Chapter 10 back view

back view It has been more than two years since I saw my father, and the last thing I can forget is his back.That winter, my grandmother died, and my father's errand was relinquished. It was a day when misfortunes never come singly. I traveled from Beijing to Xuzhou, intending to follow my father home for the funeral.When I went to Xuzhou and met my father, he saw the messy things in the courtyard, and thought of my grandmother, I could not help but shed tears in Susu.My father said, "This is the case, so don't be sad, but there is no unparalleled road!" When I went home and sold the mortgage, my father paid back the shortfall; he borrowed money for the funeral.These days, the family situation is very bleak, half for the funeral, half for the father's unemployment.After the funeral, my father was going to Nanjing to find a job, and I was going back to Beijing to study, so we went together.

When we arrived in Nanjing a friend invited us to go on an excursion, so we stopped over for a day. At noon on the next day we had to cross the river to Pukou in order to board the afternoon train headed north.Because my father was busy with work, he had already decided not to see me off, so he asked a familiar waiter in the hotel to accompany me.He repeatedly asked the waiter to be very careful.But in the end he was worried, fearing that the waiter would be inappropriate; he hesitated for a while.Actually, at the time I was already twenty years old and had journeyed to and from Beijing two or three time already, so it wasn’t such a major affair.He hesitated for a while, and finally decided to take me there himself.Two or three times I advised him not to go; he just said, "It doesn't matter, it's not good for them to go!"

We crossed the river and entered the station.I bought the ticket and he was busy looking after the luggage.There is too much luggage, and I have to tip the porter before I can go.He was busy negotiating the price with them again.At that time, I was really too smart, and I always felt that his words were not very beautiful, so I had to interrupt myself.But he finally negotiated a price; he sent me to the car.He selected a chair for me near the car door; I spread the purple fur coat he made for me to sit on it.He told me to be careful on the road and stay alert at night so as not to catch cold.He also asked the waiter to take good care of me.I laughed at his literal-mindedness in my heart; they only recognize money, so entrusting them is just for nothing!Besides, at my age, can't I still take care of myself?Alas, I think about it now, it was so clever back then!

I said, "Dad, let's go." He looked out of the car and said, "I'm going to buy some oranges. You are here, don't move." I saw how many people were outside the fence of the platform over there Sellers wait for customers.To get to the platform over there, you have to cross the railway, you have to jump off and climb up.My father is a fat man, so it will take more trouble to walk over.I was going, but he refused, so I had to let him go.I saw him wearing a black cloth cap, a black cloth mandarin jacket, and a dark green cloth padded robe, staggering to the side of the railway, leaning down slowly, it was not too difficult.But it was not easy for him to cross the railway and climb up to the platform over there.He climbed on it with both hands, and then retracted his feet; his fat body leaned slightly to the left, showing an effort.At this time, I saw his back, and my tears flowed down quickly.I quickly wiped away my tears, afraid that he would see it, and also afraid that others would see it.When I looked out again, he had already hugged the vermilion orange and looked back.When crossing the railway, he first scattered the oranges on the ground, climbed down slowly by himself, and then picked up the oranges and walked away.When I got here, I hurried to help him.He and I went to the car and put the oranges on my fur coat.So I patted the dirt off my clothes, feeling very relieved, and said after a while, "I'm leaving; write a letter over there!" I watched him go out.He walked a few steps, turned around and saw me, and said, "Go in, there is no one inside." When his back disappeared into the people coming and going, I went in and sat down, and my tears came again up.

In recent years, my father and I have been running around, and the situation at home has been worsening day by day.He went out to make a living when he was young, supported alone, and did many great things.I didn't know that Laojing was so decadent!He was sad and sad, and naturally he couldn't help himself.Yu in love, naturally want to send on the outside; family trivialities would often make him angry.He treats me gradually differently.But after not seeing each other for the last two years, he finally forgot about my badness, and only cared about me and my son.After I came to the north, he wrote me a letter, in which he said, "I am in good health, but my arm hurts badly. It is very inconvenient for me to lift a chopstick and a pen. I think I will die soon." I read this , in the crystal tears, I saw the back of the obese man in the blue cotton robe and black mandarin jacket.well!I don't know when I can meet him again!

October 1925 in Beijing. (Originally published in the 200th issue of "Literature Weekly" on November 22, 1925)