Chapter 19 A Father's Plea

On the Internet, a father who lost his wife asked for help in the Kissing Baby column, asking everyone how to teach the daughter who lost her mother so that she would not feel lonely.I am reminded of a child that weighs on my heart.At that time, I always wanted to record it, but because of sadness, I couldn't write it down. In kindergarten, we often read some story books.I remember one day, I read: DARLING, I CAN DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU (baby, I am willing to do everything for you).It's saying, baby, I'm your mother, and I'd do anything for you.The screen opens, and the mother bear tells the child a story, bathes the child, accompanies the child to school, and watches the sunrise with the child. Finally, the mother male kisses the sleeping bear, closes the story book, and whispers to the child: "DARLING, I CAN DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU, YOU ARE MY LOVE."

After finishing this story, I asked the children around, does your mother give you a bath?Does your mother kiss you?Does your mother take care of you when you are sick?The children happily scrambled to answer yes, yes.I noticed that Benjemin was hiding in a corner of the wall, keeping his head down and not speaking.At that time, I was temporarily substituting for another teacher who was on maternity leave in this class, so I asked Benjemin: "What did your mother do for you?" Ben raised his innocent eyes, but with infinite melancholy, said: "My mother died , a year ago." He was a four-year-old child.I held him tightly in my arms, and that day, I held him all the time.

I feel that I made a big mistake. When I didn't know the situation, I hurt an immature heart in front of many children.I carefully prepared a "DIFFERENT FAMILIES IN THE WORLD" (Different Families in the World) class for this purpose.In this class, I introduce the children to all kinds of different families in the world.Some families are small with just a young couple, while others are large with grandparents, parents, uncles and aunts, siblings and even two dogs.Some families have only the father, while others have only the mother.Some families have divorced parents, they will have two fathers and two mothers, HOW LUCKY THEY ARE!So lucky!Some children look very similar to their parents because they have BIRTH PARENTS, the parents who gave birth to them; in some families, the children are completely different from their parents because they were adopted by their parents.At the end of this class, I told the children that no matter what kind of family you live in, you are happy, because your relatives, your teachers, and all the friends around you care about you and love you. You, I hope you are happy.

In front of all the kids, I pulled BENJEMIN to my side and I told him, do you know why your mother left you?Another meaning of death is that she went to heaven.Your mother is so beautiful and kind. The little angel in the sky has no mother and needs her to take care of her. She left you, but she brought joy to other angels. "WE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT NICE SHARING. DO YOU LIKE SHARE YOUR MUMMY'S LOVE WITH ANGELS IN THE HEAVEN?" Say, but, but, I don't have a mother anymore.I said, no, my mother is still your mother, she will always watch you in the sky and accompany you, and she also asked me to take care of you.we all love you.I asked Ben to tell the class how his mom used to love him, and he had so much fun reminiscing about how his mom sang to him, wrapping him in a bath towel and kissing him, and he could even sing it all clearly The song his mother sang to him when he was a baby, and the moment he sang it, I cried uncontrollably.Until now, when I recall the scene at that time, I burst into tears in front of the screen.In the end, Ben showed the photos of his mother, which was placed close to his chest, to the students. Such a beautiful and kind mother is just as I thought in my heart.

Ben's father, the next day, wrote me a long thank you note.He said that in the year after Ben's mother left, the family avoided mentioning the word mother, including Ben's 6-year-old sister.He couldn't recall the agony his wife had suffered before her death, and Ben's mother had cancer.Until yesterday, Ben came home very happy, touched his dad's face and told his dad that mom was with us and she was in heaven.And told his father that he told his classmates at school how his mother used to kiss him.That day, the whole family looked through the photos of their mother in the past, and their father told them many things about their mother.

Ben has long since left our school, and he goes to another Kindergarten with higher grades.But every weekend, he and his sister would come to play with me, and after I had a new home, they stayed with me overnight.That night was the happiest moment of my recent sad days. I felt really like a mother, bathing the children, playing water fights with them, reading stories on the bed, and squeaking each other. After falling asleep, I kissed them like my mother did, and told them: "I would do everything for you, because I love you." I thought, I was speaking for their mother. After what happened to Ben, I paid great attention to the words I used when giving lectures at school.In our class, a considerable number of children are adopted by their parents, and they come from mainland China, Taiwan and Cambodia.When telling stories, besides saying that mom loves you, I also emphasize that dad loves you, and more importantly, if your mother is not your biological mother, then you are lucky, you have two mothers who love you in different parts of the world.Guide children to express their feelings, vent their feelings, and encourage them to express their sorrow and confusion. I think this is much healthier than suppressing and deceiving him.Moreover, I never do FAMILY TREE traditional European and American teaching in my class.Because some children were over one and a half years old when they were adopted by their parents, and their history before that was blank.I usually change to "FAMILY LOVE".For children, it is enough to let them know that the world is full of love.

2003-12-21