Chapter 3 left and right hands in seven days

The resolute and decisive bell announced the end of the final exam of the first year of high school.Within three seconds of the bell ringing, I quickly changed a multiple-choice question from A to C, and then escaped from the examination room without hesitation.If I run a little slower, I will be dragged by other candidates, and then grab me to answer the answer, one pair will last forever, and in the end there will be too many differences between me and them and their extremely confident eyes. Totally wrecking my nervous system while announcing the arrival of a not-so-great vacation. I have no reason not to trust them any more than I can trust myself.Because I know that besides myself, I can enter the first exam

The people present are the elites of the whole grade.I attribute half of the reason why I was able to get into the first examination room to luck, and the other half of the reason is still floating in the air like plankton, looking for the final destination.The first three exams of my freshman year I was stupid enough to think I belonged to their level and join their spitting discussions.This is due to the inferiority of human beings. At a certain stage, people will inevitably expand their ego. I am also a human being, and I am a layman, so the result is tragic and the lesson is profound.A person who eats a pit will gain a wisdom, and a person who eats three pits and still does not gain a wisdom is a fool.I'm not an idiot, at least I don't admit that I am an idiot, so I ran away wisely.

It was still raining outside, from last night until now, so lingering that there was no smell of a summer rainstorm.When it was raining last night, I said that the rain would definitely stop within an hour. As a result, the gods in the sky probably heard these words, so he was a little angry: Why did such a small person order me?So Tiangong opened his posture and played endlessly. Look, I'm quite unlucky. No one, including the gods, will give me face and do what I want. So I imitated Jiang Wu in "Brave New World" and pointed to the sky and shouted: "If I fail the exam, the rain will stop immediately."

Just as I was carrying my schoolbag and was about to flee home, the headmaster’s drawn-out voice, obviously imitating a national leader, was heard on the radio: “Students return to the classroom and hold a broadcast school meeting.” Then I heard a majestic sigh that was unprecedented in the history of mountains and rivers, shaking the world and weeping ghosts and gods-I have heard the chorus of thousands of people, but this is the first time I have heard the chorus of thousands of people in my life. It really opened my ears.When I comforted myself to die, I had another reason to prove that my life was not in vain.

I walked into the classroom obediently, and my eyelids jumped when I entered the door.In fact, I should have known that this portended that all the bad luck had already begun. Everyone in the classroom is crazy.All the exams are over, and the beautiful holiday is waving to us not far away, there is really no reason not to be crazy now.Some people quarreled, some ran, some sang, and everyone tried their best to burn their little energy consumed by the exam to resist the darkness before dawn.Ten minutes ago everyone was tortured to death by the exam, and now it's all back to life.And I sat quietly in the corner alone, like a good boy.

The whole classroom was buzzing like a TV with no picture. Amidst the boundless noise, the principal's voice came unhurriedly. I didn't hear it clearly, but I only heard the words "arts and sciences". At that moment, I felt something hit my head hard with a "boom". There was a "whoosh" in front of my eyes. A small object in the chest shattered with a bang. I opened my mouth and stared at the green horn, motionless, like a machine that has been unplugged.Didn't you say that there is no distinction between arts and sciences?Didn't it mean that even if you want to get points, you don't get points until the end of the second year of high school?How do you say that the points are divided?

I was cranky and made myself very nervous.In fact, I have been worried about the division of arts and sciences since the third year of junior high school, but I am naturally slow, and I always procrastinate on everything. I even put off my holiday homework until three days before the start of school.So when I heard the news that the first year of high school ended without division of subjects, I was so happy that I thought I had another year to delay. But now I know I'm screwed.I'm really screwed. I was 21st in the liberal arts and 22nd in the sciences. They were evenly matched.Originally, I was very content, and I should be content, because in the words of the teacher, "the top 150 in the second middle school will be the key point, and the top 30 will be the key point."But now I kind of hope that I am like Little A——Zhuge Liang who is extremely smart in liberal arts, but A Dou who cannot be supported in science.Then I can go to liberal arts without looking back.

But the problem is that science is like my right hand, and liberal arts is like my left hand.I eat and write with my right hand, but I am used to turning books and playing cards with my left hand. To be or not to be is Hamlet's question. Now it's my question whether to be left or right. The head teacher walked into the classroom, and the surroundings became quiet.She said she wanted to talk about the division of arts and sciences.I thought she would tell us as usual that liberal arts in No. 2 Middle School is not as good as science; I thought she would persuade us all to choose science in order to stay in this class; Like a fly on a glass window, the future is bright but the road is not.But "I thought" was just "I thought," and what I thought was usually wrong.

She told us that the school promised to assign the best teachers to the liberal arts students in our grade, so those who want to study liberal arts, please feel free to go. This is a fatal temptation, and I feel that the balance in my heart is a little tilted. After the lecture, the teacher asked us with a smile on his face: "Are you reading literature or theory?" I felt like she was asking me: "Are you cutting off your left hand or your right hand?" Before I made a choice The whole class has already answered with a loud voice: "Science——" I saw the teacher smiling very satisfied.

When the crowd dispersed, I walked up to the podium lightly and told the teacher that I wanted a form for liberal arts.Although she was surprised, she gave me one without asking.I took the opportunity to ask her: "Teacher, am I suitable for studying science or literature?" The teacher said, "You are very special. I think you are suitable for both arts and science. But you may not be able to go to a good school for reading literature." Since the teacher Having said that, what else can I do?I retreated obediently, and the balance in my heart tilted back again. I dragged my big and small bags out of the school gate.I suddenly remembered what a student in the third year of high school said:

"The sky is designed to make people worry about wind and rain and whether it will collapse. The ground is designed to make people afraid of earthquakes and magma and whether it will crack. The time is designed to make people worry about it." I feel sorry for myself, sorry for the country, sorry for the whole universe, the college entrance examination is designed to test whether we will go crazy, and the division of subjects is to let us know that the 'all-round development' education we received since childhood is fundamentally wrong." I walked in the rain without an umbrella, which was very tragic. It was unbelievably hot.The higher the temperature, the more unstable the substance. This is the case in chemistry, thinking, and mood. This principle applies everywhere.I wandered back and forth in the living room like a depressed cat, looking at the broken air conditioner and looking at my left and right hands and sighing. hot.bother.Hot and annoying. The girl next door who just entered high school and was so happy was imitating Lin Xiaopei and shouting hysterically, "I'm annoying! I'm annoying!" I felt a little bit of sympathy for her.I'm bored now, and the troubled days are yet to come! I looked at the liberal arts form in my hand and wondered if I should start.My mother said I asked "left-handed or right-handed" at least thirty times a day, and I felt like Hamlet. I will be on vacation on July 3, and I will return to school on July 10 to choose arts and sciences. I have seven days to think about my left and right hands.But now it's July 7th, and I don't have much time. Under such extraordinary conditions, it is impossible for me to "grasp with both hands and be hard with both hands."But I'm not the only one who is annoying, I comfort myself, the senior three students have started to go to the examination room to work hard today. There are four columns in the liberal arts form: parents' opinions, class teacher's opinions, school's opinions, and the last is the reason for choosing liberal arts.And so I found my own will being made of little importance.I was amazed when I discovered this, and I still foolishly thought that studying was a personal matter! So I obediently asked my family members, from my parents to my grandparents to my cousins, but everyone categorically said two words: science.The balance in my heart tilted greatly. I thought of calling and asking Little A.I called Xiao A's house, but there was no one at home, and I called Xiao A's cell phone again, but he was in class, and he said he would come to see you at night, okay?I say yes. Little A is not teaching himself, but teaching others.He did initial training for clients for a computer company and was paid well enough to even provide him with a mobile phone.He has obtained a national advanced certificate in computer operation.I think he's a talent in that regard, and he thinks he's a genius.He said he was a bit overqualified for the job.I was overwhelmed with admiration for his self-confidence.Xiao A's life motto is: people live this time, and they should live in a domineering way. When Xiao A came to see me at night, I was watching "Focus Interview", and he said to go for a walk?I say yes. The neon lights on the street have risen, and the whole city has a completely opposite taste from the daytime. The ground is still hot, but the air is starting to cool down. Little A said that you are so good at science, why do you want to study liberal arts? I say because I miss the Chinese department. Little A said, do you know that choosing the Chinese department is now considered a desperate choice? I said I know but I just miss the Chinese department. Little A said that I know you write good articles, but will any university accept you because of the dozen or so articles you published?There are not one or two people who write articles in the world.If the billboard falls and kills ten people, nine will write articles. I said yes, there are not too many people who write good articles in the world, what am I. So the balance was seriously tilted, the general situation was gone, and my left hand was useless. When I got home, I told my parents that I had decided: I would study science.The parents immediately showed a "should have been like this" expression.I myself don't feel the relief of having finally made a decision. No one will be happy if their left hand is cut off. After the decision was made, I started to read novels crazily, whether it was to make up for the last supper or not, in short, I read it in a daze.This kind of result is not "let me love enough at once", and then turn around and "walk without looking back". Opening my beloved Chinese Department, I hold literature in my left hand, like a beggar holding the last copper coin and reluctant to let go. So I quietly got up at five o'clock in the morning, and filled out the liberal arts form in my room like a thief.I lay down on the desk and wrote stroke by stroke very piously. When I finished writing, a ray of sunlight came in and shone on my left hand.very warm. My parents certainly couldn't believe that I was throwing my future out so casually without knowing it, and without their knowledge.I think they will be very sad when they find out.I have a heavy sense of guilt. At the same time, I comforted myself: you are independent, you are very independent, you are awesome.But when I was dreaming, someone said to me: You are blind, you are not filial, you are so stupid.The balance in my heart shakes violently, a few weights are added to one side for a while, and a few heavy objects are placed on the other side for a while.I keep making decisions and keep vetoing them.I stayed up late reading one after another financial magazines, and I also stayed up late doing physics exercises one after another, until I finally made myself very haggard, until finally I had to say to myself over and over again: Believe in yourself, don’t waver, and withstand the pressure , The sky strikes thunder and missiles explode, whether it is a human or a demon, let them come here! On the night of July 9th I fell into bed very early.I kept my eyes open in the dark and couldn't sleep.I comforted myself: It's okay, it's okay, everything will be settled tomorrow, sleep well tonight, sleep well tonight. On July 9th, the senior three students finished their exams. They should be having a carnival, right?Why is it so quiet around here?Did they explode in silence or perish?I don't know, I just know I have to make a decision tomorrow. The great man said: Your own destiny is in your own hands.That's right.But while my destiny is in my hands, they are in the hands of others.The question marks in my mind squeezed out like crowds going to a market. Cut off the left hand or cut off the right hand? Left hand or right hand? left hand?right hand? ... July 10.At eight o'clock in the morning, I sat quietly at the table drinking milk.My mother asked me: Have you decided to choose science?I responded noncommittally in my throat.I made up my mind that if I get into the top 15 of the whole grade in the liberal arts examination this time, I will choose the essay. When I arrived at the school, almost all my classmates came together, and I found that no one took the division of subjects seriously except me.I asked ten people, ten of them told me "reasonable" as a matter of course, and no one chose the text.not a single person. The report card was sent out, and I saw "18" written under the ranking of liberal arts.My head is getting bigger.It stands to reason that I should give up, but I am not reconciled. When the teacher collects the liberal arts form, only Xiao A walks up.I held the form tightly in my hand, and I wanted to calmly step up to the podium and hand it to the teacher, but I found that I couldn't stand up.I just sat there so steadily until the teacher said "school is over" and until all the classmates finished walking. I saw my weakness and powerlessness. A butterfly flapping its wings in the southern hemisphere can trigger a typhoon in the northern hemisphere.But even if I swing my arms and kick my legs, I won't fall a single brick from the building.How nice it would be to drop a brick, how nice it would be to hit me on the head, and then I could go to see Max without a hitch. I saw the freedom in which I was imprisoned. There is a story that chickens are supposed to live seven years, but mechanically raised "broilers" were killed within seven weeks.They only see the sun twice in their life: one time when they were just born (not sure yet), and the other time is from the chicken farm to the "execution ground", and they hang their feet, the chicken head is down, their eyes are bloodshot, and they look at the sun. This upside-down world.I don't know if my eyes are bloodshot, but the world in my eyes is indeed an upside-down world. I saw my Chinese department. It is now waving goodbye to me.The gate leading to the Chinese Department closed slowly, just like the gates of the Forbidden City, closing the beautiful setting sun with the solemnity of history. Suddenly thunder roared and heavy rain fell.But it is neither gentle nor lingering, and the raindrops are falling downwards. I rushed into the rain like I did seven days ago, and at the same time I thought of Leslie Cheung's "Left and Right Hands". "From that day on I fell in love with my left hand, and from that day on I hated my right hand." I dropped my Liberal Arts watch, expecting it to take off in the wind, but it fell to the ground and was quickly drenched in rain.The black pen writing on the paper gradually became blurred and finally disappeared completely.It turns out that "black and white" is not necessarily something that cannot be changed.I'm sure I've found something I can't articulate, and I'm sad for what I can't articulate. I'm sure I'm in tears, but I can't tell which is rain and which is tears on my face. I don't know if it was the heavy rain that day or I walked very slowly, but I had a fever after I got home.After sleeping for two days, I woke up and found myself lying on a hospital bed on an IV.The bed is surrounded by a large family of parents, grandparents, grandparents and grandparents.I told them I chose science.I hope they wiped their tears and said, "Son, don't read the theory, just choose the text!" But they told me: your choice is right. So I sadly found that TV series really can't be equated with life, even though I hope it can be like real life. The small thing in the chest was shattered more thoroughly this time.I vaguely saw my beloved Chinese department smiling at me from the sky, and then walked away without looking back. I was so sad, I hid in the quilt and silently mourned for my left hand. Not long after class, I discovered that the biology teacher was really talented. It took him three minutes to talk about the arrogance of the trilobites on the earth during the Cambrian period from the cell membrane of paramecium.I think he must have been a big lobbyist who traveled around the world in his previous life, but in this life, he was really buried as a little biology teacher in a small middle school in this small city.But he seemed very satisfied. Since I got a very brilliant result in the biology test, the number of times he smiled at me inexplicably increased day by day. Of course, this did not make me have any special understanding, except that he had a mouthful of neat white teeth.In fact, there were too many uncertain factors involved in that biology exam, and too many uncertainties finally determined my brilliance.In retrospect, the little brilliance of the biology exam was actually a last-ditch fight after I failed all the previous five subjects.But the biology teacher doesn't know all this.That's why he's so confident in me and so happy.The ignorant are not only fearless but also carefree.How good it is to be ignorant. The biology teacher said to me: You are suitable for studying biology.It sounded like "You're Superman" to me.Who would believe this?Anyway, I don't believe it.I have always kept a respectful distance from the life of wearing a white coat, holding a test tube and looking at a microscope.Instead of studying polymers or DNA, I might as well go to forensic medicine. I can make a hole in the dead person and puncture a few holes in the right direction. In the end, the bad person will be punished. Fortunately, the innocent person is innocent, but the innocent person is the deceased.The work of a forensic doctor is a bit like "whipping a corpse".I told little A like this.After hearing this, little A immediately jumped away from me, looked me up and down two meters away from me, and finally said: You, no, normal, normal!I said it took you so long to realize that your reaction was slow enough. But in the face of the enthusiasm of the biology teacher, I have to respond somewhat.So I ran up to the podium in the biology evening self-study with a reference book thick enough to kill people, and then tried to make my eyes full of desire for knowledge.I do things that both make the teacher happy and relieve my guilt. When the teacher talked about the Cambrian period, I was inexplicably excited. I think I fell in love with these three words.But my poor geographical knowledge only let me know that this is the first period of the Paleozoic era hundreds of millions of years ago.But my geography knowledge was quite good when I was in the first year of high school, I don’t want to be too good!I got an A in geography in the graduation exam, and let some students around me who were strangers to me also get A's.I think I'm pretty generous. But now I only know that there was a big ice age before or after the Cambrian period, and the earth became a beautiful ice crystal ball, everywhere Big chunks of ice, and the wind whizzing and biting everywhere. All creatures are dead or dormant. Just like the current second and third classes in high school. The students in the mid-term exam class failed in an all-round way, and the failure was unprecedented.Our class is the only city advanced class group in the whole school, but the results this time made all the teachers not only surprised but also shattered.From the fact that I plummeted 30 places in my grade but was considered a "medium decliner" in the class, I can see that the degree of tragedy is extraordinary. The class teacher said that we failed because we were proud.The political teacher said that we did not pay enough attention to it.The English teacher said that because we are rigid and cannot be flexible.The math teacher said we were impetuous.The physics teacher said we were careless.Etc., etc.After the eighth subject teacher turned around like a lantern, we found out that we were so riddled with holes, so we put our tails together and behaved. Be a man with your tail between your legs.I told myself for the Nth time.But I don’t know if I don’t have a tail or my tail is too long. In short, it’s as difficult as a five-star physics problem for me to be a human being with my tail between my legs.So I went out of school to buy Faye Wong's new album at the risk of being late for the evening self-study. After I bought it, I found that the first song was called "Cambrian", so I sighed that it was worth dying. The explanation of the Cambrian period in the album is quite funny: the Cambrian period, the Paleozoic era of the universe, the first era of the beginning of the world, before the dinosaurs had time to meet the trilobites, and the seaweed had been entangled with the earth for 80 million years , the world is old, starting from the Cambrian period.Although Lin Xi wrote the lyrics for the entire album, I still can't believe that the above passage was written by Lin Xi.Lin Xi's words are either psychedelic or poignant or boring (mostly the first two, so Lin Xi is my favorite poet), but they are never funny.Asking Lin Xi to be funny is like asking Zhou Xingchi to play it-but he will probably play "Dead", it's so funny. But now few people in the class laugh because they have to keep their tails between their legs.The head teacher made an all-round reconnaissance with the classroom as the center of the circle, and the teacher's keen and insightful eyes flickered under every window, but our tails were tightly clamped, so the teacher's eyes became brighter day by day.Even in the political class, which is considered by science students to supplement sleep, some top science students use their invincible rational thinking to argue with the teacher about some issues about Marx.Little A said it was a miracle in the science class.We say that the head teacher actually has all the conditions 007 needs. Everything is arranged in a row, the college entrance examination is ranked first, and friendship and love are all arranged in the back.The teacher said it was a matter of course, and the parents said it was a matter of course, and we said that's okay.In fact, people are very easy to compromise, sometimes even without pressure.Time sweeps over everything like a scourge, and what is left in the hands are things that seem to be real but are as hard to grasp as air, such as sulfuric acid, quadratic functions, and energy conservation.As for what slipped through the fingers, no one thought about it, and no one dared to think about it.My heart hangs in a panic. The good old days when thousands of troops crowded the single-plank bridge have passed, and we are all tightrope walkers. The test papers seem to have increased overnight, flying in the classroom one by one like snowflakes.In the beginning, some people asked me where I got so many test papers, but after that, no one asked, and I just took them habitually.The teacher once said: In the third year of high school, if you take the test paper and do it as soon as you see it, it means that you have entered the state.Now think about it, we have entered the state in advance.Gradually, people also became a little numb. I just remember that one day the chemistry teacher said to take out the twenty-fourth paper we handed out this week.It makes me want to commit suicide. Time still flows, the market is still peaceful.But the calm appearance gave birth to the undercurrents at the bottom, and the silent center gave birth to shocking explosions.The center of the outbreak is Rhubarb and the God of Wealth.I heard people say that they "recognized that they were more suitable for studying liberal arts with the help of the head teacher and decided to transfer classes."Everyone knows that this is the first step for the head teacher to optimize the class structure.I had dinner with Dahuang and Caishen on the day they decided to switch classes.After the meal, the three of us fell on the bed and watched the sky outside the window darken every second.Da Huang said that when I graduated from junior high school, the teacher told me every day that you have to work hard to get into a good school. As a result, I really fucking got in, but now no teacher knows my name except the head teacher.The God of Wealth said that when I graduated from junior high school, when I took the physical education special admissions exam, the teacher would get up at five o'clock in the morning to practice with me.Rhubarb said that if there was an afterlife, I would definitely study hard from the first year of high school.The God of Wealth said that if there was an afterlife, I would study desperately since junior high school. Wouldn't the fuck just make myself so stupid that I could only do the questions? Who wouldn't.I said that if I still want to learn this way in the next life, then I don’t want the next life.After we finished speaking, the three of us were dumbfounded, and no one spoke.Later, the God of Wealth said to me: Boy, you can call me when you miss me in the future, even if I am on the train, I will jump off to find you.I said don't worry, I will call you after you get on the train.After I finished speaking, I felt my nose sore.Da Huang said let's go to the last evening self-study.It was only 6:40 when I left the dormitory, but it was already completely dark.The faint light of the street lamp desperately propped up a mass of light, but it was also gradually eroded by the thick night.I suddenly remembered that it was already winter.So I told them to go first, I have something to do.As soon as they walked away, my tears fell, and I gritted my teeth and cursed: What the hell is this!Then I wiped away my tears and hurried to evening self-study. Later, they really switched to liberal arts. And I stayed in the science class and insisted on dying.Learn to be patient, learn to be numb, learn to grind away the edges and corners, and restrain the light.Learn everything you need to know before your eighteenth bar mitzvah. Until the first bodhi grows in the Garden of Eden / We learn to be lonely / Searching while walking in the Swan Lake / Searching / In the end everyone has an ending. My life began to become like the quicksand in Lop Nur, with countless whirlpools pulling me down.Although I knew that I might be submerged in the next second, I remained indifferent and let the quicksand submerge my feet, knees, chest, and neck bit by bit until I was submerged.I think it's good for me to hibernate for a while when the ice age comes. My battery is running out and I want to save energy.I just need to wake up when the earth recovers. At that time, the spring will be warm, the flowers will bloom and the sun will be bright, and the frog will come back to life and the mermaid will sing. At that time, I can listen to tapes on the same bed with them after the lights are turned off at night, and I can spread my wings and glide freely. . But, but.But yesterday the biology teacher told me with a smile on his face that the Great Ice Age appeared after the Cambrian.So I found sadly that the real ice age was still waiting for me not far away, just like a gentle mine waiting for me to detonate.And now—this Cambrian-like high school sophomore is just a small cold wave before the Ice Age.So I began to think about whether people will be turned upside down when the ice age comes, and whether I can persist until the day when the ice and snow melt.no one knows. And now I only hope that the Ice Age will never come. If I must add a time limit to this expectation, I hope it will be 10,000 years.