has caused a revolution in thought; this is the beginning of a new era in the past ten years—so it has a particularly broad and long-term influence.Until two or three years ago, the flames of social revolution gradually ignited, and most young people expected the interest of revolution; at this time, all were busy and nervous, and the leisure of appreciation had to be temporarily put aside.What they want are reference books for practice; the popularity of books on social revolution surpassed that of literature for a while;I remember that in Shanghai last summer, "Our June" was just published in Yadong.Ying asked me one day how the sales were going?He went on to say, I am afraid that not many people want to see this kind of thing now?This can be seen at the time of the atmosphere.But it is strange that in the year after the revolution, instead of declining further, literature seemed to be revived.Just look at the newly published book catalogs of Beixin, Kaiming and other bookstores, and you will know that what I said is not nonsense.What's even more strange is that after the social revolution was ignited, literature was shelved because it was not a revolutionary and an urgent task; but on the other hand, there were people who provided revolutionary literature.The voice of revolutionary literature is getting louder day by day, with enthusiasm and eagerness.Up to now, it is considered to be the age of revolution, and this kind of literature is logical and should have appeared; but why haven't we seen it?It goes without saying that my experience is shallow, but a friend who is familiar with the literary world in recent years told me that it is surprising that the long-awaited revolutionary literature has not yet come out.On the one hand, the revival of literature has become a fact; what about the revival of literature?It is said that it is still developing consistently following the former Pet#yBourgeoisie system.Until recently, there have been novels describing and analyzing the revolutionary life of this era; but it seems that they can only be regarded as the mood of the so-called fellow travelers.The real revolutionary literature is that there are still no shadows, no, there are still no letters! Of course there are justifications for this.The truly revolutionary class only knows revolution: what they see is revolution with their eyes, and what they do with their hands is revolution; they are busy and nervous, and revolution is their whole world.Literature is just irrelevant to them now.Furthermore, although they will inevitably need a literature in the future—perhaps a literature of propaganda—their tastes are still too superficial and their mouthpieces are still too clumsy for them to create. What came out.Therefore, there is a blank space on this for the time being.And Pet#yBourDgeoisie, on the eve of the revolution, many people were willing to lose their academics, literature, and art, and wanted to try their skills; but after the revolution began, those who really went were those with sufficient strength and strong of interest.Others may wait and see for a while, and feel their own lack, so they give up and return.Their spirit has no basis, so naturally they can only return to the old ways of academics, literature, and art to avoid the panic attack.So the revival of literature is also a matter of course.On the one hand, revolutionary books seem to be less popular than they were a few years ago; this is probably because the revolutionary ones are gone, and the non-revolutionary ones are no longer revolutionary.Therefore, the increase in the demand for literary books is just as expected.However, stirred up by the trend of the times, coupled with the acclaim of revolutionary literature in the literary world, although works describing the revolutionary atmosphere are only beginning to emerge now, they should gradually increase in the future.As for genuine revolutionary literature, it is feared that it will not become popular until the revolution succeeds.In the opposite direction, I think it is inevitable that there will be literature that is disappointed and despaired because of excessive expectations and patience, and thus curses the revolution, although there will not be too many.In short, no matter how it develops, the atmosphere of Pet#yBourgeoisie, which is based on panic as its core, will become more and more obvious in the literature of this era. Mr. Hu Shizhi is really an open-minded person; he advocated new literature and new Chinese studies.In his "Gossip", Mr. Chen Xiying deeply felt that it was a pity that he was walking forward and suddenly walked back.But I think these are just the two sides of the liberation of the mind, and they are both manifestations of the spirit of doubting the past and cherishing the self.Guoxue became a new movement a year or two after literature.But this was originally the wealthiest product in our old store, and it has always been held by many people; although some Western methods are added now, Chinese studies are the laws of the country after all, so they are very suitable for the taste of ordinary people.I say "ordinary people", because in the past, Guoxue was only a specialty for some people, but now it has become a common trend, and young people have joined it one after another. It is considered a fashionable thing.At this level, Mr. Hu seemed to disapprove later.The year before last, he said at the meeting of Chinese studies of Peking University Research Institute that the study of Chinese studies is just to know that "this road is not working", not to find a new road; It's such a pity to be crowded on this dead end road.But until now, we know that there is no need to care about life and death in academic research; so although Mr. Hu disagrees, the trend continues to pass.I think the direction of this new national studies movement can be summed up in Mr. Hu's "historical obsession and textual research obsession".But now this kind of "historical obsession and textual research obsession" must be applied to all national heritage, and the prejudice of predecessors who respect classics and history will never be tolerated.Mr. Gu Jiegang said that this meaning is the most clear in the "1926 First Publication Ci" published by Peking University Research Institute Guoxuemen Weekly.This is a big liberation, a big expansion.There are so many participants, this is probably also an important reason.This movement flourished in Beijing, but it also has considerable influence in Shanghai.Although it started later than the New Literature Movement, due to its inherent advantages and newly added scope, it soon caught up and almost kept pace with the latter.When the new literature fell, it also fell for the same reason, but now it seems to be revived in the same way—you can know it by looking at the newly published bibliographies in the past year.Guoxue is farther away from reality than literature; it is a safer refuge for those who are worried about the attack of political wind.So I guess, there may be more participants after that. In addition, there is another relatively small matter. People who have lived in Beijing for the past two years, whether they pay attention to it or not, should be aware of it.This is the painting exhibition, especially the Chinese painting exhibition.As long as you often read newspapers or walk through Zhongshan Park, you will see records or advertisements of such exhibitions once or twice.From the exhibitions again and again, I guess there are probably many people who are happy to see them.The rising sales value of traditional Chinese paintings is another proof.Although Shanghai is not as lively as Beijing, it seems that there are often such exhibitions, but they don't focus on traditional Chinese painting.Recently I know that there are two exhibitions of Mr. Tao Yuanqing and Mr. Liu Haisu, which can be used as examples.Art and literature can be said to be the same things in the ivory tower; but the influence of art on politics and economy is more indirect, and therefore, more quiet.So this road will not be neglected in the future.But why is painting so unique in art?Why is Chinese painting more popular than foreign painting?I think that Chinese painting, like Chinese studies, has roots in society and is in line with the tastes of ordinary people.However, after many years of advocacy and transmission, foreign paintings are now gradually attracting people's attention.So this time at the "Haisu Painting Exhibition", someone actually bought his foreign paintings for collection. (See Beijing "Morning Post Weekly Pictorial") As for music and drama, both of which are arts, there is no progress at all due to the lack of talents and equipment.Although national music and opera have great influence, there are still very few people who study them as art until now. Whether this is waiting for comparative research is also unknown. 这是我所知的，上海，北京的Ｂｏｕｒｇｅｏｉｓｉｅ，与Ｐｅｔ＃ｙＢｏｕｒｇｅ ｏｉｓｉｅ里的非革命者——特别是这种人——现在所走的路。自然，科学，艺术的范围极广，将来的路也许会多起来。不过在这样扰攘的时代，那些在我们社会里根柢较浅，又需要浩大的设备的，如自然科学，戏剧等，怕暂时总还难成为风气吧？——我说的虽是上海，北京，但相信可以代表这时代精神的一面——文化。我们若可以说广州，汉口是偏在革命的一面，上海，北京便偏在非革命的一面了。这种大都市的生活样式，正如高屋建瓴水，它的影响会迅速地伸张到各处。你若承认从前京式的靴鞋，现在上海式装束的势力，你就明白现在上海，北京的风气，将会并且已经怎样弥漫到别的地方了。 在这三条路里，我将选择哪一条呢？我惭愧自己是个“爱博而情不专”的人；虽老想着只选定一条路，却总丢不下别的。我从前本是学哲学的，而同时舍不下文学。后来因为自己的科学根柢太差，索性丢开了哲学，走向文学方面来。但是文学的范围又怎样大！我是一直随随便便，零零碎碎地读些，写些，不曾认真做过什么工夫。结果是只有一点儿——一点儿都没有！驳杂与因循是我的大敌人。现在年龄是加长了，又遇着这样“动摇”的时代，我既不能参加革命或反革命，总得找一个依据，才可姑作安心地过日子。我是想找一件事，钻了进去，消磨了这一生。我终于在国学里找着了一个题目，开始像小儿的学步。这正是望“死路”上走；但我乐意这么走，也就没有法子。不过我又是个乐意弄弄笔头的人；虽是当此危局，还不能认真地严格地专走一条路——我还得要写些，写些我自己的阶级，我自己的过， 现，未三时代。一劲儿闷着，我是活不了的。胡适之先生在《我的歧路》里说：“哲学是我的职业，文学是我的娱乐”；我想套着他的调子说：“国学是我的职业，文学是我的娱乐。”这便是现在我走着的路。至于究竟能够走到何处，是全然不知道，全然没有把握的。 我的才力短，那不过走得近些罢了；但革命期的破坏若积极进行，报纸所载的远方可怕的事实，若由运命的指挥，渐渐地逼到我住的所在，那么，我的身家性命还不知是谁的，还说什么路不路！即使身家性命保全了，而因生计窘迫的关系，也许让你不得不把全部的精力专用在衣食住上，那却是真的“死路”。实在也说不上什么路不路！此外，革命若出乎意表地迅速地成了功，我们全阶级的没落就将开始，那是更用不着说什么路的！但这一层究竟还是“出乎意表”的事，暂可不论；以上两层却并不是渺茫不可把捉的，浪漫的将来，是从现在的事实看，说来就“来了”的。所以我虽定下了自己好走的路，却依旧要虑到“哪里走？” “哪里走！”两个问题上去！我也知道这种忧虑没有一点用，但禁不住它时时地袭来；只要有些馀暇，它就来盘据心头，挥也挥不去。若许我用一个过了时的名字，这大约就是所谓“烦闷”吧。不过前几年的烦闷是理想的，浪漫的，多少可以温馨着的；这时代的是，加以我的年龄，更为实际的，纠纷的。我说过阴影，这也就是我的阴影。我想，便是这个，也该是向着灭亡走的我们的运命吧？ １９２８年２月７日作 （原载１９２８年３月《一般》第四卷第３期）