Chapter 13 The Child Who Sorrows Forever——Reading "Peter Pan"

Peter Pan was a kid who never grew up, and he never grew up. When I saw this sentence, I thought I was jealous of him. My childhood was very happy, just like the crystal garden in fairy tales, there was only pure and transparent happiness.There is the love of my parents, the love of my grandparents, my older brothers and sisters, and a little girl next door with limp hair.I often have new clothes to wear, sweets to eat, and There are many toys, different from other children, I also have many books.When I was five years old, I was able to read comic strips with words and calculate two-digit multiplication.I am a child who grew up in happiness.If possible, I really hope that time can stay in my childhood and not flow away quickly.

But I still grew up quietly in the bright sunshine, in the love of my parents, and in the lonely wind.The colors flowing through my heart are no longer like the pure bright yellow or dark blue in my childhood, representing pure happiness or sadness.When I grew up, thousands of colors flowed through my heart. I thought they would be as fleeting as clear water flowing through a smooth slate, but they left mottled shadows on the surface of my heart. , like the surface of a copper pot that has been soaked in water for thousands of years.There are painful smiles, and there are trance-like sadness when you are happy.All kinds of lights together are bright white, but all kinds of oil paints together are decadent black.I tried to change, but then found that I couldn't do anything, my grief was too great.So the day continued like this.

Peter Pan will stay forever on Neverland, in his childhood.And he can fly, everyone loves him, I should envy him.But I don't.I don't like Peter Pan, I even hate him a little bit sometimes.Because he is wayward.He always hurts those who love him, and he never considers whether others are sad. I don't like this little monster that doesn't grow up. But on the "Under the Banyan Tree" website that day, Xiao Xu told me: Peter Pan is a laid-back child, he is too headstrong.But you are just like him. But you are just like him. When I saw this sentence, my heart began to fall, falling endlessly-every time I thought I had fallen to the bottom, but it still fell.It turned out that I was a sad child.

June 6th.Twelve midnight.Gemini is bright.my birth. I was born on the edge of the junction of two days, under the huge shroud of Gemini, I am a double personality.The night gave me black eyes, but it made me fall in love with the sharp pain that black gave me. I have been educated to be an obedient child since I was a child, with self-cultivation and a clean appearance.Xiao Xu once said to me: Peter Pan is a laid-back child, but you are too obedient and well-behaved. Your life seems to be gliding along a drawn track. Although your wings are spread, you maintain the same posture. Hovering low, stiff and numb.

I know that Peter Pan can fly, and he flies very well and naughtily.He skims the sea from time to time.Sometimes it goes into very high clouds. "Michael was about to fall into the sea, so Peter Pan rushed down and grabbed him. Peter Pan did a good job, but he always waited until the last moment to save people, and , he seems to be deliberately showing off his abilities, not specifically to save people." You see, he is such a proud and self-willed boy, and he hurt his friends again. Xiao Xu once wrote such a sentence: "What's behind love?" "It's hate."

"No, it's forgotten." Peter is a person who often forgets others, or he has never loved others. "Since he forgot those things so quickly," Wendy said thoughtfully, "how can he be expected to remember us all the time?" Indeed, sometimes when Peter flew back, he didn't know them, at least he didn't recognize them.Wendy saw this clearly. "Whether it's daytime or other times, when Peter flew over and saw them, there was a look in his eyes trying to recognize them. Once, Wendy had to call out his name to him." I don't like Peter like this. He needs everyone's love for him. He can act willfully in that love, like a child running wild in the snow, but he doesn't love others.Or to put it more sadly, he doesn't know how to love others.

A person who loses the ability to love others is sad.Annie does not love others easily, because she was cut a big wound by the fate of love.But Peter is purely childish, because of his willful selfishness.So everyone who loved him felt sad and sad for him, including Wendy, including the little fairy Dinka who was jealous of Wendy and died for him, including the Indian princess Tiger Lily, including the children on Neverland, And those mermaids who are willing to let Peter ride on their tails to play.Including me, I think I love him too, and I say to others: I think Peter Pan is a poor boy. I think Peter Pan is a poor kid.

In the middle of writing this article, I called Xiao Xu.It was already 7:15 that night, and everyone was studying by themselves last night.I stood in the phone booth at the gate of the school holding the phone. The night wind blew over, and I smelled the scent of grass on my freshly washed hair.I told Xiao Xu that I was writing a book review.Xiao Xu said why did he think of writing about Peter?I said it was because he was a poor child who was both hated and distressed.Xiao Xu said that you are the first person to feel sorry for Peter. Xiao Xu insisted that Peter was a down-to-earth child. I didn’t know what about Peter made Xiao Xu feel down-to-earth, just as Xiao Xu couldn’t figure out what about Peter made me feel pitiful.

Xiao Xu said that I was the first person to write a book review for fairy tales.I told her that Gu Xiang also wrote book reviews for fairy tales, and wrote, too.Gu Xiangdui's book review is quite good, and I feel that I am doing a stupid thing like drawing red on paper or superimposing superfluous things by writing it now. Xiao Xu encouraged me to say no, you and Gu Xiang wrote different things. So I also laughed and comforted myself: Yes, it’s really different. We read two versions. The Wendy she said was the Wendy I said, and the version she read seems to translate better than mine. a little.

We both laughed when we finished.I saw that my smile on the glass wall was extraordinarily bright, like a happy child. Xiao Guo, you really look like a child.Xiao A told me so, and Yicao also said so to me.I remember the first time I saw Yicao when I went to Shanghai alone, and he and I were waiting for the bus by the side of the road.Yicao said: Xiao Guo, you really look like a child.So I said I was just a child.Yicao looked at me with a smile: Xiao Guo, I really like you. You admit that you are young, instead of pretending to be mature like ordinary sixteen or seventeen-year-old children.

Yes, I have seen many junior high school kids smoking ugly in adult positions, and I feel sorry for them.Why grow up in a hurry, one day you will find that you have really grown up irretrievably, then it is impossible for you to become smaller again. When Yicao was talking, I didn't tell him how much I didn't want to grow up for a while. It was in the third year of junior high school, and I told A that I didn't want to grow up anymore, and it would be great to go to kindergarten for the rest of my life.Little A said: Think about Peter, the child who is always sad. After listening to Little A’s words, I began to hope that I would grow up quickly, and I must learn to cherish and learn how to love and tolerate others, because I don’t want to lose my temper like a willful child like Peter and let love One's own heart is sad.I don't want to see my parents getting old, my friends holding their children, the young saplings growing into towering trees, the mountains being flattened by the wind, and the sea being filled with sand, but I am still a person who can't grow up. A heartless child full of deciduous teeth who can't be changed forever. If that's the case, I think I'll cry. Peter loves himself too much, he is innocent and selfish. "The number of children on the island is constantly changing, because some are killed, or for other reasons, when they are about to grow up-this is not in accordance with the regulations, Peter will not allow them to grow up, so Peter starves them Thin until starved to death." "I, Tiger Lily, talk about spirits," said the beautiful princess. "Peter Pan saved my life, and I will be his good friend forever. I will never let pirates hurt him." On the side of Princess Tiger Lily, this is out of gratitude and politeness, but in Peter's view, this is the reward he deserves.So, he often said condescendingly, "Very well, very well, Peter Pan said it." Every time he said, "Peter Pan said it," he shut the other person up. "Peter doesn't allow the kids to look a little bit like him." A person who loves himself too much often hurts others without knowing it. I asked Rabbit the other day if I was a hateful person.Rabbit says in a sense you are.So I asked the rabbit why.The rabbit said that you always promise things to others easily.For example, you promised to give me a pearl rabbit, promised to give me your article, promised to teach me flower arrangement, but in the end you did nothing. I want to tell Rabbit that my printer is broken and the screen of my computer is burned so the article can’t be printed out, and I also want to tell her that my relatives haven’t given me Pearl Rabbit so I can’t give it to her, and I want to tell her again I don't know where the book I used to learn flower arranging got, so I can't teach her with just a mouthful.I still want to tell her a lot of things, but after thinking about it, I find it too troublesome, and besides, she may not believe it.So give up. When someone asks me for help, I usually don't think much about it, and I agree immediately.Because I don't want to see others disappointed.But when I worked hard and found that I really couldn't help, I only let others down even more.I know I'm getting things the wrong way.Friends say that I am good at giving others a beautiful illusion. Peter Pan hurt people, and I hurt people.But in a sense, Peter was unintentional, and I was intentional—even though I was intentional about making other people happy. That day the rabbit said to me with a serious face: You should stop making promises to others easily, you really should change it.So I whispered like a child who made a mistake: Got it, I must get rid of this bad habit. Peter has a very bad habit - duplicity.It also shows that he is really just a kid. Wendy was leaving, the children were leaving, but Peter pretended to be indifferent, and he was still playing on his broken flute carelessly.Everyone asked him to find his mother together, but he didn't, "Go, I won't go, if I see her, she must expect me to grow up again, I don't want to grow up, I want to be forever A child, forever playing". "After the children left, he played the flute happily for a while. Of course, this was just to cover up his discomfort, to prove that he didn't care about his friends' leaving Wendy. He decided not to take medicine, just to get angry Wendy. Then he lay on the bed without a quilt, also to make Wendy angry. Usually, Wendy would tuck him into the bed for fear that he would catch a cold. He was so sad that he almost cried, but suddenly he Thinking how angry Wendy might be if he laughed. So he laughed." I don't want to see Peter and Wendy separated - lovers separated.Just like I hope to live with the person I love for the rest of my life.Children don't know how to love or cherish, so they can throw their beloved toys everywhere, and cry loudly when they can't find them, but they won't be too sad, because mother will buy new ones.But we always have to grow up, we have to learn to cherish when we grow up, how can we be so self-willed?Peter you make me angry. That day, I saw Xiao Xu’s post under the banyan tree: “You agreed to go to Shanghai with me, to see the beautiful French plane trees, but why did you withdraw your hand in advance? Why do you not know how to cherish it? Woolen cloth?" Then I realized that I really resembled Peter. Peter was a sad boy, and there are many places in the book that made my heart ache. For example, on the lagoon, both Peter and Wendy were injured and could not fly. At this time, the black tide rose up.At this time, a kite floated over, so Peter told Wendy to climb on the kite viciously and leave him alone.But when Wendy left, Peter was also afraid.The mermaids circled around him, but there was nothing they could do.The gray moonlight shines on the surface of the water and into the water.So while listening to the saddest voice in the world—the mermaid singing the moon, he bravely said to himself: death is the greatest adventure. This is my favorite plot, and it's also what Gu Xiang likes. For example, what Peter said to Wendy, he said: I always thought that my mother would always wait for me with the window open, so I played outside for two months, and then two months, and then two more. month, and then I flew home.But the window has been bolted, and my mother has forgotten all about me, and a little one is sleeping in my bed. Then Wendy and the kids flew home, the windows were still open, and the house was full of joy.But Peter was outside the glass window, and he couldn't go in.Peter had happiness that other children could not enjoy, but he could never enjoy this kind of happiness inside the glass window. This sad child, I hope he grows up one day too.Let me end with Gu Xiang's words: "Turn to the right at the second intersection, and keep walking until dawn. This is the road to Neverland. But this is just what Peter said casually, even if you open the dusty map and let the birds flying across the whole earth find it, I couldn't find it either. But Wendy believed it, and so did I. I think I've forgiven Peter Pan." Standing on the tail of the child's title, I really forgive this sad child.