Chapter 4 she taught me

——Written for Professor Ji Mangui, a teacher of fantasy Chinese drama Autumn is deep. The humming of the crocodile in the back mountain was rendered in the rain, and Taipei was in a haze of lights, and she was no longer in the city. The memory also seems to have started on a rainy night. At that time, she held a screenwriting class and I went to attend the class; it was winter, and the cold rain fell all day, and the students gradually stopped coming. The road often seemed strangely bleak, and I suddenly found that I couldn't skip class, and I couldn't leave her alone in an empty classroom.I must go to class on time.

I often remember that she struggled to climb up to the third floor with a bag of all kinds of treasures. She often coughed when she sat down. The cold weather was very bad for her trachea. But before the next cough appeared, she still bought time to say a few more sentences. I don’t know why, but when I think of her, I always think of her walking with her purse on her back, as if she has walked for thousands of years, walking out of the old-fashioned teacher’s way, from the distant ancient theater. Walking out, it seems that you have traveled tens of thousands of miles, and waded through the most desolate desert to teach the most ignorant student.

Maybe it was a coincidence. Once I asked the students of the drama department of the Cultural Institute what impression they had of her. They also said that they often remembered standing in the classroom upstairs and watching her slowly walk up the mountain trail with a leather bag.She didn't like taking pictures in her life, but her image in our hearts is vivid. In that year, in memory of her parents, she set up a "Mr. and Mrs. Li Shengzhi's Script Award". She awarded the first prize to my first play "Hua", and she encouraged us to perform it.Before I met her, I never believed that I would devote myself to the work of stage plays-I didn't believe that I would be that stupid, but after all, I was also stupid. Only after being shocked by the spirit of another fool can a person become The new fool.

People often ask me why I write stage plays. I may have many reasons, but the first reason is "I met a teacher".I'm not a planner, the only reason I do things is: "If I like that guy, I'll do it with him".In addition to teaching, in addition to housework and children, in addition to many complicated affairs, completing a play every year is an overwhelming job, but I still do it, and I can't let her down. After "Painting", we launched "Incomparable Love", "The Fifth Wall", "Wuling People", "Self Cooking" (only performed in Hong Kong), "Heshi Wall" and this year's upcoming, cooperative People like director Huang Yigong and stage designer Nie Guangyan are also her students.

I still remember that last August, after I finished writing "Heshibi", I took a car to the new store in the middle of the night and knocked on her door. At that time, I had no time to transcribe it, so I showed her the manuscript.She called early the next morning. She encouraged me, praised me, and asked me to prepare for the performance. When I heard her call, I was very moved. She must have been staying up all night to watch it.Looking back now, I can’t help but feel guilty. It was her too gentle love that spoiled me. Why didn’t I think about her age and her body when I knocked on the door in the middle of the night excitedly?Was she sick then?Or is she living such an optimistic and positive life that we all forget her age and body?

I was invited by Cub Literature and Art to write a biography and chronology for her. For a long time, I carefully observed her life. She ate very little (there were often snacks at home), and her clothes were sloppy. , the houses and furniture are simple and practical, and they don’t even take taxis.I remember that I showed her the finished manuscript, and she only said: "It's so well written-how can I be so good?" Then she said: "After reading your article, others will misunderstand that I am lonely. In fact, I love excitement the most, and I only like it when all my relatives and friends are here!"

That's true, her celibate life is peaceful, lively and warm, she likes everything that is pleasant, she is like a child.It is rare to see a single woman who loves children like that. Of course, children love her too. She only plays with children and gives them chocolates. When she is with children, she is just a child, not a scholar, a professor, or a committee member. One night, I ran into two female students she had taught outside the ward. I said they were female students, but in fact they were Huafa’s mothers whose children were going to college. It was the year between her graduation from college and her entry into the graduate school. The students who have been teaching at Guangdong Peidao Middle School have been nearly half a century. (Ms. Li tried to write a script "Half a Century" in English in her early years. The content was about a missionary and a life-long dedication story. In fact, looking at it now, she herself is also a missionary who has dedicated half a century.) We sat on the porch together While chatting, the wife took out a letter from her son from Taichung, in which she remembered Teacher Li, and the big boy said, "Aside from my parents, she is the one I miss the most."—She is such a Missed by others, loved by others.

As her student, sometimes I can’t help wondering about her love life. For a person who loves beauty and life, it is hard to imagine that she has never been in love. Of course, no one is embarrassed to ask her directly. After a little exploration, I asked her: "Is there anyone who has influenced you the most in your life?" "Yes, my father, his unyielding attitude for the truth has greatly influenced me. My pen name is Yuchu (Mr. Li's name is Li Zhaolin, and the character is Yuchu, and Shengzhi is from the family tree. ranking) is to commemorate him".In addition to the elders, I also refer to the peers. Are there any friends among the peers that you admire and have influenced you for life? She thought for a while and said: "Yes, I have a male classmate who is very good at homework. Before I met him, I only liked to play, and I didn't think much of hardworking people. I only thought that talent alone was enough for writing, but he persuaded him Me, let me understand the importance of studying hard, and talent alone is not enough-I am still studying today, it can be said that it is influenced by him. "

As a girl, it's hard for me to believe that a girl is subdued by a boy and doesn't love him, but I don't know where the boy who is well educated is now, have they ever been in love?I didn't even ask his name.Maybe nothing started between them, and nothing happened-of course, I would rather believe that there is a beautiful story that has been lost by the years. According to two female students she taught in Peidao, "It's not that she has any particular celibacy, but I haven't met anyone as good as her." I think that statement is credible, and I want to find someone who is like her It is too difficult for people who are equally educated, tolerant, principled, and enthusiastic to be qualified in this world.Most people are always educated people who are unwilling to do things, and those who are willing to do things are not learned. Teacher Li's loneliness is not only at the end of her marriage, she is also lonely when it comes to advocating drama luck!

Once, Mr. Jiang Wei, who directed a stage play in Hong Kong, came to Taiwan to meet her. I took him to see her. She was very happy and gave him a set of autographs.When Mr. Jiang came to Taiwan for the second time, she also treated him to a meal.Perhaps because she is from Taishan and is familiar with the overseas Chinese society, she is very happy and excited whenever she hears about overseas acting. Still believe in tomorrow. I still remember that dinner, she asked me which one I wanted to go to, because I knew she was always frugal, (because she was used to frugality, she never felt that she was frugal, so you never felt that she was suffering So I suggested that she go to Yunnan Renhe Garden to eat "Guoqiao Noodles". She had a rare appetite and encouraged us to order more. It won’t make me poor, and if I don’t eat, it won’t make me rich.” Now, it’s been a year, and the words are still ringing in my ears, but the teacher will never take a bite of the world’s fireworks again. up.

I came back from abroad this fall. I finished the script and wanted to see her. I asked Huang Yigong what she could eat, "She doesn't eat anything. In the past three months, I only gave papaya once. Anyway, I can't give her anything." have eaten--" I think of her last play "Yao Chi Yu Meng", in which Emperor Wudi of the Han Dynasty once described death like this: You can still live in the world today, walking, moving, walking, talking, talking, laughing; eating, drinking, sleeping, waking up, singing, singing, enjoying the five flavors, appreciating the five colors , listening to the five notes, but she, lying on the ground in the cold and dark soil, her beautiful face, her wise heart...all...all...all... I feel sad for a long time. Teacher Li and I are both Christians, and we both believe in eternal life. When she was in extreme pain, we held hands and prayed together. It stands to reason that we should not care about "death"-but I am still grieving, and I firmly believe in a person who believes in eternal life. Basically speaking, people who love life love life, and those who love life cannot help feeling sad for parting. If we can love anyone, if we can say a word of gratitude to someone, if we can give someone a gift, do it early!Because no one knows whether it will be able to express tomorrow. In fact, when I returned to China in early August, if I went to see her immediately, she was still in good spirits, but I desperately rushed to catch up with a new play "The Third Evil". I lost the run, and when I brought the copied script to the ward 20 days after returning to China, she was already in critical condition, her eyes could not be opened, and her voice could only be heard by lying on her chest. I can't even open my eyes to read my script.Once Ziqi died, who would he play the seven strings for?But I will not break my qin. Although my teacher is dead, there is always someone who can be my teacher and friend among all living beings. Although I don’t know where that person is, why not hold the qin and stand on the thoroughfare Waiting on the avenue, the art of stage play will be accepted by people one day. At the beginning of the year, when everyone was preparing for the performance of the teacher's "Dream of the Yaochi", they were a little worried. Nie Guangyan once said: "Do it well, the old man will be seventy years old, and it's hard to say how energetic he will be in the future. We may be the last I worked for her once." Unexpectedly, the words came true, she was indeed operated on three months after she performed in "Fairy Dream of Yaochi", and she was cured in seven months. "Fairy Dream of Yaochi" later won the Golden Tripod Award for Best Performance, and its director Huang Yigong won the Best Director Award. I don't know what this honor can add to a dramatist who has never changed her ambition throughout her life. Show a little respect for her from society. Once, she jokingly said to me: "We have a saying in Guangdong: 'If you want to be angry, act.'" I don't know how much she suffered for the drama in her life, but I know that even in her later years, even after being angered all her life, she was still happy and peaceful.Even after the operation, she seemed to be dying, but she was planning when to leave the hospital, when to go abroad to arrange a good school for her two students, Huang Yigong and Niu Chuanhai, and to find a scholarship for further studies. After passing away, Yigong and Chuanhai may have the opportunity to further study in the future, or there will be no one who is willing to train them because of the death of their teacher, but in any case, they themselves received the most beautiful legacy, which is her sincerity and attention. She was lying on the hospital bed for four months. There was always a "Bible" on the desk, and there was always a loyal butler Amei beside the bed. Her real name was Li Meidan, and she was also in her sixties. After the Anti-Japanese War, she has been following Teacher Li until now. She is a thin, big-eyed, clean-faced old-fashioned woman who wears a black Tang suit all day long and smiles on her face. She said sadly: "What money are we talking about? I have served her all my life, what do I need money for? She has reached the last few days, even if she doesn't give money, I will serve." There is a genuine respect for her. Alexander the Great once said to himself: "I came empty-handed, and I go away empty-handed." But as a Christian, she could change this sentence to: "I came empty-handed, but with two full-handed love and hope Going back, I planted some immortality in the world, but it still exists for others.” Finally, I would like to dedicate my new play "The Third Harm" and its performance as a bouquet of chrysanthemums to the soul of my beloved teacher. I have been praised by others and destroyed by others, but she is the only one. , who taught me with wisdom and love.She has watched our performances from the foreground and backstage, and now, I firmly believe that she is still looking down from the sky to watch our generation's stage.