Chapter 4 me, i said

Ming Pao Post-Colonial Chronicle February 1, 1999 Mary said: Fuck, your mother is fucking, your mother is a racist.The answer is: you don't even have a penis.You are a woman.what the fuck.So they can say, Freud was right, you're all penisless, you're jealous. That fucking country, that fucking language, never belonged to us. It is a language kingdom that invades, conquers, destroys, rapes and controls.The other who is invaded, conquered, destroyed, raped, and controlled can be the Black Continent, the "virgin land", or a woman—the colony is a woman. Joseph Conroe's "Heart of Darkness" writes about the banks of the Congo River: She is full of lotus steps, dressed in striped fringe clothes, proudly stepping on the land, wearing wild decorations, making soft noises and flashes. . . . . .She is huge and savage, wide-eyed, gorgeous and noble. . . . . .The banks of the Congo are a wild woman.poet john

Lang, writes about how a man "explores" a woman: the title of the poem "Give him a lover who is about to go to bed" - please allow me to explore the hand / front, back, between, above, below / Oh my America, I Newfound land/My kingdom, when a man rides, be your man, you're safest/My jewel, my land/I'm so blessed to have found you.The wild land and the female body, for a white man, are two in one, both exist to satisfy his desire. Colonial people—even the wronged identity of colonial people is passed on from male to female.The colonial people are angry: the imperialists, the racists, feminized, dwarfed, degraded, ignorant, and powerless.For these humiliated colonial people, women have the same meaning as being short, ignorant, and powerless, and they all hurt their noble self-esteem.In their noble self-esteem, there is only themselves, intellectuals, men, professionals, heads of households; workers, proletarians, homosexuals, disabled people, women, pagans, children, have no part, they don't know them The existence of - post-colonial discourse, the original there is no United Front.Everyone seeks their own blessings.

Born in Martinique, educated in France and working in Algeria, psychiatrist Frances Fenu can be said to be the enlightener of post-colonialism.He explained the relationship of black/white, me/him, colonization/colonization with the theory of psychoanalysis.And seek out the weak and the downtrodden - what do black men want? - Liberation and freedom.Black woman, what do you want?He never asked.All he said was: Negro woman, I know very little. The female body, in the language of the country, is explored and conquered, both by males and colonizers. What about the female body as an entity?You cannot understand if you will not have a female body.Very economical, but there is no way.The physical sensation is irreplaceable.Standing on the street, the sun is so good, your skin is warm and comfortable.You take a breath.Then, you find that surrounded by those extremely aggressive gazes on your brows, your breasts, your belly, your calves, your sex that does not protrude but induces infinite imagination.The institutionalized gaze is the medium and the camera.Maybe there are still mouths following you, pointing at your breasts, your belly, the side of your thighs.The female body is the most conditioned, you're fat, you're hairy, you're wrinkled, you've got pipes, your breasts are sagging, you're ugly, you're like an old sow, you better figure something out.When you are young, thin, hairless, and your body fits those constraints, you can sell it for money.Then throw it in the trash.You are old and ugly.You feel ashamed, small, and wonder if I should be anorexic or suicidal.If you won't have a female body, you say you understand, but you can't feel it, that's hot.They say you are dirty when you have menstruation, and they laugh at you when you have menopause, you are not a woman anymore.You are troubled by the female body.They said: because you don't have a penis, you are jealous.

Jealous of a penis, what do you want?Unknown black woman, what do you want? The you of XXXX, the mother of XXXX, what do you want? Repeatedly, it becomes the interrogation of existence: what do you want?Can you be the subject of the discourse?How do you understand yourself?Does your body belong to you?What about your desires, your sex?Is orgasm your language?Or is it just ejaculatory, male language.And we never talk about orgasms, we don’t care about orgasms, we just say, gentle, long-lasting, not limited to sexual, profound, satisfying?How do you free yourself and express yourself under the dual constraints of colonial language and male language?How do you, rewrite history, that's her story, no, his story?That is, the story of the weak becoming strong, rather than the strong conquering?How do you get the dignity you deserve as a human being without fucking or being violent?

I often say, gentle and violent.Tenderness and violence are not decorative beauty, but a rhetorical contrast.I hate decorative prose.Gentleness and violence mean how to surround violence with gentleness.Not conquest, but encirclement.It's not fuck, it's satisfaction. so. . . . . .After that horribly racist Christmas dinner, I met Mary in the ski resort bathroom the next day.She was just as angry, so angry, and scolded the Spaniard who hurt her waist with a ski, they were all crazy.I laughed, how about this, if you still hurt, come down at 7pm and I'll give you a massage. She didn't come down that night.In the bathroom, I pressed the injured part for her a few times.She will practice skiing with the coach in the afternoon.It was my first experience with a black woman's body, which was thick, elastic, and strong.