Chapter 32 Thirty-second letter: Refuse to blame, refuse to shirk

Motto: Blame is the number one enemy that destroys leadership. Self-blame is one of the most insidious and cunning blame traps. The stronger you are, the less influence others will have. (Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.) July 24, 1910 Dear John: Would you be surprised if I said that Mr. Andrew Carnegie, who has always been unwilling to be outdone and always thought he was the richest man in the world, came to visit me and asked me a very serious question?In fact, that's what the great blacksmith did. Two days ago, Mr. Carnegie came to our Kikwite.Perhaps it was my smiling attitude and the relaxed atmosphere of our conversation that melted Mr. Carnegie's steely self-esteem and made him put down his airs and ask me:

"John, I know that you lead a group of very capable people. However, I don't think their talents are unmatched, but what puzzles me is that they seem to be invincible and always easily beat your competitors. I want to know, What magic did you cast to make them have that spirit, could it be the power of money?" I told him that the power of money cannot be underestimated, but the power of responsibility is even greater.Sometimes action doesn't come from an idea, but from taking responsibility.People at Standard Oil have a sense of responsibility and know, "What is my responsibility? What can I do to make things better?" But I never talk about responsibility or obligation, I just use my leadership style to create Responsible business.

I thought this topic should end here, but my answer obviously aroused Mr. Carnegie's curiosity, and he asked me seriously: "John, can you tell me what you do?" Seeing Mr. Carnegie's humble demeanor, I can't refuse, I must tell the truth.I told him that if we were to survive in perpetuity, our way of leading meant categorically refusing to blame anyone or anything for any reason.Blame is like a swamp, and once you slip into it, you lose your foothold and your direction, and you become immobile, mired in hatred and frustration.There is only one result: losing the respect and support of your subordinates.Once you get to this point, you are like a king who has surrendered the crown to others and can no longer dominate everything.

I know that blame is the number one enemy that destroys leadership, and I also know that there are no generals in this world, and that setbacks and failures are inevitable for anyone.So instead of feeling resentful and resentful when things go wrong, I'm just thinking: How can I make things better?What actions can be taken to remedy or fix our mistakes?Actively choose to move toward greater productivity and satisfaction. Of course, I won't let myself go.When bad things happen to us, I first stop and ask myself the question: "What is my role?" By going back to basics, by being completely honest about my role, I can avoid prying eyes on what others have done, or It is meaningless behaviors such as asking others to change something.In fact, it was only by focusing on myself that I was able to regain the crown that I inadvertently surrendered.

However, analyzing "what is my role" does not mean self-blame.Self-blame is the most insidious of blame traps, and self-blame like "That was a stupid mistake!" only traps me in the same trap of resentment and resentment as any other blame.In fact, "what is my role" is a powerfully analytical and self-affirming step, and I don't feel sorry for myself when I know that the real question is not what they should be doing, but what I should be doing , but will only make yourself stronger.The stronger you are, the less influence others will have, and it seems that this is not a bad thing.

If I can see each obstacle as an opportunity to learn about myself, instead of worrying about what others have done to me, then I can find a way out of the walls of leadership crisis. Of course, I never saw myself as a savior, nor did I have a savior mentality.I asked myself: In what ways am I responsible for myself?I also asked myself: In what respects should my subordinates be responsible for me?The job of a leader is not to be omniscient and fully responsible.If I see myself as a heroic agent of justice, ready to save the world, I'm only putting myself in a leadership crisis.A big part of my responsibility is to hold other people accountable for my responsibilities.If an employee doesn't care about things that are directly related to his own interests, I don't believe that such an employee can have a strong desire to do a good job, then he should leave and serve others.

Feeling the pressure of responsibility on your shoulders can make people excited unconsciously.Nothing can stimulate and strengthen the ability to do things like a sense of personal responsibility, but entrusting a heavy responsibility to a subordinate and letting him know that I fully trust him is undoubtedly the greatest help to him.Therefore, I will not take the responsibility that my subordinates must and can bear on myself. I not only rely on the role of demonstration to create a responsible atmosphere and atmosphere in the company, but my subordinates all know my basic principles: there is no blame and no excuses in Standard Oil!This is my philosophy, and everyone knows it.I will not punish them for their mistakes, but I will never tolerate irresponsible behavior.Our beliefs are to be followed thoroughly.Our motto is that support, encouragement and respect will be wholeheartedly accepted and doubled.Making excuses without solutions is not tolerated at Standard Oil.

We rarely make any mistakes because my door is always open for subordinates to offer their opinion, or just plain whine, but in a responsible way.Such an outcome will make us trust each other, because we understand that everything needs to be discussed in the light of day. Mr. Carnegie was a fine old student, and he didn't waste my time when I ended the subject by saying, "Among the whining, good employees turn into rabble!" How smart he is. Almost everyone, John, is so defensive that he can't be blamed for real responsibility, so that he can see it everywhere.But it does a lot of harm.The way to avoid getting defensive is to start listening.

The biggest challenge for leaders is how to create an environment where people feel more comfortable being open than hiding the truth.Proactively invite others to state their thoughts, encouraging them to do so with words such as "Tell me a little more," or "I'd really like to hear from you."Contrary to what is commonly believed, in dialogue it is the listener, not the presenter, who has power. Unbelievable, right?When you think about it, the tone, focus, and content of the speaker actually all depend on how you listen.Think of the difference between speaking to someone who is hostile and physically aggressive versus someone who is giving you their undivided attention.When you simply listen to what other people have to say, you let your guard down.Here's what you get: You gain a better understanding of the issues behind offensive or angry language.You can get more information, and that information can change your assumptions about what happened.You'll have more time to organize your thoughts.

The presenter will feel that you value their point of view.The most exciting thing is that when you listen attentively, the original speaker will be more willing to listen to you. Authentic listening is non-defensive.Even if you don't like the message, you should listen to it, not respond immediately.Listening intently is less of a skill and more of an attitude.Every second when a skier encounters an obstacle, he devotes 100% of his attention, and he will never be distracted to think about what he will say to his partner after a while.Likewise, as an active listener, you give 100 percent of your attention to the other person and don't blurt out what comes to mind.In doing so, you remove preconceived notions and open your mind to a more meaningful and productive conversation.

Over time, we have shaped our lives and ourselves.This process will continue and we are all ultimately responsible for our choices.Just as "purpose" determines your direction, refusing to blame will build a road to achieve your goals. love your father