Chapter 14 Section 13

dear baby: The girl who is closest to you received a text message from me one afternoon.In the text message, I made a simple but well-meaning conclusion to her whole person. She was obviously a little surprised, because we actually see each other often, so it would be too serious to jump to a conclusion all of a sudden. I told her that because I was recording the last episode of my book show, I was filled with the feeling of "this is the end" and a little bit of "death is good", but I didn't want to let it go. TV viewers perceive.After all, it's just an unpopular reading program, and people occasionally watch it, and most of them don't watch it. It doesn't take until the last episode to make the atmosphere heavy.So, I transferred this feeling to her.

"No wonder, I thought when your mouth became so sweet, thank you very much, it made me so happy." She replied the text message. Introducing reading on TV always feels like a waste of effort.People who rely heavily on television and people who rely heavily on books have different expectations for life.Reading is free, private, talking to oneself, jumping into the fire pit by oneself, all the excitement happens secretly, while TV requires lively, direct, and everything to be open, it is difficult to overlap the two experiences.I often treat my book shows as if I were dealing with an unpleasant kid who is awkward, but you know it's not all his fault.

When the child says he wants to leave you, you know that he has not cultivated to a positive result, but is going to engage in more serious autism.You also know that would suit the kid better, but you also know that he has fewer chances to meet the world. Recording the last episode, it seems to be watching his back, seeing him walking into the forest with a small bag on his back. Of course I would be sad, but more, I didn't realize it at the time, it should be envy. I envy him. I have had too many face-to-face encounters with the world. worthy of <home> dear baby: Although I can't say it definitively, although it is easy to feel more or less worthless, I still want to try to say this sentence:

Baby, life is worth living. what do i knowIn the face of so many lives that have lived and died, what I rely on is nothing more than my own little life. A small, mindless life. The Chinese-speaking place where I was born is full of old-fashioned attitudes towards life.When I was a child, the thick books piled up by my hand were filled with life conclusions drawn by people thousands of years ago, including four-character, five-character, and seven-character ones. When I turn a page casually, I am amazed that people survive like this.For example, I will find a four-character sentence, saying that if you are in someone else's melon field, don't squat down and put on your shoes, lest others think you are looking for an opportunity to steal his melons.Turning another page, there was another four-character sentence, saying that there was an upstart who didn't know what to buy, he obviously bought a high-quality pearl, but he only liked the gorgeous box in which the pearl was placed, and he paid for it generously. After leaving the box, he threw the pearls in the box and told the shopkeeper that he didn't want it.

I picked up another thick book and flipped through a page. The sentences in it all rhymed and sounded nice, but the feelings were very special.This one has four words, saying: "The blue one is your clothes, but the shaking one is my heart." Change another one, it's five words, and say: "The day is so short and the night is so long, of course I have to light a candle and wander around." Another song with seven words, "If I were a silkworm, I would spin silk until I died. If I were a candle, I would burn until it turned into ashes, and then my tears would be counted."

Looking at these wonderful words, I am amazed that adults have so many ways to find out and survive, and they want to tell others so preciously, to people who can't even imagine themselves, and who will be thousands of years later. When I was a child, I didn't feel that the next life seemed to be complicated. Instead, I read the words written by these people with great interest and imagined all kinds of lives. Some of the stories I read as a child were also very strange.The story may be finished in two sentences, but it left me in a daze for a long, long time. "There was a man who fell asleep and dreamed that he was a butterfly. After he woke up, he couldn't figure out whether he was asleep and dreamed that he was a butterfly, or if a butterfly fell asleep and dreamed that he was him?"

"A monk who was chased by many people fled to a river, and saw a dead body floating from the upper reaches. He looked closer and found that the dead body turned out to be himself." This kind of story, hidden here and there where no one pays attention, will make my eyes shine when nothing happens. I must have secretly built up a little bit of guard against life ever since. When I grew up, I liked a lot of childish and superficial things.When I went to California, which is full of sunshine and smiles, to learn how to make movies, I didn’t mind at all that my American classmates had never heard of European movies that were deep and full of mystery; An oriental film that pursues artistic conception.I love how they can justifiably think of movies as entertainment goods that can make a lot of money, make people cry, give people strength, and make people escape.

My classes would be film noirs with incest and murder, and sci-fi horrors with stupid monsters and bad special effects.I like the cold-blooded detectives, weird ways of killing people, isolated heroes, and aliens with goofy minds. I also like some of the childish things in that young country: hugs when there is nothing, talking face to face with disagreements, joking casually, and seriously wanting to believe in simple but unrealistic principles such as "honesty and justice". Some of my friends who are studying in Europe, or in some relatively strict universities in the United States, think how come I don’t want to grow up and have such a weird taste in seeking knowledge.

Baby, I'm seldom aware of it, but I'm afraid it's as suggested by a writer who lives on the same island as me: My soul is a little too old, I've smelled old enough too early, I had to live upside down. The family you were born into, baby, will give you many things, some of which you will take for granted, like their name, like their way of being in the world, who they associate with, what they love or don't love. Chances are you'll be like me, break some out at a certain age, pick up some at a certain age. If you feel that the smell of aging is too strong, you will unknowingly walk towards the amusement park.If you get too pampered, you may be attracted to people who don't take themselves seriously.

Perhaps such a rough description will give people a sense of futility and repetition. But that's just the language of description is too incompetent. Will it be boring over and over again? The sun rises and sets once a day, but as long as I'm looking at it from the right place, both sunrises and sunsets are still a sight to behold. Every rain can still make people feel embarrassed or sentimental, every lightning can still be powerful, every wave, every breeze...all come and go, come and go again and again.Baby, I've never been bored with this. My job, doing television, often bores me, for one simple reason: I know I'm delivering far more stories than life needs, whether it's scary, touching, funny, or crying.

How can a decent life need to know so many stories?Do you need to see so many good-looking people? This is obviously a forced thing. I, who participated in the production, should have felt a little bit uneasy. Other jobs, such as helping people lose weight, designing computer programs, digging diamonds, collecting taxes, selling houses, building cars, selling puppies and cats, and other jobs You should feel this basic uneasiness. If all we do is force each other's lives, the uneasiness of that force disturbs me, but not enough to mask the underlying joys and sorrows. Once I have experienced those most fundamental joys and sorrows, I still believe that life is worth living.Those piecemeal uneasiness is of no lethality. Even though I am such a skeptical person, I am willing to regard this doubt as one of the important reasons why life is worth living. Of course there are those who feel that life is not worth living. There will also be people who feel that ideas are not worth the time it takes to write them down. They have their own way of facing life, unlike me, this is a world where both ice and fire exist. Baby, I'm curious, where will your life go?I'm even wondering, where will my life go? I hope that when you also feel this curiosity, you will readily agree that this curiosity is fun, not a burden. And then one day, baby, you'll nod with a smile and say: Yes, life is worth living.