Chapter 84 On sincerity

On sincerity Sincerity is a character, but it is also an attitude.In the past, people's sincerity was discussed, probably in terms of character.Honesty, sincerity, and sincerity are the virtues of a gentleman; dishonesty is a deceitful villain.Part of character is born, half is upbringing; the expression of character comes from nature, which is the whole person.To say that a person is an honest gentleman or a fraudulent villain is to settle accounts based on his deeds.A gentleman is probably always a gentleman, and a villain is probably always a villain.Although it is said that temperament can change, and people can only be judged after the coffin is built, those are only special cases.However, in a society, there are not too many such stereotyped gentlemen and villains, and ordinary people generally float between these two realms.The so-called ups and downs means that these people can't control themselves, and they will inevitably be deceitful.This is also out of nature.There is another layer, these people sometimes consciously increase or decrease their sincerity in dealing with people and things, to adapt to the situation.This is attitude.Attitude doesn't necessarily reflect character; an honest friend will tell a lie or something when he has to.Attitudes are based on necessity, out of social or social necessity, and ordinary people cannot avoid this kind of necessity.This is a project of "Sophisticated People".Sometimes it's forgiven, sometimes it's even tolerated.Attitudes vary, perhaps more interesting in a modern and changeable society.The words "sincerity", "sincerity" and "hypocrisy" that we often say in our mouths and write in our pens are probably all about attitude.

But most people seem to use these words too strictly.According to their opinion, there are too many people who are not sincere and sincere.And young people look at people and things in society, except for themselves, almost all are hypocritical.Using the word "hypocrisy" in this way seems to be too broad.These are the same general mistakes as the old gentlemen who said "people's hearts are not old, and the world is declining".Most people seem to confuse character and attitude, and young people do the same, but add all kinds of illusions of "innocence" and "purity".The character of honesty is indeed rare, but no one has faults, no matter which aspect, there are always very few perfect people or sages.I'm afraid we can only be more lenient. There is no such thing as humility, and we should focus on our attitude.Otherwise, there will be too many unnecessary troubles and disputes.As for innocence and purity, it seems that it is only the duty of children-old-fashioned children are really not pleasing to the eye.But if a person is always so innocent and pure, he may have nothing to do with himself, but he will cause too much trouble to others.Some people praise "childlike innocence" and "childishness", but this is limited to insignificant small programs, whichever can adjust the flat atmosphere.If it is the same at an important juncture, innocence may be just willful at that time, and purity may be just ignorance.Fortunately, insincerity, insincerity, hypocrisy, etc. have become mantras, and most people just follow everyone's words, at most frowning, sneering, expressing helplessness and passing.Naturally, seriousness is inevitable, but it hurts oneself, and even hurts others.Young people tend to be serious and dissatisfied, and their dissatisfaction is often the driving force for social reform.But they also have to be careful, if they take the distinction between sincerity and falsehood too seriously, they may become nihilists.

There are differences between people and things and things, and it is rare for words and deeds to be appropriate.Sincerity is indispensable, but the situation is different, so you might as well consider adding or subtracting a little bit.All kinds of etiquette or cutscenes come from here.Some people say that etiquette is the art of life, and the original intention of etiquette should be like this.The so-called politeness in daily life is also a kind of etiquette or formality.Some people think that politeness is too restrictive, not sincere, and not a sincere attitude.These people advocate whims and naturalness.It's okay to be frivolous, but it depends on the person.It would be a bit wild to act like this when meeting strangers.Even with acquaintances, unrestrained willfulness is naturally not acceptable.Couples are considered to be very familiar with each other, and sometimes they have to "respect each other as guests", which can be imagined by others.In short, in different situations, being frivolous can naturally express sincerity, and politeness can also express sincerity, but the degree of sincerity is different.Being polite needs to be generous and fit your status, otherwise it means too much sincerity; too much sincerity means too little sincerity.

Watching people, treating guests, and giving gifts are all cutscenes.Some say these are just hypocritical cliches and nonsense.But these are actually sincere.You have to have this person in your heart before you go to see him, invite him, and give him gifts. This is sincerity.As for the number of visits, the length of time, whether to be the host or guest, and the circumstances of gift giving, it is only a matter of sincerity, not presence or absence.When you look at people, you look back, when you treat guests, you always answer, and when you give gifts, you always return gifts, and you only answer sincerity.As the old saying goes, "it is indecent to come but not to go", no matter ancient or modern, human feelings are always the same.There was a person who gave New Year's gifts, and went around, and one of the gifts he gave out came back to him.He finds it hypocritical and boring, taking it as a joke.The jokes are true, but the sincerity is still there.Another man met an unfamiliar friend on the road and said to him, "I want to see you." The man told others, "He doesn't need to see me, and I know he won't, you see That sentence is meaningless!" The sincerity of that friend seemed to be too much.Ms. Ling Shuhua wrote a short story called "Foreign Rules", in which a young foreign student accompanied a lady from an old family to the park and greeted her in various ways.She thought he fell in love with her, but she didn't know that what he did was only "foreign rules"!This comedy overestimated the sincerity of the foreign student because the old lady did not understand the new etiquette and new cutscenes.It can be seen that sincerity does have weight.

People live for themselves and live for others.Taking care of other people's feelings without hurting one's own identity must be regarded as sincere and sincere.Such a lenient view may make life more interesting for some.There is a saying in the West, "Life is a show." It's okay to play a show, as long as you have the intention to do it for the good.Being polite and so on, some people will definitely think it’s a drama, but as long as it’s for everyone’s benefit, this kind of drama is worth doing.On the other hand, sincerity and sincerity may not be a joke.Now people often say, "I'm telling you very sincerely", "I'm very sincere", and they flaunt their sincerity and sincerity, and they have the air of a peddler talking about the sweetness of the melon, which is probably not the case for an honest gentleman.However, most people are used to being natural, and know that this is just to increase the weight of sincerity and emphasize their own attitude, which is not the same thing as the yelling of businessmen.Ordinary people are ordinary people after all, and they have to add or subtract their sincerity and change their attitude according to the situation; this inevitably taints some drama.There is a saying in the West that "honesty is the best policy", and "honesty" is just an attitude; this seems to be a joke.

(Originally published in the eighth issue of "Weekly Review" on January 5, 1941)