Chapter 36 you are not willing?

Speaking of the thing I once talked about, that is, the problem of writers and female novelists arousing sexual desire.I am seventy years old, and I still want to say something: It was a few years ago, two or three years ago, I received a letter from a person who wrote to me, and the letter was of this type: "I want to Having sex with you at 9 am on Monday the 23rd." I thought: This must be a crazy person.Then I forgot about it.But at 9 a.m. on Monday, January 23, someone rang the doorbell.who is it?Say, "It's me. You open the door. I wrote you..." I said, "Are you kidding?" He said, "You don't want to?" I said, "Well, I don't." He said nothing.He lay down on the ground facing the door.Just lay there all morning.I spoke to a few tenants on the phone, we are usually very solidarity, they know that I am often in trouble.They came and said to the young man, "You know, we know each other about her (sic) and she'll never open the door." The young man, he said some nice things like: No, I've gotten close to her anyway, and it's fine, fine. "I didn't get out of the house until the afternoon came. Then he left without saying goodbye.

I said: It wasn't me, someone else wrote "Lohr wa Stein" and I don't know if I'll take it without any difficulty.And The Vice Consul.And Pain.And The Atlantics.Either I stop writing or I write something like Rinaldi.who knows? ①Rinaldi, a contemporary French novelist. Sartre, most of the time I don't think about him at all.When thinking about him, I have to say that he is similar to Solzhenitsyn.Solzhenitsyn of a country without the Gulag archipelago.I see him living alone in the desert he made himself.This is also a form of exile.How I wish Conrad was still alive.What a blessing it would be to have a new Conrad every day.

In recent years, as far as I am concerned, it is not Proust that is obsessed, but Musil②, mainly "Man Without Personality", the last volume.Today is September 20th. It should be said, I will say that the authors I read with passion this year are Xie Gelan ③ and Musil.But today, September 20th, the most beautiful and shocking book I have read in years is Matisse's book on the dance of the Barnes group, Essays and Conversations on Art, by the poet Dominique Fu Edited by Ertong De, Erman Edition.I'm currently reading Renan's Life of Jesus, and the Bible.During this time I also read Jean Eustache's wonderful dialogues in The Mother and the Whore.Are my books difficult to understand, you want to know, don't you?Yes, it is difficult to understand.But it is not difficult.It's hard to understand. "Atlanticians", difficult to understand, yet so beautiful, is not difficult.Rather people do not understand.In fact, these books are impossible for people to understand.Because between the book and the reader there is a relationship that has been stripped away.Some people are complaining and some are crying, so let's complain together and cry together.

②Robert Musil (1880-1942), an Austrian writer, his "Man Without Personality" is an unfinished masterpiece; the first volume was published in 1930, the second volume was published in 1933, and the third volume was published in 1943 Organized and published by posterity. ③ Xie Gelan (1878-1919), a French writer and poet, came to China in 1908, traveled to Tibet, conducted archaeology in the Central Plains, and went to the Northeast. Novels, poems, etc., his works have attracted more and more attention.