Chapter 21 confinement lover

You are her lover, who has been imprisoned for a lifetime.Now, to be free. Take her back to the distant, distant hometown, the northeast prairie with white mountains and black waters. Bell Palace You always remember that night in the middle of winter, with the unusual howling wind and the blowing of sand. The fifth day of December in the thirteenth year of Tongzhi. Subsequently, the Empress Dowager Cixi announced that Prince Chun's son Zai Tian would inherit the Datong. Your father listened to the decree in the hall. He was startled and in pain, wept bitterly, and fell to the ground.He doesn't want you to be emperor, that Tongzhi Zaichun who passed away just now is just a very unhappy nineteen-year-old boy.You are his most precious son, the baby eagle raised by Prince Chun's mansion, and you were supposed to spread your wings freely between the heaven and the earth.

However, the palace refused to delay for a moment, and sent a team of soldiers, each in a yellow sedan chair, to rush to Prince Chun's residence in Taiping Lake to welcome the young emperor into the palace. The family members of the palace were crying. In the chaos of life and death, you were startled in your dream, still dazed, clamoring to find your mother.Since then, he has fallen into a long and sad nightmare, and it is always difficult to wake up. When he was established as Emperor Guangxu of the Qing Dynasty, he was only four years old. Your whole world has changed, and you can no longer see a familiar face.Even the father seems to be a different person. The once majestic and heroic father who held you on the horseback and promised to take you back to the hometown of your ancestors, the father who galloped on the northeast prairie with white mountains and black waters, knelt on the ground and lowered his head from time to time. .You don't understand that the people you meet in the town, no matter men, women, old or young, can't straighten their backs.

That day, in Zhongcui Palace, your father knelt down to ask for the saint again, and you suddenly rolled over and went straight to him, grabbed your sleeves, trying to pull him up, and urgently demanded: Ama!Ama!take me home!I want to go home-- The eunuchs and maids who were standing there all stepped forward to dissuade you, hugging your struggling little body.you cry!You shout!Shout out, Ama!Ama!Ama-- Your father was prostrate on the ground, trembling all over. You have been ill for a while, and your physique is not strong and healthy. You have a cold and fever, which is menacing. It is Empress Dowager Ci'an who comforts you in your illness.After entering the palace, you will live with her in Zhongcui Palace.When you were sick, you opened your eyes and saw her anxiety; hearing her gentle comforting words, she regarded you as another Tongzhi.Leaning in her arms, you can act like a baby and feel safe. You treat her like another mother.

Tongzhi and her are not mother and son; you and her are not mother and son, but you are all close to her. You start to read, and your behavior is also different from the past. You look at Prince Jin kneeling calmly.Keeping in mind Cixi's admonitions and Ci'an's persuasion, a ruler must behave in a proper manner and not exceed the rules. Greetings to the two palaces is an unavoidable daily homework.Going to the Changchun Palace, I don’t know why I always feel uncomfortable. When Cixi asks about her studies, she always reminds her again at the end that you can enter the palace and ascend the throne thanks to her gift.

Going to Zhongcui Palace, I dawdled and didn't want to leave, Ci'an likes to eat snacks, and always prepares a portion for you.Sometimes, Dingding looks at you and sighs: "The emperor should grow up quickly. When he grows up, he can decide the affairs of the court." She often disagrees with Cixi, so she looks sad.You advised her not to worry, and said that after you take charge, you will ask Ci'an to listen to the government behind the curtain. As for her, forget it!You said in high spirits. Ci'an hurriedly stopped your words, I'm afraid you will get into trouble; but she doesn't know that her own disaster is under the hood.

Cixi actually knows your trivial matters very well.At the beginning, her own son Tongzhi turned against her, but he had the same mother and son with Ci'an, which made her hold a grudge; you are the child of her biological sister, under Ci'an's instigation, you have not given her any room before you take charge of the government yourself.Tongzhi died young, the empress dowagers of the two palaces faced death, and there were no winners.This time, Cixi couldn't give her opponent another chance. The day before the accident, you went to Zhongcui Palace to pay your respects as usual. Ci'an caught a bit of cold, but he was in good spirits, talking and laughing for a while.When I was leaving the palace, I happened to meet Cixi who sent someone to deliver a snack, a plate of delicate steamed stuffed buns.

You jumped up in the midst of the death knell ringing in the Bell Palace. Since childhood, you have known that this gloomy palace often swallows people's lives; you have heard all kinds of rumors, believable or unbelievable.However, Ci'an is the queen mother!No, you can't treat her like this. She is your only relative. When you saw Cixi, you gritted your teeth, held your eyes full of tears, and asked loudly, straight to her face: How did she die? Cixi raised her head very slowly and looked at you.That cold, sword-like gaze makes your spine tingle.She looked at you carefully, as if looking at a stranger, and after a while, she issued an order in a flat voice:

"The emperor is overwhelmed with grief, let's go back to the palace to rest first!" You were escorted back to the bedroom by the eunuch, and your mind crashed.Am I not the Son of Heaven?Am I not the emperor? no!Your steps are jerky and jerky.I'm just a puppet, you tell yourself, if Ci An dies today, Zai Tian will die tomorrow. Stepping over the threshold, you stand still, and a mouthful of blood spurts out violently. In the seventh year of Guangxu, the Empress Dowager Ci'an died suddenly in Zhongcui Palace, and she was posthumously named Empress Xiaozhen. That year, you were eleven years old.

Hall of Mental Cultivation Under the unanimous and strong demands of the ruling and opposition parties, Cixi declared that she would return the power to the emperor.But, it must be after your wedding.The empress was chosen by Cixi, her own niece, who is two years older than you. You have no tender imagination, or even hope, for marriage.Tongzhi relied on Cixi's will and fought for independence on the surface, but it only brought a tragic end to his empress.You never make the same mistakes again.What you really care about is "returning the government" after the wedding. In the fifteenth year of Guangxu, the big wedding was held.

As expected, Cixi announced her return to power, removed the curtain, and moved to the Summer Palace.Although military and state affairs still require the empress dowager to be judged respectfully, although you have to go to the Summer Palace to pay respects from time to time, you seem to be full of vigor and vitality and are always ready to show your talents. It was also around that time that your heart was shaken unprecedentedly when you met that young woman. Concubine Zhen, who is only thirteen years old, has a pair of bright and frank eyes, and she looks slim.Her face is different from the plump, round and rich concubines in the palace; her sharp and small chin reveals a lovely and lovely clarity.

Never avoiding your gaze, there is always an idea to make you happy in your shrewd eyes.Sometimes I even change into men's clothes and accompany you to the deer park. The newlyweds are like brothers like brothers.you say. Her eyelashes flicker, and she puts a small lotus-like hand into your palm. "I am your confidant and lover." She said in the dead of night. You never knew that you would dream of such a little girl, and a feeling deep in your soul that had been dormant for a long time woke up and was surging.I want to talk to her about all the big and small matters in the court, and even the night dreams.She listens intently, adds fragrance and ink to you, and you wish to live the life of a folk couple. However, you are so close that you forget others; others cannot forget you.The empress couldn't bear to look at the loneliness of the autumn water, and repeatedly told the empress dowager that Concubine Zhen's good men's clothing and her fondness for taking pictures were all charges of bewitching the emperor.Cixi tried to persuade her, but she didn't take it seriously, because she also loves Concubine Zhen's dexterity and beauty; besides, your actions generally make her happy. However, your pet has made Concubine Zhen lose her ability to be sophisticated, and she still maintains her usual innocence and straightforwardness.That time, when Cixi reprimanded you for not being good at being a king, Concubine Zhen actually spoke up to defend you, vaguely complaining that Cixi was holding on to power. Her loyalty was exchanged for the crime of disobedience, and she was demoted as a nobleman.For the next many days, meetings are prohibited, you can't count the days, it's just one illness after another. Until Empress Dowager Cixi Enzhun returned to the concubine position, Concubine Zhen Yingying paid her respects in front of the bed.You ordered her to look up, those eyes were as stubborn as before, never weak due to setbacks.Your chest was filled with a complex emotion mixed with pity and admiration, and you held her in your arms without saying a word. If you don't let her leave the Hall of Mental Cultivation, the two of you will sleep and eat together, more gentle and affectionate than before.The old officials in the palace often sighed, saying that the Emperor Tongzhi and the Empress had such a good relationship in the past.You don't want to compare with the former emperor, you always think that you are much luckier than him; your beloved concubine will not be like the former empress, let Cixi bully her, and die young with hatred.However, you live in Tongzhi's bedroom, who can predict your fate? Trembling slightly, you hugged the resting female body beside you, she was sleeping soundly like a child, relying on you completely trustingly. This sense of being relied on inspires the hope that is always stirring in your heart and turns it into a force of realization. In the twenty-fourth year of Guangxu, you summoned Kang Youwei, Liang Qichao and others, listened to their talks, analyzed the general trend of the world, and believed that a decaying China, surrounded by great powers, had only a glimmer of hope, that is, to reform and become stronger.They asked for an immediate decree to reform the law. Otherwise, once the country is subjugated, the emperor will "seek to be a commoner in Chang'an but not obtain it".You turned your head to look at Concubine Zhen, and said clearly: Zhen, unwilling to be the king of subjugation. In this reform that lasted for 103 days, Concubine Zhen is your comrade. She sent eunuchs to deliver messages for you and outside the palace, avoiding Cixi's many eyes and ears. Believe in Yuan Shikai by mistake, make a wrong move, and his defection in front of the battle will turn your guardian into a conspiracy and rebellion. The night before the incident, you and Concubine Zhen were in the same quilt, tossing and turning, unable to sleep, listening to the sound of raindrops beating on the tiles of the mandarin ducks, sometimes far away, sometimes near. Did you hear that?You ask. Yes.she answered in a low voice. Are you afraid? not afraid. Yingtai Failed utterly. Tan Sitong and six other people were kidnapped and taken to the execution ground. "If you want to kill a thief, but you can't bring yourself back to heaven, you will die in a proper place. Happy, happy!" You were imprisoned in solitary confinement in Yingtai, concubine Zhen was demoted to Jianfu Palace, and all your closest eunuchs and maids were brutally executed or executed with sticks. You have been looking for a reason to survive. That day, when we parted in the Hall of Mental Cultivation, Concubine Zhen stared at you and said: "Grow old together." It is a kind of agreement, a promise to live on, as long as you live, there may still be hope. However, when you went to pay respects to Empress Dowager Cixi, you knew that this court, this country, was about to collapse like a building. When you heard that Zuo asked the imperial court to use Boxers to deal with foreigners, you couldn't help but make a sound to stop it. cannot. You know, if this is the case, there is no way out.But this remonstrance was too weak, and the Eight-Power Allied Forces, burning, killing and looting, came towards the Forbidden City. Originally, they thought they would live in seclusion in Yingtai for the rest of their lives, but on the eve of breaking down the city, they received Cixi's order and took refuge out of Beijing together.Even at the time of life and death, she still cannot set you free. When you saw Concubine Zhen's small, pale face, you almost burst into tears of gratitude, thanking God for allowing you to meet again.She came from the north cottage of Jingqi Pavilion, weak and haggard, no longer the plump and fresh beauty of the mirror hairpin flowers in the past; nor the romantic and playful way of teasing fish with a handkerchief by the lake, just a quiet woman. However, you can't hold back your strong emotions, she is your only confidant and lover in this life. Concubine Zhen looked at you with her clear eyes, and your heart suddenly trembled. Her soul, her will, have never changed. When all the concubines knelt down to thank Long En, Concubine Zhen also knelt down. She didn't want to leave the capital, and said that the emperor should stay in Beijing to govern. Cixi remained silent, turned her head very slowly, and looked at Concubine Zhen.An unprecedented, shuddering sense of dread seizes you violently.You almost rolled to Cixi's feet, shouting with all your might: Huang Ama-- I have never been as earnest, sincere, sad, and mournful as this moment. Too late, everything. "Very good." Cixi's voice trembled with anger: "If you don't go, you will be martyred!" No!don't want-- You howled, feeling that you were being torn into several pieces, and crazily hit the ground with your head. No matter whether this old woman sitting in front of you is a god, a demon, a fairy, or a ghost, she has already ruined your life; now And to destroy your soul.And you must pray to her. beg her-- beg her-- Pray, please, she-- The eunuch went inside to renew the decree, and threw the concubine Zhen into the well to die. "It's all right." Cixi supported you, and said in an unprecedentedly gentle tone: "My lord! It's time for us to hit the road." In your head, there is a bang, like drums beating gold, and like ten thousand horses galloping, holding your head in your hands, you curl up, roll over, and moan helplessly. (Note: Qing palace archives preserve the "pathogen" written by himself in the 33rd year of Guangxu, describing his illness, and mentioning that "his tinnitus and brain sound have been ringing for nearly ten years. The sound of his tinnitus is like the sound of wind, rain, golden drums, When you are far away, there is a time when you feel close.") Life and death are inseparable. In October of the thirty-fourth year of Guangxu, the time sequence entered winter, and your life came to the last stage. Cixi, who is over seventy years old, is still healthy and healthy, and she no longer regards you as an opponent; you have long since given up the idea of ​​fighting her.Not even the strength to resent. When you can no longer go to say hello to her, she will come to Yingtai to visit you instead.I heard that they are going to let your younger brother's youngest son, Pu Yi, succeed you. He is only three years old, younger than you when you entered the palace.You opened your mouth, as if you wanted to say something, Cixi said softly: "The emperor rests well, don't be afraid, let's take care of it." Yes, close your mouth and eyes, let's keep it.Nothing to fear anymore. Hearing the wind chime swaying in the hall of Hanyuan, you suddenly think of flying a kite with Concubine Zhen, letting those paper kites fly into the blue sky, flying higher and higher, farther and farther, the knife cuts off the thread, and you snuggle together, looking at the paper kites as a pair Eagles cross the palace walls, follow each other, and spread their wings far away. The rope that binds you will also be cut off, right? What started in winter will end in winter. In this legendary life, you are a son of man, but you are not a son of man; you are a king, but you are not worthy of being a king.What history will say is irrelevant at the moment. You just miss her so peacefully, you are her lover, who has been imprisoned for a lifetime.Now, you are about to be free, no matter where she is, you can find her, and take her back to the distant, distant hometown, the northeast prairie with white mountains and black waters. Hold your hand and grow old with you. You suddenly stretch out your hand, as if holding a lotus flower, and draw an arc in the void. Quietly and comfortably, smiling. Emperor Guangxu passed away in Hanyuan Hall in Yingtai. That year, you were thirty-eight years old.