Chapter 7 be lenient

be lenient "Sit in meditation and always think about your own faults, and don't talk about others' faults when you chat." Although this sentence sounds pedantic, but if you think about it carefully, it is worth following. "Sit still and think about your own mistakes" is a kind of introspection.If we can often think of our negligence and deficiencies in doing things or dealing with others when we are calm, we will naturally reduce the feeling of complaining, resentment or revenge against others; You will not make the same mistake again in the future.This is the true meaning of the predecessors' advice to "sit quietly and often think about your own mistakes".

As for "don't talk about people's faults in small talk", it is a golden rule for us to conduct ourselves in the world. Using the spirit of talking about other people's right and wrong to "always think about one's own faults" can not only reduce the chance of offending others, but also correct one's own shortcomings at any time, which can be said to kill two birds with one stone. Someone said: "If we all knew how others talked about us behind our backs, I'm afraid we wouldn't even have a single friend." You don't have to seriously inquire and care about gossip.

You know, it's human nature for people to talk about your faults or shortcomings and say bad things about you behind your back on a whim.Even if he is your friend, the occasional casual word or two does not prove that he is not a friend enough.If you don't know, it's as if it never happened. However, if you are always worried about what others will say about you behind your back, and you try to find out, the person who sent the message may exaggerate or distort the matter.In this way, what was originally an unintentional chat will become a very serious intentional slander, and of course it will affect the relationship between friends.

I don't think it's necessary to be too serious in this respect; if you like your friend, you should instead defend or cleanse him in front of the messenger.Because this is the best way to gain your friends' confidence against you and stop gossip. The relationship between friends cannot be established in a short period of time.During the interaction with each other, disregarding minor grievances, properly eliminating minor misunderstandings, forgiving each other's intentional or intentional mistakes, etc., are the best ways to consolidate and enhance friendship. Many people can't make a friend in their life, so It is because he is too fussy.You know, how many people in the world have no shortcomings and no carelessness?If others also cared about our mistakes in the same way, wouldn't we also become isolated and poor people?

I have always liked a happy and friendly atmosphere.No matter in the family, among neighbors, among friends, between classmates and colleagues, if everyone meets each other in harmony, there is no prejudice in each other's hearts, there is no place to act emotionally, laughing and laughing, talking and laughing, that would be great!And the formation of this happy atmosphere is due to each person's generosity and tolerance. Holding the word "forgiveness" towards others, appreciating the good points of others, remembering the good points of others, forgetting the faults of others, forgiving the shortcomings of others, and not deliberately picking on others, you can get a kind of happiness with peace of mind.

In the old-fashioned big family, there are often jealousy and resentment among each other because of the many people talking.People often develop the habit of being vitriolic and vengeful. It is common for someone to speak unforgivingly. If you hurt me once, I will retaliate against you three times. I think it is a great spiritual victory.But in fact, we know that no matter how big or small the dispute is, if you have disputes and opinions, you will feel uncomfortable in your heart. Whether you win or lose, you will inevitably suffer a considerable loss in spirit.The result of fighting for power over trivial matters will definitely turn unintentional into intentional, and magnify small things into big things, and it will be even more difficult to get along peacefully in the future.

"Harmony can lead to auspiciousness", if you want to make your life happy and peaceful, don't forget the word "harmony". Harmony is not weak. A person who understands the use of the word "harmony" will become his invisible weapon; negatively, it can avoid getting involved in the vortex of useless disputes, and positively, it can overcome enemies that are unfavorable to him. Enemies turned friends.