Chapter 11 Clothes and shoes

——How much do you know each other in this world?And a blind date in clothes and shoes is also a meeting and parting in the thin world—— All scarves are gentle, like sweat towels, silk scarves and wool scarves. Towels don’t need to be cut, they have no image, and they don’t even have a size. Towels are so gentle that they don’t stick to their own image. They are pinched in the hand, wrapped around the head, or wrapped around the neck. The towel is so soft and warm. , is distressing. Scarves are always beautiful, the kind of maternity beauty, whether drawn or embroidered, or lacquered or painted silver, or woven cotton, or crocheted, the scarf is always so delicate and elegant.

And this world can no longer tolerate tenderness and beauty. Robert Taylor is dead, Stewart Granger is old, Vivien Leigh has disappeared, and Charles Bronson is replaced by 007, the cold and hard Jane Fang Da and Faye Dunaway. Only the scarf still maintains a classic tenderness and beauty. I have a light brown mohair wool scarf, which is the color of husked barley kernels in the New Year, and I can almost smell the dried drum skin. Even on days that are not too cold, I like to wear it. It is an inconspicuous scarf, but its touch is light and warm, like the strings in the south wind, leaving the world in the cold, my There is a circle of warmth between the items.

Suddenly one day, I was walking on the mountain path I was used to, and the reeds all over the mountain were softly stretched out. What a color of reeds every year!Only then did I realize that the reeds and my woolen scarf have the same tone and touch. The autumn mountains are quiet and the autumn is empty. In autumn, I am also wearing a reed scarf, winding from the top of the mountain to the trough, dragging from the trough to the river, An old and gentle scarf! Wrap me with your arms, my scarf, and on colder days you will cover my ears and my hair, you will fold yourself in my image, you will protect me from the left side , haunt me from the right side, you are a flexible and loyal moat, you pamper me in my toughness, let me also have a little weakness, a little helplessness, even a little coquettish, you are in When I was about to break away in high spirits, I quietly stretched out my arms to hold me, which made me suddenly feel the warmth of the world, and you softened me suddenly, and stayed in the world with all my heart.Like a mountain, stay in the boundless and fluttering reeds.

Towels are really gentle, among all the towels in the world, mine is the only one. I have a knapsack made of squares of shredded cowhide.I recite it almost every day, and I have recited it for more than five years. Every time I used a broken leather, I went to the shoemaker to ask him to mend it. He was willing at first, but gradually he kindly advised me not to save too much. I took it for dry cleaning, and the proprietress smiled at me subtly and said, "You probably like this bag very much, don't you?" I said yes!" She said, "No wonder it's so old!" I was walking on the street with that bag on my back, and suddenly I saw a chic furniture store. As soon as I walked in, the lady who was sitting idle suddenly came up to me and said:

"Hey, you learned to paint, right?" I shook my head firmly. Anyway, I can't bear to throw it away. It is the only bag I have ever used that can hold a book of etymology and a lunch box. It is so big, so light, so strong and reliable. In the East, pouches are often mysterious, and there is always something in the back bag. Every time I put the bulging old back bag on my shoulder before going out, I feel mixed emotions in my heart. How much money, stuffed in and out, how many books, put in and taken out, how many times my lunch bread was put in it, how many letters, how many newspapers, how many students' homework, how many business cards, how many weddings and funerals Messages stand and disappear in it.

A backpack is a small life. In the past, when the baby tooth fell out, you put it in hastily. In the past, a pine cone fell head-on on the mountain path, and you picked it up and stuffed it into the bag.Sometimes it’s a green prong, sometimes it’s a handful of shells, sometimes it’s an ID card, passport, bus ticket, sometimes it’s socks, smoked chicken, duck gizzard or aspirin for that person . I love the backpack, or maybe because I love the life that actually happened. Carry a bag on your back, both hands are empty, empty hands make you feel at ease, feel that there are countless good things that can be mastered, you can swim with a stick like a hermit in a Chinese painting, you can fight like a hero holding a flag, And the back bag is not light or heavy on the shoulders, a kind of sweet bondage.

In the middle of the night, I put the whole backpack in front of the bed, lovingly caressing the worn-out pieces, like a charlatan playing with old outfits, waiting for the tomorrow morning rush to the state. Tomorrow morning, I will still carry my backpack to chase tomorrow's wind and sand. Hong Kong people seem to call that kind of clothes "dry and wet coats", which is actually a good name, but I prefer what we call them in Taiwan - windbreakers. Every time I put on the windbreaker, I felt strange for no reason. For some reason, especially when I just buckled the belt, I always suspected that I was about to set off to wander.

Putting on the windbreaker, I feel the wind and rain are swaying on the road ahead, and there are thousands of miles of unknown roads waiting outside the alleys. The days when you wear a windbreaker should be windy, whether you are new to the gentle spring breeze, or the cold autumn wind that picks up after the green tide ebbs.The wind calls you in the clouds, the wind calls you with a desolate trill through thousands of leaves, the days of wearing a windbreaker are always desolate for no reason-but it is also majestic for no reason: Wearing a windbreaker, it seems that there is a story to start.

There must be wind in the south of the Yangtze River, blowing the green on both sides of the bank, the willow curtain on both sides... There must be a wind blowing in the north of Saibei, and you will be surprised to see the cattle and sheep in the desert... There must be a wind like the flowing cloud ribbon in the old drama, round and softly enclosing 11 million square kilometers of crabapple leaves. There must be a wind like a song, like a flute, all over Los Angeles overnight. Those who read Baiyun written by Han Gaozu, peonies written by Emperor Xuanzong of Tang Dynasty, and Dasanguan written by Lu Fangweng, that wind, today I read your full forehead of green hair, and you are wearing a windbreaker, walking in the wind of the ages .

Is the wind the long sigh of heaven and earth?Is the wind the uneasiness caused by the surge of blood? The wind blew up the large lapels of the windbreaker, and the wind blew up the hem of the windbreaker, hitting my legs.I looked around, life is so vast, I feel that there is an infinite horizon waiting Those shoes were made of suede, brass-colored, and looked to have a beautiful texture. The bottom was a soft, flat rubber sole that was two centimeters thick. The shoes were very stupid-looking, bald, with laces on them, and they looked solid and sturdy, as if they would last a lifetime. Thinking of "a lifetime", I can't help but feel sad and shocked, but I can't say what it is, what does a lifetime mean, and what does half a life mean?What is seventy years?What is more than seventy or less than seventy?

Every time I wear those shoes, I can't help but ask myself, what is a lifetime, I think desperately, but I still don't know what a lifetime is. It’s been four years, and the shoes are as bald and thick as before. I can’t help but feel a little scared. Maybe, one day, I will be old, and I will no longer be able to go to the call of the spiritual rain in the empty mountain, and I will no longer be able to jump up and go to the five lakes and three rivers. invitation, but it is still intact? In fact, I always wear those shoes when I am in the best mood. They are a pair of travel shoes, and every time I put them on, it means that there is a good time waiting for me. The black asphalt, but this pair, stepped on the wet sand by the sea, the purple rock on the shore, it stepped on the spring in the mountain, and walked to the moonlight under the forest.But no matter what, every time I see it, there is always a trace of sadness. Maybe not for any reason, just because it is the only pair of shoes that I will really walk after I wear it, just because we walked all over the flowers, the moon, the moon and the thousands of miles of gray sand together. Whether I wear it or not, whether I walk or stop, those shoes always amaze me. Denim, of course, should be used for jeans. Wearing jeans is obviously supposed to belong to another world, but the amazing thing is that denim gradually changed, it began to accept the old world, and the old world also accepted denim, so denim skirts and denim skirts Appeared.It turns out that denim can also be soft and beautiful. Denim vests, denim suit jackets, and denim coats have also appeared. It turns out that denim can also be elegant and solemn. I bought a denim dress, dark blue, down to the floor, and I love it like hell.During the trip, I wore it for seventy days at a stretch. When it got dirty, I washed and dried it in a washing machine at a friend’s house and still wore it on my body. It's kind of crazy. But I like myself when I'm a little crazy. So I love that denim dress, and myself in that dress. For a traveler, extra clothes are unnecessary, no one knows what you wore yesterday, so today, at this new station, you have the right to wear the same clothes as yesterday, a traveler has no wardrobe or mirror, in In summer, travelers can walk around the world with two shirts and one skirt. When the holidays are over, I go back to school, my denim skirts are hung up, and I wear what I'm supposed to wear. But, every time I take out that skirt, my heart is still full of joy. Putting on that skirt, I am no longer a mother's daughter or a daughter's mother, no longer a teacher's student or a student's. Teacher, I no longer have any title or position.I'm not someone else's wife, no matter the 42-ping apartment.The denim dress has gradually become a magic dress for me. Once I wear it, I am just me, not belonging to anyone, not even belonging to Dahua, because when I walk all the way, into the mountains, into the water , walking into the wind, walking into the clouds, walking, walking, in fact, I actually turned myself into Dahua. At that time, I became the unnamed me, walking straight away, more freely than Baoyu wearing a scarlet cloak on the boundless snow, because there is not even a monk on the left and right.I'm just me, attached to nothing, belonging to nothing, crazy happy. It's just that when the time comes, I still come back to play the role that I am sympathized with or envied, and I become the person I am in name again. That’s why I’ve always loved my denim dresses — and myself in them — with a strange emotion. the necessity of tenderness affirmative necessity That sentence was said by Yan Xian. A little wine and sweet-scented osmanthus are necessary Necklaces may be completely unnecessary, but they are obviously necessary, even as long as the history of human civilization. Or a string of shells, a wild boar tooth, or a gold collar of an Egyptian, or an azure stone of an Indian, or a bead ring and jade pendant of a Chinese, or an ancient coin of the Romans, or even a gem of a Turk. ... the necklace is indeed a necessity. Not only necklaces, but all bracelets, armlets, earrings, finger rings, tiaras, and brooches are necessary. How could any girl not have a little box? How could there be no necklace in that box? The sweet potato leaves in the field and the small wildflowers on the embankment can all be impromptu necklaces.When I was a little girl, I always fantasized that I was beautiful. After eating custard apples, the dark brown seeds were necklaces. Even my father finished smoking, and the layer of cellophane was twisted into patterns and strung together into a ring. That cellophane necklace In the end, only half a string was made. Dad's cigarettes were too little, and I grew up too fast. Gradually, there is also a box of necklaces that can be played with, bamboo, wood, stone, ceramic, bone, fruit stone, shell, and glass inlaid. In short, except for a jade necklace worth 400 yuan Pendants are all worthless things. But how charming the box was! The little girl always stared at the box with wide eyes. All the daughters liked to "borrow" their mother's treasures, but what they really borrowed was their mother's youth. One of my favorite necklaces is carved from bone (the word "keep bone" is so deep, it makes people think of "keep bone", and I have a real "keen bone", it is unbelievable), it is tied with a thin leather, and it is carved with a thumb. The little baby in swaddling clothes, with a round and flat face, was so cute as hell.The place where I bought it was an Indian village, and the seller also said that it was carved with Indian seals, because only Indians tie up dolls with ropes and raise them. When I saw it, I almost cried out, our Chinese dolls are like this too, I couldn't resist buying it. My younger daughter asked me who the doll was, and I said: "It's you!" She took a closer look, and she really believed it. She was so happy and excited that she didn't go in and took it out to touch it, thinking it was her own statue. I didn't lie to her, the correct name of the bone necklace should be "baby", it can be an Indian baby, it can be a Chinese baby, it can be a Japanese baby, it can be anyone's son, daughter, or it can even be It was the man himself. I hang it on my chest, close to the height of my heart, it reminds me of "The Son of Man", and my heartbeat almost softens because of it, I will think of the child when he was very young, and think of all human beings in their swaddling arms smile. When I hung that necklace, I truly believed that it and I were both beautiful. That red velvet vest was worn when I was pregnant, and the lower edge is so wide that it looks like a bell. It was originally an old dress, given to me by someone else. It was a very pure rose red color, with a classic lace trimmed on the big pocket. I gave away all the other maternity clothes, leaving only this one reluctantly, hanging in the storage room, it always affects something. , hiding something. I don’t know why the unhappiness of pregnancy is blurred when I think about it, and I can’t remember the pain and suffering clearly. It’s strange that childbirth is a process that neither the person who gave birth nor the person who was born can explain the process clearly. . And that earth-shattering process, the mysterious experience of towering cultivation, almost does not exist at this moment, like a star, although I know it was formed hundreds of millions of years ago, but I can't repeat that memory at all, you can only see the sun. The rising moon is constant, and everything is turning around. You just feel infinite awe.Things in the world can turn out to be beautiful in the chaos. And that red velvet vest hangs there, soft and bright, so real, it reminds you of the past when you were pregnant like a rough stone containing a jade.At that time, there were two heartbeats, symphonic in a chest—and the chest was in a red velvet vest bursting with color.For me, it is not a piece of clothing, but the "Genesis" of the child. Every time I stare at it, I can relive the feeling of power when the baby's belly expands too late.At that time, as a pregnant woman, what she was pregnant with was a rapidly expanding Milky Way.Really, at that time, all pregnant women are the universe, with all kinds of solemnity. And the child grew up, and there was playing with his stamp album or colored pens.Year after year, winter and summer, when I was picking clothes, I always saw the red velvet hanging there like a witness, and then I used to turn my eyes to look at the child, and I felt lonely and sweet.