Chapter 49 just because you're young

In the novel class, when I was talking about the novel, I stopped and asked: "What is the opposite of love!" "hatred!" Probably because they are sure about the answers, they answered quickly and loudly, with bright and cheerful expressions. If a foreigner who does not understand Chinese passes by outside the classroom at this moment, even if he guesses a hundred times, he will not be able to guess their singing voices. He was actually saying the word "hate". I looked around the classroom and sighed in my heart, just because I was young, just because I was too young, I put down the book and said:

"Let's put it this way, for example, you are now in love, and then you broke up. After fifty years, you are seventy years old. One day, you are walking in the evening, and the road is narrow, and you meet again. At this time, The other party looked at you fixedly and said: 'XXX, I hate you! ' If the plot is like this, then you should be glad that you have been hated by others for half a century. Hate is also an emotion that is easily tired. It is not easy for someone to hate you for fifty years. Say: "XXX, do you still recognize me?" The other party stared at you blankly and said:

'Ah, it looks familiar, what's your last name? " The whole class laughed, probably the imaginary scene was too funny and embarrassing? "So, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference." Can the students who have stopped laughing hear the conclusion? ——Just because you are too young, is it so easy to say love and hate? The students who came to interview sat in a row on the sofa in the living room, and one of them asked: "Reading your works, I found that your emotions are very delicate, and you say you are caring, but caring is easy to get hurt, right? So what should I do?"

I glanced at her, what a young forehead, what a young cheek, some questions, if you want to ask, you should ask the years, ask me, what can I answer?But her bright eyes were fixed on me, and I suddenly laughed, almost in a narrow tone. "Injuries, there are such things—but what's the use of keeping yourself intact and uninjured? Do you have to defend yourself well?" She looked at me in surprise, unable to answer for a moment. In this world, if a heart suffers from scratches, burns, frostbite, bruises, crushes, sprains, and even internal injuries, how can it not be hurt at all?If caring and love must include injury, then there is no need to be complete, just torn. Isn’t Christ different from the world because of the wounded palms where the nail marks are still there?

Little girl, just because you are young, and because your radiant skin is too complete, are you reluctant to bump into each other and afraid of getting hurt? "What is economics?" He stood on the podium, wearing glasses and a gray suit, with a calm voice, a typical middle-aged scholar. Sitting under the stage are first-year university students, and I am the one who secretly listens in this large classroom of 200 people. I was excited from the beginning of school, because I saw on the schedule that there was going to be a course "Introduction to Social Sciences", including four professors who would give four lectures on "Politics", "Law", "Economy" and "Anthropology".Thinking that I can be a student again and learn new knowledge that is new to me, I can't hide the joy. Sitting alone in the research room, I can't help but smile softly.

"Economics is the 'most appropriate arrangement' of 'limited resources' to get the 'best effect'." The students in the audience rustled their notes. "Why does economics happen? Because resources are 'scarce', not only material is 'scarce', but time is also 'scarce' - and why is 'scarcity'? Because, compared to 'desire', everything appears to be 'scarce' ..." Originally, I wanted to skip economics among the four courses and refused to listen, because I felt that discussing material things was probably not worth much. I didn't expect to hear such an explanation when I walked into the classroom.

"What do you think is economics? A student has to take an exam and is running out of time. How should he read books? This is called economics!" I froze over and thought about his phrase "Why is there economics - because of scarcity - why is it rare, because of desire" and I was trembling and startled, like a stubborn cliff in the mountains, and I heard the master's words, and I couldn't help shaking to the rocks and bones The degree to which the pulp rattles.It turns out that the whole life can also be viewed as economics, and life is so short and rare!But the misfortune of man is that the ever-hungry heart seeks and pulsates.Why is it that there is something unsatisfied?Why is this so?I sat obsessively, with tears streaming down my face and I didn't dare to move it, I didn't dare to let the young teaching assistant beside me see it, I didn't dare let the young freshman see it.Strange, why don't they shed tears?Just because you're young?Because you are young, you can't see that if life is like a play, it can only be like a short one-act play? "The morning is like blue silk and the evening is snow", how can there really be a distinction between youth and adulthood in the ups and downs of the day and night? "Hurry up and turn off the lights at night", life in a hurry is like going to a noisy night banquet, how can there be a difference between early and late?But they are not sad, they are taking notes with their heads down.I cried when I heard economics. If someone else told me this, I would probably laugh out loud, laughing at their promiscuity, but...

"So," the professor of economics spoke again, "a writer, Kalea, described it this way: economics is a 'depressed science'..." I wondered, is this professor an elder who came to teach the Dharma out of intention, or a stranger who escaped without intention?As for the students in the hall sitting upright, is it because the years are still too early, as early as a shallow stream that has just waded through the water, so it is so calm and motionless?Why, in the fragrance of the masts of May Mountain, I, who listened to economics alone, was shocked and burst into tears for this short and lustful life that was explained in one word?

One year spent similar, each year is different. In the poetry selection class, I wrote the sentences on the blackboard and asked the students: "Is this sentence well written?" "it is good!" Their voices sounded sincere, probably at the age of Qiang Shuochou, so it is easy to be moved by such neat, witty and melancholy sentences, right? "This is a poem, written more elegantly. In fact, there is a Xinjiang folk song with a similar meaning to it, but it is more popular. Do you know what the lyrics say?" They were responsive, and immediately scrambled to call out:

When the sun goes down, it still climbs up tomorrow morning, After the flowers are withered, they will still bloom next year. The beautiful bird flies away without looking back, My youthful bird does not come back, My youthful bird does not come back, The lively character simply sang. "These two sentences are good sentences from a perceptual point of view, but from a logical point of view, there are some unreasonable things-of course, literary performance does not have to be logical, but I still hope you can see where the problem is ?” They looked at each other in blank dismay, and recited the sentence carefully, but none of them could answer.I waited for them, waiting for all the rosy and intelligent faces, but finally gave up, because I was too young, and it was difficult to notice some sadness.

"Do you know why we say 'flowers are similar'? It's because of unfamiliarity, because we don't know flowers. Just like a hundred years ago, we rarely saw foreigners in China, so in our eyes, they all look the same. But now, we have seen a lot, and then we know that foreigners are very different from foreigners. Even if they are Americans, some people have the ability to see the difference between New York, San Francisco and small southern cities at a glance. Let’s look at last year’s flowers and this year’s flowers The same, because we are not flowers, we have never known flowers, experienced flowers, if we are not human beings but flowers, we would say: 'Look, there are new and fresh faces on campus every year, but our flowers seem to be getting older every year. ' Similarly, although the birds in Xinjiang songs never return, the sun and flowers also never return. The sun knows, and the sun also says: "When we woke up this morning, we were already weaker and older than yesterday. It's strange, but human beings always have young faces from generation to generation..." We are human beings, so we feel the vicissitudes of human affairs. In fact, nothing in the world is not born, old, sick, and dying. It is only because we are human beings that we can only see human pain when we speak. Guess, if the author of that poem is Flowers, how would flowers be written? " "People are similar every year, but flowers are different every year." They answered in unison. They are actually not stupid, no, they can even be said to be smart, but why did they not understand at all just now?Just because you are young, just because you don't know the sadness of the withering metabolism shared by all life in the universe! He is an old professor in the biology department, a foreigner, and he was retired when I met him. "When I was young, my father was a doctor. When he saw a doctor, I stood next to him. He said: 'Child, come here, which bone is this?' I immediately said the name..." I like to hear the old people talk about their childhood, the memories that people can't forget when they are old, it is a bit like the stones picked up from the bottom of Taihu Lake, it is hard and thin after washing the dust and mud, and it is attached to the alluvial washing of a lifetime the waves. The man was presumably destined to be a biologist. "When I was a teenager, I liked to look at the microscope, because there was a magical and hidden world in it, but I couldn't see clearly the smallest places. I couldn't help but think in my heart, hurry up and make a new microscope with high magnification, so that I can see it clearly. More clearly, let me understand the details more thoroughly, so that I can understand more about the essence of life, and my doubts will disappear..." "What happened next?" "Later, as expected, microscopes got better and better, and we could see more and more things clearly, but..." "But what?" "But I didn't become the 'person who understands the truth of life better' as I expected. What's worse is that I don't understand more than before. The previous microscopic multiples were not enough, and some things were not found at all, so I don't know where there are other things hidden. It’s a secret, but now, the more I look at it, the more I know, the more I don’t understand it, it turns out there is another string of mysteries behind the mystery…” I looked at his puffy cheeks and bright eyes, and knew that he had finally "recognized". Half a century ago, that high-spirited young man thought that as long as he had a high-magnification microscope, the secrets of life could be easily solved. , what made him dare to give birth to those fantasies?Just because you're young?Just because you're young?After retiring, he watched the flowers bloom and wither under the street trees on the campus, and finally smiled with lowered eyebrows, and said in a tone almost salacious: "There is no way, even with a high-magnification microscope. When you try your best to think that you can see more things, life always leaves a mystery that you can't figure out..." At the beginning of school, I asked them to describe themselves, because I was their tutor and wanted to know more about them. Freshman freshmen, who have just come down from Chenggong Mountain, look like seniors from a certain point of view, but they are very cooperative, describing themselves to the best of their ability one by one. When they finished talking, I suddenly felt surprised and unbelievable. According to my opinion, they were divided into two groups. One group said, "I used to like to play, but I didn't work hard. From now on, I want to study hard." Lei said: "I used to only know how to read books. From now on, I want to join some clubs or go on outings." Oddly enough, both have mild remorse and regret. So I remembered an old story more than 30 years ago. At that time, a movie episode (probably called "Yuguang Song") was popular, and my aunts and uncles played and sang it enthusiastically. Kyushu" felt that it was acceptable, but was greatly puzzled by the other sentence. "Uncle, why did you sing 'little sister flows in the water of youth (or "lost"? I don't remember)'?" "Because she is a fisherman's girl. Fishermen's girls can't go to school for fishing, so of course it's a waste of youth!" All I knew at the time was that I was dissatisfied immediately, but because I was too young, I couldn't give reasons, and I didn't know how to make a noise, so I had no choice but to keep silent, but the dissatisfaction in my heart was terrible, and it could be buried for more than 30 years. When I was in middle school, I heard "spring is irritating", and I didn't give up asking why spring is so good, but why it is so good that it is annoying, and others can't answer it. The trouble is related to "sex".But things must not be like this, there must be another reason, which I vaguely know, but can't articulate. When I was older, when I read "Faust", those questions that had been buried for a long time came together, and I vaguely knew that there was some explanation there. The old Faust, sitting in front of the room full of his own life's knowledge, in the shadow of the classics and albums, he glimpsed April outside the window, and the singing came, a noisy procession celebrating Easter.At that moment, he regretted it. He felt that his life was thrown away. He thought that as long as he was young again, everything would change.In Chinese Yuan zaju, Lao Dan routinely says, "Flowers will bloom again, and people will never be young again" (speaking calmly but surely, and I don't know if the audience will be shocked), but Faust puts his soul on the stage. Note, in exchange for the second degree of youth and the "possibility that may be possessed" because of youth.Poor Faust, a pedant, doesn't know that life is such a good thing that whatever way you choose to live it seems like a waste. Life is like a pearl in a mythical world, which comes from the gravel and returns to the gravel. What is crystal clear is just the short illusion in the middle!However, isn't it just this short paragraph that makes us feel upside down?There is another similarity between pearls and life, that is, it is okay for you to spend all your money to buy a pearl, but it is absurd for you to exchange pearls for clothes and food. There is also helplessness in front of the beauty's chest, which is nothing more than making the two cooperate in a "slow-motion old man".The pearl is just its round and colorful self, you can only look at it helplessly, you can only be happy or sad - because you caught up with the period of splendor between the gravel and must return to the gravel in time. But Faust doesn't know—or insists on not knowing, what he wants is another "possibility", like a gambler who doesn't know whether it's because of bad skills or bad luck, he always thinks that if he is allowed to play another game, He must be able to turn the book.I finally know how to say a sentence I wanted to argue with my uncle more than 30 years ago. If a woman who fishes is a waste of her youth, isn’t it also a woman who picks firewood?Although the name of reading is pleasant, but it makes the eyes dizzy and the spine rickety, shouldn't it be regarded as a waste of youth?In addition, isn't a deep-seated love considered fleeting?Isn't fame and fortune not billowing dust?No, youth is so good, so good that no matter how you live it, you feel wasted, and when you look back, you will regret it. Now I understand the phrase "spring is annoying". The most feared thing in the world should be that "soldiers can be blocked by generals, and water can be covered by soil". As long as there are countermeasures, you should not be afraid of the opponent's moves.I'm afraid that when a person is carefully fighting with real life and the result is a tie, suddenly an opponent named Universe Dahua appears from outside the formation, and he pulls out a trick called "Spring" diagonally, As humans, we are really caught off guard.Facing the overwhelming peach blossoms and willows, the bone-destroying fragrance of flowers, the soul-destroying sunshine, how can the luxury and beauty of life not make us feel at a loss? At this moment, we really need to do nothing Regret - regret what you have done.The beauty of spring makes people annoyed and stomps their feet, because we have nothing to do with anger! Looking back, I think about the students in my tutor's class. They are smart and enlightened, but they can't help regretting half of their study and half of their love of playing -- just because they are too young, just because they are young, thinking that as long as they change the way, everything will be fine. Turned around without regret.Children, no, it's really not like that!Life is too perfect, youth is too perfect, even a rush of spring is too perfect, so perfect that it looks like a balloon in a child's hand in a festival, it will cry when it flies, and it will cry when it bursts, even if it empties day by day It is also to make people cry! So, young child, don't you even see this simple truth?Life is a big creditor, no matter what we do, we are all his debtors. In this case, let's just relax and "don't worry about debts"!Since youth is a regret of "whatever you do is a waste", why not think about it the other way around, then it is almost equal to "no need to regret anything you do sincerely", because you either read or play, Or fighting, or fishing, just happens to be what the other person sighs and says he regrets not making it. ——However, is that so?Isn't that so?In front of life, can I suffer from occupational diseases and be a teacher who treats others as children?Or am I still just a young Mongolian child, a child who is not convinced, wants to argue, and is vague?