Chapter 71 backtracking

In 1931, the peaceful years in the south of the Yangtze River were warm and warm like a spring with infinite events. In April, the peach blossoms on Moshang gradually fade away, and the mastflowers bloom all over the mountain like clouds hanging from the sky.The spring river grows green, and the water surface widens like a freshwater river.The river has a name, Miluo River, and there are small boats floating on the water. It takes about an hour to walk from his home to the river. The official place name is Yanjiachong, Baishui Township, Xiangyin County, Hunan Province.There is an old camphor tree at home, and a plum blossom grows on the tree.At dusk, the young mother gave birth to the eldest grandson of the family.Fifty-two years later, she can still articulate the incident:

"It was You Shili. It was just dark at that time. When he was born, he had a lamp in his hand." Gradually began to have a memory, standing in front of the embroidery frame with a small body, watching my mother embroider.Mother embroidered roses, butterflies, swallows, and plum blossoms.When my mother embroidered larger quilts and screens, she drew the drafts first. As for the embroidered shoe uppers and pillowcases for brides, she could improvise and embroider directly.In the middle of embroidery, it is inevitable to stop to do housework.As soon as the mother walked away, the little boy grabbed the needle and pricked it into the white satin.After embroidering a few stitches, my mother came back, looked at it, and found that it was wrong, and it was very troublesome to reassemble it.Embroidery was a sideline of the family at that time, and little boys were not allowed to play such "extravagant games", so it was logical that they had to be beaten up.It's just that after the fight, the little boy still can't stand the temptation to engage in this kind of "adventure" next time. What kind of light green goes with what kind of pink?How to form a surface with lines?Why do half plum blossoms and half peach leaves have their own ups and downs in the twists and turns between light and dark? This is how they are embroidered and beaten, and then embroidered again after beating. The strange thing is that one day my mother stopped beating people, because seven The eight-year-old boy can already embroider to the same level as his mother.

The family still weaves and dyes cloth, and the little boy is always watching excitedly while cooking and dyeing.If it is dyed clothes, it is even more particular. The mother knows how to tie special patterns on the cuffs, collars, pockets, etc. After dyeing, the tied threads are loosened, and the white flowers left on the blue or purple cloth often amaze the little boy. The simpler method is to spread the whole cloth on the bank of the lotus pond at the end of Xia Dynasty, and the little boy jumped off the shovel to dig and borrow the mud. After digging the mud, spread it on the cloth to expose it to the sun.Wash it off when it dries, and then apply it to the sun.After five or six passes, the cheesecloth becomes a brownish-gray purple.Almost all the men in the family wear this kind of cloth.

He also herds cattle, brews rice wine by himself, picks up chestnuts, fungi, and gardenia fruits formed by gardenia flowers.The days are busy and leisurely - it seems that I know the parting in the future, so I have stored the memories I need for the whole life in advance. At the age of fifteen, he went to junior high school. The school was called Miluo Middle School, which was located in Quzi Temple.The ancestral hall is on the bank of the river, and the students drink water from the Miluo River.The father sent his son to the shrine with a load of luggage on his shoulders, registered his son, and went straight to the last place where he entered the shrine, knelt down, and kowtowed three times to the golden inscription "Chu Sanlu Dafu Quzi's God's Tablet" , the boy also bowed three times.The father probably didn't expect that after three kowtows, the Chinese god of poetry accepted the boy as his disciple, making the boy's whole life belong to the soul of poetry.

At first, when he was ten years old, the boy read "Zuo Zhuan" and "Zuo Zhuan" with Professor Song Rong. Professor Song returned to his hometown from Peking University to recuperate.He didn't know that twenty-seven years later he would also enter the Forbidden City, and he was also an editorial board member of the "Forbidden City Cultural Relics Monthly" after studying Lu Wu.he recalled.I feel that meeting Mr. Song was the first major event in my life, and the other major event was reading a new literature magazine published in Changsha at the teacher's house in physics and chemistry, and knowing that there are novels, essays and poems in the world.

In 1948, joined the army.At the train station in Changsha City, the boy watched his uncle running around looking for him on the full moon platform outside the train window, trying to arrest him and go home, but he cruelly ignored him.In the military register he wrote his name.Therefore, he was assigned a student symbol with a red border to wear on his chest, with "Yuan Dexing" written on it. In the same year, there was another one-year-old boy far away who lived under the Small Wild Goose Pagoda in Xi'an City. The earliest river connected with his life was called Weishui. The generation of my great-grandfather was the magistrate in Xi'an, and he was the one who succeeded Cixi in the year when Cixi fled.Probably because of such a family background, he was married to a promising name: Jiang Xun.

After the Revolution of 1911, the generation of my great-grandfather who was a bannerman declined.Before his death, his great-grandfather passed down a will that his son must marry a woman from the Han family outside Xi'an, a commoner, hard-working and persevering woman, so that the family could be rejuvenated, and my grandmother married like this.The grandfather obviously didn't love his wife very much, so he fled all the way to Yenching University to study.But this grandma is really a good hand in life. When her husband is away, she raises a litter of cats.During the years when the Japanese invaded China, other houses in Xi'an had nothing to eat, but she was able to sneak out in the morning when the city gates opened.As soon as she left the city, she was like a tiger on the mountain. There were her friends and relatives everywhere outside the city. It was not a problem to get some food. Later, she divided the big house into more than one hundred units and sublet it to others. In terms of flour, the big warehouse is full of flour.

Seeing the birth of her little grandson, she was very happy, because the little boy already had an older brother, and she believed with all her heart that she could pass the child on to the matrilineal line, so she loved her very much.The winter in Xi'an was bitterly cold, so she tied the baby in the crotch of thick cotton trousers, like a bunch of keys that no one else could get their hands on. My mother studied at the Xi'an Women's Normal School, and she kept singing the song at the graduation ceremony: "Today we are the fragrance of peaches and plums, and tomorrow we will be the pillars of society." She also has a butterfly brand harmonica from Shanghai. Later, because of poverty, After changing the flour, Qin Qiong probably felt sad about selling the horse afterwards, so every time he quarreled with his father, he would bring up the "harmonica incident" and scold him again.

Jiang Xun saw the grandeur and brightness of Chinese folk women from his mother. She went to visit the "National Palace Museum" in Taipei, and when she saw those thin and transparent porcelain bowls, she sneered: "We have a lot of these things in our family. In the past, when your grandma was in a bad mood, she would drop one of them." Seeing the emerald in the lady's hand, she also smiled: "What is this? In the past, a bannerman's woman would have a flat hairpin on the back of her head, one foot long, pure emerald, put it in water, and the pot will be full of green—" — When fleeing, don’t you have to throw this kind of thing away? If you lose it, just throw it away.”

The mother has a strong intuition and instinct for beauty, but she can not be attached to it, and there is nothing wrong between things and me. When fleeing to the south, I arrived in Fujian and embarked from Changle.The little boy cried, and his mother hid him under the cabin to scare him not to cry anymore—the early experience of fear continued to become a nightmare in the boy's heart later on. He often dreamed of ancient wells, terrified suffocation and pursuit. Temporarily living in a place called Baigou in the Xisha Islands, well-meaning fishermen sometimes throw them a few fish, and the days go on like this.Strangely, many years later, the sister still remembered the fish that the fishermen gave them:

"What a big squid, put it in the ashes and simmer—oh, it's so delicious..." Finally, the whole family arrived in Taiwan and lived in Dalongdong. The Wei River was replaced by the Danshui River, and the Confucian Temple was the place where the little boy went to play every day.As for the mother who easily forgets the green hairpin, she would rather find some rouge to add red to the steamed buns for the New Year. This is the real joy in the world. In 1952, the little girl was nine years old and lived in a place called Wan Chai.There are variegated lantanas on the truant slope, just enough for a little girl to climb up.There are herbal tea sellers on lively street corners, and she and her sister always go to drink it—in order to earn the delicious tangerine peel plum after drinking.Of course, there are other things: such as the warmth left in the palm of your hand when you are led home by the police in the afternoon when you are lost, such as the old street with a high slope like a ladder, such as having to roll your tongue to learn to speak Cantonese, such as being taken by a young father during the holiday The joy of going to Repulse Bay to play in the water, such as the peaceful and stable feeling of the old Ying Kee Tea Shop... However, it is strange that this family lives in that building-they are Mongolians, the whole Wanchai and the whole Hong Kong For them, the island is not as vast as the grassland in their hometown. The grassland stretches to the end of the world, and so does the fragrance of grass. It is divided into two halves by the Xila Morun River. Living along the lake, the lake is called the beautiful lake of Han Nuo Ri (Han Nuo Ri Lake means "Emperor's Lake" in Mongolian).Before World War II, a Japanese academic group had an article "Investigation of the Mongolian Plateau". The lake described in the article is as follows: Along the infinite grassland, from far to near, there is a beautiful lake called Han Nuo Ri, which covers an area of ​​about four li. The lake is clear and clear, and it is determined to be a freshwater lake. Thousands of water birds fly in groups on the lake, and cattle drink leisurely by the lake. , the beautiful scenery is present, and I can't bear to be attached... But for the little girl, neither the river nor the lake is there. She only knows the dazzling sunshine in Wan Chai, and only knows the taste of soda water in the welfare agency after class. In five years, from elementary school to junior high school, her life All the classmates know her name is Xi Murong, but no one knows her real name is Mulun Xi Lianbo, which means "Dajianghe". When she was in the first day of junior high school, the whole family decided to come to Taiwan and live in the mountain trails in Beitou. That year was 1954, and she was 11 years old. In that year, Yuan Dexing had already traveled through Hankou, Nanjing, Shanghai, Keelung and Hukou, and lived on the island for five years. "Home is in the depth of receiving kindness", and he has unknowingly regarded Hukou as his second hometown. Maybe it was because of a friend who had learned a little bit of framed painting, and he also drew some plum blossoms and loquats for fun, and when they were mounted, they took them to the only painting shop on Hukou Street to hang them. The appearance of this kind of thing is bound to cause a sensation—it may be his first art exhibition, if those award-winning posters in junior high school are not counted. The pseudonym Chu Ge had not yet been adopted. At that time, he was busy editing publications, visiting Ms. Tian Manshi's house to see paintings, and making friends with literati. In 1957, he took the painting to Zhongxiao West Road in Taipei to mount it. The person in the mounting shop told him that someone wanted to buy this painting, so he sold it for 600 yuan. It was the first painting sold in his life, and the money he got was enough for himself. Get drunk with friends. Still depressed, a small soldier who can neither return home nor die in battle, will go to the South by chance. At that time, one of his elder brothers, Zhao Yuming, also signed up. When asked why, he said: "No, Yuan Bao has signed up. He is confused. How can I not follow him to take care of him?" Although he didn't make the trip, fortunately, he found a bigger challenge in the field of knowledge and art!Fighting is fighting, you have to try it in time! On the first day he moved into the village, Jiang Xun went to the Confucian Temple to watch Yetai Gezai Opera.Mother has always liked Henan Bangzi, so she went too.While watching, she explained: "This is "Wujiapo"!" It is also strange that my mother can understand Gezai opera sung in Hokkien.In the days at home, my mother is a good storyteller.Her story is sometimes simple and straightforward.For example: "Then Wang Baochuan, because he has been digging wild vegetables to eat, eating, eating, and later turned into a green belly..." Her words are unbelievable, and sometimes, when she talks about "Liao Zhai" in a serious manner, neighbors and children also come in to listen.The younger brother is afraid and loves to listen. At some orgasm, he fell backward in fright and got several stitches on his head. This incident made his father scold him again and again. Every March 12th, the public will distribute the saplings. At that time, it was stipulated that every family should build an air-raid shelter. The young Jiang Xun and his family put the lotus distributed in the air-raid shelter.Hibiscus is white early in the morning, gradually turns pink, and finally turns bright red.In addition, every family planted willows, and the willows grew vigorously.Of course, the air-raid shelter has never been used once, but it has become a place for children to play, raising birds and turtles in it, and even ducks ran into it to secretly hatch a nest of eggs. The children and ducks kept this secret together—until The mother was surprised to see a nest of little yellow ducks popping out of nowhere. The so-called war is probably a bit like that air-raid shelter, which is faintly located there. You can’t say that it doesn’t exist, but there are hibiscus planted on it, and ducks hatched on the bottom, which is dissolved by life.The boy wears flowers and blows the willows——we ran to Danshui River to fly a kite, but we ran too fast, the thread broke, and the kite flew across the river.He gave up the kite and turned his head to look at the sunset. By the way, he also looked at Guanyin Mountain, which was in the same direction as the sunset. When she was admitted to Taipei Normal University at the age of 14, Xi Murong started her painting career with a big easel on her back.That year, Chu Ge began to read art exhibitions and art reviews hard, and later felt that what others said was not enough, so he wrote it himself.And 13-year-old Jiang Xun appeared in the classroom of the Public Service Department, stood in front of the old painter and asked: "I don't have money to pay for tuition—can I come and learn painting?" The old painter stared at the boy, nodded and said: "sure!" In 1966, Chu Ge retired from the military and was admitted to the Fine Arts Department of the Night Department of the Academy of Fine Arts, while Jiang Xun had just started studying at the History Department of the Cultural University.After graduation, he studied at the Institute of Art and Culture. In 1972, at the age of 25, he set off for Paris. "I used to think that Xi'an was my nostalgia, but the moment the plane took off, I realized it wasn't. Taiwan became like a small map under my feet. It felt very strange. Only then did I know that Xi'an was my parents' nostalgia, and Taipei was. My own nostalgia!" Finally able to return to China, that year was 1970, with joy in her heart and a child in her belly, Xi Murong felt that going back and forth was the biggest key to her life. Jiang Xun returned to China in 1976. Chugo also came back—although he did not go abroad.For many years, he has been immersed in the waves of modern poetry and modern painting.However, since 1968 when he worked for the "Palace Museum" in Taiwan, he has successively published many papers on bronze wares. In 1971, he set up a column in the "Chinese Cultural Revival Monthly" and wrote "Chinese Art History" for two consecutive years.People who know him can't help but be amazed at his hasty return to tradition, but those who know him well may know that Chu Ge's temperament is changing while changing, and changing while remaining unchanged. In 1981, Jiang Xun published a collection of poems. In the preface, he said: When I read my first collection of poems, I found that there are many sad and high The sound, when repeated, blushed extraordinarily. Then he said: In the past few years, I have been at the foot of Datun Mountain and often walked up the mountain.In spring, the earth is warmer, and the clouds and wind are blowing from the valleys. After several days of rain, the streams are buzzing everywhere, rushing and rushing among the chaotic rocks, and converging into clear pools in deep depressions. ... I look at the water, just to see it moving, still, slow, fast, back, whirling, collapsing, leaping, it doesn't seem to have the slightest problem with its own shape, whether it is struggling to jump on a steep cliff, or it is calm Like the virgin, with such a different distortion, you can still recognize it, and you can return to the water you know. I also have this longing for life, no matter how changeable it is, it is life after all. I also have this yearning for poetry, no matter what style it is, it is poetry after all, it does not matter if it is an abyss, rapids, raging waves, or shallow currents, the reason why it is poetry is not because of its distortion, but because you know it Can be answered in poetry. It's not just Jiang Xun who left before, but even more, with a whole lot of deep love. In 1983, he accepted the post of head of the Fine Arts Department of Tunghai University. As for Xi Murong, she lived in a place called Longtan, painting, teaching, writing poetry and being a mother.The successive art exhibitions are portrait series, mirror series, lotus series and night series. The plot of Chu Ge has changed a little. At the end of 1986, he found out that he had nasopharyngeal cancer. Since then, he has been fighting cancer with one hand and working with the other. He also published three books before the war and traveled to the country four times. Opened five or six art exhibitions in Hong Kong and Taiwan. In 1986, Jiang Xun opened a class called "Literati Painting" for the graduates, and he taught this class together with Chu Ge and Xi Murong.Jiangxun belonging to the Weishui River and Danshui River, Chuge belonging to the Miluo River and Waishuangxi River, Murong belonging to the Chief Lamulun and Dahan River, originally three rivers flowing in different directions, but at the moment, a fat moon is alluvial at the intersection. bay soil. "Students have received four years of professional training," Jiang Xun said. "What I'm trying to do now is not to 'build' something for them, but to 'break' it for them. I found three people to teach this course. 'Break a break' for them!" Not only the students benefited, the three teachers also silently appreciated each other's benefits.Xi Murong, who belongs to the Mongolian plateau, can drink the water of Miluo; Jiang Xun, who is from Fujian but comes from Xiaosongta in Xi'an, can control the order of the grassland; as for Chu Ge, who is from Chu, he also has to listen to the love songs of Mount Dadu .It belongs to people who were impossible to meet in the past. They know each other and meet each other in a foreign land, and they pour each other, increasing the water volume and flow rate of each other, forming a beautiful and fertile watershed. In April 1987, walking along the Lushui, Wenshan, Huihuiwan, and Jiumei of Taroko Park all the way is the Taosai River and the entire riverbed of Shiji (formerly known as Taosai, here is a deliberate typo).Going forward, there is an impenetrable peach blossom. When the peach blossom is in full bloom, it stands like a historical fortress.Lying on the moss-stained bluestone under the tree, it was a little difficult to see the sky - that day, the classroom was under the flowers. "Mr. Xi," a girl came, her eyes vaguely reflected the confusion she felt twenty years ago, "I can't paint this peach blossom, what should I do?" "Can't draw it?" Her tone is sometimes determined and almost fierce, "You ask me, I tell you, I can't draw it myself! Who said you want to draw it? You really draw it Come down, so what?" "The profession of painters is superfluous!" Jiang Xun, who had climbed onto a big rock, announced to himself. I don't know whether the students should hear this.Suddenly, he called out to a stone covered with fretwork, "Look, this is water painting itself on the stone." Chu Ge was even more reckless. He didn't write a pen in his sketchbook, but he chatted with a local "Lotus Pond Owner" and kept asking how he could come here to take root. "Shanshui," said Jiang Xun, "I think it is the Chinese religion." The mountain is located between the catastrophe and the great kindness, and the water is the water of sadness and joy.The mountain is an indifferent and unobtrusive mountain beyond the blue sky, and the water is the water that goes straight to the world after a night of rain in the mountain. A gust of wind blows, and the heather on the cliff casts a layer of red mist, and the stream always chooses the most difficult path to walk, like an artist who can't get along with himself, making it endless, the voices of the teachers and students gradually become weaker, and finally It was merged by the sound of wind and stream and incorporated into Yishanchunsheng.